Tracii's teenage education awareness program.

[Tracii G]

A little Tough Love at WalMart tonight.
OK I'm different I get that but I'm no push over either so here is what happened.
4 teens 2 boys 2 girls all are in the 14-16 age range and we all know what they are like right?
I was wearing skinny jeans and sandals with bright red toenails. Medium hoop earrings and no make up at all so its obvious I'm a guy.Not out of the ordinary for me at all.
All 4 were walking up the aisle towards me the one teenie boys eyes get big as saucers and he starts to giggle I pass by paying no attention to him carrying a new shower curtain package (needed one).The girls just look and think nothing of what I have on.
The other teenie boy gets real brave and comes around the other aisle to get a better look and says "hey the Pu&&y is over here ha ha ha".
I look at him straight in the eyes and give him the 1000 yard stare (google it).
He stops dead in his tracks so I ask him whats your problem hoss?
He says your toes man that is "so gay"so I ask him how are painted toenails gay?
No answer so by that time all 4 are in the aisle and I have control.
I asked them to go back in the other aisle so dumb ass and I could have a talk.They complied.I asked again and he said fags paint their toenails.
So your Mom and Grandmother are fags then? Again no answer.
By this time he is getting very uneasy and wanting to leave I said this lesson has just started hoss you can't leave only a pu&&y would leave.
He stood there so I said look you are young and just don't understand how the world works but in time you will, just remember everyone is different and doesn't have to conform to your standards.Live and let live OK? Do I make myself clear?
He said yes sir I believe you have, Mister I feel really bad about what I did.
I told him I forgave him and told him "use your brain first before you engage your mouth."
What he said to his friends I have no clue but they must have heard everything I said to him.So maybe a little tough love sunk in.

[PretzelGirl]

Once again Tracii, you rock! Education is the key, even if force fed a little. :heehee:

[Rogina B]

Great job! Then the girls probably gave it to[him] or them as well telling him how "uncool" he was being!

[Cindy M]

You go girl! Tough situation. Sounds like you handled yourself well.

[AllieSF]

Good one Traci. You handled that perfectly and maybe made all of them think twice about just what happened. I had a similar experience about 3 years ago coming back on the train in the evening from a day in San Francisco. I was with a dear TS friend who is a bit shy. Two young girls (about 13 years old) were making a commotion and showing off to their young boy friends who were quiet the whole time. Once they saw us the girls had closer targets to focus on and have fun with. They would look, giggle and talk loudly with each other and then started asking us in even louder voices for the whole train car to hear those smart ass questions to show off even more. I started answering them truthfully looking them in the eyes the whole time. They eventually lost interest and got off at their station. When we exited a couple stations later, several ladies in the train came up to us to tell us how bad they felt for us.

[Tracii G]

Allie most adults have learned life's lessons on how to behave but kids haven't had the time to realize the world yet.
I wanted to twist this little punk into knot to be honest but WalMart is not the place to do it.

[Sallee]

nicely done, You taught him a valuable lesson that he won't forget and will appreciate latter in life after he gets over his embarrassment.

[Kandy Barr]

Once again Tracii, you're over the top, I love it! Who knows, maybe you got his curiosity up and he will try painting his. You certainly got his attention.

[Tracii G]

I had a basket of other tricks to test his manhood if he continued on about my toenails.
I found it odd he never mentioned my girls skinny jeans I guess he was Ok with them LOL.

[kimdl93]

I totally concur. You really rock...even when you're reeducating misguided youth!

[Tracii G]

A teaching moment is what it was and we all need to do that when these moments occur.

[Di]

A teaching moment is what it was and we all need to do that when these moments occur.

BRAVO!!!!!!:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Erica Marie]

You taught him a life lesson. I think the kid will think before he talks next time. He should just be glad it turned oit with just a talking too. Some one else may have made it worse.

[Tracii G]

Thanks ladies I thought I did the right thing doing it that way.

[Beverley Sims]

Every now and then the situation and surroundings click into place.
Then it is time to come out fighting.
Good one Tracii, it has all been said before I came along.

