Mixed Gender Life

[JohnH]

I have been asked to start a "Mixed Gender Life" thread by "mary something".

The big thing that keeps me from wanting to present exclusively as a female is my deep basso profundo voice. When I talk I sound something like Johnny Cash. If you click on the Youtube target in my signature block or the following target

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmCGPXoEdig

you will hear a very deep pitched voice singing. When I wake up in the morning and sing in the shower I sound just like that gentleman.

It's fun to be next to a very masculine looking man singing tenor or baritone in a choir and sing bass with my feminine appearance. :)

I really do not want to lose that singing voice which would happen if I spoke in a feminine voice all the time.

The M2F HRT has done wonders to get me out of my depression and has tremendously increased my attention span. I also interact much better with people than I did before! I don't have to subscribe to the "plain and ugly" convention males have to endure - I do wear lipstick and have a femme haircut.

So for me I function much better with the mixed gender life that I did when I was allegedly a straight male - but I always had wide hips and when my weight is under control my waist has always been above my naval, just like a genetic woman. I feel a lot more balanced in my body with having breasts, more feminine fat distribution, and softer skin.

John

[DaniG]

I really do not want to lose that singing voice which would happen if I spoke in a feminine voice all the time.

Why do you think this is the case? I also enjoy singing in my male voice. I'm pre-everything, so I'm not facing this, but I'd planned to continue singing in private (car, shower, etc.). I'd assume that unless you have vocal cord surgery that you'd retain your voice and could switch easily between the two, especially if you continue to sing in your male voice, and thus exercise it. Does that not make sense?

[JohnH]

"All the time" is the key. When a genetic male talks in the female range exclusively the ability to be able to talk in the root male range is diminished, let alone being able to sing in the basso profundo range if that range exists. It is also rather hard with my deep voice to talk in the female range - a normal male talks at about 120 Hz and I talk from 90 to 100 Hz - sometimes as low as 80 Hz.

John

[Angela Campbell]

If you are happy with your life as it is then there is no problem. I do not think it would work for me but that is me. No one needs to justify their choices and if it is working for you then keep on. I need to work on my voice and I think I can get a pretty passable voice with some work. If not I will learn sign language and tell people I am mute. I will not look for reasons I cannot do this anymore. Instead I look for answers to my challenges.

[mikiSJ]

I was watching a YouTube video of a young Asian TGer explaining her feminine and masculine voices. She was able to drop into each voice at whim and her masculine voice was as deep as any baritone voice (mine included).

I don't think you have to give up one voice for the other.

[JohnH]

One thing in my favor: my voice is smooth and is not raspy. I strive to be speak with a feminine pattern even though my speaking voice is an octave below that of a mature genetic woman.

By basso profundo I mean I can sing extremely loud at the low G in the bass staff, medium loud at a D below the bass staff, and can reach down to the 3 ledger line A below the bass staff. That is well below the baritone range.

I also sing bass in a church choir in a public context. It would be a terrible waste of my talent to sing only privately when I can harmonize and provide a foundation that is much deeper than most men.

John

[Marleena]

John, calling you John in this section is kinda weird. Anyways this section has TS women that find being their true selves is more important than just looking like a woman. So you will get some grief.

Now I'm not bashing you since I have a long ways to go myself. I believe with gender issues you only need to do what's necessary to have a good quality of life. So if you're happy all the more power to you.

[kimdl93]

If it works for you on so many levels, then it must be right!

[JohnH]

John, calling you John in this section is kinda weird. Anyways this section has TS women that find being their true selves is more important than looking like a woman. So you will get some grief.

Now I'm not bashing you since I have a long ways to go myself. I believe with gender issues you only need to do what's necessary to have a good quality of life. So if you're happy all the more power to you.

Marleena, I used to go by the username of JohannaH but I have resolved to myself to have only ONE personality - instead of having a masculine name for my "masculine" self and a feminine name for my "feminine" self.

There are genetic women that have masculine names, such as Douglas and Alexander.

Actually you are the first one in this forum to comment on my masculine name.

John

[KellyJameson]

With breasts have you had any unwanted male attention? This has been my single source of anxiety. Breasts are a game changer.

