2nd opinions

[arbon]

some idaho towns have been enacting anti discrimination ordinances for sexual orientation and gender identity and I keep feeling this strong urge to try to get the town where I work to follow and do the same because so far they have not considered it.

I wrote a pretty good letter (for me not easy to do!) to the city administrator to see if I can get any kind of movement from them in that direction.

Its what I want to do it, what I feel compelled to do.

But I know to that if I stick my name out there like that my boss will hear about it, and other business owners in the community will also likely hear about it. So there is risk.

Right now I am on decent terms with my employer and doing this could stick me back on his S*** list once he finds out. Do I really want to chance it?

So I have been holding back, trying to decide if I really should or not. The best thing for me is to say low, don't cause trouble. Be safe.
Which is basically still living in fear of discrimination. I have hard time with that. Which makes me want to lash back a bit like with this proposal to the city.

Any thoughts?

[Ann Louise]

Here's my approach,

Integrate yourself into local and national LGBTQ organizations, and be active. Better yet, associate with any trans organizations if there are any nearby, and act as a collective of individuals to advance your social and political agendas. Even if you don't make particular headway on that issue in that town, you will provide a valuable contribution to our sisters and brothers none the less. We always need one more activist.

I have made many very good friends this way, too!

Ann

[Michelle.M]

But I know to that if I stick my name out there like that my boss will hear about it, and other business owners in the community will also likely hear about it. So there is risk.

Right now I am on decent terms with my employer and doing this could stick me back on his S*** list once he finds out. Do I really want to chance it?

When I was married my stepson informed he was going to participate in a school walkout in protest of some issue. We discussed this, and I told him that if he felt strongly about the issue that he should follow his conscience but that he should be prepared to pay the price.

He's from another country, so I told him about the history of the American tradition of civil disobedience and that the practice of civil disobedience might result in some sort of legal action, such as going to jail or, in this case, a period of school suspension.

I told him that I'd support his decision as long as he was willing to pay the price, because although he had my support he needed to know that I expected him to walk his talk all the way and that I was not going to be one of those whiny parents who cried "foul" when their little angels get suspended for a suspendable offense.

He weighed his support for the issue and then opted not to participate, but he did know that he had my support either way.

So the question is - are you willing to put your job or reputation on the line for this? Is this the battle where you're willing to earn a war wound?


The best thing for me is to say low, don't cause trouble. Be safe.
Which is basically still living in fear of discrimination. I have hard time with that. Which makes me want to lash back a bit like with this proposal to the city.

I have recently decided to be more out with respect to my gender history. I didn't need to out myself, as I pass very well and nobody in my city knows me from my old life. But given some issues that I've been confronted with (as well as several other factors) I concluded that my being out would serve the common good better than my maintaining stealth.

So far I haven't had any backlash (it's early in the process), but I had to weigh that cost before I decided to open my mouth. Being safe was comfortable, but being comfortable makes me less able to be effective at combatting discrimination.

Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you based on the considerations at hand, if only at least for now. And it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind, so follow your instincts and I believe that it'll work out.

[celeste26]

Actually, there is enough of a movement out there to claim it is "a matter of justice" and not specifically related to yourself. And while some people might make the connection, it wont be the same as outing yourself and removing all doubt.

[KellyJameson]

In my opinion as a transsexual it is important to always think about your safety and survival first and changing the environment we live in second.

You want to make change but stay invisible to those who may hurt you.

Always think of yourself as a spy operating on foreign soil.

I have seen so much violence done against those on the LGBT spectrum that only working in groups would I recommend public activism but as an individual, particularly as a transsexual because you have the least amount of protection of anyone on the LGBT spectrum stay invisible as much as possible in your own backyard unless you already live in a very tolerant area.

A transsexual living in San Francisco will elicit a different response from the public than one living in Idaho even though I have been chased by haters even in San Francisco.

Be proud of who and what you are but stay safe because you will not be able to bring about positive change from a hospital or cemetery.

[mary something]

perhaps a letter to the opinion section of the local newspaper also? There would be no need to out yourself but simply identify yourself as a neighbor, friend, coworker. If it gets published it will produce letters in response, and you might find allies for this action.

[kimdl93]

I go along with the idea of working through a local, regional or national LGBTQ group. They can take the heat better than an individual. As for putting your name out there, I would say that you don't have to take on the whole world. If someone asks, tell them you believe defending everyone's personal rights, regardless of gender, etc, etc.

[Angela Campbell]

Just speaking for me, I do not mess with the job if I do not have to. I would keep it under the radar and find a way to get involved without being to visible. You spend too many hours at work for it to become uncomfortable.

[arbon]

There is no local lgbt orginization, regional yes but I am not really connected with it.
Paper not a chance would I do that, they require your full name be published in the opinions here.


So the question is - are you willing to put your job or reputation on the line for this? Is this the battle where you're willing to earn a war wound


Even though I believe in the cause I don't think I am really ready to do what I was thinking of doing, my answer after some more thought today. I'm going to let go of it. Maybe someone else will push for it.

I can be compulsive, get it in my mind to do something and just do it. Sometimes that can be good, sometimes not so good.

I think a lot of my motivation stems from still being bitter about my experience transitioning on the job.
Even though I kept my job and things are better now, and am fortunate for that, it was a really horrible experience
and I felt so alone and trapped in the situation.
I look back at it now, I don't even know how to put it, it sucked big time.

I just want it to be easier for the next person not to have to go through that sort of crap.

But I have already helped in many ways because I did transition in place
and very visibly in a in community that had not really had the issue come up before
so it brought a lot awareness, and some more understanding just by me doing it and living my life

and think I should just be content with that for now and hold off pushing any agenda.

Thanks for all the feedback

[I Am Paula]

Has your town been having a known problem with discimination? If the town 'vibe' is pretty good about it already, I wouldn't rock the boat. In my town I kinda like the status quo. If I kicked up a fuss, the good townsnspeople might say 'Egad, there's transexuals in our fine hamlet? We must do something!'.
If your town IS having problems, it's a human rights issue, and there are groups, and advocates who would love to step in, without your name being involved.