Is Restriction from being yourself cause You to go overboard?

[MysticLady]

Hello All.

I was just pondering this idea. I speak from an experience I had myself. As most of you know, my wife and I are separated and now I have the opportunity to dress and be feminine everyday. Yet I don't. The last time I dressed was @ a month ago. though I tend my myself constantly regarding my nails, skin and so on than before. When I was with my wife, I felt restricted and felt like I wanted more than was "allowed". I felt like maybe I did want to be a woman and maybe I should announce that so that my dressing would be accepted by loved ones so that I could just be able to dress to be happy. Since its human nature to want something we can't have I wonder if this is the case w/ many that are in situations where they can't be who they want to be therefore feeling like they may want more than they truly do. My wife was not tolerating or would even consider accepting this part of me. She was fiercely rejecting it tooth and nail. Now being alone I have the freedom to do become a woman if I wanted too but I don't want that. I wonder for those of you that have other responsibilities that prevent you from being yourself affect you in this way. Or, are there other things that I'm not even aware of that you're experiencing? Just Wondering as usual:)

[Beverley Sims]

I do not let the problem overwhelm me, I just wait as another window of opportunity will come along soon.

[Nicole Erin]

Once one is given a pass to do as they want, suddenly the activity doesn't seem as important.

[Karren H]

Whose restricted? ......

[Ravin_nightshade]

It funny I was just thinking about this same topic last night. I find my self taking chances I don't normally take just to make time for it. The less time I have to dress the more willing I am to take chances and the further im willing to go.

[JamieG]

I think you might have something there. I think a lot of inner struggle comes from not being able to dress and act a certain way at certain times because my wife, neighbors or boss might disprove. However, I suspect that if I didn't have this barrier, I wouldn't want to do these things as much. At times I really wished I had "gotten it out of my system" early and found out exactly what I needed to reach my CDing equilibrium before I got married and had a family. But on the other hand, if I had done that, I might not have ended up with the family I have now, and that thought just kills me.

[Jaylyn]

Mystic, Mystic, Mystic. You can certainly make a gal scratch her head thinking about some of the questions you ask..... Lol I think it was you that told me how lucky I was to have a wife that approves and helps me. I was restricted when I had four kids around the house and felt at times I was just being robbed of getting to be myself. I just plain didn't get to dress but every now and then would sneak in a little make up when they had all went to a movie or wife and I were away. It kind of soothed the inner spirit for a while and I just had to accept it for what was. Wouldn't do any thing to upset my family apple cart. You may be more like me in some ways. I still even after all the kids have families of there own still enjoy my man time. I don't dress as much as I thought I would when all the kids were gone. I seem to have to satisfy that mode though when it hits. I now have more tools to satisfy it with now. Could be more more money to spend on the hobby I call it. I know my man hobbies have gotten a lot more expensive, new bass boat, new fifth wheel camper, new hunting equipment, new trucks and yes my female play time has gotten more expensive. Now have higher heels, better wigs and even some great forms and wife has me buy the better makeup. I think even though I have more time to play I don't as much, as i thought i would, but do just enjoy it more each time. Hope that makes sense. I now am older and just put every thing in perspective, I really don't want to be a woman as much as I want to stay a man. I do enjoy being dressed as a woman more now that I can do it when I want. I still get very aroused by it. Heck I get aroused by catching a big bass, or getting a big buck. Maybe I should say excited not aroused as that is also what I feel when dressed. I know I rambled but maybe you can figure out what I mean. You just keep wondering Mystic cause I do a lot of that also. Hope one day we can get all the Texas gals in one safe place... I know you have been out but me ummmmmm still wondering about that.....

[MysticLady]

Once one is given a pass to do as they want, suddenly the activity doesn't seem as important.

I Agree. It's Human Nature I suspect.

[TeresaCD]

I would think this is true - how often do we want what we can't have?
I note you are saying, too, that you still are expressing yourself, just in different ways as freedom allows.
(nails, skin etc..)

[noeleena]

Hi,

Restriction, how long back should one go. from being myself, i cant apply the overboard part.

Being shut down ,locked down more like, not being able to express myself , i was never sure why, maybe i did not understand things or myself to know any different at the time, close to 45 years, yet i knew who & what i was & that was about it,

Some things happened to me early on dont know what yet it effected me till 20 years ago then i knew what i was going to do.
I would say for some it would be very strange to not wont to be a woman, let alone dress, odd to say the least yet my history was one of leading to who i am today, all the clothes i need, liveing as i should being accepted as i should so it was never a wont it was the way it was ment to be,

I know some would say i had a .... you can choose what you wont, did i ...no... not how im wired, not what my body did, my hormones said, i did not have to fight myself to know this is who i am so as i was told you have a life then live it, this is what im doing, had i not you would not be reading this or other posts iv writen,

so it can be very different what makes us who we are, so haveing what .. ( we cant have ) & then haveing that why then do we not wont it, as has been said,

Is it then the taboo been lifted, Hmmm i wonder .

