My Own Space

[Aly Cat]

So today, i was lounging around, playing games and browsing this site when it dawned on me. I could have my own private space! We have a big two story shed in our yard that has been neglected for the last two years. The downstairs concrete area has been filled with crap since we moved in and the upstairs looks like the leftovers from a squatter with beer cans and trash littered everywhere. The whole place has been spider infested and i have avoided it like the plague. Well, today i tackled it. I put the garage door back up on it, cleaned out all the trash from both levels, swept the downstairs and vacuumed the upstairs. I got everything totally clean and got all the spider webs and creepy crawlies out and set off two bug bombs.

Now, my wife and i have had an agreement that i am no longer able to dress if i want to remain married. Not a good arrangement i know, but its what i chose. After spending the last six hours getting everything back in shape, i told my wife that the upstairs was going to be my private place. That over the last few months, i hsve had a terrible time sticking with the agreement and that i was going to use that private space to do my own thing. She got super quiet and clammed up. I have a feeling that she has been under the impression that my crazy mood swings have been coming from my job since i dont mention crossdressing anymore. But now she knows. Im not really making any bargains anymore. Its out of the house in a private area that can be closed up and locked and its what i need.....i need SOMETHING! She has been quiet with me since i told her and im sure a talk is soon to follow once the kids go to bed, but i just know that at this rate, if i dont have this freedom, im going to explode. Im going back to dressing how i need to to be happy.

Now, heres the issue im going to run into. The bugs have been swept out and the remaining ones are being Raid bombed as we speak, but it is not a sealed environment. The upstairs is basically an attic with no insulation and there are openings on the sides to the bottom level. The bottom level is concrete and has nothing sealing out elements or bugs. Its not much, but its all i got. So, with all that being said....how do i protect my clothes, shoes, and anything else i store in there? I dont want bugs or creepy crawlers getting to my stuff, not to mention that its about 80% humidity here in GA and that doesn't do great things to clothing either. The shed is not climate controlled. Any good ideas on how to seal my stuff? Its going to have to stay out there if i want to be able to dress and i soooo want to be able to dress again....2 months of being cut off has felt like an eternity.

[Princess Grandpa]

Hug
I hope this works out well for you. It seems a reasonable solution to me
::flowers::

[Kristy 56]

Eva,not trying to be a wise gal,but I think that you may have bigger issues than bugs. It seems that you've drawn a line in the sand and your SO knows it. I'm in a somewhat similar situation as you right now,and treading very lightly and cautiously.
In any event I hope itall works out the way you want it to. So many tough decisions in life.

[Aly Cat]

Ya, i think she definitely knows it. I am worried about my stuff though. If i cant find a resolution to that issue, me having my own space is going to be a moot point. I know there are definitely bigger issues at hand, but i have to be able to take a step if i plan on going anywhere or doing anything.

[PaulaQ]

Eva Lynn, two things I'd suggest:
1. Talk frankly with your wife about this. Don't cave on what you are doing, but she should hear what you have to say, and you her. Asking her if she wants you to suffer is a fair question, because you are.
2. Weather strip / seal the top part of the shed as best you can, and install a dehumidifier. Preferably one with a heater, for when it's cold.

BTW, if I recall, your wife's objections are supposedly that CDing is a sin, right? I'm thinking, unless she believes that it's a sin for a woman to wear pants, she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

For that matter all the pictures I remember of Jesus from sunday school, when I was a kid, showed Jesus in robes. Not pants - robes. Isn't a robe kind of like a dress?

Isn't the real issue that this freaks people out, and they use a bible verse to justify their fears? When did people decide what was and wasn't a sin based on popularity?

[kimdl93]

I will leave it to you to figure out a way to resolve the impasse with your wife. That wasn't your question.

So, as for protecting your things in this storage unit, I don't suppose you could insulate, dehumidify and heat the space? Even if you put clothes into plastic storage containers, it seems that they get musty and damp over time.

[Aly Cat]

Sadly, there is no power to the shed so a dehumidifier wouldnt work.i could attempt to insulate the place, but there are just so many openings. Ill upload some pics of it once i am able to go back in there. The bomb will take a day or so to clear. Maybe tomorrow, i can upload some. I really hope i can get this thing to work. Its a nice space, its just got some issues lol.

[Tracii G]

Get those bags you can use the vacuum to suck out the air.They work great for storage.
Seal and insulate the building and add drywall.
Humidifier /heater combo is a good idea.
Fugitsu makes a unit called a mini split that is a heater and ac unit both so look into that they work great for small spaces.
She is going to be pissed but be a man and tell her I need this to keep my sanity and if you can't deal with that I'm sorry.Tell her if she were in turmoil over GID you would help her anyway you could.
Sometimes wives like it when you put your foot down.My two ex's did and I should have done it more but that was my fault.

[DeeArel]

Try storage tubs with locking lids. Make sure the lids seat well on the tub.

