Why do GG's most times do not post on picture threads?

[Tara D. Rose]

Hi everyone, just like my thread title says, I wonder why it is for the most part, that GG's do not post on cross dressers picture threads? There are many wonderful and accepting GG's on here and have so much understanding of cd's. They know of how we need validation with our visual representations. I read those testaments on here a lot of times. There may be just a few rare exceptions where a GG will post on some picture post's from CD's, but from my observations, it is very rare on here. I would give my feelings on this, but will refrain, but I just want to ask the question as to why GG's most oftentimes do not reply to the majority of all of the hundreds of pictures that CD's post and looking for validation. I do see it as a fact, why is this?

[TxKimberly]

Hmmmm . . . . would love to have a psychologist reply to this, and we KNOW that there must be at least ONE on this forum!

I would guess that it is at least two things :
1 - As you yourself pointed out, we tend to like validation: "See, I really can be pretty!" This makes us feel better about our female self expression. One would doubt that most GG's would feel this need and so probably aren't terribly interested in our sharing of photos.
2 - I think a significant percentage of "us" probably are attracted to women, and are thus probably far more inclined to look at photos of women and perhaps express an opinion of them. I doubt that most GG's here are interested in looking at photos of women, TG or otherwise, and so are obviously a lot less likely to be commenting on them

[Wildaboutheels]

It seems obvious to me me that most here who post in the Gallery, WANT or NEED to pass?

I don't think it helps ANYone here to for people to climb all over each other to gush "how great you look" or "how you will have no trouble passing". Oh really? Based simply on pictures and maybe not very clear ones at that? Perhaps "pass" while sitting immobile, frozen on a park bench reading a book. Interacting with people, walking, moving and talking are equally important as looks I think not to mention the most important of all, confidence. Can't tell ANY of that simply by looking at pics no matter how good they are.

"They know of how we need validation with our visual representations."

^^^ Yes, but I think most of the GGs here are honest, and don't want to fudge the REALITY of all the things "wrong" they see in pics. They are unwilling to give false praise or false "hope" like so many of the "men" here are.

Not that SOME of the ladies here, don't look outstanding in the pics they post.

The BEST pic threads IMO are ones where the OP asks for HONEST feedback. More likely to see GGs respond to those.

All of this ^^^ is a moot point I believe. Dress or present the best that you can ORRRRRR want/need to and simply treat Joe Doe public "nicely" and it won't matter whether one can actually "pass" as a female or not.

Since NO ONE here is a mind reader [despite countless claims to the contrary] it does not matter what the public thinks does it?

How many here would want strangers to approach them and say " I know you are a man, but you really had me fooled".

[Allison Chaynes]

I'd guess a few reasons:

a) Keeping a level of anonymity- those CD's who post pics are in makeup and look different from their male selves. That gives us a level of secrecy in most cases. A GG would not likely have that as easily.
b) Many may not feel the need to be validated by any of us, as Kim said.
c) For some, they might not want to imagine what the perve crowd (there's a few in every group, statistically our group here probably has a few) is doing to a GG's picture.

[Eryn]

Since this thread has no pictures, it is being moved to MTF.

[Stephanie47]

I think the vast majority of GG's who are registered on this site have done so to gain some insight on why their husbands do what they do. For the most part I don't think they are a real cheering section. Being supportive of the man a woman may love does not confer support for the concept of cross dressing. I sure most would just wish their husbands were not cross dressers. It would be a less complicated world for most of them.

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe they do not need to validate themselves like we do.
Apart from that it would be nice to see some piccies somewhere of the GG's here as a form of introduction even.
Some do post tho'.

[RuthM]

I can't speak for other GG's but I did not join this forum to critique other people's appearances. When I first joined I looked at the pictures to get an idea of what to expect from my SO. I no longer have the need to see what my SO "could" look like as I have seen him fully dressed. The support I use this forum for is not found in the picture threads, so I don't go to there anymore.

Just my :2c:

Ruth

[PaulaQ]

The GG's who grace our forums are, to a lady, the kindest, sweetest, most accepting women on this earth. Of this I am certain.

