Only my wife knows

[WantingtobeVictoria]

I have been dressing for 2 years, but only at home or in the car on trips. My wife and I really want to go out somewhere together, but we are afraid we'd run into someone we knew. Can any of you offer advice?

[Amy Lynn3]

First time out, do it at night and drive to a neighboring town, where nobody knows you and have dinner. With you in girl mode, I doubt anyone would see you, but if they did, they would think it was your wife with another lady friend.

[WantingtobeVictoria]

That is a great idea, but I have 1 problem....I have a very prominent mustache that I have had forever...it's a dead giveaway !

[Barbra P]

There is a lot of missing information; you give no indication of where you live, your age group, or your financial status. What a number of members do is to travel to another location, rent a room, and go from there but that may not be in your budget. If you live in a large metropolitan center there may be TG support groups and some of these support groups have rooms that you can change in. When I dress I’m rather meticulous about my makeup and there is just no way I could change in our car or pickup – but there are members who do.

Due, possibly, to my age and a couple years of therapy I’m not much concerned about being seen. I’m retired so there are no fellow employees and no bosses to worry about. I’ve been out of the house often enough in the last two years (approximately weekly) that most of my neighbors have seen me and I have talked to a number of them (mostly women) while dressed en femme. Joining a support group affords you a safe way to get out of the house, dress en femme, and visit with other people who also face many of the same limitations as you. It will also build your confidence, something you need in generous quantities to successfully venture out in public. When you open that door and step out for the first time your mouth is going to be dry and your heart is going to be pounding. Having a supportive wife, or a supportive anyone for that matter, helps a lot. At the end of the day, or night, in all probability you will have experienced something you will never forget.

There is nothing wrong with being “in the closet” and for many of us it is a necessity. Coming out of the closet to the extent that we venture out of the house could be a whole lot more severe than just being embarrassed, it could be a life altering experience – people have lost their jobs. I can imagine that in a small conservative community in the Bible-Belt you and your family might end up being osterized. There may be family living close by that for various reasons, including religious, are best left in the dark.

If it imperative that your crossdressing be kept totally secret it is probably best that you restrict your crossdressing to your home. I don’t think there is any 100% sure way to guarantee that you won’t be seen by someone who knows you. Even if at first they didn’t recognize you dressed en femme they would probably recognize your wife or maybe your car.

[Barbra P]

Oh WOW! A mustache changes everything; it is pretty difficult to go out dressed en femme sporting a prominent mustache. When going out the key to success is to blend in with the other women and there is absolutely no way to blend in with a mustache. Unless Victoria is planning on joining the circus you might want to seriously consider shaving off the mustache.

[suzanne]

Go anyway. I have male pattern baldness and, honestly, I wear what I like. I just call it my statement, whether you want to call it political, social, fashion, or just a declaration that "This is me!"

As a dry run, I suggest going shopping, fully dressed, in a women's clothing store. You will find there an extremely supportive atmosphere because most of them have seen it all before and know how to handle it, not that "It" is all that hard to handle anyway

[Aly Cat]

Hey, I say rock the mustache. If this guy can do it, anyone can!!

[Rachelakld]

Most people I know, wake up and hit the shops around 11am, so I used to be up and out at 7am for an early breakfast somewhere nice.
After that came the late movies on the other side of town

Ok that's how I started, now it's more like "whenever" and "who cares"

[mikiSJ]

You can never rid yourself of a chance meeting with someone you know. I once ran into a school mate I hadn't seen in a couple of years in Kowloon. That is a bit further than just the next town.

Just be prepared to acknowledge who you are!! The truth almost always works better than some masquerade party excuse.

[amy101]

Try a weekend brake in an other city u can even go enfem frome home to hotel
Im sure it will be lots of fun and a big adventure.

[RedBaron]

I have a full beard and go out in skirts every day. Never had a problem. People are much more accepting than you may think. I am a man wearing skirts, I don't try to look like a woman. From what I understand, you are too. Just go for it, after a couple of times out, you'll ask yourself: what didn't I do that a lot sooner?

[Beverley Sims]

Victoria, you are not disguised like the most of us so beng open to being identified is a real possibility.

[Jana]

I doubt anyone would see you, but if they did, they would think it was your wife with another lady friend.

In addition to being seen, consider the possibility of that someone coming to the table (or whatever else you may be) to say hello... I'm not saying this to scare you, Victoria, but it's good to be prepared.

I like Amy's suggestion of driving somewhere else, especially if you live in a small town.