Perception

[Kate Simmons]

I'm wondering how you all feel you come across to others when you go out en femme. Do you feel convincing? Are you nervous? Are you just "another woman"? Are you friendly and approachable? Are you sexy and seductive? Are you a well mannered lady? How do you feel that others may see you? :)

[Angela Campbell]

Kate, I find that when I first walk out the door I am not very sure of myself, but the longer I am out there the more confident I get. I am a bit shy and do not try to be sexy but I do try for attractive middle aged. I am very well mannered and as far as how people see me I do not know, but have not so far had any reactions other than positive. Just another woman is about how it is. My mannerisms are completely feminine as that is quite natural to me. I feel like a lady when I am out because I am one.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I feel confident, in that I am who I am in my neighborhood, going out to dinner, Do you get the occasional look , sure , Most are very positive. When you act and dress your age you are respected as a person, weather its male or female. People usually are very nice. We were out to dinner one night and the waitress was great, the 'ahh hah' moment came when we were paying the check and she looked at me , smiling, then did a double take . Her had went to her mouth, eyes wide, and she blurted "OMG , you're beautiful !" . Even though she was young she still showed remarkable grace, She then asked if she could get a photo, went to get her camera , and next thing she brought 4 other waitresses over and we did a buch of group photos, not the attention I wanted from other differ guests, but sometimes yo have to go with the moment. There are other places in the city , I would not go with out a friend or three, but I don't think it matters weather you are male OR female.

[Kate Simmons]

As for myself, I'm simply myself when en femme and interacting with others and go with the flow and the moment like Kelly. In all honesty how I act and react when en femme is how I feel I would be if I had been FAB. Funny how many aspects of ourselves can be highlighted as needed. Reactions to me by others are generally positive and people genuinely seem to enjoy my company. Not bad for an old geezer in any capacity I figure. ;):battingeyelashes::)

[Sabrina133]

I've evolved over the years. Certainly, when i fist started going out dressed, i was nervous, apprehensive - even scared. As i gained more confidence in my ability to present as a woman, ive certainly become more confident. As ive gained more inner confidence, i think its also affected my ability to project that attitude in a positive manner.

[biggirlsarah]

Being someone who is quite tall , and quite mature I try to blend in as much as I can I tend to dress as a woman of my age would because I don't want to attract any unwanted attention, I know that I don't pass as female but what I am doing is not against the law and I am just going about my lawful business, be it shopping or whatever I am doing, although if there are a gang of young people hanging about I do feel a little vulnerable, because they can see us as an easy target so it depends where I am and what I am doing.

[Sheren Kelly]

I have no illusions that I "pass" as a woman, but I try to carry myself with dignity such that when I am read, it is a non-event. I generally keep a low profile and blend in as best I can. In Kelly D's experience above, I would have declined to have my picture taken and would have asked the waitress to treat me simply as a regular customer.

[kimdl93]

Friendly, approachable and well mannered. That's the best I can do.

[Juliea661]

Good question Kate!
I suppose Jules is evolving from a young scared little girl, to a more compose happy young woman (I think I'm at least twenty years younger than my twin brother...).
I like to think I blend, and even possibly pass from a distance. But THAT is becoming least stressful and less important.
So yes, I hope to present as someone who is happy, caring, gentle, and FUN...
Hugs, Jules

[Beverley Sims]

Do you feel convincing? More like confident.
Are you nervous? A little.
Are you just "another woman"? I try to be.
Are you friendly and approachable? It all depends "what" approaches me.... Usually yes.
Are you sexy and seductive? Not really, attracts too much attention.
Are you a well mannered lady? I try not to pick the wart on my nose.

[bridget thronton]

I try to be myself and hope others treat me the way i treat them

[Darla Jean]

I've only been out a few times and then only with others who know me and are along for the journey - one time during the day, others at night. I am by no means passable - I'm 6'3" and why dress without nice heels? So I stand out to begin with and I'm older. All that being said, if you use the things you learned to communicate nicely and pleasantly as a man, it will be fine as a woman. While some will be taken aback and a few stupids will laugh and stare, many people will simply treat you with respect and dignity. This of course depends on the venue - larger cities are certainly more open than smaller towns. But overall, I find most people simply don't care - I may be a passing novelty but then it passes and we're on to the next thing on the agenda, e.g. lunch!

[Nikki A.]

I shoot for a confident, classy woman. Not built for sexy, and I really don't think I pass. But I have had women that tell me that think I do a pretty good job at casually passing. If read, well, I just handle it as a non event with a smile.
Never really been nervous dressed. Only time I was nervous was early on walking into an IHOP on a Saturday morning. I wasn't as sure of myself as I am now and not as good with make up and clothing. Thankfully I was far from home and I was with two members from this forum who gave me support I needed. After that nothing has really scared me.