Women critiquing other women's appearance is a full contact sport, like MMA, and NFL football (without pads), at the same time. Most of us couldn't handle it (I sure couldn't!), and I think our GG's intuitively know this, and are just too kind to body tackle us. ;)

@the GG's here - <3 <3 <3

[Lynn Marie]

I don't pay any attention to the pictures posted here either! I'm also just about through with Flickr since they ruined it.

[Carrie R]

Perhaps they don't post comments because it is usually better to be silent than honest.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well one reason for myself is id be wasting my time & two i cant any way. How to embarris a woman take a photo . when she does not have the look does not look female enough for others to take a photo of her. so will be passed by, most males look at pretty female or women who are striking in how they look.

Some of us ...dont...even many dresser's here look far better than i ever will so no youll not see any of mine because i dont look good enough .

I v been seen on Two T V stations nation wide, & i was not bothered being interviewed , its how i look / looked that i was embarrised about,

its funny i do a lot of photography for many of our groups , youll not see myself in them i try to stay out of the camara lens, it was bad enough just doing my avatra, & the odd one here & there.

I only did that so people could i d myself & know im real. Im quite happy staying in the background, & thats from a real female. As to comments on others ill do very few, because with photos as iv said before the light & situstion can make the colours so different & what i see may not be how it is of the person being taken,

When i see the person face to face even then im more likely to not comment, I know for some that have taken the time to do them selfs up they may see it as being inapropreate to comment, in case I offend them ,

An other reason is we do not have to prove we are women or validate ourselfs, though im haveing to rethink this some what concerning some i know about here where we live, just another lesson of life i surpose.

...noeleena...

[Ellanore G.G.]

I hardly ever look in the picture gallery.
Im on this forum because Im married to a c/d and want to gain insight from all on here,
going through the same things as I.
I dont mean to sound nasty or bad, but I have no interest in looking at photos of other c/ds.
Sometimes I see nice photos and I do comment, but I will just come across them by chance.
I do like to go through the photos in the fab section, but thats just to get a face so i can connect it ,
with the person, I never look to see what they are wearing.
Hmmm I wonder what other GGS think .

[Kate Simmons]

As Bev said, they don't do it for themselves so for the most part fail to see why we need validation. Those poor fragile men they probably figure. If you wanna be a woman, you gotta "woman up" ya know?:battingeyelashes::)

[Launa]

What if you were in their shoes??? Lets say for a moment all us men on the forum are just like the rest of the regular men in this world and we all live regular lives like every other normal family. Then one day out of the blue we find ourselves in a situation like this, we'd come home from work one day and the wife says to us, hey honey can you sit down? I need to have a talk, I want to dress like a man once in a while.....I won't mention in our conversation the little BULLSHIT that when I say dress up once and a while, that it really means I want to dress up quite often but because I don't want this to be to traumatic, I'm too chicken shit to say it.

Now all the men would then do the normal thing and go running to the internet to see what kind of info we could find on this behavior. Once we find this forum, check it out I think the last thing on our minds is to comment at all on anybody's pictures. For all we know this could be like a real life horror movie for us or them too see.
And like others have said, "there's not that many of us here that look real good." I know for a fact I might look at best ok but for passing out there, I could only fool a dog.
Sorry if I'm Debbie Downer today folks.

[Ressie]

1. They're just jealous!
2. They're laughing too hard
3. They're nice enough not to point out what they really think
4. What does Tara think?

[Jackie7]

My wife enjoys it when I post a photo of the two of us on this site, see my recent thread "my wife's advice: have fun with it" for some recent pix of us, and also my recent posts in the photos section. We want the world to see that couples can not only survive with a CD in the household, you both can have fun with it. Here we are on our way to a fancy-dress Valentine's dance, for example. She doesn't post comments simply because she doesn't spend a lot of time on this site, it's my "thing," not hers.
-- Jackie, and Tina/Tony

[Sandra]

Okay I'll bite at this one :D

I will sometimes comment if they ask for advice, I will try and point out the mistakes etc...but then wonder why I bother, you see another member will gone on after and say basically the same thing and gets poured all over, my post gets ignored, sometimes I wonder why I bother. There is no way I 'm going to go on a thread and post "oh you look great" when they don't and that's why I don't reply very often to threads in the gallery.

