Sad news from my end of the world

[TeresaCD]

Hiya.
I am hesitant to share this, but I thought it needed to be shared.
If the moderators disagree - I'm ok with that.
In my neck of the woods last week, a girl (who I didn't get to meet), sadly killed herself.
She had undergone transition, no one had any idea she felt that way.
She was an active member of a community I am just joining, the grief in them was heart wrenching.

Why share this? Because beautiful places like this I am sure help prevent this sort of tragedy, as does the community she was part of.

Please, always remember you are not alone, you are loved, and you are exceptionally valuable. And, let's keep watching out for, and valuing each other as the beautiful people we are :).

Thanks for being here

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

That is so sad that she thought that was her only option.

[mary something]

Thanks for sharing, this is a condition that can break us if we let it. My thoughts to her family...

[KellyJameson]

Suicide seems to be a shadow that attaches itself often to the best and brightest among us and certainly haunts those who for whatever reason seem not to be able to join the game of life.

Teens unmercifully bullied because their differences offend the dominant social group made up of others who created this group by tormenting others, much how the Jews were used to form social cohesion through their slaughter.

The world is ugly on so many levels and I wonder if those who cannot be a part of this ugliness become exhausted by being touched by it one to many times.

You must look for the beauty in life if you are going to survive its ugliness but this is difficult to do day in and day out.

Life is much more fragile than we care to admit and I doubt if there are few who live their full allotment of life who do not think at some point how nice it would be to have it end quickly and quietly in that moment when the mind fully feels the futility and meaningless of life.

Sometimes I think life is lived between the pain of the now and the fear of what may follow when life ends creating a tension between the two.

We need reasons other than the fear of death to keep us alive, otherwise the ugliness and suffering will eventually push you past your fear.

There must be hope, purpose and contribution and above all else we must feel valued and accepted for ourselves

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

That was well-spoken Kelly. Sadly, anyone who contemplates suicide has lost all hope and is clouded with the thoughts that there is no other solution. Often that person will not openly admit a deep problem possibly due to hopelessness or despair. The first step for anyone feeling this way is to openly admit they have a problem. It's not easy for some because often who they open up to has no experience to help that individual. Hopefully anyone who is involved with the individual can recognize any signs and even temporarily take over the person's life to get them the help they need.

Cheryl

[Deborah_UK]

Such sad news, one may never know the torment she must have been going through but can only guess. My thoughts are with her family and friends, she may be at peace - those left behind never will be.

[groove67]

So very sad that this happens in our world that any of us feel that is only way out. I hope someday i can council young transgender people and help them realize that there is hope and a reason to fight for whom you are.

[Marleena]

Tragic news indeed Teresa. It proves that we can never know what another person is feeling.

[traci_k]

How tragic It just goes to show how we need to reach out to those suffering with this condition to let them know they are loved and cared about.
Well said Kelly.

[ReineD]

This is so sad. I'm sorry for your friend. :sad: :hugs:

You say she had transitioned ... so she was living as a woman full time? This seems to be the ultimate goal and if a transwoman should despair, it would be because she feels that she needs to transition but she feels that she can't?

As far as you know, were the outward aspects of her life OK? I mean did she have a job, friends ... did everything look as if it might have been OK and if so, why do you think that she was so despairing?

Again, I'm sorry. I'll keep her, her family, and her friends in my thoughts.

[TeresaCD]

I didn't know her, this is all very new to me.
She had undergone transition, including surgery (I think).
And outwardly things were going well, from what they say.
For me a real reminder how special our community is, and how needed..

[Ann Louise]

I'm so sad to hear that Teresa. I imagine most all of us have had that dark cloud pass over, even if only briefly. I know that I have. It underscores to me how much we can and should all mean to each other, trans sisters and brothers all united in the common purpose of finding love, peace and happiness in our lives. So sad for her, her friends and family, Ann

[Juliea661]

Thank you for sharing Teresa. I am so sorry for your saddness. But your message is timeless and so important, and I'm glad you stated it so elequently.
hugs, Jules

[Barbara Ella]

Thank so much for relaying this information Teresa. As others have said, this is a phenomenon attached to our group. It emphasizes that outside appearances cannot begin to reflect the internal turmoil the transexual mind must go through on a daily basis, even after getting what must have been the most desirable situation. We cannot know the real emotional state of this dear woman that would lead to a decision such as this. It only emphasizes the importance of friendships and connections such as are available here to help us through the down times.

I hope that, if possible, you will let us know if you hear any more about where this dear woman was mentally that caused this. Again, thank you so much.

Barbara

[Persephone]

Very sad.

We are not likely to really ever learn why in her case .

Reine asks the question that so many of us think of:


You say she had transitioned ... so she was living as a woman full time? This seems to be the ultimate goal and if a transwoman should despair, it would be because she feels that she needs to transition but she feels that she can't?

Sadly I suspect that in too many cases there is an answer, an answer we really don't like to think about nor hear. An answer that isn't always spelled out to us as we continue on our journey.

It is the answer of unrealistic expectations; expectations that are supported and encouraged by friends, by therapists, and by all sorts of psychological and medical "experts." The belief that life will be so much different, so much bettter, that all of our problems will disappear if only we transition.

The reality is that life on "the other side," life in "girl world," is very, very different, that it is amazing and sometimes awesome, but it is no panacea for the problems that we bring with us.

Sadly, I believe too many, like this tragic woman and like Mike Penner/Christine Daniels (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/11/veteran-times-sportswriter-mike-penner-dead.html), find this out only after transition.

Hugs,
Persephone.