If you’re a HAPPY crossdresser...

[Frédérique]

There’s not much to post about around here, is there? It seems to be all about breastforms, SO’s, therapists, and depression. What’s a boy/girl to do? Let’s see...

I'll start with breastforms, or breast forms, as my word processor insists on seeing it. I have some forms, but they aren’t the focus of my existence. I’m not wearing any right now. It’s HOT, and I’m trying to stay cool. Besides, tornados are coming – do I have to be shapely when the time comes? Being a boy, I like breasts, and it can be thrilling to approximate them in my femme presentation, but let’s not go overboard. I did dream about breasts last night, but not forms...

SO’s? I don’t have one, unless you can call my sister a significant other. She’s all I have at present, and I’m all that she has. We live at the tip of a branch of our family tree, and we are both sawing it off even as I’m typing this. She knows I dress, and she’s seen my stuff – she’s even read a few of my writings here at the crossdresser oasis, and she knows what it’s all about. We are mutually supportive, but we give each other plenty of space. I am free to be ME upstairs in the house we share (and own together), but we are merely siblings, thrown together by unforeseen circumstances. BTW, my sister, although on the same wavelength as her odd brother, is nonetheless uneasy about having a crossdresser in her midst, but she doesn’t poke into my affairs at all, i.e. nothing for me to write about...

As for therapists, I have no use for them, and I detest the word therapy. I was forced to undergo therapy for a speech disorder years ago, and this traumatized me into isolation. Oh, the people, mainly women, knew what they were doing, and my “problem” was easily identifiable, but the whole process made me feel defective. When everybody treated me as an equal, with no hint of therapy in the offing, I did OK, and I eventually emerged from my shell. In my mind, there is no need for therapists, and I have never encountered, nor wanted, a therapist to “help” my crossdressing “problem.” I love to crossdress, and it’s not a problem, any more than enjoying ice cream is a problem. Besides, I don’t trust so-called experts on crossdressing. People who think they’re part of the solution are often part of the problem, and that problem is intolerance...

I don’t get depressed. It’s not in my make-up. I have plenty to be depressed about, but I seem to see only good things, or possibilities, in the darkest of times. Oh, I can get a little depressed now and then, maybe for 5 minutes or so, but it quickly passes, and then I return to my ebullient self. The fact that I keep posting on this site is proof I don’t get too “down” about things. Others feel I live a charmed life, but this is how I want it to be, and life is what you make it. Depression has been woven into my life via contact with others. I had a girlfriend who suffered with depression, and, since part of my family history includes depression, I’ve come to see it as natural, or at least inevitable. However, depression is not part and parcel of my need (or urge) to crossdress. Quite the opposite, I’m here to say, and if I don’t have the opportunity to crossdress, I don’t get depressed about it. It WILL happen, and, in any event, I like to delay pleasure...

In my mind, crossdressing should be a happy thing, with personal happiness in mind, and not a sad, depressive thing that sends one scurrying to the nearest therapist. If you have a SO, and she doesn’t like what you’re doing, do it anyway – perhaps she is open to compromise. I know, it’s a hard thing to explain, especially when you’re wearing breastforms, but smiling will help...

Are you a HAPPY crossdresser? :):D

This was written very quickly, as I nervously scanned the Kansas skies for approaching tornados, so don’t take it too seriously, OK? :worried:

[Jaylyn]

I am one happy, happy, happy, cross dresser. I enjoy it and it has become a time when my wife and I can do things feminine together. Just last night we painted each others toes and giggled like silly gals. It could be depressing I guess if a tornado was coming guess I'd be getting the polish off in a hurry.... Nah think ill just leave it on. Would give every one something to talk about when I'm gone. Fredreique my thinking in life is just lighten up, enjoy what we have, and always give thanks for the small things in life. Family, friends, good times are what life is all about but remember to thank the right person up stairs for who we are. God loves us all. ....Jaylyn

[Wildaboutheels]

Not sure if HAPPY is the most accurate choice of words...

What I can tell you is that I am not tortured by it, or feel guilty or ashamed in any way. Never have been. Or NEED to tell anyone. Or NEED to "share it" with anyone. Or NEED anyone or everyone to approve. I don't NEED to pass. Or TRY to pass. I am not taking any meds because of it. I don't lose any sleep over "it". I don't wish I could remove any body parts.

