For you late bloomers, what precipitated your cross dressing!

[Emogene]

I was talking to a councilor who indicated that some people develop an alternative personality shortly after some type of serious mental trauma as a means of allowing self to deal with the hurt; ie Emogene.

In my instance I dealt with a suicidal armed son a thousand miles away over the telephone, keeping him distracted while the local police moved in on his location. Being in the trade and knowing how angry and dangerous my son was (he is very good with a automatic pistol and given to violence when drunk) I had to caution the officers to be careful not wanting an officer to take a hit and not go home at the end of the day.

Anyway, within a few days my dormant cross dressing showed up with a vengance. Hadn't had any urge to dress for decades.

Anyone else have a trauma just prior to CD suddenly taking a big place in their lives? Just curious!

[docrobbysherry]

I don't identify, "an alternate personality", with CDing. I began dressing out of the blue after age 50. And, there was nothing dormant in me before that! I was waiting for a "fem side" to make her appearance. But, after 15+ years, I've given up on that!

I have no idea why I began dressing. But, it certainly wasn't trauma induced.

Maybe this is the question u meant to ask, Emogene?
"Did some sort of crises in your life precipitate your urge to dress?"

[JohnH]

I guess I was thrown for loop when my first wife left me and a short while I got dismissed from a job and remained unemployed for years. I had plenty of time to reflect on my situation. However, I got married to a wonderful wife. I started wearing dresses quite a lot of time and my wife suggested I go on M2F HRT. That was really a great idea and it has made me feel much better about myself.

As one can see I do not have an alternate personality - I continue to use my given masculine name ever though my body is becoming more feminine as time goes on.

John

[SharonDD]

I CD when ever I can and go out discreetly but when my world is upside down for some reason I know i dress more because it lets me feel I am in control again and then I work the problem. Helps me more than you know.

[I Am Paula]

The trauma of birth gaveway to a lifetime of chasing femininity.

[NathalieX66]

The stock market crash of fall '08 changed everything for me. '
Everything was uncertain.

I turned from a deeply closeted crossdresser into an out & about transgender person, and life went on. I have long hair and wear dresses in public.....So far so good.

[Rachelakld]

I was 5 and wanted to ride my sisters bike, only sissies or girls rode girls bikes in those days and I figured a girl riding the bike would be OK.
I think I allowed my girl side personality to fully develop in my 30's & 40's as a conscious decision because it was easier than keeping her in a cage

[TeresaCD]

Unless you call turning 40 a trauma, no not really.
The desires have been there almost as long as I can remember, sometimes stronger than other times.
Recently, stopped fighting, and started to accept myself, so here we are.

[Emogene]

Thanks ladies, very helpful! Just trying to understand myself!

[AllieSF]

I am like Sherry, well not like but similar! I went from zero to 100 in late 2006 to my first time out in 2007 and I haven't looked back since. I had never even knew what crossdressing was before then even though I had dressed completely with the help of my Ex and some co-worker's wives to spend a night at a costume party totally en femme. I had a great time but never returned to that moment until almost 25 years later. Why? Probably a combination of things including maybe something deep down in my DNA. But the main thing for me was having my prostate removed due to cancer and losing my more important manly function. Was that the cause or just another side affect from the surgery? I don't know nor care. I am much happier that way.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have read similar, indicating some who never dressed before have suddenly picked it up after great emotional trauma. Some also claim this can happen after serious head trauma (such as after a car accident.)

[Lynn Marie]

There was no traumatic event for me, maybe just the gradual realization of being profoundly bored and unhappy in my marriage is what triggered my latent CDing. Quitting smoking a few years later just exacerbated my marriage problem. I could no longer take comfort in nicotine. What I could do, was to enjoy the erotic comfort of the women's lingerie I'd first fallen in love with as a youth. Sears and Penny's catalogs were my kid porn and my first love.

[Karren H]

My dormant crossdressing came back right after I began treatment for a couple brain tumors... ok one brain tumor and one pituitary adenoma... prolactinoma... besides the shock of being told you have brain tumors.... the prolactinoma was chemically blocking my urge to crossdress... for over a decade.. now I can increase my crossdressing by upping my medication....

[Tina B.]

My big brother called me a sissy a lot when I was a little kid, does that count?

