Going to Therapy Dressed

[Christine.Lolita]

In my last therapy session my therapist said she would be fine if I came to a session dressed. She knows that I like wearing Lolita dresses although she had not ever heard of that before she met me. The idea really has been rolling around in my head and I would like to do it. I would have a place in her office to change so I could do it without having to drive to her office dressed.
I am not sure what therapeutic value this would have and the suggestion took me by surprise. I have been telling her how much I would love to be dressed out of my house, but really do not have the courage to do it. Also, if I did dress to go to my therapy session I would want to be dressed non Lolita and I do not have anything to wear.
I really do not know what I should do even though I really want to do this.

[PaulaQ]

Christine, I think you should go to the session, and change into you Lolita dress. This is how you like to dress, it is how you present to the forum, there is nothing wrong with it, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. One of the girls in my group wore a lolita dress that she'd made herself. She looked really cute, and she was super happy.

I think you will probably derive a great deal of therapeutic value from doing this. You will feel liberated, I can almost guarantee this. Your therapist will see a part of you that you hide from the world, that will help them understand you better. I encourage you to do this in the strongest terms.

Good luck hon!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Christine.

I dont know if this is of any value for you. it may.

This is about confidence in your self & havieing the selfasurance to do something you dont normaly do.so just take it at face value.

One of my details was not like being around people most of my life, till about 7 years ago & it was hard to have the confidence to get to a place i was able to be around people, if you read my posts you may find that strange.

Now those clothes you'd like to wear to show in this case this woman , even if you do get dressed there just dont think about it go ahead & do .

II was some 6 years ago did the same thing though my women friend had known me for over 46 years, she had only seen me in shorts & tee top. so when i met up with her i said i would like you to see me as i will be for the rest of my life dressed as a woman even though id known her for so long i was not sure of the outcome.

as it was she was very accepting. at the time i had to trust her compleatly because i had no selfesteem no self worth or confidence in myself. & hated people seeing myself. no matter how i was dressed, so take it from some one who's been down that very hard road of oh heck what am i doing.

As you do get seen by others you do a litle more for your self , you gain confidence & you build on that. so with out any more i would sugest give it a go enjoy the time & have a neat day,.... okay......

...noeleena...

[kimdl93]

I'd agree, change while your at your session. It's not exactly everyday attire.

[melissakozak]

Do what is comfortable for you. It sounds to me like going out and about is something you would like to do. Well. Here is your chance to explore the world in a safe manner...go for it. I have gone to therapy sessions en femme (drove there in broad daylight) but I also don't wear my club outfits to counseling sessions! I wear jeans, a nice top and tone the make up down a bit....have fun with it....Melissa.

[Tina B.]

Maybe you could buy a cheap non Lolita dress. After the first time if comfortable, try the Lolita on another trip?

[JenniferR771]

I agree with Melissa; wear something very conservative your first time at her office. Maybe even (yuck) pants.
You have an advantage. My counselors never wanted to see me dressed. Conservative town, here, more churches than bars. The biggest mental health center has a religious base.

[Rachel Morley]

I see you your dilemma. By your own admission you would like to do it, but are also not sure what therapeutic value it would have and the suggestion took you by surprise. If I was you, I'd take your Lolita dress and hair and makeup etc etc and then change at her office. Then again, why is she suggesting this? What is she expecting to see? What if it doesn't make you feel the way it normally does (happy, relaxed and fulfilled?) and you feel stressed and uncomfortable because of the newness of the situation? I guess only you can decide what the likely outcome would be.

[Barbra P]

I believe there may be several reasons why your Therapist might think there would be therapeutic value in seeing you dressed en femme. Paula mentioned a feeling of being liberated and noeleena mentioned confidence and self-assurance, qualities you might experience immediately. Your Therapist has only heard about Christine and now she may want to actually meet Christine. She may be curious to see if you respond to her differently as Christine than you do as your male self. If you feel comfortable and at ease as Christine than she has an opportunity to explore a side of you that has been pretty much hidden from her and learn new things about you, and that will help her to help you.

I’ve been to several of my therapy sessions dressed en femme, as Barbra rather than my male self. The first time was the worst but I can’t say that I’m particularly comfortable going en femme even now. For me it involves a thirty-minute drive, walking through a busy parking lot and into a large medical center and across a fairly crowded lobby that has glass walls on two sides to reach the elevators. Upon arriving on the third floor I usually have to stand in line until one of the receptionists can check me in and then I go to the appropriate waiting area until my Therapist (Kelly) is ready for me.

When Kelly opens the door to the waiting area she always checks to see how I’m dressed and on those occasions when I’m en femme she will say something along the order of “Barbra, you can come in now.” Once out of the waiting area and in the back where all the offices are I’m OK, I’m completely comfortable and at ease with Kelly – not so much sitting in the waiting area.

The first time I wore jeans and a tee, along with bra and forms, wedge shoes, wig, makeup, jewelry, and a light floral fragrance. Kelly asked why I wore what I wore and I told her I wanted to blend in as much as possible, most of the women I saw in the medical center were dressed pretty casual, some more casual than I thought appropriate – I don’t thinks sweats are appropriate. She agreed with my reasoning and added that she thought that I blended well and she doubted if anyone took notice. Had to disagree with her there as there was a young boy (with his father) in the elevator and again in the waiting area and he certainly noticed, and stared for a good ten-minutes. She did suggest that the next time I come en femme that I should try coming in a dress or a skirt and nice blouse; which I did the following month – dress, hose, and black heels.