[4mymichelle]

Tracii,
It is unfortunate that situations like this happen. I applaud :clap: you for the way you handled it. You turned a possible ugly scenario into a positive one. Education is truly the key to letting them know that it is not acceptable to make fun of someone for the way they look or dress.

[Diane Smith]

Teenagers, especially the girls, usually express themselves with a lot more bark than bite. If you can call them on their nonsense and make a direct connection with them as a human being, you not only stand a chance of changing an attitude for a lifetime, you'll actually wind up with a friend and defender from the deal. Young people giggle, tease and criticize to disguise their own nervousness in dealing with a situation that they haven't a clue about, and to build cohesiveness in their own peer group when confronting something or someone they don't understand. If you can penetrate the wall they are trying to build around themselves -- as your confrontation did most effectively -- their even deeper desire to learn about how the world works kicks in, and you can actually -- for a brief moment -- teach them something.

Whenever I'm confronted by snickering teen girls while I'm out and about, I always exchange a few kind words with them, and invariably the goofiness stops and their maturity level seems to instantly advance by a few years. They're not a group to avoid or be afraid of, but should be thought of as potential allies in the long run, if we can demonstrate to them that we're not any weirder than they are. :) Boys are a bit of a different story as they can be prone to violence, but with care you can approach some of them the same way. Doing it in a public place is certainly the safest, and despite what you said, I think Walmart may be the perfect setting for this to happen.

- Diane

[AshleyW]

Awesome! I kinda wish someone had given me that lesson when I was that age. I was real idiot back then. Ironically, my toenails are currently a pretty shade of pink! If only my 15-year-old self could know... :devil:

[Nicole Erin]

The poor kid probably had a turd in his pants by the time you two were done talking.
Once you were out of earshot the kid probably said, "Man, i could have kicked his ass!" as his friends rolled their eyes.

Ya know Tracii, I still don't quite get why people are often wanting to challenge how you want to present. But then ultimately, TG folks don't judge what anyone wants to wear.

You may have given him the wrong idea though - what if he went home and asked his mom and grandma if they were fags?

[Tracii G]

Nicole I hope he does so Mom and Grandma can slap his dumb ass around a bit.LOL
Seriously if he does say something to them they can educate him on how to be more understanding.
I was nice to see him squirm and feel fear creep up his spine.He was sweating pretty badly and his face was flush enough I could have said are you wearing blush?
I really hope he took it to heart and learned something.

[Barbara Ella]

A great learning moment for him if he takes it to heart. Handled it very well. Just adds to the Cosby routine that their minds are not fully cooked. Sometimes I think the oven is off.

Barbara

[Tracii G]

Barbara I have had a few run ins with the teenies so I'm used to it.
5-6 years ago outside a convenient store 3 guys I would say were 18 or so were giving me a hard time with what I was wearing and said they were going to kick my ass so I said can the big one go and try first?
I gave a big smile and took my shoes off in preparation.They thought twice and walked away.

[ChristineReid]

Tracii - you are such an inspiration - right out there leading the way. I am still quite timid - aspiring to have your courgage. Your story really helps. Thanks!

[Tracii G]

Thank you Christine you are more than sweet!
IDK stuff like that really doesn't bother me at the time it happens but later on I think well I am different so I can understand sort of.
I do push the boundaries at times when I can so its not unexpected to get a heckler here and there.

[stephNE]

Tracii, that is awesome! You are much braver than I.

[Leslie Langford]

I totally sympathize with you and what you did Tracii - and frankly, considering the way teenagers dress these days - not to mention their tatts, body piercings, general rudeness and sense of entitlement etc., who the h*ll are THEY to judge anyone else's appearance or lifestyle.

But on another level, I worry about you and what you did - and especially considering the following line you wrote:

"...By this time he is getting very uneasy and wanting to leave I said this lesson has just started hoss you can't leave only a pu&&y would leave..."

Fact is, you're an adult and the kid was a minor, and this could have been construed as threatening behavior on your part, and maybe even a case of forcible confinement (kidnapping? hostage-taking?) since you weren't about to let him rejoin his friends until you had had your say.