[TxCassie]

I don't think it was any dramatic event or trauma in my case. While I had fooled around with individual items of clothing when young, I never really 'dressed" until I was about 47. I did have fantasies, and would play around using bath towels as skirts, etc... but dressing, not until a few years ago. But once I allowed myself to actually purchase some basic items, and buying my first skirt really did I feel the flood gates opened up. After that, I just began dressing as if it was the most natural behavior, but always knowing that society in general does not share my perspective. I have a ways to go, but I am awaiting the delivery of my first wig, via ebay, and for the first time, be able to dress completely. I have purchased a make up kit and am practicing. So soon, hopefully, Cassie will be able to presented completely "En Femme". So, I would say, Cassie is here to stay.

[Donna Marie]

Interesting question. I had retired and my wife and I were moving from Texas to North Carolina when she announced she wanted a separation. We went ahead with the move and the separation with me winding up in a rented trailer. Lovely! So I spent that Christmas in Florida with my elder female cousin. At a Sam's Club we saw a sweet young "thang" prancing along gracefully in 4" black patent heels and a short skirt. When i got home to Trailerville, I researched high heels and found a site that sold 'em for men. First time I knew about that, so I had to try them. Up to that point I had no idea of cross dressing. But the heels led me to quickly embrace my feminine self. Seeing my new self in the mirror all made up and fully dressed and with a wig was an amazing revelation. I was 63 at the time.

[Frédérique]

For you late bloomers, what precipitated your cross dressing!

I finally had enough spare money to buy some nice things (and the courage to go get them), a place to safely stash my stuff, and the overriding inclination to experiment. My sister wasn’t around, my one surviving parent wasn’t interested in what I was doing, and I could literally do whatever I wanted to do. In this environment, nourished by my own imagination, crossdressing really began to BLOOM!!!
:clap:

[Beverley Sims]

Idid go in fits and bursts for a while but I think it was the lack of opportunity and other interests that created any hiatus for me.

[Barbara Ella]

I retired on 2006, and the CD but hit in Sep of 2011. First time, out of the blue, and I have only gotten deeper and deeper into the feminine side that lay dormant (well, semi...) for the first 65 years. Looking back and analyzing myself I can readily see the feminine tendencies now, that i ignored and/or repressed back then. So don't think there was one traumatic event, but maybe just life building up. and overwhelming the internal resistances.

Barbara

[Cheryl T]

It's never been 'dormant' or latent for me.
I began when I was about 7 and it always just felt natural. I of course hid in the closet for decades, not wanting anyone to know for fear of all that society can throw at us. Then my wife discovered my secret and we talked, but the time wasn't right and back in the closet I went. Then about 10 years ago I just couldn't take being in there alone anymore and told her that I had never stopped and don't intend to ever stop. We talked and talked again and she was understanding and loving and she allowed me to begin to express myself.
Now I can be me and the limits I have are simply to keep close friends and family unaware. Other than that we go out all the time and I dress whenever I please (every day now) and it's lifted all the guilt and fear I had for so many years. So I suppose in some sense I am a late bloomer who just started very young.

[carhill2mn]

Thanks for asking this question. I, too, have often wondered why someone would start "dressing" later in life.

As for me, I was about 8 years old when I first tried on one of my mother's silk blouses. It fit me like a dress and I was hooked for life! Why? I don't really know. I only know I felt something special and still continue to feel that way more than 65 years later!

[ChrisP]

There is a no scientific evidence that people develop a second or multiple personality to trauma.

The cases of "multiple personality disorder" in the literature are all anecdotal, and there is serious debate in the neuroscience/psychological research community about how real the phenomenon is (as opposed to a person claiming to have multiple personality disorder).
Look, we don't know all the reasons people crossdress, which is not to say that we shouldn't study it (we should).
But take with a grain of salt any reason given you about why this occurs.
It's present in all cultures that we have studied, and it's reported historically since there has been written history.
It's interesting, it's intriguing, and, it's incompletely understood.

Chris

[heatherdress]

My wife insisted that I buy a pair of high heels for myself. She was shoe shopping and asked me why I liked a pair of heels she was trying on. She then asked me if I would like a pair of my own. I thought about it for a while and then admitted yes. She made me buy a pair of heels that I found attractive - black stiletto high heels. Then I got home and wore them. She saw my pleasure and suggested boy shorts, then a bra, then make up.

