What is Harder to accept, our current age or being transgendered?

[Kim_Bitzflick]

For us older people (I'm almost 50) who identify as MTF crossdresser/transgender, is it harder for us to accept that we are crossdresser/transgender or is it harder to accept that if today we could change to the gender we favor we will never be the young cute girl some of us want to be?

I know I would love to be the young 20 something slim and sexy girl. But if I could have SRS today, I may be cute and have a female body but I still wouldn’t be young.
But there are benefits with age such as knowledge.

In the end, I have to accept who I am and how old I am.

[Tracii G]

I can accept my age and who I am.
If I knew all this at 20 I would have done SRS.

[Jolene Robertson]

Growing old is one of the laws of nature. :sad:
Growing up on the other hand..... :daydreaming:
I'm going kicking and screaming like a little girl. :rofl:

[NANNETTE]

I agree with you Kim. I am fifty three I would love to be a slim twenty something girl, but I have accepted myself as a middle aged Woman. I love singing along to music when I am crossdressed. One of my favourite songs is "As If We Never Said Goodbye" from Sunset Boulevard, it's meant to be sung by a world weary middle aged Woman, I feel I am suitable for this role to a certain extent. I also try and dress in a style appropriate to my age. I have just bought a fab summer dress from the Bon Marche shop in the U.K which is s suitable for my age without it being frumpy.

[Lynn Marie]

In about 45 days I'll be 70. Having been affected by the Peter Pan complex pretty much all my life, you can bet that my age is getting really hard to accept. Fortunately and thankfully, I'm usually mistaken for a younger middle-aged lady with a great wardrobe!

[I Am Paula]

Too soon old,
Too late smart.
If the information, the technology, and the knowledge had been there, I would have transitioned much sooner. Instead, I'm building the better senior citizen.

[Barbara Ella]

At 66, and only knowing my true self for 20 months, I can only say that I plan on trying to put almost 60 years of unknowing stupidity to wast in the remaining years. Even knowing the terrible times early on that the older girls went through, the 50's and 60's, pre internet, etc., I envy you having lived through that stage in your life. You might not have used it as beneficially as you would if you knew then what you know now, but it is in your memory box. You can treasure it as the hair gets grayer and sparser, and the feet hurt more and more from the same heels you wore "just yesterday."

"I yam what I yam," but that doesn't mean I can't make the most out of it.

Barbara

[weyburn]

I am 59 and have crossdressed off and on for many years.My wife passed away due to cancer related illness awhile back.If I was born a girl there were many things I would not have done including going down many roads that we travelled together with a wonderful woman.I know there would have other different adventures but I am glad I am who I am and very greatful for what I have done.My wife knew about my CDing and was ok with it as long as it stayed in the confines of our home and sometimes she would ask me to come to bed dressed and help me a bit with make up,shoes,which outfits to wear with what.as I am physically,socially,mentally(least I think so)financially etc ok I am satisfied to be who I am and proud to be a crossdresser

[Miriam-J]

Nearly 53 now, and loving it more than 40, 30, or 20. I'd never want to turn the clock back. Definitely no acceptance problems there.

I've also become quite comfortable with my crossdressing - finally, and just in the last year. But I think I'm more comfortable with the age.

Miriam

[Dianne S]

As a relative spring chicken (46), I wouldn't go back. I feel far more able to be myself and not care about what others think than when I was younger.

[stacycoral]

I can accept my age and who I am.
If I knew all this at 20 I would have done SRS.

I agree with Tracii 100%. hugs girl

[Karren H]

I'm never going to get old and die.... so far so good!

[docrobbysherry]

Kim, sorry, but you're wrong on every count. You're simply "settling" instead of really "living"!

First off, you're quite young. I didn't even start dressing until I was your age. I'm well over 60 now.

Second, altho I'm technically trans, I don't feel that way. I believe I'm simply a CD. Nothing more.

3rd. Of course I want to be a sexy young woman! And, I haven't let my age or man figure stop me!

U can settle. Or, u can live and do the things u REALLY WANT TO DO! Personally? I'll be living in the ground for a long time. So, when it's time to go, I want to minimize my regrets!

[MsRenee]

Im very happy to just be me even tho I turn 50 next year I dont feel that old.
Just have fun and go with the flow hehehe.
Renee

[RenneB]

This age thing really creeps up on you.... I'm hitting the double nickel and have the same bp and resting heart rate, 54, that I did when I was half this age. Staying this healthy takes a little more work though, I'll admit.

