Do you believe in your identity?

[Frédérique]

This place sometimes feels like the battlefield of gender identity. Many have assumed the position, namely an identity, and they defend it with all their might. To others, identity is less of an issue, or a foregone conclusion, so no discussion, or belief, is necessary. Where do you fit in? Do you believe in your gender identity?

If you DO, how did this come about? Maybe you’ve survived a long struggle with your identity, or perhaps you’re just being obstinate, for whatever reason. Have you assumed a certain identity, and now find yourself in over your head? Maybe belief is different from tacit acceptance, or surrender...

For those of you who don’t believe in your gender identity, or question it, where do you stand? Are you trying to believe, and it’s difficult to do so? Has crossdressing changed the playing field forever? I mean, who (or what) ARE you, and where are you going?

MtF crossdressing briefly made me question my identity, but I stayed right where I was. I DO believe in my gender identity, in fact being a crossdresser has helped immensely. These days, I know what I am, yet I still crossdress frequently, just for the sake of crossdressing. Would you hate me if I lived for living’s sake?

I don’t believe in many things, but I certainly believe in ME. I would recommend crossdressing to anyone, of any gender. It may help you to believe in yourself, or find your true “self.”

What do you think? I imagine that, for many people, the quest for gender identity is ongoing, and crossdressing may just represent a step, or a series of steps, along the way...

:straightface:

[NathalieX66]

After reading about the Navy SEAL Team 6 member who came out as transgender, she said it best in her quote: "the soul is genderless"........something like that.
I like that interpretation.:)

[Tracii G]

I do feel that I have found my unique identity which is a cross between the genders.
Some days more female than male and more male than female other days.Its quite a comfy place to be IMO.
Being able to go either way is truly a fun thing.
Great thread Freddy.

[Sabrina133]

Yes, i feel completely comfortable in my identity. Had you asked me that 10 years ago, i would probably have said "No." Given all the water that has passed under the bridge namely life experiences, decisions and outcomes and finally the partners i've been lucky and unlucky enough to be with have all contributed to my identity, I am finally happy and comfortable with who i am.

[Donna Joanne]

I guess my "defining" moment was when I realized I'm a female, which makes me in this world of labels we live in a MtF Transexual. All it did for me was make me the same person I always have been, just changed my classification in the view of others. I am Donna. That doesn't change. What does change is how the world perceives Donna, and how I present myself to the world.

MtF Transexuals are living life incognito. We want the world to know who we are, while not standing out. We want to be accepted for who we are, and in doing so become secure in our identities. To be accepted as the females we are is the ultimate goal for a MtF.

Crossdressers are more like "superheros", they have their public and then their "secret female" identities. They want to live in both modes and be able to switch at will. Most have no desire to actually live as a woman, just to be accepted as female while presenting "en femme".

It is the worldview that has lumped us together as Transgendered. We are as different as night and day, and at the same time similar is so many ways. I've probably just muddied the waters more than cleared them.

[Tracii G]

Totally get where you are coming from Donna.

[Darla Jean]

I feel like Tracii - I feel I am fortunate to have two worlds in which to live, one male and one female. I spend much more time in my male world, but when I dress or even converse on this forum, I let my female side come out. It is a great feeling and one that I feel fortunate to have. All that being said, I am a male and that will always be my predominant leaning.

[kimdl93]

I'm just me. The struggle was for years an effort to deny part of myself. I didn't change gender identity, i simply learned to accept all that I am.

[Lucy_Bella]

I have no doubt how I identify , I am the same person in DRAG as I am DRAB..The only thing that has ever made me doubt my identity was cross dressing its self.. I don't dress to feel like the opposite sex I dress to emulate and express ..

I love the gender I emulate ,to me there is nothing in this world (beside family and friends) I love more than the female gender..The beauty , the attraction and the grace of the female body, who wouldn't want to emulate it? I am overly obsessed to see that appearance looking back at me when emulating .. And even though realistically I fail to achieve the true appearance of my ideal of a beautiful lady, my mirrors lie very well for me..

This doesn't in anyway explain my desires as a child to dress before puberty ,I guess ,in the end, my dressing has no explanation other than I have grown to accept about myself ..I gave up looking for answers as to why I dress..But then again intervention and up bring could have guided me to the balance I have learned to live with today.. I can honestly say I am very happy with the gender identity I was born as although it wasn't always that way..

