First time your wife saw you completely dressed

[kimdl93]

A couple of threads this morning got me thinking back to the first time my wife saw me entirely en femme, the works.

My wife knew from before we were engaged an over the ensuing years had seen me at various stages of dress, but never completely. She was generally accepting but had that one last condition...not wanting to see me fully dressed.

On the fateful day, I dressed up when she left to shop with her daughter. I had work to do, but by this time I was dressing pretty much full time when alone...so I got fixed up and went to work.

Some months before I'd asked her if it was ok if I dressed completely in her presence. She wasn't entirely thrilled so I put off asking again. This time it was different. I was still dressed when she texted that she was on her way home. I had plenty of time to shift back, thought long and hard about it and called her. I explained that I was fully dressed and wanted to stay that way. There was a long pause and then she said OK...with little enthusiasm.

When she got home I met her at the door. She was not happy. We sat down and talked...she said that this wasn't her favorite. I said I felt a deep loneliness having to keep this from her. We talked about what to do. I offered to go back to solitary dressing if that's what she could handle. She said,no stay dressed, but with little doubt that it was not something she wanted. I got up, told her our marriage was more important than dressing openly and went to shower.

I returned in male mode and went about my business. A little later my wife came to me, embraced me and said she thought we should reconsider, because she could see the joy had been sucked right out of me. In truth, it had. I said, ok, let's talk later.

That night in bed she said " I need to say one thing. It's OK for you to dress around me. I know you're the same person, no matter how you are dressed, and I want you to be happy. After all, it's just clothes."

Since then I've gradually spent more time dressed in her presence...at least 50% but I do try to present as male from time to time, just to maintain some balance.

For those who are out with your wife or SO, please share your first experience dressing in her presence and the context leading up to that moment.

[Ceri Anne]

That's a great and inspiring story, I only hope when I come out to my wife that we eventually get to that point.

[Jenniferathome]

Mine laughed out loud, a nervous sort of release, then she said, you look better than I thought you would. Her biggest concern about seeing me dressed was that she would continue to see me that way when not dressed. Those,fears were put to rest that day.

[Raychel]

Great story Kim.

My story is kinda similar. I told my wife about my dressing about 10 years into our marriage
It was not a good time. We had a pretty rough spell over it, But she did eventually say the same thing
it is only clothes, and she did not want to ever see me dressed. Well over tome at her pace she did
eventually see me dressed. She has grown more comfortable with it over the years. I am sure that
in the back of her mind she would wish it would just go away. But she has grown to accept this part
of me. Not necessarily love it, But she can deal with it.

She did not laugh or say anything bad when she did see me. But I did catch her glancing down at
my boobs very often, Still do catch her. :heehee: Eyes are up here. :battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes:

[linda allen]

My wife has never seen me "entirely en femme, the works". She has seen me (and sees me on a regular basis) in blouses, skirts, dresses, women's shoes and jewelry. She saw me a few times in my first wig but she said it looked "fake" so I haven't worn it around her since. She knows I have padded panties but she hasn't seen me in them (they make a big difference). She gave me some tights but hasn't seen me wearing them. She knows I got another wig but hasn't seen me in it yet.

She very seldom wears makeup so it's hard to bring that subject up. Just a little lipstick and powder over the beard shadow makes a big difference but I haven't done it around her. It's hard for here to understand why I would want to get all dressed up just to hang around the house.

I've been dealing with health issues for six months now so I haven't been pushing the envelope lately. I hope to get back on track soon.

Oh - She was with me the first skirt I bought. One day I was wearing it when she came home from her workout. I came to the door to meet her and she looked me up and down and said "I just hate it when my husband looks better in a skirt than I do!"