[mary something]

You said something really interesting that you resolved yourself to having only one personality. That sounds like the integration that transsexuals strive for, have you been a cross dresser in the past or did you have a 'femme" personality?

[STACY B]

I guess most of us will be mixed forever some kind of way ? Hell we will never be 100% female ,, lol,,, So we might as well get used to it ,, I will have too ,, Anyway some stuff is better ,, So lets just take all the good from both sides an keep them an chunk the rest ? What cha think ? Works for me !!

[JohnH]

Tonight for the church choir the genetic women (trebles) were gone. Only individuals with male voices including myself were present.

Most of us sang the melody while I sang bass where it was written out. It was neat to sing with other male voices without trebles. I still bond with other genetic males.

And yes, I was wearing a bra to support my breasts.

So I am definitely a two spirited individual.

John

[Barbara Ella]

All I can do is repeat that if it is working for you, then there is no reason to pursue anything more. We are all striving for that balance in our life, don't lose it.

Barbara

[JohnH]

Thanks Barbara.

John

[mary something]

I love how you've managed to find your own niche in this world and not have to sacrifice the voice talent that you have. You have your relationship, you have your social life in the church choir, and yet you are true to yourself and your two spirit nature. I appreciate you starting this thread and sharing more about yourself and how you've found your happiness. We are not all cut from the same cloth, and that is a wonderful thing! There is no single solution to how to live your life to be happy and whole, because all of our needs are different.

I am convinced (and so was Harry Benjamin) that all of us here biologically share similar brain attributes that we are genetically men but our brains are feminine to different degrees. That is why he created a scale of intensity of the phenomenon he was studying. Just like any other biological condition it can be expressed in different intensities in different people. Folks with diabetes for example, two people can have the same diet and lifestyle and yet their diabetes severity is different because their bodies biology is unique to them. There isn't a single biological condition that is expressed exactly the same between different people because we are all slightly different. That is why drugs have side-effects that are different for different people, some people are allergic to things that others aren't.

It seems you have found the path that is right for you and that is the key to being happy it seems to me. My path to happiness is different from yours, but it is no better or worse, and I hope I end up with the same result.

Love,
Mary

[JohnH]

I guess the only definition for passing for me is to go around a slow car on the highway. :)

I really don't care if I pass as a genetic woman. So everyone is different.

Mary, it's great to read your postings.

By the way, there is an ensemble Schola Pietatis Antonio Vivaldi or Vivaldi's Women, who is an all-female choir. They sing all four parts - soprano, alto, tenor, and bass. The bass part goes down typically to the low F touching the bass staff. So there are genetic women that can sing bass.

Here is a trailer on Youtube for Vivaldi's Gloria:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZaJth1WxGQ

Take care,

John

[JohnH]

Here is an influential person that has a mixed gender life:

Stu Rasmussen http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stu_Rasmussen

He has been in politics for a long time in Silverton, OR and is currently mayor of that city. He regards himself as a man with the use of masculine pronouns, and has a masculine voice even though he has breast implants and dresses as a woman.

John

[mary something]

thanks for posting that link John, I have read about Mr. Rasmussen before and find him to be an excellent representative for our community because he is well respected in his community and holds a leadership position of respect by his peers despite his gender differences. Not everyone would be happy with a full transition, and sometimes those folks that transition too far unfortunately later become advocates against other individuals obtaining the treatments and procedures that they need. In my opinion if we are able as a community to respect each person's choices regarding their gender status it helps all of us for this reason.

[STACY B]

I am going to Run for Mayor ,,, STACY B Mayor ,, Hows that sound ,,,

[JohnH]

My wife is getting more and more used to my feminine nature. She presented me a purse for my birthday, and she just ordered a dress for me. I look in the mirror every day and I do notice that I am getting more feminine in the face, and my breasts continue to develop. My wife and I are at peace with each other more so than ever before.

John

[mary something]

Happy birthday John! What type of purse did you get? I'm happy that your relationship with your wife is going so well!

[ReineD]

With breasts have you had any unwanted male attention? This has been my single source of anxiety. Breasts are a game changer.