In a worst-case scenario, Security could have gotten involved, the security cam videos of the encounter trotted out, and you could have found yourself in a great big heap of doggy-do and led off the premises in handcuffs, Texas-justice style...

Just sayin'...

[~Joanne~]

I found it odd he never mentioned my girls skinny jeans I guess he was Ok with them LOL.

Or the sandals.....seems he was more interested in your toes than anything else. Maybe a foot fetish? ;) I think you handled it very well. You owned the moment and kept control. A lot better than I may have.

[Tina B.]

Well if the boy didn't learn anything else, he learned a guy with painted toes can be scary, so you might want to keep you mouth shut in public even when you see something you don't understand!

[Barbra P]

While it’s true there can be some serious legal repercussions from an adult vs. minor altercation I don’t think that was the case here. Tracii would have had to physically restrain the boy and there is no mention of any physical contact with the boy. The video tapes from the security cameras would show that the boy followed Tracii to another isle and the rest of the group followed. Security personnel viewing the incident live on a screen might think “Uh Oh” that looks trouble brewing, but then again they might just ignore it as their main focus is shoplifters.

If I was the responding officer and based on the story as told here by Tracii and provided the tapes pretty much substantiated Tracii’s telling I would conclude that Tracii was in the clear. It might be possible to tell from the tapes that this was not a conversation between old friends but it would not be possible to tell what was said. It might be evident that the teenagers were taunting Tracii or might not be apparent. In either case, in all probability, I don’t think I would assume that Tracii was the instigator; I don’t recall ever having a situation where one person approached a group of four and aggressively challenged them, at least not outside of a bar with sober individuals. I would be much more inclined to believe that Tracii was the victim here, not the teenage boy, he could have walked away with the other three but didn’t. Why? Well maybe his pride wouldn’t let him, he was too macho to let another male, especially one wearing toenail polish, intimidate him. Then too there is/was past experience to go on. It is/was not uncommon to get calls involving teenagers harassing someone at a mall or in a store and invariably the victim is/was someone they felt they could ridicule, intimidate, and get the upper hand if things turned physical. Just about any LEO with any time on the job can read a situation like this one and tell the instigators from the initial victim. In this case the tables may have turned when Tracii stood his ground, but Tracci was still the victim.

[Sabrina133]

Or the sandals.....seems he was more interested in your toes than anything else. Maybe a foot fetish? ;) I think you handled it very well. You owned the moment and kept control. A lot better than I may have.

LOL, I agree. Maybe after it was over, he had one of his girl friends paint his toes --- forced him to paint his toes that is...

Nicely done Tracii. Often times the best way to defuse a situation is to call the aggressor on it. Most turn out to be nothing but punk bullies.

[Angie G]

Good for you girl.:hugs:
Angie

[daviolin]

Three cheers for Tracii. I get so sick of stupidity in the human race. It hasen't happened to me yet. But the day it does, I hope I can conger up the intelligence to do it right as you did. Daviolin

[VictoriaPaul]

I wonder if dress punishment would work on such teenage boys. I wonder if they would find that they like it. It might be messed up though.

This story reminds me of a time when I was 16, and I met a group of teens my age in a Barnes an Noble bookstore. One of them had long blond hair and was wearing a knee length ruffled white skirt. His friends totally accepted him. He said "its really comfortable" and that it was the only reason he wore it (sounds legit, since he paired it with a t-shirt and sneakers).

I kind of looked at him with skepticism and mild dissaproval (since I walked into the store with my best friend).

Later that night I met him again, outside, in the downtown area. By this point I was drunk on 4 glasses of red wine, and I said to him in a hushed voice: "remember when you said that skirts are really comfortable?..." I leaned in and whispered near his ear: "I know".

He smiled and then I went home.

[Allison Chaynes]

Tracii, just one question. After he finished peeing his pants with embarassment, did you post a pic to People of WalMart? :)

[Tracii G]

Allison I wish I had my cam with me but my purse was in the car.LOL.
That particular WalMart has 2 trans people working there so thats why I go to that store.One is a FtM and one is MtF and I know both quite well.
Its not a super center just a small store but I choose that one because the management supports the trans community openly.