[Lorileah]

I agree with Sandra (and just making sure that she knows I didn't ignore her post) :)

Really, why do you think a GG would gush all over pictures that are posted just to fluff your own self esteem (yes that includes me)

[Grace85]

Well...I can't speak for all GG's, but, I can speak for myself.

Why don't I reply?

I don't look at them in the first place. My fiancee is a CD. I didn't come to this forum to see you dressed. I'm here to learn. To get support from other GG's like myself. To offer what support I can to others. The first two of these things are not fulfilled for me by seeing you dressed. I might read posts and conversations about fashion or makeup or wig tips that might be useful to my fiancee or my understanding of him. I might answer questions you pose about fashion or beauty, as I am able to. I looked a few pictures when I first joined, but, by and large, there is nothing to be gained for myself by looking. As to offering support, there are two types of things I could reply with. One, a simple validation that you look good, regardless of my personal opinions on whether you pass, if that style/haircut/makeup color/etc works for you; I could act as a cheerleader. But I don't know you or why you seek my validation. Why is my opinion as a GG better than someone else's? (Because you clearly have plenty of peers telling you that you look good, and the OP has asked this question, which suggests that it's not simply being told you look good that some who post pictures seek, but specifically that GG's think you look good.) Or two, an honest opinion as to what's working for you and what's not. The latter is less commonly solicited. In those cases, when I see them, I'm happy to offer those such comments, if a new post pops up with that desire clearly marked in the title.

Why do I need it clearly marked? Because otherwise, I just don't have time. You, meaning the collective "you" of everyone who posts pictures on this site, post a lot of pictures! I have many demands on my time. I first and foremost come to this site to get support for myself and make connections with other GG's. Being with a CDer isn't easy. Even when you support it. Even when you have an awesome SO like mine, who is communicative and open and realizes that no matter how much you accept it, you still have a lifetime's of society's influence to combat. No matter how early I learned about society's gender messaging and how much I hate it and how much I actively seek to minimize its influence in my life, it effects me. He gets that. And no matter how supportive he is, CDing is really about him. He's still coming to terms with it. I want to be supportive of my CDer, and in order to do that, when I come to this site, it needs to be about me, so that I can go back to him ready to accept and help and tell him he looks good and maybe start a tough conversation about something that needs to be addressed. So learning and getting support and connecting with other GG's comes first. So does supporting my fellow GG's. Then, if I have time and energy left, I might poke around other parts of the site and offer support to other CDers. But often, I just don't have the time.

[DawnD]

I cannot answer for most GG's on this site, but I can answer for myself.

I do not go into the picture forums because I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or be seen as an SO who is struggling. I can offer constructive criticism, and I do so for many girls on this forum that ask my advice and privately email me pics. But I fear that anything offered from me on a photo would be construed as non-acceptance instead of what it was, constructive criticism. I am a very observant person, and I see good as well as things that can be improved upon. But I cannot tell a lie. I do not lie to my husband when he asks about his appearance, and I could not offer fluff to anyone else. So I don't go. And I truly cannot tell the difference between someone who wants the truth, and someone who just wants to hear how pretty they are.


I think the vast majority of GG's who are registered on this site have done so to gain some insight on why their husbands do what they do. For the most part I don't think they are a real cheering section. Being supportive of the man a woman may love does not confer support for the concept of cross dressing. I sure most would just wish their husbands were not cross dressers. It would be a less complicated world for most of them.

Actually, I am a cheering section. Not only for my husband, but for my friends here. I have met some damn amazing girl's here.

I think that a person should be who they want to be, and present how they want to present. I do not wish that my husband would stop because it's part of who he is, our life, and our marriage. It's taught us both alot about ourselves.

I support others, and it makes me happy to offer that safe place for them. I think that it would be beneficial for society at large to explore both sides of their gender. I express mine freely, and so does my husband. I understand there are many SO's that wish that their spouse would just stop, but I am not one of them. I offer support to those seeking acceptance. And I cheer every single one of you who has the courage to be who you are.
Even if it is in the closet. ;)

[Eryn]

I that that there is fundamental difference in the way that this site is viewed by CDers and GGs.