...noeleena...

[MysticLady]

Hi,

Restriction, how long back should one go. from being myself, i cant apply the overboard part.

Being shut down ,locked down more like, not being able to express myself , i was never sure why, maybe i did not understand things or myself to know any different at the time, close to 45 years, yet i knew who & what i was & that was about it,


Noeleena, sometimes the restrictions could be our own selves just not wanting any part of this because of the peer pressure from society. :sad: Sometimes we must overcome what society thinks and be ourselves.

Go West young man..............there's gold in them there hills:D
Don't worry about the Indians...........they're friendly

[Erica2Sweet]

Men are not generally taught good introspection skills when we are young and under the care of our parents. As boys, we most often are taught a completely different skill set to prepare us for life that generally involves accomplishing physical tasks rather than examining internal feelings. So, those of us who do begin at some point to explore the feminine side of ourselves, are basically doing so without the skills bestowed upon genetic girls by their caregivers and peers. This lack of a "fitting" skill set leads us boys to less than stellar self examination, which leads to less than stellar decision making regarding our feminine sides. It's all due to an understandable lack of understanding of complex emotional stuff. All this holds true until (or unless) we as boys wanting to experience life from the female perspective take it upon ourselves to put time and effort into developing some of those skills that we missed out on growing up because we weren't taught those things girls generally are.

So, once again, being female or feminine isn't all about the clothes. It's a mindset and a culmination of a lifetime of experiences from a completely different perspective than we witness as boys/men.

This is exactly why, in my opinion, so many with GID look to transition as the holy grail of accomplishments... and once that's complete, so many still find themselves unhappy in life. In reality, it's often the wrong solution to what is really at work within ourselves. We see a problem, but instead of using good introspection skills to resolve the issues with the least amount of deconstruction, we do what boys do... Try to fix it with whatever tools we have at the time as best we can. Unfortunately, we figure the bigger and more powerful the tools we use, the better, and we start removing parts we think don't work right.

[MysticLady]

Men are not generally taught good introspection skills when we are young and under the care of our parents. As boys, we most often are taught a completely different skill set to prepare us for life that generally involves accomplishing physical tasks rather than examining internal feelings.


Hi Erica
Yes, I agree. For example, my 3 boys, I'm trying to teach them to stand alone. They will the ones supporting their families if they decide to marry and have children. I'm grilling into them the fact that if they bring a child into the world w/o wedlock, that child, plus his or her children, will be their responsibility for the rest of their lives. I'm bringing them up as some our friends call it "rough w/ minimal affection". If I was raising girls, the story would be different. I would try to teach them skills on seeking a man that they would be able to spend the rest of their lives with aside from also skills to be self sufficient. I suspect the wife would handle this better than I would regarding raising girls.



This is exactly why, in my opinion, so many with GID look to transition as the holy grail of accomplishments... and once that's complete, so many still find themselves unhappy in life.

I agree, but, will they accept this opinion or deny it because of prideful issues or just lack of understanding. I understand that in some cases that dysphoria is a very difficult dilemma and my heart goes out to the ones battling it.:hugs:

[Alice Torn]

You are right. Human nature. It never has enough! Once we get what we crave for, it soon becomes boring, or not so great. Like nations, that fight for their freedom, then get it, then slowly go down hill, and take it all for granted, then eventually lose their freedom. Humans are both great, and foolish.

[~Joanne~]

I felt restricted and felt like I wanted more than was "allowed".

There's that word again lol My SO is fully and truly accepting/supportive so I don't have any restrictions other than the ones I put on myself due to fears and the like. Hopefully one day this will come to pass. Just yesterday, we went to a park and I dressed and we took some pictures which is the very first time I have been out in public non halloween in femme.

I am sure you will find that most girls here are restricted in one way or another due to their jobs, family, and other responsibilities. I can easily see going "overboard" when the opportunity to dress presents itself .

[Kate Simmons]

Not at all Hon. I am never restricted from being myself one way or the other. I've gotten to the point where dressing or not dressing is totally my own choice and not based on compulsion. I enjoy being myself either way in any case.:)

[MysticLady]

For all you women out there in TV land that are married to Crossdressers.................................Take note:heehee::hugs: