What is this feeling? Am I vain?

[Camille15]

Hi All -

So when I post pics on the forum, and people give me compliments like "you have pretty legs" or "you have a feminine figure", I get a feeling inside like no other. I feel pretty, and warm and happy. But the catch is that once I feel that, I want to feel it again. I find myself wanting to post more pics with the hope that I'll get more compliments like those ones, or checking back on posts regularly to see if I got any new such comments.

Am I vain? Will I grow out of this? I am pretty new to CD'ing fully, so perhaps this is just a maturity thing? It isn't a feeling I'm accustomed to, and if I were a GG I suspect people would call me vain. I don't want to feed bad habits, if it is one. But maybe I'm over thinking it and being too hard on myself. Should I just enjoy and have fun? After all, it's not like I ever leave the house en femme anyway.

Honest opinions appreciated.

Thanks,
Camille

[danielle.cd]

have u notice that other women do that all the time to other women . feels good, why do u think women can talk to someone they never seen before in a check out lane , ive been dressing for along time it hasent gone a way yet , probably never will so just enjoy it and keep sharing

[Greenie]

GG's do that all the time. I don't know if it is as much vain as it is human nature. Compliments are nice. They make us happy. We like to feel happy, and we know that there are certain places we can go where people will tell us that.

One of my favorite things is when a complete stranger complements me. I get embarrassed. But then super happy and giddy about it.

:) Enjoy your compliments. Post more pictures. :)

[Camille15]

Thank you Greenie, I appreciate your insightful and supportive comment.

[Julie Denier]

I think it's nice to get some validation that we're on the right track with our looks ;)

[docrobbysherry]

It's nice when u like what u see looking at your fem images in your mirror and pics, Camille.

It's very reassuring when u think others see those images the same way u do!

Of course, in my case, many don't! But, the ones that do help inspire me!

[Beverley Sims]

Camille,
It may be a little vanity, but that never hurt anyone.
Unfortunately if I comment on photographs there is little to be vain about as I am quite cruel sometimes in my comments in the photo section.
It is nice to be complimented but I think it is also unfair to say you are attractive when you probably look more run of the mill like the rest of us.
I am not saying don't make yourself attractive, because everybody can in their own little way and even a man in a dress can be made to look attractive.
Keep posting those pics and see how much better the comments get, each time you experiment and practice your presentation.

[suzanne]

I think what you are feeling is a very normal human reaction to affirmation. Everyone enjoys the feeling we get when someone compliments our appearance, accomplishments, or whatever else. Women give and receive compliments more frequently than men do, so it feels more natural. I never noticed it much until I got some experience shopping in dress stores, where good sales assistants make their sales and long term customers by singing the praises of how wonderful they look in that outfit. I've had sales ladies say "You rock that dress" and I tell you I go into a pink fog and I can't get my cash on the counter fast enough! Its an intoxicating feeling and maybe it's a bit unfair to use it to sell clothes, but it sure works. I don't think there's much harm in it unless it gets out of perspective and becomes your only motivation for doing anything. Enjoy the compliments you get but don't start fishing for them, that's all. Hugs

[Frédérique]

So when I post pics on the forum, and people give me compliments like "you have pretty legs" or "you have a feminine figure", I get a feeling inside like no other. I feel pretty, and warm and happy. But the catch is that once I feel that, I want to feel it again. I find myself wanting to post more pics with the hope that I'll get more compliments like those ones, or checking back on posts regularly to see if I got any new such comments. Am I vain? Will I grow out of this? I am pretty new to CD'ing fully, so perhaps this is just a maturity thing?

You’ll be fine, until you read one of those “Should I tell the truth?” threads about being brutally honest in regards to posted images – those come along at least twice a year. If you’re like me, you WANT, and you NEED, encouragement, and this is to be expected – it is purely natural. It’s definitely not a “maturity thing,” so please relax…
:bighug:

[suzy1]

When I posted my first picture I was too scared to look at the replies [if any] for two days.
When I did and found some really nice comments I spent the rest of the day walking two feet off the ground!:heehee:

Just enjoy the nice comments Camille. I do!:)

[Shari]

You're not alone. We all feel good when complimented and love to hear it.
Maturity? No.
Vanity? Well, a little bit. :)

[Kate Simmons]

Perhaps you need the approval of others? Everyone likes a compliment for sure but I personally don't need the approval of others to do what I do and it's my own total choice. I've never been "panned" per se while en femme by anyone but I don't expect everyone to gush all over me either. The main thing is to build up enough self esteem because that is what we all need for endurance. We won't go very far if we don't believe in ourselves.After that any compliments are just icing on the "cake". ;):)

[Erica Marie]

Looking back at comments is a way of reassurance and picking up pointers that will help us to the next level. I take all compliments and comments to heart and work on looking the best I can in hopes of one day fitting in with the general public and being able to go unnoticed.

[Chrissy.Sexton]

Camille,

Vanity and narcissism are part of this passion of ours. How many of us cannot pass by a mirror without checking ourselves out?

Enjoy it,
Chrissy

[Tina B.]

Oh, come on, Camille, everyone likes a complement. Even as a dress at home CD, I love it when the wife compliments me on how I look, any and all things that are positive are welcome.

[Lynn Marie]

Picture posting and approving comments becomes addicting and often addicting in the extreme. Maturity is moving past the need for afirmation to the confidence in yourself to admire others simply for their benefit. Everybody loves a little encouragement, but slavishly following that kind of approval is unhealthy.

A few of the problems?
Continual need of approval to the point of addiction.
Approving of others just to get a return approval.
Approval of others even when their presentation is really pretty miserable.
Being disheartened when expected approval doesn't come.

I've been guilty of all this.

[smellymelly]

Just take the compliments and run. I don't think your vain for enjoying a compliment. I love compliments! Haha then again I have also been called vain... Haters :p

[steeve]

go with it explore yourself , AND ENJOY

[Karren H]

Camille,

Vanity and narcissism are part of this passion of ours. How many of us cannot pass by a mirror without checking ourselves out?

Enjoy it,
Chrissy

Passions? More like friggin super powers! and after the first few thousand photos you stop checking for compliments.... a little....

[BridgetAtl]

Great comments! I have not been dressed out in public but i can imagine what you are talking about

[ReineD]

As with anything else, balance is key.

I agree that it's nice to receive compliments, but if a person is motivated by a need to feel the "high" of compliments and is increasingly seeking them in order to feel good about themselves, this is no different than engaging in any other compulsion. It can become a vicious cycle which leads to feelings of emptiness when the validation isn't there, which leads to more "seeking" behaviors, etc. Too much of this does describe narcissism.

If you're asking the question, it could be that your personal value system is waiving little red flags ... (else you wouldn't think to ask?) If I were you, I'd trust your instincts. Be happy that you look good, know that you are attractive, but try to maintain a balance when it comes to compliment seeking behaviors. Honestly, I think that people who are confident in themselves don't need to constantly seek validation from others.

Last, it's true that some genetic girls do this, but women can also be too dependent on seeking validation from others in order to feel good about themselves. Just because some women do this does not mean that it is healthy.

[CherylFlint]

Honest? Take a walk outside and see if you get any whistles or double-takes.
Go to the mall, go to a Gay bar and see if anyone compliments you.
That's the real world.