[Chickhe]

Way to go... I believe most teenagers have feelings and want to be seen as being respectful, even if they don't understand how to show respect yet. They live in a popularity contest and I think its still not popular to be reprimanded in front of your friends. So you need to stand up to them, not threating them, but they need to know in the real world what they did was wrong. ...and if you don't tell them, they won't know.

[Tracii G]

The two boys needed an adjustment but the girls were fine.They all heard me I'm sure so maybe they all got a lesson in manners.

[Marlana]

Way to handle the situation Tracii.

[STACY B]

Your are such a Bully ,,lol,,,, An so mean ,, I just don't know where that mean streak comes from Lady ,, Shame ,,Shame ,, SCARING that little Punk like that ,, I wonder if it was his friend or Girl friend that changed his Pampers after they left ?
Maybe he just left it in till he got home an got Mamma to handle it .. Rub a Dub Dub ,,,,
Somebody made a Poo,,Poo,, !!!

[Tracii G]

I burned his pride a little and thats a good thing he'll get over it.

[famousunknown]

This went fine, but what if it had gone the other way? What if the kid had pulled out a gun or knife? One shot and you're out like a light.
It's possible, you know. You can roll however you want, that's your call. But this whole "education awareness program" might backfire someday. Sometimes it's better to just walk away. Just sayin.

[Tracii G]

I suppose he could have pulled a gun or knife but I'm proficient in disarming a person of both items plus I was armed as well.
I can't go thru life being afraid of things like some people can its not in my nature.
All the "what ifs" people throw out there are just covers for their own timidness.

[DebbieL]

I've been known to give "lessons" to teens. I usually refer to it as a "lesson in manners". I also address the group rather than one. I'll ask them about all their assumptions. Usually they assume that I'm gay, perverted, and wierd, possibly poor. I then tell them that I have been married twice, have 2 kids and a step-daughter, never missed a child support payment, and make a six figure income. I then tell them "I've been this way since I was 4 years old, I have always felt like a girl trapped in a boy's body, and struggled with it for years, even attempting suicide a few times". That usually makes their eyes pop wide open, and then I finish with something like "About 1 in 10 boys are like me, but living in "stealth", terrified that people like you will treat them the way you treated me. Many will kill themselves before they are 30 years old, others will get married, have families, and become leaders in the community. We see things from many different perspectives, which makes it easier for us to see solutions that seem invisible to others.". I also add that there were numerous LGBT people who were responsible for the internet, their cell phones, GPS, texting, and facebook, along with nearly every other major innovation they like so much today.

Some even recognize me in male mode and greet me with a very happy and friendly "Hi Debbie", which makes me feel wonderful - to be acknowledged for who I really am.

[Barbara Ella]

Good on you girl. Something we are arguing about here in Illinois right now, and will likely have mandated carry shortly. Proper training is essential for self defense and protection.

Barbara

[Aly Cat]

You are my hero. I wish i had a backbone when it came to this sort of stuff. Im too quiet and non-confrontational for my own good.

[Leah Lynn]

Tracii, if we were closer, I'd buy you a beer, or whatever your drink is! Cheers!

Leah

[Tracii G]

Diet Pepsi for me thanks Leah.

[docrobbysherry]

While I enjoyed your story immensely and admire your courage, I don't think confrontations like that r good idea in most cases.

However, I support your rite to dress and respond to ignorant fools any way u like!

[Tracii G]

The reason I reacted to him the way I did was because he thought he could intimidate or shame me in some way by making a childish scene about what I was wearing.
I stood up to him to show I wasn't afraid of his actions and that I wasn't going to back down.
Its a psychological thing more than anything.The only harm was to his ego nothing more.
The technique is to turn the tide of ridicule to his side and make him defend his position which he couldn't do.
How would I have looked if I turned tail and run out of the store? That would only have made him more embolden to attack others like me/us and I wasn't about to let that happen.
If more in the trans community would stand their ground and educate rather than be afraid of their own shadow I think we could make some progress.
Sorry to be so vocal but the trans community means a lot to me.
My little rant is over and if the mods want to delete the thread thats fine too.