However, much like other's have said. If this tech was around back in the 70's.... I'd be in a different forum.... of that I'm sure.

Renne.....

[mikiSJ]

I have 66 years of creating who I am as today, that is my history and i can't do a thing about...tomorrow is my future and I am glad I found Miki in all of my mess to join in my journey, for however long that may be.

[Eryn]

My male self may be in his 50s, but Eryn is quite a lot younger than that. Female ages are somewhat, ummm...pliable, and women can do a lot more about their looks than men can.

[Erica Marie]

If I knew at 18 what I know now, I would have lived my life 110% different. But unfortunatly we learn as we grow old so now we must learn to live the way we are. Every day I am learning more and learning to be who I am.

[windycissy]

Yesterday at my annual physical the nurse informed me that I'm now 5'9", which most men would be bummed about, but I was secretly thrilled to have shrunken to a more womanly height that will make me more passable in heels!

[kimdl93]

I suspect that everyone, upon reaching a certain age, realizes that their best physical days are behind them. But it's unhealthy and unrealistic to lament the passage of time and youth or regret missing opportunities we never knew we had.

We live now, in this very moment, so make the most of it.

[PretzelGirl]

I am okay with the way I am whether it refers to age, trans, or my ugly mug. Would I have liked to have explored myself when I was a youngster? Sure. But that time has passed and I am more focused on doing what I can with myself now.

[Nikki A.]

I can't change the past, so why worry about it. If I had the knowledge then that I do now, I'm sure I would have done a lot of things differently. But looking back at all the things that I have gone through I'm not so sure it would have been better.

[Stephanie47]

I see many of the comments indicate a readiness to become a female or wish they have had SRS. As a MtF crossdresser I am perfectly content to have been a male. There is nothing wrong with being a female. Not every MtF crossdresser necessarily wishes he was born a female or would become a female. Life as a female is not necessarily all pretty dresses and high heels.

As to the age factor, yep, I expect one day to look like my grandmothers. Hopefully, I will not look like the one that had a mustache.

[sandra-leigh]

When I first started Going Out fully made up, I really wanted to appear... not "cute", but sort of "desirable".

I had lived too much in my head, was appreciated primarily for the things I did for people, and due to my upbringing had "locked away" my physical existence. The opposite of "I'm not just a pretty face"; a "Can't I be a pretty face sometimes??" To have people look at me, and not necessarily say "Wow, I'd like to get her in bed!", but at least smile to themselves in appreciation of my looking nice, and to at least have that fleeting thought of "I wouldn't mind if something were to happen between us". To be amongst those who get complimented, instead of being amongst those who get mentally filtered out as "background" or "boring people" or the "also-rans who are probably not worth talking to". And Yes, at the time, to be perceived partly as a sexual being instead of as a nebbish.

It didn't take me more than about 3 sessions going out to realize that no matter how I dressed, no matter how much care I put into my makeup, that I simply wasn't going to be that kind of person. That there is something "glance and forget" about me. :sad:

Once I realized that, my dressing gradually become more and more about something I needed and Dang what other people think. When you are sick with need to be yourself, whether the dress is "to die for!" can be almost irrelevant compared to just being female.

By way of analogy: if you were laid off, would you become "an unemployed insurance broker who has an interrupted hobby of collecting famous guitars", or would you become "an unemployed musician who keeps an eye open for Day Jobs because they pay the bills" ?

Since I got laid off nearly a year ago, I haven't looked much, I haven't bought much, but now as far as the public is concerned, skirt or dress is Just How I Am. I am not "someone else" these days, I am the 50+ publicly transgender person, becoming more and more "just one of those facts of life in the City". If I am going to be a "background person", then I might as well be a female-ish background person.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate my body being a decade more healthy, but at some point one moves from "planning" life in another gender, to "quietly living it" -- that eventually one may find it better to be a "frumpy woman" than a "handsome man".

[Beverley Sims]

I was fortunate, I was 20 and living my dream then.
I still live my dream.
I have been fortunate.

[noeleena]

Hi,

One reccuring detail that comes out is had i known then 20 ,30 or how ever long ago . knowing what i know now...it would have been so different.
yes we can look back we can wonder the what if.

So many of us are well over the age of 50. ill be 66 in aug, comeing . quite frankly i would not wont to go back because over the last 20 years even though 8 were pure ...HELL.... for Jos & i im glad we went through that , we both have grown become stronger yes things have changed for us & family it really was a proveing time for For Jos & i .