[RADER]

My wife saw me partly dressed while we where dating. I did not have much
back then, a few skirts, tops, and 5 bathing suits.
After we where married, we sat down one Sunday while I had my skirt on,
and we talked. She said that I could dress any way I wanted at home, just
do not go outside and embarrass her.
A few years later, she also did not want me to shave all the chest hair I have;
I do have a lot, and she liked to run her fingers through it at night.
We where married over 19 years; She would find outfits for me in the Catalogs,
About the only place where I could find my size. She was the one who insisted
that I get some Wigs, and I did. I still have my Mustache, I do not want to remove it.
The Angles called for her back in Early April, I will miss by buddy.
Rader

[AmyGaleRT]

Sabrina saw me dressed (full clothing and jewelry, but no makeup) the night I told her. Her reaction was "I'm jealous, you look more feminine than I do!" The evening turned into a bit of a fashion show, as I showed off several different outfits.

She always insists on seeing me after I've made the transformation, usually by saying, "Come out here!" I go out to the living room and show her, usually with a little posing or a twirl. She does generally tell me I look fine. :)

- Amy

[kimdl93]

Amy, what lead up to that moment?

[melissakozak]

I was 19 years old when I completely dressed in front of my then girlfriend and now wife....That was 1990....she actually didn't mind too much but also quickly realized it wasn't just fun and games....

[switcheralso]

I wrote my wife when we were in a 10 year mark and luckily she laughed and did not cry. Last week we were at JCPenny and she bought me my first dress. That was 7 years ago when I wrote the letter.

[KimberlyJean]

My wife and I are firmly on the don't want to see territory, however she will walk in on me sometimes when I think she knows what I am doing. She doesn't really get a good look (like I was sitting on the couch with my back to the door and all she saw was my wig and earrings) and I don't get to wear make up very often so she doesn't get the total look. She caught me wearing heels the other day and wanted to see them. I want to show her because I have gotten alot better at being Kimberly, but I do not want to start a fight.

[jenni_xx]

Hi Kim.

That's such a wonderful story, and two things immediately spring to mind that form the crux of any strong, loving relationship - those being your statement about your marriage being more important than your dressing, and your wife's response in regards to your happiness. Both these comments are made from people who are putting the other person first, over and above their own wishes. From what you wrote, I genuinely believe that you being prepared to put your dressing to one side in favour of your wife's happiness is crux to enabling her to reconsider. You saying what you did (and doing what you did (getting up, showering, and changing into your male clothes) is a wonderful and unselfish and loving thing to do, and I applaud you wholeheartedly for that.

I've told several partners of my crossdressing. The first girlfriend I told accepted it. The first time she saw me dressed she laughed, but in way that didn't make me feel demeaned at all. I remember shaking like a leaf, and she noticed this and I think that broke down the barrier to some extent. The second partner, she actually introduced it into our relationship herself when out of the blue she got some lingerie and asked me to put it on. She knew my previous girlfriend through her older sister and even though this was never confirmed, I believe that she found out about my cross-dressing through my ex-girlfriend telling her sister, and in turn her sister telling her. She embraced it and accepted it completely - we would go shopping together, she would do my make-up, and we went out in the gay village in Manchester on a few occasions. The third person I told, it took a while for her to wrap her head around it, and to her credit she did try to embrace it. The first time I dressed in front of her was after a day's shopping together and her reaction was that I looked better than she thought I would. A short while later, we were both out in London and a cross-dresser walked passed us - her reaction was to look at me and say that he didn't look as good as I do. That was a big confidence boost! However, despite trying, she never truly came to terms with it and would use it against me in some arguments that we had. At one point during a particular argument, she even told me that I need to see a psychiatrist because (in her words) I was not right in the head.

The last partner I've told is my current partner, who is male. I actually told him the first night I meet him, and he was intrigued by it. He saw me dressed and was totally taken aback. He has been nothing but accepting of my cross-dressing and we often go out together with me dressed.

[Di]

Great story and thank you for sharing.


For those who are out with your wife or SO, please share your first experience dressing in her presence and the context leading up to that moment.

First time I met Sherlyn was our first date ......our story is a little different We were friends here on the forum and decided to meet.
I did not meet the guy side right away and she was nervous me meeting the guy side.:love:

[Claire Cook]

I first told her that I CD'd about a month after we were married. When I asked her if I could dress for a bit, she said "Well, OK if it will make you feel better." When she saw me, her response was "You look like a French *****." Talk about a reality check!

