Bra

[Artistheart]

I want to start to wear a bra, but there is this guy who, for some reason likes to pat me on my back, makes it hard to carry out this goal. How can I wear a bra without wearing two shirts? Or should I just put my big girl panties on and give up on trying to wear one out?

[RADER]

Is this guy someone at work?
I was wearing a bra during the winter, and with a heavy flannel shirt and a "T"
shirt on, I thought I would be safe.
This lady that new me, and has not seen me for years, came out of the blue,
comes up to me and gives me a BIG hug.
She feels the bra clasp on my back, steps back, and starts to feel my shoulders,
and yes she finds a bra strap there also.
she then steps back and gives me a weird look, And asks me the Question....
Are you wearing a bra?
I said look, for over 60 years, I have been going bra-less, I feel it was about
time I joined the generation. So I am wearing a bra. I will show you mine if you
show me yours.
Well she started to laugh so hard that I thought she was going to roll around on the floor.
She said, Hay Thats OK. What ever, you where always someone to on a different
road than everyone else.
Yes, And I built some of those roads.
We talked for a while and we parted. About a month later, she wrote me to tell of the passing
of a mutual friend. Nothing was said about me wearing a bra.
Rader

[Danielle_cder]

maybe he is checking to see if u are wearing a bra?

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

To Rader, it is what it is. At least you're still in contact and she hasn't brushed you away. I think our generation "might", and that's a big might, be coming around to accept almost anything with all of the media conditioning. Who knows?

To the OP, depending on the whole situation, you might want to tell the individual that you feel uncomfortable with him doing that. Do it with a smile and politeness. Or tell him you have a sore spot from an old injury? The best I can say now is to see what happens. Hopefully it'll have a happy ending.

Cheryl

[Daryl]

I wear mine all the time. That's why I like loose fitting shirts over my tee's or tank top's. If some one would grab me by the shoulder they would
still feel my strap.

[JohnH]

I wear a bra all the time in public to support my natural breasts. I have NEVER had anybody try to feel around to see if I am wearing a bra.

John

[Tracii G]

I have had a few hugs from women I know and they just smile but never say anything.

[ME2.0]

What I would do is: I would wait for a couple weeks to start wearing the bra. In the meantime, hang around your friend. When he pats you on the back, just stand up straight and say "Dude, a little personal space here..." Or "Why do you always gotta be touching me, it creeps me out!" Say this a few times, and he won't be patting your back anymore, and then you can wear what you want.

Hugs,
Staci

[Jana]

You already answered your own question: big girl panties it is.

[Chickhe]

You are asking the wrong question... It should be, are you prepared to show it to other people and not care what they think? Then go ahead...if you are not prepared to have people know, then don't.

[Beverley Sims]

If you dont care about other peoples feelings, wear it.
If you do, don't.

[Sara Jessica]

If you aren't prepared to own it, don't wear a bra.

[mikiSJ]

You could try wearing a sports bra with a very wide band and when your bud feels you up, just tell him it is a back brace. Maybe then he stop with the bro pats.

You might also ask him why he needs to always touch you when you meet - that might stop him right there!

[Angela Campbell]

If you are not ready for others to know you are wearing a bra then do not wear one outside of the house. If you are wearing one the chances are very high someone will notice it without even touching you. It is pretty easy to tell even with a baggy shirt on.

[Deona_Anne]

I have worn a bra to work and many times out in public. I have worn shirts that are intentionally female and my male t-shirts, with a jacket over it. I have been out in a bra with my hoodie pulled over. And I can tell you this, with the exception of work (this is where I end up wearing a t-shirt and a dress shirt that is thick) I have gotten some looks. You will generally forget you are wearing a bra when you are running around shopping or doing your errands, but you will get some smiles and some peculiar looks if you are walking proud.

My best had to be at Wal Mart. I was walking around, grabbing what I needed and had a pair of panties dangling from the hanger. It took a while to register, in my lil mind, why these females were giving me the cutest of smiles and courtesy. They, from what I determined, had pretty much figured I was out in public being proud of who I was. "Yes" I forgot I was wearing the bra and when I looked down, you could see a little bit of it showing through the heavy pull over sweatshirt.