[Aly Cat]

The vacuum bags and tubs with lids might work and might just be in the budget. Anything else pertaining to controlling the climate is out for now. Ill have to maybe run to Wal-Mart tomorrow and pick that stuff up along with maybe a battery powered florescent strip light so that im not totally in the dark lol. Man, i haven't been this excited in a long while! There is already a chair up there, but maybe i can find a little fold out desk i can set up and bring my laptop out there. Then i can actually be on here AND be dressed! Maybe ill be able to get some new pics in. You ladies will have to put up with my "man in a dress" look though since i wont have makeup or a wig or anything. Hope you all dont mind too much. Im excited! :D

[BillieAnneJean]

You have to seal to stop the bugs.
What color is the roof?
What color are the outside walls?
If the interior space is slightly warmer than the outdoors, the moisture inside will migrate outside.
So painting the walls outside a dark color will help.
You can paint the roof a darker color too.
Now the inside is warmer than outside, but what do you do when it is hotter than hell outside?
A window will ventilate.
It isn't perfect but it is better than nothing.
To really get it, all you need is a window A/C unit for cooling and moisture removal plus an electric strip heater that has the same capacity or somewhat larger than the A/C unit and has a thermostat. During warm periods the A/C de-humidifies and cools (in that order). During cool weather the strip heater heats (well duh) and lowers the humidtity. Yes it does, raising the temperature without adding moisture lowers the humidity. The definition of de-humidification is to cool (A/C unit) without lowering the temperature (electric strip heater). To do that during no A/C load conditions ya gotta run the A/C and the heater at the same time.
But that takes power.
As for the wife, that is a bigger problem. Once God get's called to the discussion all else pales. Good luck.
You can't solve that one with a hundred ton A/C unit and a 600hp water tube steam boiler. Even with a 460volt 3ph service. Which your shed des not have, yet.

[ReineD]

Now, my wife and i have had an agreement that i am no longer able to dress if i want to remain married. Not a good arrangement i know, but its what i chose. After spending the last six hours getting everything back in shape, i told my wife that the upstairs was going to be my private place. That over the last few months, i hsve had a terrible time sticking with the agreement and that i was going to use that private space to do my own thing. She got super quiet and clammed up. I have a feeling that she has been under the impression that my crazy mood swings have been coming from my job since i dont mention crossdressing anymore. But now she knows. Im not really making any bargains anymore.

Ouch. I'm saying this a lot in your threads tonight, but all my spidey senses are telling me that a bomb is about to blow both within you and your wife. You both owe it to your kids to stop your silent, rather stubborn approaches to this, and start talking in a manner that is non-confrontational.

I've just responded in your other thread so I won't repeat everything here, but I do want to say that I don't blame you for having the "no more discussion, it is what it is" attitude. And I also understand why she is not changing her own attitudes, she only found out a few months ago and if she has been raised in a conservative environment, and if she feels as if you lied to her for 10 years, believe me it will take much more than a few months before she can learn to wrap her mind around the fact that the CDing is not a choice for you. You've known about yourself for 18 years, she has only known for a few months, and how long did it take YOU to reach a level of self-acceptance? She cannot possibly come to the same understanding as you, without first going through similar turmoil that you went through.

Please do take the advice from the radio show people who read your letter, and the two of you start seeing a marital counselor. Try to be compassionate to your wife's point of view even if you feel that she is not reciprocating, and don't be too strong with your stances right now. It will only end up blowing up in your face and it may well break up your children's home.

I'm saying this to help you, and not to tell you that you shouldn't CD. Please go see my response in your other thread, and develop more appropriate tactics for dealing with this than you are using now.

:hugs:

[CherylFlint]

You see, my wife is just the opposite of yours. My wife knows I’m the same person underneath irrespective if I’m wearing a shirt or a blouse, a baseball cap or a wig, men’s jeans or women’s jeans.
She accepts my cross-dressing, maybe because I told her on our first date.
She borrows my stuff: I never borrow anything of hers unless she throws it away.
Your wife is missing out in a sharing experience that can be fun and rewarding.
There’s no “cure” for us and your wife’s attitude doesn’t fit reality.
I wish you well, but most of all I wish your wife can figure it out before you two break-up over this.

[Beverley Sims]

I really think this is mediation time.
Be tactful though.

[linda allen]

Sadly, there is no power to the shed so a dehumidifier wouldnt work.i could attempt to insulate the place, but there are just so many openings. .

I don't know how much money you have to spend on this project, but it should be possible to run power underground to the shed. It's probably not practical to heat and aircondition the entire space without insulating it, but you could partition off a section, insulate it, and use a window air conditioner and a space heater or for a few dollars more, a self contained, through the wall heat pump for heating and cooling.

Other than that, plastic storage boxes are available. You could buy or build a closet and weatherstrip it to keep critters out. You can buy humidity control products to control the dampness.

The vacuum bags won't be practical without a vacuum and power to run it.