That was 45 years ago, and for much of the intervening time I did not dress much. I feel so lucky to have a strong marriage and a wife who accepts me for who I am, her reaction is similar to what Kim has said. And she hasn't made that comment since...

[Tina B.]

After five years of a rocky relationship, I finally came to the conclusion that we where on our way to divorce court unless there was a change, I decided the only hope for us was if I came clean about the inter turmoil that was making me so unhappy and such a grouchy person that was depressed way to much of the time. I blamed myself for the problems we where having, but couldn't seem to stop taking my feeling out on everyone around me.
So I remembered what my momma always said, "Honesty is the best policy" and sat the wife down for the talk. The way things where going I figured she would be out the door before I finished trying to explain myself, but I was tried of living like we where, and figured it was time to fix it or put it out of it's misery. After just a few minutes of me fumbling around, I blurted it out, I'm a cross dresser! Then I explained what I meant by that, and looked at me an smiled like a teacher looking at here favorite pupil, that thought he had disappointed her. Her words where something to the effect of, "is that all this is about, I thought it was something serious. That afternoon, she took me shopping and bought me two complete outfits, just about busted the weekly budget.
After we got home from the shopping trip, she said, "well, let see how we did, go get dressed". Now that was about the most nerve racking thing I ever did, I had just told her about me, no way was I ready to dress in front of here yet, but what could I do, she was being so great about things, I did as told and put on this Mint green dress, wig, and hose and heels, and pulled up by big girl panties and went out to the living room. She looked up, smiled and said you look cute. I don't know what was really going through her mind, but you look cute, was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and if there ever was a time I needed to here something like that, it was at that moment. At that moment, I fell madly in love with that women, all over again, and would, do anything to keep that smile on her face.
Since that day, I think our marriage is as about as good a marriage as I've ever seen, and for the last 37 years I have been free to dress at least at home, anyway, any time, I please.

[Jillian Faith]

Mine laughed out loud, a nervous sort of release, then she said, you look better than I thought you would. Her biggest concern about seeing me dressed was that she would continue to see me that way when not dressed. Those,fears were put to rest that day.

Although my wife didn't laugh out loud she had the same concern as Jennifer's wife.

[Cheryl T]

After a few months of discussion after coming out fully to my wife we agreed that I would be dressed one night for her. She had gone to an Xmas party with friends and I spent the time getting ready. I was a nervous wreck the whole time...would she freak, would she scream, would she run and hide. All these thoughts because I had never dressed for anyone else before and especially not someone that I love.
She came home about midnight and I was wearing a blouse and skirt, stockings, heels....everything. I had COMPLETELY shaved that day from head to toe. My nails were done (oh how difficult that was as I was shaking the whole time) and my makeup the best since I had really, really taken my time.
Well, she came in the door and I stood to greet her not knowing what to expect. It was almost like standing for inspection in the Army. She looked and looked, walked around me, inspected my makeup and outfit and finally said, "you look good". Then she went on to say she would have worn a different top with the skirt and so on, but she never made a negative comment about ME.
We talked again, like we had for the last few months and it was such a relief to be finally dressed WITH someone, especially her, and not be rejected which had always been my worst fear. From that night we progressed. I would dress but not let her see the transition, to letting her see me as I dressed and did my makeup. Now we go out all the time, I dress when ever I wish at home (most every day now) and when we get ready it's just us gals prepping for a day or night out.
We've actually become closer as I finally opened a tightly closed door to her and our marriage is so much better now that we share EVERYTHING!

She has become very accepting and makes little comments now and then in jest. We were in a restaurant one night with friends from our Tri-Ess chapter and I was wearing a nice white blouse with a white lace bra and she looked at me and said, "you're such a ****"...and laughed. When I asked why she said that she told me that my nipples were very visible through the bra and blouse. When I looked in the mirror I saw she was right and just said, "well, you knew that when you married me". We both laughed and have been laughing so much more now.