I have to add that when I leave Kelly’s office after going en femme I always feel great. My confidence has improved, heck after one session I stopped and went shopping rather driving straight home.

Bottom line, I’m with the others here that say you should do it. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear in the future that you bought some casual women’s clothes to wear to a session and that Christine is now in therapy.

[STACY B]

I go to my therapist dressed to ,, I can't drive across town naked anymore ,,lol,,, I'm on Probation still !!

[RitaJanelle1964]

I'm in therapy for a lot of personal issue that have nothing to do with crossdressing, but I probably see my therapist dressed as Rita almost as often as I go in guy mode. She actually encourages it if it makes me happy, so I imagine your therapist feels the same way. Don't worry so much about what others who see you might think--you owe them NOTHING! If nothing else, it'll make you feel good to be in the presence of someone else who supports what you're doing and doesn't judge--that alone should make you feel better. :)

[Kimberly Kael]

There's certainly no harm in it. If you want to dress for your session, go ahead and do it. It's a great opportunity to find out what it's like to interact with another person in a comfortable setting while dressed the way you want to, with zero risk of judgement.

[Michelle (Oz)]

I went to all but my first of five sessions with a psychologist dressed. I checked with her first that it would be OK to do so more for alerting her and her office to my presentation than seeking permission. I did wear somewhat more conservative clothes than I prefer.

Her response when we started the session was interesting. She appreciated the confidence that I placed in her and her office by presenting femme. She had alerted her staff to how I would be dressed and had used the opportunity to educate them on TG issues.

It went well!!

[Launa]

Give it a shot Christine, the therapist said it would be fine so leterrrr rip!

[STACY B]

I dressed an told my wife that's the one place we can all get away with it ,,, Remember were Nuts ,,,lol,,,, Its a Therapist ?

[Johnna.James]

I go to my therapist as Johnna about 50% of the time. She encourages me to do so based on my comfort level. I do dress to blend in all the time anyway so walking across the parking lot and into the office building is not to nerve racking at all. My therapist loves to observe the two distinct personalities between John and Johnna.
So I say get something that feels sexy but is not flashy and go for it. After you get through doing it the first time it will be much easier after that.
Hope this helps.
Johnna

[SaraNZ]

I also think being dressed at therapy would be a great idea...def be geting changed there however if going out dressed wasnt your thing.

[Kate's at home]

Going to therapy dressed as you/Christine is a great idea. Be 'that' directly with your therapist. It will give them a chance to know you and your TX intentions better, and the rapport will cetainly be different as a result, which should be extremely helpful to the therapeutic process!

Kate

[Beverley Sims]

Discuss it with your therapist...
I would not suggest anything too flamboyant though.

[Anita Luken]

This is a wonderful topic. I would so love to go the the therapist dressed. I hope to bring it up with him sometime soon. I have worn fem jeans and top and shoes, but never took my coat of in his office. I think if I did dress I would put on my makeup at home and bring my wig and dress inside and change at the office. Again a crowded lobby and my fear of being in such a large office crowd. I looks like this is a good day to discuss therapy visits. I look forward to more conversations.

[flatlander_48]

My therapist loves to observe the two distinct personalities between John and Johnna.

I think that's the part that could prove useful for C/L. There's been lots of discussion here about how we think and act while dressed and the differences from when we are not. Therapy being the inexact science that it is, the only way to find out if dressing is helpful is to actually do it.

[Princess Chantal]

I remember you recently telling me that the street style clothing is not quite "You". Do you want to present this "Not You" type of dressing to your therapist or would you prefer the dressing that you have such a great passion for?
My advice would be to find and put together a street outfit, then try a few private dressing sessions with it to see if it brings out the similiar type of passion. Never know until you give it a shot and experience it!!!!

[Angela Campbell]

I went dressed to the therapist on the very first visit with him. I told him up front I wanted to transition and we started the journey. I would guess you are going for different reasons than I am. If he wants to see you dressed then he likely wants to see you dressed as you normally like to not some other filtered way. He (or she) is trying to understand you and presenting as something different than your normal dressed up self would defeat the purpose.

[Christine.Lolita]

Thank you all for such wonderful advice. I know that I will go to my therapist dressed but not sure it will be in Lolita fashion. Her office is a very safe place and fortunately in a very quiet place so if I decided to get partially dressed first, such as hair and makeup I could change into my dress more quickly.
Being Christine out in the world is something I have been wanting for a long time. I realize that if I am going to have a social life I will need to dress more naturally. Wearing a Lolita outfit will draw way to much attention to me and whoever else I may be with. With that in mind what I have realized through my therapy sessions and personal reflection is that I just want to look and feel female. I do not have to dress in flamboyant outfits all the time to achieve this.
Who knows if I dress more naturally I might discover that it is really just as fulfilling an experience as when I dress Lolita. My journey is just really beginning, for me it officially started when I said out loud in my therapist office for the first time that I feel that I should have been born a female and that I wish that I could be a female.
This is not to say that I will seek HRT and SRS, I do not know if this is truly what I want. All I know is that I am happiest when dressed in Christine’s clothes and I look in the mirror and I see Christine.