I have allways known i was female a weird one at that . yet there was a time for myself to grow into a woman. not before 20 years ago. all i know is the timeing was right, & every detail was right & the help in many matters was worked out my age now is my time & where im am ment to be, so my life is compleat .

Even though i knew before , it could not have worked or would have been the right time, my past was to allow a time to be born a time to grow & now its my time to live, & how long that too has been worked out. So much has happened in my life for it to not be right, when you have a peace with in & know where your ment to be you cant help knowing you can be happy & content,

...noeleena...

[Amanda M]

Right now I am 67, but I do9n't think may avatar photo really shows that too much. Any views to the contrary, are obviously unacceptable!!! I am slimmer and fitter than I have ever been since my military days, and I'm trying to keep it that way.

Growing old may not be the best fun, but it's a damn sight better than the alternative!

So to all you more mature ladies - good health!

[Angela Campbell]

Ok so I wish I could have transitioned at 20 or younger. I could not then it was just not an alternative for me. I will just have to do it now.

[bobbimo]

Its the AGE!!
Hands down.
the eye shadow is a mess with soft droopy lids, and there just isnt anyway to cover all the wrinkles and dry skin.
Ah we grow old too soon and smart to late.
Bobbi

[CherylFlint]

When I'm dressed as Cheryl I look 10-20 years younger.
Heck, Cheryl's wig covers my balb spot and receeding hairline.
Cheryl's makeup cover my lines on my face.
Cheryl's eyeliner, lash extenders, makes her eyes sparkle.
Cheryl's lipstick is out of this world.
And Chery's wardrobe, from girdles, stockings, bras, belts, earrings, is eaily ten times that of the drab me.
Cheryl has multipel wigs, shoes, suits, skirts, blouses, corsets, rings, must be 30 different lipsticks, etc., while the drab me doesn't have a heck of a lot.

[Tina B.]

69 fat and bald, and I don't care, when I put on a dress, I feel fine. I might not be that cute twenty something, but when I was I was broke, now I may not be as pretty, but I can afford to dress in a lot nicer manner than I could back then. And being retired, gives me a lot of free time to play!

[Jessica Keys]

Good for you Tina as I feel the same. We couldn't afford a new four thousand car when we were younger but, now being older we go in and look at thirty four thousand cars to drive out.
It's like the 84 year old lady that just won the power ball lottery of over five hundred million. She's thinking ....if I was only younger?

[Frédérique]

…is it harder for us to accept that we are crossdresser/transgender or is it harder to accept that if today we could change to the gender we favor we will never be the young cute girl some of us want to be?

I accept that I’m a crossdresser. I do NOT accept that I’m transgender. Let’s not combine the two terms, even though I know that TG is employed as a euphemism for CD on this site. I’m a transvestite, OK?

Also, I never wanted to be a “young, cute girl.” For one thing, it’s impossible, and it has ALWAYS been impossible. At this point in my life I would much rather be a young, cute boy who dons a dress now and then – I think that is the very definition of crossdresser…

At this point in time, acceptance is a foregone conclusion… :straightface:

[SarahVA]

58 and still in the closet and questioning what exactly I am, LOL but trying to take some baby steps out. Of course I would not trade age for time because of a wonderful family, but I can't help wondering "what if"... I think had I taken a different path when younger (as to school, profession, etc), I very likely would have questioned whether I was TG earlier and probably figured it out with a likely different path being followed. If I were younger... would very definitively want to be a "young cute girl" or maybe just a "young woman"... but I am not...just wondering if I should be an "older middle-age woman" (note the cute is missing, LOL).

[stephNE]

I absolutely accept being a crossdresser. There is no problem here, this is just who I am.
As for accepting my age (54), well there is no choice here, but it is very hard to think about all the years and how quickly they have passed.

[Debra Russell]

Old - not me : just gott'a figure out this time warp gender thingie.........................Debra

[Lorileah]

I can accept my age and who I am.
If I knew all this at 20 I would have done SRS.

:yt: Besides I am 39...as long as I can "pass" that off... OK 45

[Kristy 56]

Definitely the age for me.Turned 60 this year,and can't help but look back and remember how difficult it was to cd 40 years ago.

[mikiSJ]

Yesterday at my annual physical the nurse informed me that I'm now 5'9", which most men would be bummed about, but I was secretly thrilled to have shrunken to a more womanly height that will make me more passable in heels!

When I left the Navy in 1967 I was 6'0", now I am 5'10". With the creaking in my spine daily letting me know I am now 66, I am not sure I want to lose much more height - but I do wish I had stayed at 5'7" way back when.

