Under The Top

[michelleddg]

I've always been prone to dressing over the top. Yes, that's me in my stilletos at the mall. However, I've been positively influenced by this discussion group and the desirable tradeoffs between wearing what GG's wear and going max girly.

So, last night I went "under the top" to a very nice but mostly casual Italian restaurant. Summery dress with a modest scoop neck, flat sandals, bra and panties (and gaff) and that's it! No sky high heels, no nylons, no cleavage taping, no shapewear, no sparkly bling. Yeah, OK, full on makeup with red lip and false eyelashes and my big hair wig but, baby steps, right?

It was liberating to not be wearing all of that "stuff" and to be less concerned with whether I was being stared at. Hugs, Michelle

[Sabrina133]

Hi Michelle. As on over the top type girl myself, I fully understand what you are saying. I have learned over the years that sometimes a little bit less goes a long way. When SO and i go out to party, i go all out. When we are going out to one of our favorite restaurants, i tend to tone it down a bit (frankly i take my cue from her as she is just a girly as i am).

[JennaGirl]

You look gorgeous Michelle in your outfit. I think liberating is a great feeling to find. I am so glad you were able to find that!

Jenna

[~Joanne~]

I have to wonder.....Why? If you are comfortable with "over the top" then why go "under the top"? You have always presented pretty passable so was it because you solely wanted to blend? Just wanted to go lighter? Either way, I am glad you had a good night out because it's still a lot better than a bad night in ;)

[Kate Simmons]

I think that even if we do it unconsciously, we dress the way we wish to be perceived for the most part.:)

[Barbara Ella]

Michelle, it is just so perfect that you can "have it your way." You are liberated and not limited in what you can do. You can go full out, or you can to in low gear. That is what it is all about, doing what you feel like at the moment, and not worrying about it, and having a fun good time just being yourself. you are yourself. Way to go girl.

Barbara

[CherylFlint]

When I first ventured out I’d overdress because that’s how I’d figure I’d pass, but the more I went out the more I realized that I stood out because, when all the other girls be in jeans, I’d be in a night streetwalker outfit, or in a business suit, or standing out in some way.
Then I figured it out: blend in and you increase your chances of “passing” tremendously.
Being “made” can be very dangerous. Guys who get fooled don’t think it’s funny.
My most nervous moment was when I was “made” while looking at the cosmetics at the mall and this woman LOUDLY and HYSTERICALLY YELLED “He’s dressed-up as a woman!”
Thank God her husband was with her and immediately ushered her away.
So, blend in and relax and, by doing so, increase your chances of staying safe.

[RenneB]

I like your "under the top" notion. I've been working on a grey area between blending and "hey look at me". However, out here in the hinter lands, over the top means your sweat pants match your sweat shirt or your flip flops match... just match that's it. However, there is a glimmer of hope, today at the mall I did notice that I was not the only one with a dress and heels. Two out of the hundreds of shoppers were dressed better than I. So, I guess that's kind of blending....

I'm still working on a capri/top/sandal outfit.... that may be close to stealth....

Thanks for sharing....

Renne.....

[AmyGaleRT]

Michelle, I like the way that outfit sounds and I would definitely wear something like that. I don't go for the miniskirt-and-stilettos look a lot of CDs gravitate towards...and, when I go "extravagant," my idea of "extravagant" is more "elegant" than "exposing." (I will probably wear my "Pretty in Pink (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?187857-Isn-t-She-Pretty-In-Pink)" HolyClothing dress to PrideFest, for instance. As you can see, it's pretty and unusual, but not immodest.)

You're finding balance, is the thing, which is a good thing to have.

- Amy

[mikiSJ]

I like the notion of dressing who you are/want to be - nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with changing out of your style when you want to.

[Lynn Marie]

"Blending" just isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I got to spend some time with an absolute master of the art a few weeks ago. She taught the class on "blending", I'm serious! Yet for some reason, it was just too little, too bland, too blended. I surely admired her skills, and learned a lot about blending from her. Yet there's just no way I can stop being a well dressed, classy, old broad with a great wardrobe!

[Beverley Sims]

I find it relaxing to dress under the top, people take less notice of you.