I have breasts and I can safely say that the vast majority of men are well behaved around me. This has always been the case, even when I was in my 20s (and I was not unattractive then). :)

To John, I agree with Kim. If it works for you then it's all that matters. :hugs:

[JohnH]

Happy birthday John! What type of purse did you get? I'm happy that your relationship with your wife is going so well!

It is a crossbody black leather purse with cloth straps. My birthday was May 22.

John

[mary something]

that sounds nice, I like the hipster style purses because it is a pain in the but to always have a purse in one hand and regular purses don't have long enough straps to comfortably rest on one shoulder

[mary something]

Do you see yourself ever being intersted in changing gender roles John?

[Dora]

My experience is I am caught up between both male and female, I have more female in me, a high pitched voice, also when I wear black work pants for work my rear looks feminine, I have caught a few guys looking a few times(lol) also just a story about my voice which throws people off, one time I went through a drive thru and the next day my brother Rollie calls me and asks me if I went through a drive thru and I was like how did he know, he said one of his friends was working at the drive thru at the time and they were very thrown off because when I was ordering it sounded like a woman ordering but when I drove to the window to pick up my order they saw a guy instead, also one of my female interests that I really hold to my heart and is in me, the music is even in me is I love to dance, I have Just Dance 4 on my Ps3 dancing to both female and male dance songs, also I love Zumba dancing and sometimes go to the YMCA and do Zumba.

[LaurenB]

John, you are a role model of honesty and courage to myself and others. I wish we had a Mixed Gender Forum here. Anyone else interested in that? I'm not strictly a CD and I feel at core I have more classically female characteristics (trending TS and have been my whole life). I won't go there about why or why not transition - that's not the point of this post.

The CD.com forums tend to be either/or. I've been on other forums but they don't have the range or wonderful community that this one has. It would, however, be great to have a place in the middle to meet.

And John, the Vivaldi trailer link was a joy!

[JohnH]

Do you see yourself ever being intersted in changing gender roles John?

What most likely will happen with me is that I will continue to gradually migrate over to a typical feminine presentation and learning to speak with softer speech patterns along with with feminine voice inflections. However, I don't see myself raising the pitch of my voice but I may give myself a nickname of "Johanna".


My experience is I am caught up between both male and female, I have more female in me, a high pitched voice, also when I wear black work pants for work my rear looks feminine, I have caught a few guys looking a few times(lol)

I do have a girlie looking butt and I have been whistled at.


John

[Sephina]

John as long as your happy with yourself that's all that matters although I do have a unique suggestion for you I know a lady I work with her name is Johnna and you could go by john for short that way you dont technically have 2 names ones just short and ones long for the same, not that it matters either way its just an iinteresting name that I think matches your situation

[Badtranny]

I do have a girlie looking butt and I have been whistled at.

Ok John, you've mentioned several times now about your butt specifically and how feminine you look generally and I am just overwhelmed with curiosity, so please show us a pic.

...Please?

[Barbara Ella]

UH OH! I am sensing a post your butt thread developing. DOn't know if I can take that.....lol

Barbara

[Rianna Humble]

Just a reminder, this is not the picture gallery

[Marleena]

I think I must be taking the wrong stuff. "back to the endo*.

[JohnH]

John as long as your happy with yourself that's all that matters although I do have a unique suggestion for you I know a lady I work with her name is Johnna and you could go by john for short that way you dont technically have 2 names ones just short and ones long for the same, not that it matters either way its just an iinteresting name that I think matches your situation

Great suggestion, however, I am partial to Johanna since when the J is pronounced like our English Y ("Yohanna") it is the original New Testament Aramaic form of John.


Ok John, you've mentioned several times now about your butt specifically and how feminine you look generally and I am just overwhelmed with curiosity, so please show us a pic.

...Please?

It's not that I look so feminine in the absolute sense; rather you do not expect to see someone looking feminine to sound like Johnny Cash when (s)he talks or to be able to sometimes sing in a choir as an octavist (someone who sings the bass part an octave below).

My body measurements correspond very closely with a woman's size 20 - if my hips were an inch larger in circumference I would be a perfect size 20.

John