[docrobbysherry]

After living 50 years with nary a thot about which gender I was, CDing threw me completely off kilter! I suddenly assumed that I was meant to be female and waited patiently for the TS shoe to drop! After 5 years with not one sign that there's something female about me other than that image in the mirror, I believe NOW is my defining moment! I'm as Donna says, "I am what I've been my entire life". Only in my case, it's a man. I simply get excited about appearing to be a female.

And then, everything else Donna said applies to me, too. Which I find a little confusing---?

I guess my "defining" moment was when I realized I'm a female, which makes me in this world of labels we live in a MtF Transexual. All it did for me was make me the same person I always have been, just changed my classification in the view of others. I am Donna. That doesn't change. What does change is how the world perceives Donna, and how I present myself to the world.

MtF Transexuals are living life incognito. We want the world to know who we are, while not standing out. We want to be accepted for who we are, and in doing so become secure in our identities. To be accepted as the females we are is the ultimate goal for a MtF.

Crossdressers are more like "superheros", they have their public and then their "secret female" identities. They want to live in both modes and be able to switch at will. Most have no desire to actually live as a woman, just to be accepted as female while presenting "en femme".

It is the worldview that has lumped us together as Transgendered. We are as different as night and day, and at the same time similar is so many ways. I've probably just muddied the waters more than cleared them.

[Jennifer Kelly]

Crossdressers are more like "superheros", they have their public and then their "secret female" identities. They want to live in both modes and be able to switch at will. Most have no desire to actually live as a woman, just to be accepted as female while presenting "en femme".

This is me. I'm happy being a guy. I just want to dress up like a girl sometimes. :)

I'm not sure I agree with lumping CD in as transgender, but that's a discussion for another time.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I know who i am allways have from age 10. never doughted it for a moment. it was not male or female it was both cant escape that no matter what.

Now for others oh dear.... different story how i was percived by most people who knew me or did they really, most no they never had the chance. so missed out on who i was then , now well most all know im id' ed as a female. I know a few know i did not wont to be a female / woman as to being a male i did not wont to be that ether. yet when you both it sort of was right, I know some will think how can that be well it just is & i dont know any other way. like i was asked what would you like to be male or female how can i answer that ? , i cant. because when it comes down to the bottom i really dont know so when i look at males , i dont relate to them. when i look at female i do relate in many ways , yet what gets to me is , i dont have my womb those who know will understand.

Hey you become a misfit weird not quite all there, so you miss out on both counts not being one or the other.
so my id others just accept im a female / woman so theres my id . one thing about being weird is you dont have to prove who or what you are, so there is that advantange, though sad to say for very few & im glad of that , they cant accept im female they dont wont to know why im different, thats sad, so how do you prove you are female. im not talking about the legal aspect or my birth cert that just says female at birth. its in will they ever accept .

so maybe id is importaint, oh well back to the drewing board. .....

There is a miner point i have grown into a woman, so maybe that says more about who i am so i must be female enough to get to that point.
maybe i dont have enough faith in myself sometimes,

Fredeirque. stop rocking my b......y boat..... im haveing a good laugh so its cool.......

Does not mean im not happy of cause i am. just not compleat thats all. i dont get over seriouse about it ether.

...noeleena....

[Kalista Jameson]

I guess I am not that complicated when it comes to defining my identity these days. I am what I am whatever it is and just enjoy the freedom of my wardrobe. I'm just a dude who loves women and enjoys dressing like them. I really am that simple. Other people can ponder me, I'm too busy trying on dresses and skirts. :)

Cheers,

Kalista

[Raychel]

Interesting question, Do I believe in my identity?

I guess to answer that question most honestly, I would have to know for sure who I was.
I have questioned that very thing for years. Always in a bit of self doubt.
Did I do the right thing, Did I say the right thing, Always that question.
So I guess to believe in my identity, I would have to believe in myself first.