[Emogene]

Again, thank you everyone for sharing!

Me, I am very happy and content, with my life which is much improved by CB.

Oh, just an aside, my wife re-did my toe nail polish this evening. I now have the cutest lady bug's on each toe.

[Loveday]

My dressing seem to start I think right after my father died. Everything was normal and he just stood up in front of me and said " I'll be going up now " ( meaning he was going uptown to get something to eat ). Next his whole body went tense and he very slowly sank to the floor and died. Afterwards I kept seeing it happen over and over like 10 or more times a day as if I where there and it was happening again, I thought maybe PTSD was occuring. About 6 months later I began crossdressing and have never figured out why. So your advisor may have it figured right for me. This is the best reason for me that I have seen so far.

[Dianne S]

I have liked to crossdress since I was very young. Didn't actually go out dressed until I was in my twenties. I haven't gone out dressed in the last 17 years since our first child was born, and hadn't actually done much "full" dressing until about six months ago. Now, for some reason, the urge has come back very strongly.

I don't know what precipitated it. I think maybe the light at the end of the tunnel WRT raising kids... I can see that I'll have time in the coming years to indulge and I just can't wait.

[iGenny]

When I started (I’m 56, it was a year ago) it was almost like a switch was flipped. The idea to dress had never entered my head until then. My wife (same woman for almost half my life) had always called my underwear “panties” and I always corrected her.

Well, one morning we were fighting and she made a remark about not getting my panties in a bunch. I thought to myself, “OK, I give up” and put on a pair of hers. Hmmm … not bad, not sexy (white granny panties), not snug at all, but not bad. My plan was to show her that I’m getting HER panties in a bunch, but decided against it and put them back and got dressed as usual. The concept had been introduced, however, and the next time she was in the shower, I donned what she had worn the day before. Everything. Damn, I looked good. It felt good. I got undressed and re-dressed using my own male clothes. The rest, as they say ….

I’ve always had a balance of masculine and feminine traits (think football and Broadway, ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and ‘Die Hard’). Trying to work things out in my brain, all I can think of is that over the last 25+ years, I’ve had the pressure of being the husband and the dad and the provider and the handyman (etc) that dressing has been like a safety valve.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go plan and prep tomorrow night’s dinner, take out the garbage, and fix the ceiling fan.

[Jaymees22]

Hi, I had tried crossdressing as a teenager and didn't resume until last year, a fifty year break. No trauma just some extra time on my hands after I retired. I just got the urge and was hoping for something sexual to happen, it didn't, just a great sense of relief. Jaymee

[MissTee]

CD-ing did amp dramatically up after we lost a child in a terrible accident. Cd-ing for me has always had an air of escapism, and a means to gain fulfillment I couldn't otherwise get. I surmise I needed more after the accident to cope. I could be completely wrong, but whatever. I just know it helped me handle the pain and emotional grief.

[ossian]

I've been CDing since 12 or 13. Childhood had some epic seasonal family feuds that lasted for decades. Trauma and abuse, yes from an early age. It has taken me over 30 years and a lot of therapy to accept who I am. But I'm finally beginning to like the person and the CDer I
see in the mirror. Now here is the weird thing. I probably would be a CDer even without all the childhood trauma.

I've been under dressing pretty regularly over those thirty plus years. It is only since this last spring that it has taken a more external form. Yes, this has been an extraordinarily stressful last few years.

[Annie M]

No trauma no drama just always wanted to be a girl. I did put up a pretty good fight to be a real man for years, but I failed. Maybe that was my trauma? Hmmm never thought of that before. Nope, just always wanted to be a girl.

[CarleyR]

While I had fooled around with individual items of clothing when young, I never really 'dressed" until I was about 47. I did have fantasies, and would play around using bath towels as skirts, etc... but dressing, not until a few years ago. But once I allowed myself to actually purchase some basic items, and buying my first skirt really did I feel the flood gates opened up.