[Jennifer in CO]

this is long, but it tells a story...

We met in college and had dated a year. It got pretty exclusive with one another towards the end of that year and when we went to our respective homes over the summer we talked every other day by phone. She wrote probably 3 letters a week as well. I wrote probably 4 the entire summer.

But one of them I felt I needed to explained that I liked to wear girls clothes. If she were repulsed, then a summer to heal and start over would help. She wasn't, and we talked about this a few times after. She finally commented that "so long as I didn't want to "be" a girl she was ok" she told me after a few weeks. I subsequently asked her to marry me. The response was a package with a red heart and a pink bra/pantie set.

I had told her of a few styles I liked and over the next month two more packages arrived. In one was a pair of slacks - gauze/linen construction with no belt loops - and no pockets. About 2 weeks later another arrived. This one had two tops in it. One a peasant top made from the same material as the slacks and another top in navy made with a polished knit, similar to the peasant top but without the "girly-ness" (no elastic and no bunched sleeves).

I wore the navy top with the slacks, the bra/pantie set along with a pair of Shear Energy suntan pantyhose (had to hide the pink panties from showing through the slacks!) and a pair of earth shoes when I flew back up at the end of the summer...and to officially ask for her hand in marriage (yes I was raised old fashioned). That was the outfit I had on as I asked her parents for her hand and as I slipped the ring on her finger...and the first time she saw me "dressed".

Now the first time she saw me "girly" wasn't till after we were married...about 2 hours after as a matter of fact...

When we married, we wore matching trousseau's under our wedding clothes - "virgin" white bra/panties/garter/hose and waist cinchers. She was really into matching. When we left the wedding, our going away outfits matched as well. Knowing my penchant for cross dressing in public without anyone knowing, my wife prepared our going away outfits.

We wore white satin blouses with a wide lace yoke and chiffon sleeves with 4 inch satin cuffs, white slacks (no pockets/no zips), same matching bra/pantie/garter/hose set (we both removed the waist cinchers), and white T-strap shoes all under matching white down jackets so no one could see our tops. Since it was already in the low 20's that night and we thought the down jackets smart and no big deal.

Well, the plan was not thought all the way through. We left the wedding and drove the two hours to the airport to fly from Denver to New Orleans for our honeymoon. Standing in the airport in Denver wearing down jackets it started getting warm pretty quick. My wife removed her jacket first and it was way past obvious that you could see her bra not only through the blouse but the lace yoke as well.

Which meant mine was going to be equally obvious.

So, we made a quick detour into a restroom and she whipped out her makeup case. Five minutes later, I had on base, eye liner, blue eye shadow, and a deep shade of red lipstick. She parted my shoulder length hair on one side and pulled it back with a white barret on the other. She then painted my nails a white frost to match hers. So dressed we boarded the plane to NO.

Several of the flight crew asked if we were part of a drill team or some form of performing act or something. We came up with the cover story of doing a performance and then having to head back early for family reasons. No more prying and no real issues till we got to NO.
People look at two girls kinda strange who are dressed alike anyway...but at 2am in NO and they are asking about a cab to the heart of the French Quarter? We got some really strange looks.

We finally got into our room at almost 3:30am. We were very tired but very giddie at the same time. Anything made us giggle like two school girls such that me passing as one was no problem. Most of you will know what two "kids" do on a honeymoon, so I wont go into details. BUT, I didn't leave the room the rest of that weekend without makeup on if that answers the question....

Jenn

[Sabrina133]

...I've told several partners of my crossdressing.
The last partner I've told is my current partner, who is male. I actually told him the first night I meet him, and he was intrigued by it. He saw me dressed and was totally taken aback. He has been nothing but accepting of my cross-dressing and we often go out together with me dressed.

Thats great to hear Jenni. My second partner was a male and he was non too thrilled about it. It was a huge reason why we broke up - that and he was a jerk. My first SO, a GG never knew. My current partner, a GG has known from the begining. We will often go out clubbing as girlfriends.