[Darla Jean]

Goodness, this is a bit complicated because there are just so many variables to consider in the discussion. I'm 64, happy being male and dress when I can to look my age and who I am. I'm not beautiful, sexy or hot - but I am the female Darla when I dress and that makes me feel good. Indeed, I'm finding as I observe that gg women also come in multiple sizes, shapes and looks. So I feel fortunate that I have the ability to explore my femininity, knowing at the same time that I am male and ain;t nothing going to change that at this point in my life.

[jackielou]

kim please update us with a current picture i believe you would still be a fine and pass with no problem

[BillieJoEllen]

I'm glad I've gotten to the age I am. I can't stop thinking about how different things would have been back in the day if all this present knowledge was available to me back then. Using university libraries I could only find less than 1/10th of 1% of what I know now. I used to do a lot of research. I know I would be a fully reassigned woman now but probably wouldn't visit this site very much.

[Kathy Smith]

I accept that I’m a crossdresser. I do NOT accept that I’m transgender. Let’s not combine the two terms, even though I know that TG is employed as a euphemism for CD on this site. I’m a transvestite, OK?

Also, I never wanted to be a “young, cute girl.” For one thing, it’s impossible, and it has ALWAYS been impossible. At this point in my life I would much rather be a young, cute boy who dons a dress now and then – I think that is the very definition of crossdresser…

At this point in time, acceptance is a foregone conclusion… :straightface:


You read my mind too easily. :)
I too am a crossdresser and quite contented with that. It did take me a while at first to accept it, but that's over now.

You appear to have the advantage of age, but I don't think I'm doing too badly for 60 year old with 3 kids and 6 grandchildren. (picture in profile - taken on my 60th birthday last year). No-one has ever questioned me about my crossdressing while I've been out.

[Jaymees22]

I accept my age and that I'm a crossdresser. I try to look my best which is hopefully younger than my age of 68. Jaymee

[Bonnie Stone]

Let's see, I'm 60 and have only been dressing for the past year, I accept what I am and the age thing is just that, A thing, so I have just accepted being the old lady that I am, LOL, Bonnie

[Kim_Bitzflick]

kim please update us with a current picture i believe you would still be a fine and pass with no problem

I posted on page 19 of the male/female sticky in the pictures section.

[MssHyde]

I can accept my age and who I am.
If I knew all this at 20 I would have done SRS.

I may have been in this same boat

["Mary"]

Great question I've come to grips with being a CD. I just wish I had acted on it 20 years earlier.

[Darla Jean]

Age is a state of mind - health is the important thing. If one is young but not healthy, then they feel old. If one is old and healthy, then they should feel young. I'm nearing the "taker" stage, about ready to start both Medicare and Social Security (and I do intend to take them as I've been a maker my whole life). But I feel pretty young and still enjoy high heels, a frilly dress and some wonderful makeup that makes me look younger!

[Christie ann]

Its the age thing. You know the same story about if I had only known then what I know now, I probably would have transitioned before I met my wife and history would be quite different.

[NathalieX66]

I'm officially a transgender person.

I decided to die in my birth namesake, but I'm me., no matter how I present myself. if I do hormones so be it.

As Ringo of the Beatles always says......Peace & luv, Peace & luv.

[Sabrina133]

age, damn i hate getting old.

[Kate Simmons]

Well maybe not twenty something any more Kim but when I "femme up" I more or less "De-age" myself by twenty or so years. This is according to other observers not myself. Now tell my aching "dogs" that after a night of dancing at the club.:heehee::)

[Donna Joanne]

I can accept my age and who I am.
If I knew all this at 20 I would have done SRS.

I feel exactly the same Tracii. Had I had the internet and support then I do now I'd have transitioned in my early 20's.

[Julie Gaum]

Interesting to read all the posts that allege that they have become smarter with age, and wiser too. For me the older I get the more I realize how little I know. In fact with the advent of the cell/mobile phones that become obsolete the day purchased, I'm totally blown away with things I know nothing about. Then I try to compromise with myself and think "well, I am wiser", but how do I know that for sure for opportunities to prove it to myself, at 88, have greatly diminished? With makeup I am sure that I look like, maybe, a lady in her late seventies so I'll settle with that. On the other hand who gives a s--t? Live for today as best you can and laugh at memories past,
good and bad. My hind-sight isn't even 20-20 for most past bad decisions I would make again given the same set of circumstances. Wandering again.
Julie

[paulaprimo]

as a late bloomer, i can handle my age, but would certainly love to be in my 20's again, and able to dress in the hot sexy clothes younger girls wear today.
they just don't look the same on me now...lol :)

[Sam-antha]

It is not the age that matters it is (amongst other things) attitude. Awareness counts too but it is not so critical, after all I was aware in my twenties, but that was sixty years ago.
Anyway, as Karren says ( speaking roughly) " I have not died a winter yet" and I have had a few of them. In fact 84 and this pic is from around four years back.
~Samm

[sandra-leigh]

In the last decade, I not only "got older" but I "aged a lot".