CDers are into CDing and want to experience as much as they can. They tend to spend a lot of time on the forum and tend to read every section that they are able.

GGs are usually here because they have a CDing SO and most are trying to find, at least initially, information about their SO's "problem" and perhaps how they can help to cure it. They're not terribly interested in looking at other CDers except perhaps as an indication of what their SO's future might be. In that case they aren't likely to comment.

A few wonderful GGs discover that our community cherishes them and will interact with us on a broader variety of threads. They come to view CDing as another facet of normal behavior and in that way become valued members of our community.

[ReineD]

I just want to ask the question as to why GG's most oftentimes do not reply to the majority of all of the hundreds of pictures that CD's post and looking for validation. I do see it as a fact, why is this?

Several reasons. First, most times I don't know what to say. Members usually don't ask specific questions that need answering and I'm not one to just go up to someone that I don't know and tell them how nice they look. I wouldn't do that with a GG's pic either, unless she was a very close friend and was posting an extra special outfit, like a gown for a black-tie affair. Second, if members who do not pass want specifically to be validated as passing, I can't lie. So I don't say a word. And last, it very seldom occurs to me to have a look at the Gallery threads. I probably click on one or two threads per month if the title catches my eye. I hate to say it, but I"m just not into noticing the finer details of how some CDers put their looks together. It's not one of my interests. I much prefer giving my :2c: in threads where there is something to resolve.

[Jenniferathome]

... Second, if members who do not pass want specifically to be validated as passing, I can't lie. So I don't say a word. ...

I imagine I can hear the sound of bursting bubbles if you did ;-)

[Eryn]

...I"m just not into noticing the finer details of how some CDers put their looks together....

And, we have to face the reality that, for most GGs, the thrill of putting a look together begins to wane after age 20 or so. At that point it just becomes an engrained habit, not even worth thinking about.

I find it hard to imagine a group of fortysomething or fiftysomething GGs posting pictures of themselves in the same way we do! :)

[GG7irish]

Well as a GG i can say I do apologize, I did not realize that validation was being asked. I know I have posted on a few, however I am still learning with my SO. I can say I usually read the questions etc and have posted that someone looks nice etc.

[steftoday]

Thanks to all you GGs that support us, one way or another. You are very much appreciated.

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread...

[docrobbysherry]

Personally, I think of GGs here as the "real deal". And, as such, the voices of reason.

My mother, a GG, taught me if u can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

If u actually think I look REALLY good, u may say so. If u don't think a look is special, your and everyone's silence is just fine with me.

[ReineD]

I imagine I can hear the sound of bursting bubbles if you did ;-)

I would never, EVER tell someone outright that she doesn't pass. Gosh, I can't imagine saying anything worse in this forum, can you? Besides, how can anyone really tell in just a few, small, static pictures?

[Greenie]

See I guess I am one of the ones who does take time. I look at a lot of threads and do not comment though. I guess I comment when I see an item of clothing or a pair of shoes I like or when someone looks really passable. I also like posting when some one ASKS for advice. A lot of the threads in the picture forum are just people posting themselves looking for "good job" or "yeah you would pass" If I don't think that is true and they didn't ask for advice why be the mean GG who points it out?

But I try to make an appearance and comment and give feedback. I know a lot of you all like that. :) I love posting and getting someone who is excited to have a GG respond. Makes me feel good. :)

[Vickie_CDTV]

One problem is that sometimes what we might see as attractive might differ from what a GG today (especially if they are really into following the current fashions) would find attractive. I remember one GG here commenting on someone's picture, saying they thought the fact the person in the picture wearing hosiery with a certain outfit was really outdated and unattractive. This lead to some hurtful comments being exchanged, and the GG saying she would not bother commenting on pictures anymore.

I have been told by others I dress a bit "too old", and some things I like to wear are rather dated. But, like many, I dress in what I like personally, even if it does not always fall into line with mainstream fashion or ideas of what is attractive.