[PretzelGirl]

My dressing developed with my wife knowing all along. So in the beginning, it was all about underdressing. Once it started to evolve into complete dressing, it wasn't a big deal. My first two dressed were ones we went out and purchased together. After I started buying things on my own, I was actually shy about coming out of the bedroom with some of it on. Occasionally I could get comments like "Who helped you pick that out" and "you aren't planning on going out in that". Well, those things went away as I got better at selecting things.

[jenni_xx]

Thats great to hear Jenni. My second partner was a male and he was non too thrilled about it. It was a huge reason why we broke up - that and he was a jerk. My first SO, a GG never knew. My current partner, a GG has known from the begining. We will often go out clubbing as girlfriends.

Hi Sab. I guess I "lucked out" in regards to my current partner. In much the same way that many cd's here are fortunate to have an accepting partner - the worry being that their SO's want to be with a man. Whether a straight female or gay male, that applies. So for that reason I see myself as no more fortunate than a straight cd who has a partner who is accepting. Reading many posts here, it does seem to be more the norm that we tell our SO's further down the line - when the relationship has already grown, so in that respect my situation is a little different in that I told my partner the very first time I met him - just like you told your SO. We've been together for quite a while now, and are now in a civil relationship, although with the recent passing of the gay marriage laws in the UK, we are making plans to renew our vows and be married in a more official, traditional sense. Which has also raised another point - I'd love to get married wearing a wedding dress. We both wore suits for our civil ceremony, and he knows that I'd just love to wear a wedding dress. My only worry is no so much how he'd react (I'd only do it if he was happy for me to do so), but how all the other guests react. Most of our friends and family know I crossdress, but with some of them it's a case of them not wanting any part of it. So in that respect I feel a little torn between doing what I want to do and doing what is expected of me. And to be fair, because pretty much all of our friends and family have been so accepting of our relationship, I don't want to push it in any way.

[Laura912]

My wife was told during a time of stress for her so that she felt she had company dealing with issues. She asked to see Laura, so she showed up in a full length, red, gown but wearing a bit of a cheesy wig. Her comment was WOW! You look wonderful. That was over 15 years ago in a 46 year marriage. No resentment from not being told earlier. No rules except not going out when we would both be recognized. A much better wig later, more clothes, more often dressed in front of her (to the extent of just wearing a new pair of 1.5 inch heel sandals, male shorts and tee shirt, to break the shoes in). Retirement is wonderful for a lot of reasons.

[Diana Bain]

It's was the 6th of June 1994. We'd been dating for about three weeks. I felt so comfortable around her and thought we might have something. In my earlier life, my first wife had absolutely no tolerance or understanding at all. So here was someone I want to tell up front and if it wasn't meant to be I'd find out now. I said to her that I needed to tell her something important...so we sat down and I told her I was a crossdresser. She took it well and asked a ton of the usual questions. We married 5 months later...not that we didn't have issues, we did and it has worked out well. Just over two years ago she suggested that I spend more time as Diana...I'm very lucky that she now calls me her girl friend. To such an extent now she understands my desire to become more of a woman and is completely onboard with me starting HRT which I started about a month ago...I am so proud to have this woman in my life...I'm truly blessed.

[Sabrina133]

Diana, wow, that is such a huge step. I am happy she is supportive about your transition. Such a step brings about so many questions.

[ShannonDragon]

My (then future) wife and I met in collage. After we had been dating for about 6 weeks, I told her about my other self. I didn't have much of anything and she let me "borrow" a few items of hers. We later on went out and bought me my very first dress that was truly mine.

She was in pre-Pharm and had 4 years to go after that. She could have backed down at any time but didn't. Said they were just clothes and it was who I was. We had rings a few years before we got married, After she graduated, we married that fall had have been together 35 years. She sees me fully dressed all of the time and its been no big deal.

Shannon always gets something at birthday & Christmas.