I imagine I am typical of the vast majority of CDers, just maybe not many of the Forum dinos that water here regularly.

[franlee]

Freddy, you have eloquently stated the truth and obvious! All this is what we make of it, we look at all the post that relate fear and rejection and it seems so depressing. It is if we let life's circumstances tear us down and don't get up and move on. I have so often stated to the others on here that I am just a CDer nothing more and that makes me happy. I choose to do this years ago and have learned to not only enjoy it but endear it as a positive for health and sanity. LOL If something or someone in life is causing you trouble and you can't work with it or find a happy compromise the simple and best answer is to discard of remove this obstacle, completely. It really don't take a lot of effort to be happy if you want to. It seem to me it is all the extras that we seem to want that causes the problems. Acceptance by others is not relevant or even necessary for my well being, it's just icing on the cake. And if we need this it is a personal problem to work out not theirs or visa-versa. Either way I am going to live and enjoy the gifts God has allowed me.

So to shorten this down, I agree with you 100%! Thanks for the food for thought.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes,
I would be very aware of the tornadoes considering what has just been through Moore OK.

[MsRenee]

Ive just gotten to the point in my life that I dont stress iver anything anymore.
Dressing has helped me immense on that, but also have a very supportive girl by my side helps alot. plus I realy do enjoy my job these days as its not stressful at all and the ppl that I deal with everyday are always in a good mood.
Thats helps put the smile on my face all the time and it makes everyone else smike back.
Hugs
Renee

[NicoleScott]

As for therapists, I have no use for them, and I detest the word therapy.

I agree. People undergo therapy to repair or restore something that's not as it should be or has been. Physical therapy to restore muscle strength after an injury, for example. Here, folks insist that crossdressing is a normal, natural thing for them to do, then seek therapy for dealing with it. Huh? What is it that crossdressers seek therapy for? What's WRONG?
I prefer counseling, but recognize there may be a difference, technically speaking. Who wouldn't benefit from talking out what's on the mind with someone without a dog in the hunt personally but with some experience getting people to see things objectively?
Am I happy? Generally, yes. Crossdressing is just one small aspect of life for me (obviously not for others). Life isn't always happy, but that's life.

[Amy Fakley]

I'm as happy as can be expected, LOL. :-)

Look seriously ... I get what you're saying, but the reality of this crossdressing/non-gender-normative situation that we all have going on here, is that it is orthogonal to the shape of the world we live in. When the edges of who we are don't fit into the world nicely, that can cause some bad vibes. There are far worse ways of handling that than going to talk about it with someone who is educated in the field. We are not the first humans to walk this path in the history of the world, and we won't be the last either. You can benefit from the knowledge of others, that is not a weakness.

If you wanna be all Klingon about it and be like "I shall walk this path of sorrow an pain only on my own two feet" or whatever ... you know ... cool .. if that works for you.

But yeah ... we do tend to dwell on either the color of our panties or the depths of our misery on this board, and I suppose that's because in both situations it's nice to chat with people about it, because it makes us feel good. :-)

Overall I've got to say, I'm pretty happy with my life as-is right now!

[AllieSF]

I am a happy Transgender and a happy Crossdresser. Both the same to me.

[Vanessa5]

I too am a happy crossdresser! I have made the decision to not let my wife or anyone else bring me down any more. I am going to wear what I want (within reason).

[Miriam-J]

Having crossdressing in my life has been a very positive experience, and I've tried to let that be reflected in all my posts. But I have found that negative posts and whining get a good deal more attention here than positive statements. Sure'd be nice if it were the other way around, but the humans amongst us seem to have more negative interests.

Miriam

[~Joanne~]

Are you a HAPPY crossdresser?

Some days I am, some days I am not. Today is an "not" kind of day which follows a "not" kind of yesterday, which I hope doesn't lead into a "not " kinda tomorrow. I have had this "itch" lately to go out. I have wanted to dress and go "some where" to take some pictures and just enjoy the day but it seems near impossible. Then there are days when I am really happy and not much matters.

[ShelbyDawn]

Happy? I am now and it was a wonderful therapist that helped me figure that out.
I don't have to prove anythng to anyone and I am not hurting anyone, so it is absolutley OK for me to enjoy dressing which I do emmensly.