Life at 40 was still a lot ahead of me, lots of time yet to do nice things, lots to learn, and a feeling of "I can't think of the slightest reason why I wouldn't want to live to be very old".

But the last decade was spent ill and depressed, and life doesn't feel so rosy, and sometimes it drags on, and at times I feel like "Unless something miraculous happens, life is probably going to continue to be a struggle, and if I were to die in another 10 or 15 years, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing." A rest from the sandpaper of life. This difference between where I was mentally a decade ago and now is "aging" rather than "getting older".

[Rachel Morley]

What's harder to accept? In my my view, knowing that I will never be a young cute 20 something female is absolutely crushing :sad:

[Anacita]

There's no question in my mind that sexuality Isaac much hotter issue than age. Much less so now than previously, certainly, but sexuality remains a hot button issue.

Ana

[steftoday]

I mentioned to the therapist I've started seeing that I have a bit of remorse in that I wish the resources that were available now would have been available back when I was in my 20s. She reminded me that we have no idea how well a transition would have gone 30 years ago, and the fact that had I transitioned then, my kids likely would have never been born, drugs and surgery were more "archaic" then, etc.

No use crying over spilled milk. Take advantage of what you know now, and what's available now, and live the remainder of your life as best you can, in a way that makes you whole.

It's all we can do, friends.

[melissakozak]

I think I echo what many have said. As a 40 something T girl, I would have transitioned at age 20 IF the resources available to us now were available twenty some years ago...but as some have said, there is no use crying over spilled milk. Most of us have made the best of the situation. Now, with job and family firmly in my life, I am not willing to give any of it up to live full time and transition....price is too steep for me. So, it has been harder for me to adjust to being a bigendered person more than anything. I have seen a gender counselor for about one year now and she has gotten me to a place of understanding of where I am on all of this, and she agrees, transition is a last resort. So, I have struggled mightily to make sense of exactly who I am, and I have come to the conclusion that I am more or less TS, and just yesterday, I explained that when I dress up in boy mode, I am crossdressing and when I am in girl mode, I feel this is more a reflection of who I am inside, but I am still crossdressing, so psychologically, I am crossdressing all the time....interesting concept. This level of understanding about who I am has been important, and many of us T girls have been socialized as males, so we get to enjoy some particular advantages of male privilege that I find hard to just let go of. I am a fashionista in boy mode and girl mode, and I get my nails done in boy mode and highlight my hair in boy mode...I also lift light weights and make beer. In other words, I have become completely gender fluid....I don't worry about what clothes I am wearing, I am still 'me.'

[Norah_joy]

I am 73 and I don't spend much time thinking about how old I am. I am happy that I'm healthy and continue to work at staying fit. I am also comfortable that I have a femine side; something that wasn't the case when I was younger. I do admit that I wish I could have been a prom queen! Norah

[Sejd]

Being transgendered is a pain in the ass, but so is old age. Either we take it laughing or we give up, so what's the choice?

[SnowPrincess]

I am 70 and have only started dressing a year ago. The double whammy of age and discovering the feminine side is difficult. Unfortunately, as has been said, the older I get the less I really know. When this is coupled with the mystery of cross dressing, it all becomes very confusing. Unfortunately, there are no "do overs" with life.

[Loni]

for me i can not accept my age.
as i am to young to be old.
at 54 one has a lot to look back on, but how they see it depends on how they feel,
as a cd/ts i wish i had done some thing differently but accepting my self as i am is easy,
age is a state of mind trying to over come reality, being trans is just being...you.
but then look around my room what is male? as there are no male clothing here, except for the rideing leathers. just do not care for the look of what is sold as ladys gear.

so at least for me. age is harder to live with then gender.
as jumping on the moto for a good long hard ride i get all twisted up but only in the tired old body. get home a hot shower and relax in something soft, cup of hot tea. that is the life.