My experience is a little like this. I was curious as a child, but only did a little private experimentation. Once I became independent I sporadically purchased and tried pieces of women's lingerie, but life intervened and turned my attention to other things. Then, in the freedom and extra time and independence of maturity, interest reawakened, opportunity presented, I tried a bit, and the floodgate (sort of) opened.

In these circumstances, it is hard to divine any deep meaning.

[ReineD]

I have a pet theory:

I think that late onset CDing occurs when one or several barriers to the CDing are removed. Barriers can be external or internal.

Examples of external barriers are the kids having grown up so there is more freedom to dress, or having retired so there is more time to dress, or going from working in an office to working at home, a divorce or perhaps having become a widower, moving from a crowded neighborhood to some place that is more private ... and I'm sure there are others.

Examples of internal barriers are having reached a level of self-acceptance for the first time in your life, having suffered or witnessed some trauma thus realizing that life is short, being bored with life and looking for more excitement, experiencing diminishing testosterone after middle age which would make the CDing seem not so objectionable, or just generally having mellowed all around with age.

I think that for many people, early onset CDing (teenage years or above) is sexual, which then releases tons of dopamine. Years of exciting sexual release then causes a rewiring of the brain for life that is sustained even after the CDing is no longer always sexual in nature.

If it starts in very early childhood and continues with no interruption into adult life (as opposed to some kids who go through phases and then leave it behind), then likely the person is TS, whether it is Type IV, V, or VI. Not all TSs have the same desires to transition in the same way. ... but I digress.

[candydawn75]

Mine was actually my wife suggesting it. However after dressing at times for about couple of years now I realized it had been there for a while. Being a "man" you never want to admit you want to do it. Who knows there may be some truth to the trauma thing. My mother passed away about 4 years ago and I realized then I could only have a short time left, so I started doing things that made me happy. So far I am not as brave as most of you. I have never taken any pics and only been outside dressed once.

[Jillian Faith]

It's never been 'dormant' or latent for me.
I began when I was about 7 and it always just felt natural. I of course hid in the closet for decades, not wanting anyone to know for fear of all that society can throw at us. Then my wife discovered my secret and we talked, but the time wasn't right and back in the closet I went. Then about 10 years ago I just couldn't take being in there alone anymore and told her that I had never stopped and don't intend to ever stop. We talked and talked again and she was understanding and loving and she allowed me to begin to express myself.
Now I can be me and the limits I have are simply to
keep close friends and family unaware. Other than that we go out all the time and I dress whenever I please (every day now) and it's lifted all the guilt and fear I had for so many years. So I suppose in some sense I am a late bloomer who just started very young.

My story is very similar to Cheryl except that I was closer to 3 or 4 when I first felt a desire to be feminine and that I don't get to dress everyday now.

[Angela Campbell]

I have a pet theory:



If it starts in very early childhood and continues with no interruption into adult life (as opposed to some kids who go through phases and then leave it behind), then likely the person is TS, whether it is Type IV, V, or VI.

I guess that this describes it for me. There was also a point where it kind of exploded after years of pretty much being under control. (after I was 50) I have always known I was TS though. I never denied that to myself, but I did fight the idea of transition for a long time. I started at about 4.

[Jaymees22]

Yes I think Reine has the best and complete explanation. Thanks, Jaymee

[donnalee]

One thing I don't hear mentioned here is andropause, which hit me a dozen years ago including hot flashes, night sweats, etc. It took me quite a while to realize what was going on- almost 6 years! Has anyone else (genetic males only, please) experienced this or am I the only one? I've been on various heart meds for over 20 years (including spiro for all that time) and suspect that they have had more than a little influence over my lack of libido and the ability to express same. The dressing took a firm hold on me 7 years ago, but it took me 2 more to find this site - June marks my 5th year here (Yay!). Now it's 24/7 @ home, but drab when I'm out (I still have longtime associates who don't have to know more than I've let them). I read Virginia Woolf's "Orlando" when I was in my early teens and wondered if that was what would happen to me; some of what she described was close to some of my feelings at the time and I thought it might be interesting to experience both sexes in my lifetime (and hoped it would be as long as Orlando's). Looks like I made it part way at least!
Donna

[Anacita]

This is embarrassing, but my dressing correlated directly with use of hard drugs. It was only once I was really high that I could bring myself to do it.

I really need to see a shrink...