From tolerance to acceptance...

[Deedee Skyblue]

Since I joined this forum I've learned a lot about the difference between tolerance and acceptance. I've always been 'tolerant' - I'm not one to comment negatively on someone because that someone is different, or just because I disapprove of some behavior (unless it is illegal or causes pain to someone else - hard to keep quiet about those). But I haven't really always been 'accepting'.

But I'm learning better. There is no such thing as 'normal' and nobody deserves to be 'tolerated' but not 'accepted' for being different than the theoretical normal. In the last 3 days, I have complimented a couple of people for things I would never have believed I'd accept, a year ago.

I'm still learning... there are still some things I don't want to, but they don't hurt me. One of the good things about the internet is, if you don't like something, you don't have to look at it - there is lots of other stuff to look at. I am amazed at how many people join a discussion forum (not this one, btw) and then complain about the forum all the time. Go somewhere else! Well, for me, here is the somewhere else.

Deedee

[barbaraclothes]

well put Deedee, couldn t agree more.

[Beverley Sims]

Once you get past toleration, acceptance is easy.

[luca]

I like to think that I am accepting of a lot of people, particularly because I had to learn to accept my family, but the more I am learning about what I want the more I see that I hardly tolerate who I am (let alone accept myself). This makes exploring my needs so hard for both me and my SO since I can hardly voice my wants or needs, almost as if I am waiting for permission before I even try and ask anything. I just joined the site because I saw what good these conversations were doing for my SO and I wanted to find a way to accept who I am and learn how to voice what I want or need because of it.

[bridget thronton]

I have a ways to go - but I have become much more accepting of people in general than I was 10 years ago

[Rachelakld]

Am I then tolerant and accepting when my 14 year old goes to her BF to play hide the sausage?
While it doesn't hurt anyone (except me).
Am I tolerant when the schools sex ed teacher says it's normal for 13 & 14 year olds to practice sex?
While it still doesn't hurt anyone.
Am I tolerant when schools take young girls to the abortion clinic (without telling the girls parents)?
Ok they kill our grandchilren, but they are not considered "technically alive"
Am I tolerant and accepting when a member of 1 religion stands on a street corner as says they should kill Christians?
While they still haven't actually hurt anyone.
Drunk drivers, boy racers.

I think I still have a long way to go on a lot of issues, and yet when it comes to who we are as a person, I'ld like to think I'm very tolerant and accepting

[Sometimes Steffi]

Hmmm. My wife tolerates my CDing (as in OK, go out CDing and leave me alone on a Saturday night), but doesn't accept it (as in have fun honey, and don't do anything I wouldn't do). And I tolerate her lack of acceptance, and try to accept it. BTW, she has a standing invitation to accompany me, but she's hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.

[Frédérique]

Since I joined this forum I've learned a lot about the difference between tolerance and acceptance. I've always been 'tolerant' - I'm not one to comment negatively on someone because that someone is different, or just because I disapprove of some behavior (unless it is illegal or causes pain to someone else - hard to keep quiet about those). But I haven't really always been 'accepting'.

I can accept tolerance, and I can tolerate acceptance, since it means that I am definitely NOT one of the crowd, i.e. I never had my precious personality modified or replaced with someone else’s precepts. As such, I accept any variance in human existence – skirting the edge, as is my want, I do notice many intrepid “others” who dare to be themselves. Their acceptance is thus assured...
:thumbsup:

[Deedee Skyblue]

Am I then tolerant and accepting when my 14 year old goes to her BF to play hide the sausage?
While it doesn't hurt anyone (except me).
Am I tolerant when the schools sex ed teacher says it's normal for 13 & 14 year olds to practice sex?
While it still doesn't hurt anyone.
Am I tolerant when schools take young girls to the abortion clinic (without telling the girls parents)?
Ok they kill our grandchilren, but they are not considered "technically alive"
Am I tolerant and accepting when a member of 1 religion stands on a street corner as says they should kill Christians?
While they still haven't actually hurt anyone.
Drunk drivers, boy racers.

I think I still have a long way to go on a lot of issues, and yet when it comes to who we are as a person, I'd like to think I'm very tolerant and accepting

Hold on. ALL of those things you mention DO hurt someone. I wish we didn't have to tolerate ANY of those things. I'm talking about things like, wearing women's clothes, consenting adults choosing sexual partners that are not who I would choose, tats, etc.

Deedee :in many ways still very conservative:

[TeresaCD]

I like to hope I can accept people for who they are, regardless.
But in reality, some I tolerate, because I am human.
Like Rachel said, too - some things I find behaviour and attitudes unacceptable
I agree with what you said, too: that you can vote with your feet, and not engage if it troubles you