[darla_g]

my story is probably a lot different than most. I had dressed in my teen years, but had given it up then. We had been married a few years until i decided i wanted to dress for a Halloween party which i did. I announced to my wife that i kind of wanted to do it again after that......

[CherylFlint]

We had our first date at a steakhouse and she asked me to come over that Saturday.
She asked me to bring over an outfit to her apartment and dress in her bedroom, which I did, and then I used her mirror to apply my makeup and then after all was done I walked on out and she liked what she saw.
We dated for six months or so, me bringing over different outfits, she making adjustments on my makeup, and off to the mall we’d go.
We married after six months and been married over ten years.

[AmyGaleRT]

Amy, what lead up to that moment?

What led up to it was the thought that we'd have to get married almost at once, because we were now having to pay for a prescription for her (for insulin) that we thought was going to be something like $250 a month. (Turns out it was more like $250 every five months, which is a little easier to handle.) So I had to get that out there...or, as Sabrina puts it, she had to drag it out of me. :D

Her reaction to this revelation--along the lines of "So? I don't mind it"--made me wish I'd opened up a lot sooner. But, in the roughly seven months since then, I've made tremendous strides forward, thanks to the encouragement and examples of my sisters here.

- Amy

[noeleena]

Hi,

When i told Jos i am a woman over 20 years ago,.& even then i was not bothered about clothes or dressing . was another few years before i started buying clothes though i had brought Jos clothes for many years, & what did not fit or look right i took them back so got to know many of the women in the shops plus the online women as well. even before Jos & i would buy clothes for myself together. & Jos would say yes or not to what i thought would look nice for her or myself,

Later on i did dress in my clothes so Jos knew what i looked like plus makeup. if any thing was not right it was get it off & do again. that was for two years of my training & with health & beauty at our Poly tech school with 7 of us women training for a job in makeup or other,

Jos allso came with me when i brought my first wig & she checked it out & Jos liked it, did wear my wig & wigs for 11 years, till id had enough of headaches,

What Jos took time with not dressing i know yet part of the whole was after corrective surgerys, no she did not wont to see, till 9 months later.

As others have said when i told them about Jos , concerning myself , she really is one neat woman in many more ways .

Jos has seen all my clothes plus the others i made & wear for our two period groups, & i think i look better in those than normal day wear, of skirts & tops,

...noeleena...

[TeresaCD]

Yesterday. The dressing is not new to her.
But she hasn't seen me dressed since I've been going outside the four walls, in the last month.

Apparently I'm cute, and elegant like Jackie O :)
It went well (thank goodness)

[suzanne]

My wife has been a hard nut to crack. She is from a traditional Catholic family where everyone has a clearly defined role and doesn't deviate from it. On top of that, she is naturally stubborn but unwilling to get into an argument. I, on the other hand, have established my own pattern of stubbornness where I just go ahead and do what I need to do. I know, that's a recipe for a train wreck. Several years ago, when the feminine urges came back with a vengeance, I slipped into one of her seldom used nightgowns and climbed back into bed. She recoiled, saying she couldn't stand to touch or even look at me. For a long time after that, any attempt to have a conversation about CDing was met with a deafening silence. It was a lonely existence. She refused to even try to understand me or search the net for answers. I think she just ruminated about the usual worst case scenarios: was I gay, did I want to transition, was I going to turn into an over-the-top drag queen who looks like an angry Las Vegas showgirl. But whenever I tried to steer a conversation toward my femme feelings, it was another shutdown. I spent a lot of nights crying quietly in the dark from the loneliness and isolation I felt.

Finally, I started getting sound fashion advice from the SA's I met in various ladies shops and departments. I have been buying clothes that work on my body and wearing them at home in front of her, just for my own peace of mind. I have actually started getting compliments from her like "I like that dress on you" and "That outfit is my favorite" She is realizing that I am the same me, only better since I am happier and more self confident. After all, they're only clothes with no intrinsic meaning, right? (NOT!)