Happy is a choice.

Shelby

PS.
Since mfakley mentioned it first... I wonder if Klingons crossdress? :) ( I saw Star Trek again last night with my sons and was actually wondering this)

[Cindy M]

Well written my friend. Once again... you have hit home. I'm happy but beyond crossdressing.. steadily riding down the middle of the road and easing towards the other side slowly but surely. With each passing day, dressing feels more natural and is a blissful release. Blessed with a wonderfully accepting and supportive wife... we've drawn closer as I cross into her world and we enjoy the girly things in life.

Keep an eye on the weather and stay safe my friend!

Cindy

[Tracii G]

Freddy you nailed it when you said "life is what you make it" that is so true.
I have plenty to be depressed about but whats the use?
Complain about how rough life is and nobody understands you? I don't get it to be honest if life is so bad then get off your butt and do something about it.
You control your own destiny and yes hardships will pass your way but don't let it get you down.Keep your head up and trudge along.

[drushin703]

I'm a naturally happy crossdresser-person-***-sissyboy, and I added the ***-sissyboy because that's what my unhappy
neighbor likes to refer to me as, which I never get down or depressed about. Detroit can be a downer most of the time but
there's some fairly happy people here, this pantyhose wearer being one of them. I rode the bus today, going to pick up my
stressed out Honda Accord from the radiator shop, sat next to a Muslem girl and immediated asked 'how she was doing'/
just some informal small-talk I think appropriate when sitting next to strangers. She didn't speak which I quickly blamed
on crossculturalism (is that a word?) or the fact that I couldn't fully remove the pink stain from that Revlon, colorstay lipstick
I had on last night. I think being a crossdresser ostensibly means not actually what apperance indicates. I mean, a grown
man, dressing as a girl, and a young girl half his age? REALLY! But like most ecstasy.......it's really hard to explain the joy.

Keep posting my friend.
dana

[kimdl93]

Personally, is an F5 is bearing down on my home, I probably won't worry about how I'm dressed. I may be TG but I hope to remain a living TG. I am pretty happy with my life, but it wasn't always so. I won't bore everyone here with another rendition of my life coming to understand and coming to terms with being TG. Suffice to say that I'm much more self aware and much happier now that I've accepted, and enjoy, the person that I am.

Which brings me to therapy. I've seen it dismissed as a waste of time or worse, often by individuals who didn't get what they hoped as a result. But for someone like me, therapy was a crucial step towards self acceptance and happiness.

[PaulaQ]

[COLOR="black"]There’s not much to post about around here, is there? It seems to be all about breastforms, SO’s, therapists, and depression. What’s a boy/girl to do? Let’s see...


Yes, you have a point. I'm sorry, I probably contribute to this - my posts always make me seem like I'm such a sad-sack. I just write about what's happening to me, good or bad. I'll try to have funner stuff to post - hopefully going to go out with a group of girls wednesday night. :)

Good luck with the Storms Frederique. They hit OKC really hard. They've mostly passed me by at this point.

[marlenesexton]

[COLOR="black"]I don’t get depressed. It’s not in my make-up. I have plenty to be depressed about, but I seem to see only good things, or possibilities, in the darkest of times. Oh, I can get a little depressed now and then, maybe for 5 minutes or so, but it quickly passes, and then I return to my ebullient self. The fact that I keep posting on this site is proof I don’t get too “down” about things. Others feel I live a charmed life, but this is how I want it to be, and life is what you make it. Depression has been woven into my life via contact with others. I had a girlfriend who suffered with depression, and, since part of my family history includes depression, I’ve come to see it as natural, or at least inevitable. However, depression is not part and parcel of my need (or urge) to crossdress. Quite the opposite, I’m here to say, and if I don’t have the opportunity to crossdress, I don’t get depressed about it. It WILL happen, and, in any event, I like to delay pleasure...

You've got something there. It seems the people that have the most to be depressed about rarely are and those that seemingly have it all are the ones in therapy. I tend not to get depressed and I've never much worried about my sexuality or my gender confusion, though it's not too confusing. I like women, whether they are natural, trans or part-time. I sometimes want to be a woman, or at least play one for a while, even though most of the time I'm a pretty regular guy that does guy things and thinks guy thoughts. I've always just accepted it. I told my wife before we got married. I surprised her when I showed her my lingerie. She surprised me by suggesting we get a strap on before I'd told her I enjoyed that sort of thing.

