Going crazy here!!!

[Alexis.j]

Over the last few weeks I have noticed myself getting more depressed and keeping to myself, I don't really go out or socialize much, I go to work, come home, eat, ly in bed and go sleep, weekendd are much the same. Occasionally I go shopping or go eat out, but I have no desire to see friends or socialis.
I feel as if my head is going to explode from all my emotions building up! Its at the point where Alexis needs to come out, im just scared as hell, as there are family members that I dont think will take it well.
Im going crazy here!!!!

[Juliea661]

I'm so sorry you are going through that Alexis... Been through it myself, and it is very stressful. Being an engineer myself, maybe you need to find a way to turn off that logical thinking brain a little at times. I've found meditation to be very soothing for me over the years. It helps to push out the noise and center yourself (your whole self).
Mark Twain quote: I'm an old man with many worries, fortunately most of them never came true." So...., so perhaps your family members might be more accepting then you imagine. If you haven't alread felt them out, perhaps you could gage acceptance by just making some passing comments about CDing, etc.
Sending you nothing but good wishes!
Hugs, jules

[Alexis.j]

Tnx Jules, mmm, tried the 10, 000volt direct to the brain... didn't help... just smeld something burning......
Jokes aside, I have always thought that they would be understanding, but over the last few months I have actually tried feeling them out, and the outcome is not to positive. At the end of the day something must happen, and lexi must come out, she is driving me nuts. I do express myself a bit ( light makup skirts around home, nail polish etc) but everyone thinks its me expressing my individualism. Haha ( was my excuse in the beginning when I was still in denial)

[Erica Marie]

Hon I know what you are going through. Im pretty much choking in Pink Fog myself here for the last few months. I dont get the privacy at home to dress and for the most part am still in the closet. Is there a possibility that maybe you could take a weekend getaway. Grab you stuff and head out of town. It would give you a chance to dress where no one would know you. Even if you dont leave the motel room it would give you time to just be you. Just a thought either way, take a step back, take a deep breathe and remember you have all of us here in the forum as a support team.

[Alice Torn]

It must be in the air now! I just came off an emotionally hellish week. Like you, i have felt around, and found my dad, brothers and sister, to be very condemning of LGBT, so i will not come out to them, or any people i know, in this red neck area. I went fishing, and did not get any fish, but prayed, and cried out, to God as I understand God, with all my being, then laid down for a long time in the grass. You would like to be able to go outside dressed up as Alexis. I feel that way, too, but, like Erica, said, if you are able to, maybe get away for a day, or night. This is not always easy, due, to finances, though. I have had to reaqlize, thaqt i am a man, with a lady side to me, and because of the real world, simply cannot, go out much.

[slamddoger]

why do you feel that way

[docrobbysherry]

Alexis, there r times when we feel the need to discuss our issues with someone before we explode!

U could find a knowledgeable, experienced therapist to help u with your issues. Or, u could simply visit this site a lot. Nearly everyone here understands what you're experiencing. If the forum is too slow and/or unresponsive for u, chat directly with some of the girls here individually.

U may just need to sound off to folks who understand to feel better.

[Alexis.j]

Wow, thanks for all of your support! I appreciate it tremendously. ..
I have actually spoken/came out to a close family friend this eevning, she seems sort of understanding.
She actually also suggested counciling or someone that understands to speak to.

[Beverley Sims]

If you keep discussing it here it will ease the pain and you fill not feel alone and frustrated.
There are a lot of us in the same lifeboat and we all want to help.