Help need advice !

[Jessica j]

Just a few days ago I came out to my wife of 10 years about my cd. I was very surprised to learn she would completely support me with my cd. She decided we would take it one day at a time and that she may need some time to adjust and feel more comfortable with it how ever she has purchased a new bra,nail polish and other items. She told me there was nothing to worry about and to just be myself and that she was happy I told her.so I have dressed in front of her and she has had nothing bet good to say.
So my question for you girls is
What advice can you give me so that I don't do something to loose her support?
Thanks
Jessica

[Vickie_CDTV]

Take is slow, and don't overwhelm her. Sometimes, an SO can start out supportive and change her mind quickly if she is overwhelmed, or the dresser gets lost in the pink fog, starts dressing and neglecting her etc.

[Sandra]

Don't let the pink fog in, keep at a pace that she is comfy with, if she asks you to slow down then do so because if you don't then problems is creep in. Keep talking to her and asking her about things, tell her any concerns that she may have she must talk to you about them.

[vikki2020]

:)Consider yourself a lucky girl! And, kudos's to her! She seems to be OK with it, so, I'd let her call the shots,and drive the car. You can't go wrong following her advise. She may surprise you!

[~Joanne~]

Take it very slow. You first instinct is to go hog wild, curb that urge. Do not dress everyday in front of her. Give her the time she needs to adjust as she stated that she will need that time. It's OK to talk about your CDing, and you should, but don't make it every conversation that you have anymore. You have to find a good balance between your femme and drab self, not that they are two separate beings but if you push too soon, too fast, she could reverse on you quickly and you don't want that.

[heatherdress]

Keep being "you".

She fell in love with - you. Just because you CD, always remember she needs you to be - you.

Communicate. This can bring even greater intimacy to your relationship. Share your feelings and understand hers. Express to her how happy this makes you feel and how much you appreciate her support and acceptance.

Have fun together when dressed. Role play, clean the house dressed, do special things for her while dressed, have little gifts for her when you dress, have a card for her when you dress.

Listen to the other good recommendations already posted.

You are fortunate. Congratulations. You must have a great wife.

[kimdl93]

Take it slow, but more important, talk openly, honestly and often!

[Jenniferathome]

You talk with her about HER needs, fears, concerns, frequently and answer question honestly. Right now, it should be all about her. Number one issue is dressing frequency. She needs to set that at her comfort level, not yours. Invite her to set boundaries as that will guarantee you don't lose her support,

[Bree Wagner]

Simple: Listen.

All the other things people have written are spot on too. :)

[AmyGaleRT]

Everything that's been said here is great advice. I'll add just one more thing: always let her know how much you love her and how much you appreciate her supporting you! She's very special and she deserves to know how special she is.

- Amy

[Miriam-J]

You talk with her about HER needs, fears, concerns, frequently and answer question honestly. Right now, it should be all about her. Number one issue is dressing frequency. She needs to set that at her comfort level, not yours. Invite her to set boundaries as that will guarantee you don't lose her support,

Jennifer's right on with this. Also, discover and discuss:
- What parts of your 'man-ness" are most critical to her, and adapt to retain them as much as possible
- Which aspects of your crossdressing signal the real shift from male to female mode for her. You might discover that certain items (e.g., a nightie for me) really don't even hit the radar, whereas other aspects really go over the edge. Once these are determined, manage the amount of time spent with these characteristics
- Which types of crossdressing make her more or less comfortable. Does she prefer just a little when you do it, or perhaps prefer that you go "all the way" if you crossdress (perhaps surprisingly, my wife prefers the latter)

Don't expect to address these issues right away. As Jennifer said, first priority is to attend to her needs, fears, and interests. Lots and lots of discussion about everything that's important to both of you.

Miriam

[CherylFlint]

#1. Never wear anything of hers.
#2. Never use her makeup, not even her comb. Buy your own.
#3. Keep your items completely seperate from hers. I keep mine in the spare bedroom, my makeup is in a case.
#4. Let her be in charge of your outfits if she wants. I'd leave for work early and my wife would pick what she would want me to wear that night.
#5. Put her in charge of plucking your eyebrows.
#6. Have her pick out your wig. Go to a wig store together and let her be in charge, after all, she's the one who will have to look at it. I like very long and we settled on around 13" length so I can wear it in a ponytail if I, she, we want.
#7. Have fun. Take it slow and easy, it'll be worth it.

[marlenesexton]

Be you and be open and honest. You are always you, just in a dress sometimes. Don't hide stuff, even if you think it will erode her support. Better to talk that out, set limits, boundries, etc. than beg forgiveness.

[Beverley Sims]

Jessica,
Others have said it, go slow, and let her ask the questions.
When you answer, do not embellish the answers too much.
That can be a giant turn off.
Keep life interesting by only letting out a bit at a time.

Do not lie!

[andrea lace]

You always get good honest advice on this forum and in the interest of banter and fun here's some things not to do
1. Wear her stuff and tell her it looks better on you
2. Spend the household budget on new clothes and shoes
3 Dress 24/7 and ignore your SO
4 Use all her make up without asking
5 Dress like a girl and act like a red neck and throw your stuff on the floor for her to tidy away
6 start to realize that CDing is all about you and ignore her and her feelings
I am sure there are lots more things that I have left out (and no I do not act like this)

[Cheryl T]

Just be open, honest and sharing. Make her a part of everything and keep no secrets since she is supportive.

[Tina B.]

#1. Never wear anything of hers.
#2. Never use her makeup, not even her comb. Buy your own.
#3. Keep your items completely separate from hers. I keep mine in the spare bedroom, my makeup is in a case.
#4. Let her be in charge of your outfits if she wants. I'd leave for work early and my wife would pick what she would want me to wear that night.
#5. Put her in charge of plucking your eyebrows.
#6. Have her pick out your wig. Go to a wig store together and let her be in charge, after all, she's the one who will have to look at it. I like very long and we settled on around 13" length so I can wear it in a ponytail if I, she, we want.
#7. Have fun. Take it slow and easy, it'll be worth it.


Sorry but I'm going to have to disagree with Cheryl on some of her points.
#1 Always ask before "borrowing" anything of your wives, but with permission it's a fun thing to do.
#2 again ask, my wife and I do share some make up, but not much.
#3 In our home with have it all in the same closet, and at times it would be hard to tell whose stuff is whose
#4 Sorry but I really have trouble with this one, I'm the only one that knows what I feel like wearing, maybe a dress, maybe a skirt, or Capri's, she don't know.
#5 Like all women I do all my own grooming, I would no more ask her to do it and she would not to ask me to do hers.
#6 This one is the same answer as #4
#7 Last but not least, on number 7 we do agree Have fun, enjoy.