I've noticed, not here necessarily, that many crossdressers aren't comfortable with it, have absolute shrews for wives or they unfortunately see them that way so are in hiding and are severely depressed. I used to chat with several and each was in the closet, desperate to escape and their SO's didn't know. It became tiresome to act as their therapist and listen to them talk about clothes and going out one minute and how horrible their lives were the next. I just never felt that way. So yeah, I guess I'm a happy crossdresser.

[TeresaCD]

Yep, embracing this part of me is overall a happy, fulfilling experience.
Although at times I think I am kidding myself, and am frustrated at the difference between the woman in my head, and the one in the mirror..
Thanks for sharing of yourself, Frederique - it's wonderful to hear someone else's experience of life :battingeyelashes:

[Cynthia Anne]

For me to say that I'm a happy cross dresser is rather hard! I really feel I would be happier one way or the other! Preferably I would rather be the ''other''!

[Juliea661]

Fredreique, thank you for such a thoughful and well written posting! I tend to agree pretty much with all you expressed.
But first, I hope that all is well with your and your sister with regard to the storms...
Happy? Yes, very! Actually I feel blessed many times with being able to acknowlege, accept, and honor my female side. Yes, often i let my fear stop me form going out and letting Jules more fully express herself, but it is less and less. Day by day, week by week Jules is growing and maturing as a beautiful, thoughtful, fun, and loving woman.
hugs, Jules

[Kalista Jameson]

I've never been happier or more at peace with myself since running into and not away from my crossdressing habits. The burden has been lifted, a burden I took on partly from my own efforts. I'm out to a few closest friends and family and it is freedom.

Cheers,

Kalista

[irishsissy]

Happy,, Oh yes, Very happy, When I,m dressed I have no worries in the world. There are no words to describe how I feel when I,m Cindy. When my SO found out she said maybe you should go to theropy. I replied ,, what the h### for. I must of been born with these genes. I don,t let anyone get me down anymore. As these years are flying bye I,m not wasting a single moment I can be ,, Cindy ,, So, Big Hugs for You, Cindy

[Lucy_Bella]

Am I "Happy Crossdresser"????? Let me break this down a bit, yes I am happy but not because of the cding ..I am happy everyday my feet touch the ground in the mornings ,I am happy for all the people I have in my life and I am happy for all the good fortune I've had..But does cding make me happy? No...Yes it brings me pleasure ,I enjoy the experience it takes the edge off of the down sides of life ..But it doesn't make me happy doing it..

I would be a much happier person without it..

[Stephanie47]

Today was not as a happy day as it could have been. Someone outbid me on eBay for a slip I had my eye on. Oh well, what's a girl to do. But, I did make the best of it. I sat outside reading the morning newspaper and sipping coffee while dressed in a very nice summery maxi dress, black with a floral pattern. And, wearing a very nice Velrose long black slip over a lacy black bra, black panty, black garter girdle, black stockings and black heels. So, the day balanced out.

Tomorrow may be a happier day. I have my eye on a very nice black slip. I really do not need another black slip, but, it makes me happy to bid and win such fine garments.

Yes Freddie, there is way too much gloom and doom on this site sometimes. When that happens I head over to another website that has very attractively dressed and made up cross dressers with wide smiles. Yes, it is refreshing.

[Ceri Anne]

Good to hear from you again Fredrique! I haven't seen you post in a while. I'm down in Wichita tonight and tomorrow, so keeping my eye on the skies as well. I really like what you wrote. Yes, there can be anguish brought on by our relationships with others and our crossdressing, but I think most of us get a lot of enjoyment and relaxation from dressing. I consider myself a happy crossdresser. I do go thru periods of nervousness sometimes, but I'm usually pretty bold.

It would be awesome to have real breasts, but since I have to present male in my job, and am in the closet at home, I have to settle for temporary ones. As a female, at times I present without forms. I have a natural A + cup, so with some slinky dresses I can get by, but generally, they enhance my self image and feelings of being female. I think what makes me feel the best though is having a smooth body, and a long wig, I love the hair draping across my shoulders. Natural fem hair is not a very good possibility for me, not bald, but thin enough it would be difficult.