I guess after typing this and thinking this thru, I better seek professional help :daydreaming:

[Jenniferathome]

I have never struggled with my gender identity. I'm a guy. When I dress, I am a guy who likes to dress. I feel like I must be the most well adjusted cross dresser on the planet. Pragmatism is a good thing. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar, to paraphrase a well known Freudian story.

[Frédérique]

I came across the title phrase in a book, i.e. “Belief in your own identity,” but I turned it into a question. The book was all about cultivating individuality by embracing those things that make each of us unique…


Crossdressers are more like "superheros", they have their public and then their "secret female" identities. They want to live in both modes and be able to switch at will. Most have no desire to actually live as a woman, just to be accepted as female while presenting "en femme". It is the worldview that has lumped us together as Transgendered. We are as different as night and day, and at the same time similar is so many ways. I've probably just muddied the waters more than cleared them.

Oddly enough, I don’t have a secret female persona. I simply dress, and that’s that. I had to create a female identity for this site, secret or otherwise, because it's mandatory. When I am in the midst of my crossdressing, I am still ME, although dressed differently…

BTW, thanks VERY MUCH for pointing out the difference between CD and TG. I sometimes feel alone around here, a lonely voice in a lonely wilderness. It can be very exhausting, under the (fill in your own adjective) circumstances…


NOW is my defining moment! I'm as Donna says, "I am what I've been my entire life". Only in my case, it's a man. I simply get excited about appearing to be a female.

That’s just IT! I get excited “appearing to be a female.” If only others would recognize this simple idea. I’m exactly the same as when I was a little boy, right back where I started, only now I have made peace with my male identity. Crossdressing has answered a lot of questions, in my case, and, if anything, it has brought my identity into sharper focus. These days I crossdress simply because it feels good, and it’s fun, in fact it’s a BLAST…


Fredeirque. stop rocking my b......y boat..... im haveing a good laugh so its cool.......

No boat-rocking intended, darling – I get seasick very easily. In fact, I once got seasick floating in an inflatable rubber boat in a duck pond! True story…:puke:

[sandra-leigh]

As I saw it phrased not long ago:

"Does a fish believe in water?"

[kimdl93]

I've given this question some more thought and, naturally asked myself more questions ...

Do I like who I am?..yes, after a lifetime of answering no to myself.

Do I want to change? ...as in not being TG....no, after a lifetime of wishing I was different ...normal

[AmyGaleRT]

I have come to accept the fact that my soul is part-female. Even in guy mode, I feel my Amy-self's presence; she'll see a particularly well-dressed woman and go "Ooh, pretty!", or she'll hear a song on the radio that makes her want to dance. And, when she sees a lady wearing something nice up close, she'll check details, like what shoes she's wearing, what jewelry she has on, how she does her hair, and so forth. It's a little distracting sometimes, but I can feel the enthusiasm, and it's a nice thing.

Of course, as Amy, my male self is still here "in the background" as well, helping coordinate the basic things Amy does like driving. She and I make a nicely-coordinated team, two and yet one. (Funny note: This evening Sabrina said something to the effect of, "If I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't put up with you like I do, girl--I mean, dude." I grinned and said, "Both terms are accurate!" :))

- Amy

[Kate's at home]

Another thought provoking thread from Freddie...

Actually, I am aware of this question daily, to varying degrees of conscious awareness.

I agree with Tracii in recognizing daily degrees of variability. Shifting around...

I would say with the variances in perception in mind, at the core I identify as male. No question. So much of each day is engaged in a range of activities and role functions in context.

Yet, each day in dressing, I do find within some source of feminine energy, and another side of me comes out, or is at least felt within.

Re-balancing the (gender) scales, if you were?

Over time, I still don't really understand...I have come to accept, and appreciate however.

Kate

[Cheryl T]

It's taken many years but over the last 10 (having come out completely to my wife) I can at last say that I am comfortable in who I am.

[Beverley Sims]

Frédérique,
I lost my identity card years ago.
I think identity is something like a label.

[Lynn Marie]

After spending way too much of my youth trying to prove my identity, in my later years I'm completely content with who I turned out to be! Definitely not what I thought I would be, but happy and a bit amused at the silly boy/girl you see before you. Life has never been better.

[Barbara Ella]

There is belief, and acceptance.

In my mind, belief requires quite a bit of intellectual investment and analysis, and enough time to really get to know yourself.