She still can't bring herself to go out with me dressed or help pick out clothes, but she can look at me and smile. Her biggest concern is that I "seem to be spending a lot on clothes these days". I can't help it, I'm like a kid in a candy store now and there's only one or two things in a store at any time that work with my figure, so what's a girl to do? Teehee

I know that my method is contrary to all the great advice I read on this site about going slow, going at her pace. But "her pace" was zero and I couldn't handle all the pent up frustration, loneliness and resentment any longer so I took a gamble, being prepared to accept the worst outcome. So now we are at peace. My wonderful wife has chosen not to destroy me but to accept me, although not with the enthusiasm some here have the joy to experience. Life continues.

[cyndigurl45]

Well being in gay relationship, my then boyfriend now husband thought I was just going through a phase he is very comfortable being gay, and so am I, I just know that I'm a woman and my husband is OK with that....... The very first time I fully dressed was in the beginning of the summer 2002 I had been growing my hair long, one morning I decided I needed bangs so I trimmed my bangs slipped on a bikini and covered up with a cute pink floral spaghetti strapped summer dress, my husband about fell out of his chair, his mouth dropped and I'll never forget what he said, WOW you could turn a gay man strait LOL we have been a "normal looking couple" blah blah, for 11 years now.

[Leslie Langford]

I can totally relate to what you are saying, suzanne, and my situation closely parallels yours - down to the respective personality profiles of the marriage partners involved, as well as my wife's strict Catholic upbringing - along with all the rigidity, inflexibility and quickness to judge harshly that seems to be part of the package for some of its more conservative practitioners. But in my case, my wife's stubbornness is exacerbated by her need to control everything (and everyone) within her sphere of influence as well as her fundamentally combative and argumentative nature (she calls it "being opinionated", in her terminology :doh:). So very often, this comes down to a case of the irresistible force meeting the immovable object.

For years, my wife tried to keep me in check with guilt (Catholics are very good at that kind of thing ;) ), especially since I didn't divulge my crossdressing inclinations to her before we got married some 40-odd years ago on the assumption that marriage would "cure" me (NOT!). But as time went by, I began to understand myself better and that - together with information sources like the Internet and this forum - showed me that I am far from alone in this, and that I have nothing to be ashamed of for feeling (and being) the way I am. That, together with going out in public over the last 5 years and experiencing nothing but unconditional acceptance by everyone that I have ever encountered has completely transformed the way I now regard both my crossdressing and underlying transgenderism.

All that said, I finally "grew a pair", and in the spirit of Napoleon Bonaparte who once declared "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs" decided to stand my ground, and the consequences be dam*ed.

While my wife still refuses to meet or even look at pictures of "Leslie", I now talk openly about my crossdressing, have designated areas in the house where I keep "her" clothes, and go out en femme on a regular basis - all of which I now no longer try to hide or lie about. And much as I hate to describe my wife as a being a bully when it comes to her way of dealing with my crossdressing, the standard tactics of confronting and standing down a bully seem to have worked for me in this instance.

Do I wish that all of this could have been achieved without the attendant drama? Of course I do, but it is what it is, and at least my wife and I have a type of DADT relationship now that is reasonably workable and allows "Leslie" to flourish to a degree that I can live with.

[heatherdress]

My wife wants me to be happy. She encouraged me to buy a pair of high heels a few years back because she knew that I enjoyed when she wore hers. She wanted to know if I would like the experience of wearing a pair of heels, myself. I thought about it and agreed to experiment. I bought a pair, tried them on, and discovered they gave me pleasure and excitement. She encouraged more experimentation- nylons, lipstick, makeup. We had fun. We role played. Then we went to Las Vegas. I got a wig, a transformation and went back to the hotel room, fully dressed and made up. She was shocked - in a favorable way - and loved the look. Since that day, she has always been 100% encouraging.

[PaulaQ]

First time my wife saw me dressed was right after a therapy session last week. I'd attempted suicide the weekend before, and she knew I was in crisis. So she told me "I've decided to put on my big girl panties, and meet Paula, if you are ready for me to do so." So I was already dressed, and met her when she came home.