[happy2cd]

I am HAPPY when I CD. Being in a relationship means that I have to negotiate another person's sensabilities to get to do what makes me happy.

All in all I am mostly happy, but could be happier if there were more opportunity to CD.

[Georgina]

Happy is good. I am happy at work and happy at home and when I CD. I used to worry about various things, but I wasn't good at it, so I gave it up.

[Frédérique]

I wrote the OP on the 19th, sat on it, but finally submitted it on the 20th. I figure if there’s nothing to write about I’ll write about the fact that there’s nothing to write about – I think this is called “grasping at straws.” The threads seem to form into thematic clumps from time to time…


I imagine I am typical of the vast majority of CDers, just maybe not many of the Forum dinos that water here regularly.

Yup. I’m guessing there must be a lot of happy crossdressers out there, and, unless someone is at odds with your femme self, or is insisting you DO something about your alleged problem, or your crossdressing is weighing you down (mentally), or you’re having a bad breastform day, there’s not much to talk (or write) about, is there? Whew! Long sentence, Freddy…
:doh:


Personally, is an F5 is bearing down on my home, I probably won't worry about how I'm dressed.

So far, so good in my little part of the prairie, but I get very nervous when conditions get just-so. Last year we had a close call, and crossdressing be damned! I distinctly recall wondering what to save, or what to do, or when we should descend to the shelter in the basement, but we lucked out. Right now I can hear the children joyfully playing next door, the purple iris is in bloom, and my sister and I are getting ready to enjoy a nice lunch together. I can count many blessings, thankfully…
:)

BTW, when I submitted the OP we had just endured two nerve-wracking days of tornado watches and warnings. I only became aware of the Moore, OK event on Monday evening…
:o


I haven't seen you post in a while.

Truth be told, I'm a little shy about posting these days...:o

[Abbygirl]

Yes, I am happy!!! I'm lucky not to have the feelings of guilt, shame or remorse about my girlish ways that seem so commonplace around here (well OK, actually I do sometimes feel a bit guilty about the big MONEY I've spent on girly things over the years, and I also deter people from coming to my house for fear of them discovering THE GIRL ROOM- I don't like having to be that way).

About the worst I can say is that I am probably a little too worried about what other people think (mostly guys), but I'm OK with that and I still push the boundaries every chance I get.

[Ozark]

"Life's been good to me but I had to work at it for a while."

I just turned 64 and I'm losing my hair. ;)

[amander-]

I have been dressing as a women for 4 years full time and it has been the best think i have dun in my life and if some one seed to me you have to go back and dress as a man i wood go and say no way i do not what to go back to that bad life i have a new life and i do not no why i did not do it be for i did. One thing to say is it is the best thing in my life.

[andrea lace]

Happy enough no need for therapy here. I have just learned to accept this part of my life and enjoy it.

[Krististeph]

You don't get depressed?

Well, that's not normal! We need to get you on some meds so you can be depressed, then we can get you on some more meds to cure that normal depression. ;-)

As usual, I agree with what you say- in purple no less...

However i do get depressed, i suppose, or maybe it's just sadness or tiredness. I've been happier after finishing some of my classes- i have a few more hurdles to get over, but not as bad.

I'm definitely happier when I can dress, a key point is 'when i can'- i do not necessarily need to dress, or dress up fully. But after a day of lumberjacking (serious- i'm digging out stumps and sectioning tree trunks), it feels good to toss on some short-shorts and do a couple of laps (~25 miles) on the bike and then dive into a soapy tub and wash and shave all the dirt and whiskers off.

I could use a good en-femme road trip though!

[Jaymees22]

I'm always happy when I'm dressed! Some days are happier than others. I think a bad day crossdressing is always much better than any day when I don't. Jaymee

[RebeccaLynne]

There’s not much to post about around here, is there? It seems to be all about breastforms, SO’s, therapists, and depression. What’s a boy/girl to do? Let’s see...

I'm a very happy crossdresser, and I feel strongly that this forum has been a godsend for me. Just knowing that there are so many others that delight in the trappings of femininity, i.e., CLOTHES, MAKEUP, and SHOES... without guilt or misgivings about their penchant for same... makes me more than happy; in fact, positively ecstatic! :D

Taken in order:

1. Breastforms are a gurl's best friends. The clothing of our choice wouldn't fit properly without 'em. Why wear a brassiere without anything to fill it?

