Persephone
06-12-2013, 03:04 AM
For years now "he" (my alter ego) belonged to a quasi-professional group, one in which he was pretty well regarded as one of the more expert in the field.
Haven't been to one of the meetings in quite some time, partly because of time constraints, but also because it felt uncomfortable continuing to attend as "him," and I was not quite ready to attend as me.
Well, tonight was the night I decided it was time to get back in the game.
I didn't get out of the house quite as I had planned. I'd planned on an hour to reshave, shower, reapply makeup, get dressed, and redo my hair. After all, I wanted to look my best.
But real life isn't like that. I was caught up in working with some people and instead of the hour I got barely 20 minutes!
So denim skirt and soft feminine top with wedge sandals, in full woman mode, but with hair a bit more frazzled and not quite as composed as planned, I headed off to the meeting. That has to sound totally familiar to the GG's here!
When I got to the meeting I was greeted by the one guy in the group who already knows. He took me around to a couple of the guys and introduced me as Barbara. He was wonderful! A real lifesaver!
He even introduced me to the leader of the group, a guy who has known my male self pretty well for several years. He greeted me in a friendly manner, like he would any stranger being introduced to him, and then he kinda froze, his eyes wide open and not blinking, staring at me.
He kinda gasped, "We've met before."
"Yes," I said, "I feel that too. Maybe we knew each other in a past life?"
"Past life," he kinda mumbled, still staring.
I wasn't going to let him die out there so I said, "You feel something, say it."
"When I knew you before you had a different name," he said.
"I did," I said, "Who do you think I was?"
And he said a different name! Not mine!
I said, "No, not him, I was ... " and I told him my male name.
He couldn't believe it!
I said, "But let's keep it our little secret, shall we?"
"Sure!" he said, and we hugged and he showed me a picture of his new granddaughter!
It is definitely a boy's club, always has been. There were probably 20+ guys in the room and there were two other women, one of whom was a guest of a member.
I knew about five of the guys pretty well, other than the two I've already mentioned, and about 6 or 7 of the guys I'd been at a few meeting and exchanged pleasantries with, and the rest were fairly new members I really didn't know.
So far as I could tell, none of the others recognized me!
One of the guys I'd known pretty well over the years said "Hi, nice to see you," but didn't seem to notice that anything had changed. I think he didn't realize who I had been or he might have been a bit more enthused and conversational; it was kinda like he knew he'd seen me someplace, maybe at some of the meetings, but wasn't quite sure.
One of the others is a guy who has known me quite well in my male past and who probably would have been glad to see me, but just kinda glanced at me as a woman he didn't particularly recognize, even though he and I were about 3 feet apart for most of the evening.
I chatted with a few of the new people. One even got into a discussion with me about how it was mostly a "boy's club." He wanted to know how I'd been drawn to the field as a woman!
The evening program was incredibly good and I throughly enjoyed it. I plan to continue attending. I gave the guy in charge my female business card and asked him to change my name on the roster. He said he was glad to have me back in the group and would take care of the name change.
I love my life!
Hugs,
Persephone.
Haven't been to one of the meetings in quite some time, partly because of time constraints, but also because it felt uncomfortable continuing to attend as "him," and I was not quite ready to attend as me.
Well, tonight was the night I decided it was time to get back in the game.
I didn't get out of the house quite as I had planned. I'd planned on an hour to reshave, shower, reapply makeup, get dressed, and redo my hair. After all, I wanted to look my best.
But real life isn't like that. I was caught up in working with some people and instead of the hour I got barely 20 minutes!
So denim skirt and soft feminine top with wedge sandals, in full woman mode, but with hair a bit more frazzled and not quite as composed as planned, I headed off to the meeting. That has to sound totally familiar to the GG's here!
When I got to the meeting I was greeted by the one guy in the group who already knows. He took me around to a couple of the guys and introduced me as Barbara. He was wonderful! A real lifesaver!
He even introduced me to the leader of the group, a guy who has known my male self pretty well for several years. He greeted me in a friendly manner, like he would any stranger being introduced to him, and then he kinda froze, his eyes wide open and not blinking, staring at me.
He kinda gasped, "We've met before."
"Yes," I said, "I feel that too. Maybe we knew each other in a past life?"
"Past life," he kinda mumbled, still staring.
I wasn't going to let him die out there so I said, "You feel something, say it."
"When I knew you before you had a different name," he said.
"I did," I said, "Who do you think I was?"
And he said a different name! Not mine!
I said, "No, not him, I was ... " and I told him my male name.
He couldn't believe it!
I said, "But let's keep it our little secret, shall we?"
"Sure!" he said, and we hugged and he showed me a picture of his new granddaughter!
It is definitely a boy's club, always has been. There were probably 20+ guys in the room and there were two other women, one of whom was a guest of a member.
I knew about five of the guys pretty well, other than the two I've already mentioned, and about 6 or 7 of the guys I'd been at a few meeting and exchanged pleasantries with, and the rest were fairly new members I really didn't know.
So far as I could tell, none of the others recognized me!
One of the guys I'd known pretty well over the years said "Hi, nice to see you," but didn't seem to notice that anything had changed. I think he didn't realize who I had been or he might have been a bit more enthused and conversational; it was kinda like he knew he'd seen me someplace, maybe at some of the meetings, but wasn't quite sure.
One of the others is a guy who has known me quite well in my male past and who probably would have been glad to see me, but just kinda glanced at me as a woman he didn't particularly recognize, even though he and I were about 3 feet apart for most of the evening.
I chatted with a few of the new people. One even got into a discussion with me about how it was mostly a "boy's club." He wanted to know how I'd been drawn to the field as a woman!
The evening program was incredibly good and I throughly enjoyed it. I plan to continue attending. I gave the guy in charge my female business card and asked him to change my name on the roster. He said he was glad to have me back in the group and would take care of the name change.
I love my life!
Hugs,
Persephone.