She was surprised at how I looked - it was a LOT better than she expected, and she was surprised at my skill at makeup. (I still have a lot to learn!) I was wearing a blue floral maxi-dress and shrug. Blue's a good color for me, so I thought I looked nice. We had a really long talk, and she told me I could dress in her presence as I needed to.

Unfortunately, the third, (and last) time she saw Paula was the day after, when I returned home from my therapist visit. Next day she told me, while kind of drunk, that she really doesn't like Paula. So back in the closet I go. By sunday, we were talking about whether or not I should move out this week. (She suggested this, not me.)

Well, I guess chalk it up to "easy come, easy go?" Guess she really wasn't ready to meet me after all, as it turns out. :(

It's really hard to feel positive about my true self when it freaks everyone I know and love out so badly. "Arrrgh! OMG! It's HER!!!!!" I guess I could understand this if I turned into a werewolf and ate people's faces off. But I don't - I swear - it's just clothes, wig, and boobs... (No face eating WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!)

[Bree Wagner]

The real first time my wife saw me in full regalia was a Halloween party ten years ago so I don't really count that. When it was a bit more 'serious' a few years ago she could handle everything except the wig (makeup was a smaller issue) so it was a challenge. It's still not easy for her to deal with me being fully dressed but it's far better than it was a while back. We've been out together a few times and hopefully there'll be more. So, there's hope even when the initial reaction isn't good!

[suchacutie]

We found "Tina" almost 8 years ago. Once we understood she existed it took a few months to amass everything that she needed for a full transformation (wig, forms, stockings, shoes, and a bit of makeup, skirt and top). One Saturday we just decided it was time to start seeing who Tina is, and it took almost two hours from nail polish to full transformation.

Tina took a deep breath and just walked out of the bedroom and we met...the response was WOW! Just the idea of changing hair and going from a flat chest to 40B made such a difference in appearance, and Tina already understood about how to walk and hold herself, so the effect was striking!

We never looked back and my wife has been the most essential element in Tina's ability to transform successfully and with confidence. IMHO there is no better mentor than a supportive wife....love her completely!

[Allison2006]

My wife saw me fully dressed before she knew I was a crossdresser. She wanted me to dress as a woman fir Halloween, which I was more than willing to do. When I told her much later that I was a crossdresser, she was not supportive at all, but after a few years she came around and now is fully supportive.

[kimdl93]

My wife has been a hard nut to crack.....It was a lonely existence. .... I spent a lot of nights crying quietly in the dark from the loneliness and isolation I felt.. ."her pace" was zero and I couldn't handle all the pent up frustration, loneliness and resentment any longer so I took a gamble, being prepared to accept the worst outcome...we are at peace. My wonderful wife has chosen not to destroy me but to accept me, although not with the enthusiasm some here have the joy to experience. Life continues.

Suzanne, a couple of times you used the word loneliness...and that really struck a chord with me. When I finally asked my wife if I could dress completely around her, part of what I shared was that I had this same feeling of loneliness. She mentioned that to me when we finally resolved this. I think she empathized with that feeling.

[kimdl93]

First time I met Sherlyn was our first date ......our story is a little different We were friends here on the forum and decided to meet.
I did not meet the guy side right away and she was nervous me meeting the guy side.:love:

That's a really fascinating twist! So glad the two of you were able to meet here! And I applaud you for accepting her "guy" side too, even though Sherlyn has to be way cuter ;)

[Miriam-J]

Immediately after I told the woman who is now my wife about my crossdressing, she insisted that I dress in each of my outfits so she could see. I was very nervous since no one had ever seen me crossdressed, but she soothed me and made me feel comfortable. I spent the rest of that evening crossdressed, more to help my nerves - she was fine with it from the start.

Miriam

[Beverley Sims]

My wife had no idea who I was for a couple of months.
She thought I was Beverley, until I met her as my male self.
She thought I was related for a couple of weeks then.

[DonnaT]

She stared, astonished, and told me how pretty I looked (those days are gone ;) ), and said that we'll probably have a pretty daughter, which we did a few years later.