People at work have touched my shoulder, but nobody has every made a comment. If you are really worried, then try one of the tops that have the in-visa lines. I bought one from Target and where that on occasion, and you really cannot tell it is there unless somebody starts groping you.

[Andromeda]

You might want to consider going to one of the powers that be and reporting this conduct. In any company that I ever worked in this type of conduct would have been out of bounds. At the very least the next time this is done you must tell this person to cease and desist or you will report him.

[Monique53]

I agree with almostalady about people being able to notice you wearing a bra even without touching you. You can check yourself out, and think that the bra is invisible and then when you are in a different lighting situation, the bra is totally obvious. Even under thick clothes, the way we all normally move and turn can expose the outline of a strap or the band. Go to the mall and watch women, as they shop, and rarely are there no telltale signs of their bra.

Monique

[Cynthia Anne]

My answer has always been the same! If you don't like the bra that I'm wearing then you buy me another one! End of subject!!!

[ossian]

So here is a twist. What if the other guy is a cross dresser and he/she is wearing a bra and wants to know who else is wearing one?

[k lynn]

I have worn a bra daily for years now there is no way to totally hide it I have been caught a few times but being almost 49 I dont care any more wear your bra with pride

[Annaliese2010]

There's different types of bra's now where you wouldn't even see, much less feel the back strap as you would with standard bra's. They're seemless, really comfy, inexpensive and come in different sizes depending on your breasts.

203708

[Courtney . J]

There's different types of bra's now where you wouldn't even see, much less feel the back strap as you would with standard bra's. They're seemless, really comfy, inexpensive and come in different sizes depending on your breasts.

203708

this was the style of my first bra ,. she also forgot to mention that they are very very addictive ! be carefull ;-)

[stephNE]

I frequently underdress. One day I had a long meeting to go to, maybe I had a five minute part of about a 4 hour meeting. I knew I would be in a sport coat all day, so I decided to wear a bra. After I spoke, one of the owners we were presenting to, came over, thanked me a shook my hand. As a turned to walk away he patted me on the back, but he sort of held his had there a little longer that what you would expect. I'm pretty sure he could feel my bra. He didn't say any thing, just sort of had a funny smile.

[Gerrijerry]

you already know if you wear a bra someone will figure it out sooner or later. So make up your mind do you really want to wear one to be who you really are and deal with it.

[joan47]

I Have worn a padded or unpadded bra every day for the past five years, usually with loose feminine style t- shirts or shirts,Idon't care of anyone notces

[tiffanythecd2001]

Or you could always say you had chest surgery and need the support for up front , but if your wearing a bra then you have to get used to it and just accept it and go on with life

[cdliz15]

Before you start wearing the bra, you should tell the guy (politely and non confrontational) that you don't care for pats on the back and he should stop.

[Jolene]

If you are not ready for others to know you are wearing a bra then do not wear one outside of the house. If you are wearing one the chances are very high someone will notice it without even touching you. It is pretty easy to tell even with a baggy shirt on.

In my world someone would notice and my life is so much easier not having to explain, although sometimes I do wear a bra out and about, but usually in colder weather. Layers do help and the bra feeling is still there. :)

[Eryn]

Or you could always say you had chest surgery and need the support for up front , but if your wearing a bra then you have to get used to it and just accept it and go on with life

There are people who wear garments and devices for various medical reasons, but nobody should feel obligated to explain them to anyone. If someone were so impolite as to ask about any of them one should say "I'm sorry, but you're prying into a private medical matter that I do not wish to discuss."

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Spot on answer Eryn! It's no one's business.

I'd like to add something I learned in Human Resources training and harassment. When an employee feels harassed or is touched in uncomfortable ways, the usual steps to take are as follows:

First time it happens----the response is, "Please don't do or say that because I feel offended." (Or similar words.) Nip it in the bud otherwise you're condoning the action.

Second time----"I told you on (date) that I feel offended or uncomortable when you say or do that. If it continues, I'll have to report it, even though I DO NOT want to because I don't want to cause problems for you."

Third time, report it to HR. They will necessarily have to follow up and speak with the person with possible disciplinary action. Be sure to document including dates and times. Choose your words carefully and politely in the beginning.

I'm offering this in the context of the workplace but the dialogue can be adapted to almost any other situation.

Cheryl