2. My SO is incredibly important to me. She's my confidant and stabilizing influence. Being alone in life is so isolating, and although she's uncomfortable with my CD'ing, she knows it's a part of who I am. I generally CD at home, or "in house", as I refer to it, yet we've spent time together with me dressed en femme. If she wasn't accepting of my gender-presentation fluidity, we wouldn't still be together for the last six years. Seems most of us here are in a relationship, so it's only natural that we'd like to share about what transpires within it.

Frederique, I wouldn't identify your sister as an "SO", anymore than you would. She is your sibling. Although she's significant in your life, I personally wouldn't classify a blood relative as a "significant other".

Might your life be positively influenced by inviting someone in to share it with? Just inquiring as to whether you've considered the possibilities of a relationship enhancing your enjoyment of life... I realize it takes work, but IMO it's worth it.

3. Therapists and counseling can prove beneficial for many, although I've never felt the need. I know who I am, and I'm not seeking validation or approval for my actions. As stated previously, I'm a very happy crossdresser!

4. Depression. I thankfully don't suffer from it. I have my good days and my less-than-good days. Yet all of them are God's gift to me, and I relish every one.

Everyday spent above ground is a good one, I believe.

Thanks for a thought-provoking thread, Frederique. People such as yourself keep me coming here whenever I'm CD'ing. :love:

[Frédérique]

Therapists and counseling can prove beneficial for many, although I've never felt the need.

You know, counseling always sounds to me like we’re going to go see a lawyer...:doh:


People such as yourself keep me coming here whenever I'm CD'ing.

Thanks (and thanks for the flowers)! You have inspired me to keep writing, which will no doubt fill my numerous detractors with dread…:heehee:

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I know I'm a very happy crossdresser. First I have a very loving wife who is very accepting oof Felicity and we have a friend whom I'll call Randy who knows and is very accepting also. Until recently they were the only two who knew. A year ago Randy met a woman whom I'll call kate and is very nice but when Randywould bring her over I could not get dolled up as Felicity. A few weeks ago Randy told me he and Kate were talking and the subject of M to F crossdressers came up somehow and Kate told him how she liked CDers and seen quite a few who look as good if not better than some GG's. Randy asked for my permission to tell Kate about Felicity if I was comfortable with him doing so. I thought about for a minute and told him ok go ahead why not. He said ok and he'll call me and let me know how it went. A few days later Randy called me and told Kate was very cool with it and asked could they come over later that day since Kate want to meet Felicity. i said ok but give me a few hours to get ready and he said ok they'll be on their way. I put on my make up and since it was a nice day put on my light blue spaghetti strap cami top and denim mini skirt which show off my nice long legs with bracelets and necklace and wore my long curly blonde wig. I admit I was a little nervous while I was waiting for them but remain calm and confident. When they arrived I opened the door and Randy stepped in while Kate waited on the porch. Randy said I looked great and was I ready for Kate to come in. I said yes and when Kate came in I sain " Hi Kate I'm Felicity P**l's female alter ego its nice to meet you" Kate said How hot I looked and look just as good as a real woman (her words) she hugged me and told me she thinks it great I can explore my female side. We sat and we talked and told her my whole story and so on and she confided in that she is bisexual and like women and CD's just as much as men and Randy is fine with it. Anyway we BBqed and drank and had a great time. It was great to finally have another person especially a GG know about Felicity and that makes me a very happy crossdresser.


Felicity

[Kathi Lake]

Are you a HAPPY crossdresser?Well, I'm a happy person that just happens to be a crossdresser. Does that count? :)

I don't really define myself by something I do. Some would argue that what we do is what we are. Me? I . . . well, I'm kind of non-confrontational, and I don't like to argue. So there you go!

Breastforms? Sure! I think they're awesome. Like Freddy, I have a guy's fascination with breasts. Seeing them on my chest? Yup. Still cool. :)

As for therapists, I agree with Freddy. I have nothing in my life that I need therapy for. I'd rather spend the money on something cute for my wife or daughter (or, maybe even me).

Depression? What's that? I see depression as a symptom of thinking too much, and I've never been accused of that.

So, am I a happy crossdresser? Ummmm, sure! Why not?

:)

Kathi