[Emjay]

Wow Tracii,

Kids can really be rude can't they? I think you handled it perfectly though, you kept your wits about you, got your point across wonderfully, and were non-violent. Hopefully the kid really will take a lesson from this and realize that people are people no matter how they present themselves. There are enough jerks in this world already, to have one less in the future would be great!

Bravo!

[Kate's at home]

Way to go Tracii!

Affirmation through boundaries.

You would be fun to go shopping with...

Kate

[Tracii G]

Anytime Kate I love shopping!

[Kate Simmons]

You handled this in an interesting way Hon but I don't have the patience to teach "TG 101" to kids. My response to the little twerp would probably have been " Up yours!" Not very tactful I know but effective enough. :battingeyelashes::)

[famousunknown]

The reason I reacted to him the way I did was because he thought he could intimidate or shame me in some way by making a childish scene about what I was wearing.
I stood up to him to show I wasn't afraid of his actions and that I wasn't going to back down.
Its a psychological thing more than anything.The only harm was to his ego nothing more.
The technique is to turn the tide of ridicule to his side and make him defend his position which he couldn't do.
How would I have looked if I turned tail and run out of the store? That would only have made him more embolden to attack others like me/us and I wasn't about to let that happen.
If more in the trans community would stand their ground and educate rather than be afraid of their own shadow I think we could make some progress.
Sorry to be so vocal but the trans community means a lot to me.


oic...a crusader...

[Julie Gaum]

Well done Tracii! You sure got a big reaction to that experience. Most of the members don't have either the skills, experience or
physical ability, think training, that you have had so the best suggestion if the conversation became threatening would be to walk away.
I know, it would not be the best example for the kids but much safer than to stand one's ground eventhough it's the way to go IF ABLE. Wish I could say you are the example to be emulated but as stated, for most it would be foolhardy.
Best
Julie

[Frédérique]

If more in the trans community would stand their ground and educate rather than be afraid of their own shadow I think we could make some progress. Sorry to be so vocal but the trans community means a lot to me.

Teenage education awareness program? You REALLY like to flatter yourself... :heehee:

Take it from me, this boy’s opinion of your kind hasn’t been modified one iota. Sorry to play devil’s advocate, but the TRUTH means a lot to me... :straightface:

[steftoday]

Tracii, you so rock. :)

[Launa]

Good job Tracii.

[Tracii G]

Freddy I never intended my post to be a self flattering thing at all and I'm sorry you read that out of it.
@ yes it did happen why would I post it if it didn't? Others here post on things that happen when they go out how is this any different?
I make posts like this in hopes that others that may or have gone thru situations like this that they are not the only ones.
Maybe I handled it wrong according to some here and thats OK I can accept everyone's opinion.

[Shelly Preston]

Teenage education awareness program? You REALLY like to flatter yourself... :heehee:

Take it from me, this boy’s opinion of your kind hasn’t been modified one iota. Sorry to play devil’s advocate, but the TRUTH means a lot to me... :straightface:

Hi Freddy
I have to disagree with you on this. Yes some people will never change.

We will never really know if Traci's education has worked unless the boy meets her at some time in the future.

I am sure we were all told things in the past we did not believe at the time. Some of these we only realise in the future what we were told was true.

[famousunknown]

Teenage education awareness program? You REALLY like to flatter yourself... :heehee:

Take it from me, this boy’s opinion of your kind hasn’t been modified one iota. Sorry to play devil’s advocate, but the TRUTH means a lot to me... :straightface:

I agree 100% with this post.

[BLUE ORCHID]

[QUOTE=Tracii G;3204630]A little Tough Love at WalMart tonight.

I look at him straight in the eyes and give him the 1000 yard stare (google it).

Hi Tracii, I can't believe at my age that I've never herd of that I just googled it.

[stephNE]

I think what Tracii did was excellent! While I will agree it may not have change this boys mind, I'll bet it opened it up a little. I assume he has grown up with no contact with any transgendered person, I hope this let him know that we are people too, and that he needs to be more respectful of everyone's feelings. As he gets older, this may play on him and eventually make him a better person.
My only worry is that this could have turned bad on Tracii. You never know what this type of kid and his "gang" might do.