I have neither of those, so the best I can do is acceptance. I do accept, and treasure, who I am.

Barbara

[Kimberly Kael]

[COLOR="black"]This place sometimes feels like the battlefield of gender identity.

Understandably so, in my opinion. Growing up I was certainly never encouraged to be introspective about my gender identity. From birth I had an identity assigned as if it were a fact, and that was that. It works just fine for the vast majority for whom that's a match, but the rest of us have little or no opportunity to explore until we find a community like this.


Where do you fit in? Do you believe in your gender identity?

It took me most of 40 years to figure it out, but yes. I know with certainty that I am a woman with a complicated history and a few genetic challenges.


If you DO, how did this come about?

Slowly. Gradually. My assigned gender wasn't a big deal as a child because my parents let me be fairly androgynous. I was content to pursue intellectual interests that are inherently non-gendered, and I could just ignore the distinction. Things got more complicated as a teen and I started to see the ways in which I didn't relate to others who were ostensibly of the same gender, even though we shared a fascination with girls. It took a while to figure out that my interest had overtones my friends didn't share. I started cross-dressing pretty much as soon as I started buying my own clothes but it still took decades to get comfortable with the idea that there was a lot more to it than clothing.

Eventually I found enough of our community to schedule a one-week en femme getaway with fellow TG/CDers as a way to understand myself better. How else was I supposed to test-drive a new identity? I embraced the feeling from the outset and found, to my surprise, that I was actually more comfortable than I had ever been in my life. I enjoyed socializing, danced the night away, and collapsed in tears the final night as I contemplated returning to what had been my life. One year later I returned to the same event with my wife and she came to understand that this really was who I was meant to be.

Everyone's truth is different. The important thing is to provide an opportunity for people to learn their truth. Hearing from others with their own unique experiences is an important part of that process. I still vividly remember a moment when I was about ten years old, when my gym teacher was playing Switched On Bach and I asked him about it. He mumbled something about Walter/Wendy and obviously got uncomfortable with the conversation. My immediate takeaway was that whoever this Wendy person was, her existence was basically unacceptable in polite society ... but I also got my first glimpse of a possibility I hadn't realized existed at all. I'm glad at least some kids today are exposed to a much less covert and stigmatizing discussion.

[Joanne f]

Yes I believe in my identity or to put it right for my case "Identity's " as I have an outward one which everyone else see's and an inner one which I see and feel which in a sense mix together to make what I like to call a hybrid gender , I accept that I am like this but the problem that I have is I find it hard to accept that other people will not accept my dressing to match my inner gender but are happy to accept my dressing to match my outer one , so where does cross dressing come into this , well for a start I have always found it hard to accept the concept that I do cross dress and this is not because I am ashamed of it or anything like that ( otherwise I would not be telling you that I dress in females clothes even though I know you will not tell anyone):straightface: it is because it just feels normal to me , it's what I should be wearing and I cannot understand why there is such a fuse from some people if I am wearing a skirt or a dress .
I would also recommend cross dressing to anyone even if it did not help them to believe in themselves it may help them believe in the fact that there is nothing wrong with it or the one's that enjoy doing it , maybe if they start believing in other people it will intern help them believe in themselves, everyone wins then .

[AlissaMurray]

Kalista, I thank you for that statement. I could not have said it better myself.

[ErinP]

I am who I am. No matter what clothes I wear. I am more comfortable on the feminine side of things. True. But as far as I'm concerned, i'm not the one with the problem. It's all the other "followers" in society that are too weak and uncomfortable in their own skin that are the problem. My only worry is for the children I have to raise. If I am hurt or worse by some non-educated idiot and can't finish my business on this earth, it would negatively impact others who depend on me. I love them dearly. Would I dress more if I could? You bet your panties.

So, Yes, I am comfortable in my identity. Being a cross-dresser is a gift. How I have gotten to this acceptance has been a long and tough journey. As has life itself. They are the same. We start with little knowledge, our parents give us a foundation, we chose to be educated, we get our REAL education in the real world. If able to face our fears, the reward is accepting who we are. Our own identity.

[MssHyde]

very good Donna, thank you for posting, your words will prick a lot of hearts