[Diana Bain]

Though I've gone out many times, I'm still nervous at the beginning and after about 10 minutes or so I'm ok. Friendly, sure...well mannered, of course. Hopefully others see me as a woman (or close enough that they keep on walking). Sexy and seductive...on special occasions yes and especially New Years Eve.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I've only been out a few times. My anxiety holds me back and I think my nervousness would show and be a give-away. But in the times I have, especially going to a support group meeting, I've been able to present myself as confident around the other girls even forgetting I was dressed. But that was in a safe setting. I know in drab I tend to slouch, but dressed I keep a good posture.

What would be good for me and probably any others, if practical and it's a stretch, would be have someone do video of us so we coulld review it later and analyze the things we might have to work at.

Cheryl Ann

[Sonia_cd]

Having never actually gone out I'm not sure I'm qualified to comment on this thread but here's my opinion and presumption...who I am as a person wouldn't change based on the clothes I'm dressed in. What I've noticed when I'm dressed is that my mannerisms and gestures are relaxed but how I feel and consequently how or what I project wouldn't change. I do feel I've found a harmony between the masculine and feminine within and that persona is what will interact with and respond to people. Again, I qualify this opinion by saying that it might be very different if and when I do actually go out, but this is really the way I feel.

Sonia

[Persephone]

Those first trips out were frantic scary events, I would be cold, clamy, shaking like a leaf, sweating, trying to hide in the shadows, you name it.

Today, years and agony later, I'm a confident, comfortable woman who interacts with others and enjoys life.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Persephone, You've proven that it takes practice--lots of it. It's a difficult and disciplined course for us who wish to blend in. You proved success in another thread where another woman asked if your husbands were okay with the long outing you had with the girls. (Big grin!)

Cheryl Ann

[AllieSF]

I am totally comfortable when I go out. I think that sometimes I actually am perceived as another woman until I start talking, then it is obvious that I am a man in female clothing. Since I always try to be stylish, whether casual or more dressy, others take me for me, with our special twist on life. I do notice that women, mostly younger, but some true mature ones too, will open up with me and my friend just as if we are one of them sharing intimate feelings and details about their life. It really, in my opinion, comes down to ones own confidence and personality and how they present and convey that to others.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Ohhh pish posh Kelly CapHill, I've met you and seen your photos, You are very beautiful indeed! For me it's NOT about passing, I need low light levels and people with bottle coke eye glasses, I also have to be sitting down and surrounded by gorgeous GG's to distract all attention. Seriously, what I ment was that to go out, I don't worry about perception of others, You just have to have confidence to be yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. We all have good days and bad days. Some days you can have good make up, other days well .... lets not go there . LOL

[Frédérique]

Do you feel convincing? Are you nervous? Are you just "another woman"? Are you friendly and approachable? Are you sexy and seductive? Are you a well mannered lady? How do you feel that others may see you?

Convincing? No. Nervous? Yes. Just another woman? No. Friendly? Somewhat. Approachable? No. Sexy? Perhaps. Seductive? No. Well mannered? YES. How do I feel that others may see me? I really don’t care – I do this for me…
:straightface:

[Rogina B]

I am confident and comfortable being anywhere. Because of that,people enjoy interacting and having me around. Not much is ever going to faze me,and I think people sense that.

[Jilmac]

Kate, I can't really speculate other peoples' perception of me when I'm out and about as Jill, but I always try to be polite and respectful of others, and I think that speaks volumes about their perception of me.

[Lorileah]

I am who I am when I am out. I hold my head up, I make eye contact, I smile and say "hi". I don't have illusions that I am in any way mistaken for GG when someone is within 10 feet. But I am a person that is confident (usually). sexy and seductive? Well in the last few months evidently but I am changing perfume, what I wear seems to attract guys. On the other hand, it attracts women who compliment me also. I am well mannered (usually...sometimes...well most the time) and I always dress well. I can look like a slob at home.

[Tracii G]

I try to be confident and well mannered all the time in either mode.
All those other things IDK thats up to the person that sees me.
I smile back when smiled at that seems the proper thing to do.

[Sheren Kelly]

Ohhh pish posh Kelly CapHill, I've met you and seen your photos,....

I see someone is overdue for a visit to the optometrist ;)
But I agree with you, it is our attitude that is most important to how others perceive us.

[Claire Cook]

Well, I'm not sure how others perceive me. The image I try to project is someone who is comfortable with her/himself. Most of the time I'm treated with a "ma'am", either because I'm seen as a woman, or because people are being polite. I do get the occasional 'sir". That used to bother me, but now I go with it, if for no other reason than I think OK folks, yes, we're out there. In any case I find myself being more open with people.

[Raychel]

On the very rare occasions that I have gone out, Convincing=No way. Mostly just VERY nervous.
Not comfortable at all. :sad:

[Emjay]

I hope I come across as friendly and approachable. Sexy and seductive..... I wish lol.... I try to be a well mannered person in everyday life anyway so that part, I hope anyway, carries over to Autumn naturally. :)

It's funny, I've not been out a ton of times (yet) but every time I do go out I'm super nervous until I cross the threshold of my front door. Once I'm outside on my way to my car I'm totally fine. Just another woman out and about doing normal stuff, hopefully in at least a somewhat convincing manner.

[Kate Simmons]

If it's normal for us then it's normal Autumn.:)