Do we ever outgrow Crossdressing or is it who we are?

[GinaM]

I ask this because we've all been thru phases in our lives where we're into certain things and then we get bored and move on. Is CDing like this or is it just who we are? I always wanted to dress even when I was a little kid but then wouldn't have the desire for years at a time and it would come back strong etc. Lately, it's been a bigger part of my life than it has before where I now have my own wardrobe, makeup, shoes etc.

I see a ton of people on this forum that are much older and I'm curious if CDing has been with them for the entire lives or if it is something that will just go away and possibly not come back? I do enjoy CDing and get pleasure from it but I also have stress with it and sometimes spend way too much money on it.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Maybe you will get tired of it. I'm in about a year and it's never been better than today.

And maybe you will see something good in it and also say, it's too much work. It is. Even if we opt out of makeup, forms, heels, etc, there still is the watching out for the neighbors and family. All the thinking to not get caught.

I asked what you and and probably will again. My list of must have cravings being storage area material goes into the thousands. It was like that with musical instruments. But I still have them and must play them too, sometime in my life.

The verdict? You'll grow tired of it and take up building model boats. Then model boats with a dress. Than doll houses with a tutu. Or you'll get a job on the line and not worry about anything but freezing. Cheers, rbbn.

[suzy1]

This subject has been covered a lot on this forum.
We are all different so you can’t say categorically that you will never outgrow it but the odds are that you never will.

My advice, just enjoy this side to your life, I love it!:dance:

[Heather Daniels]

Suzy makes a good point but, I really think this is a lifelong thing. After 40+ years of dressing, I am still drawn to it and unfortunately, probably always will be. Look around the forum. We have members in their 70's and 80's that are still doing it. To me, that says it's something that's here to stay.

[GinaM]

Suzy makes a good point but, I really think this is a lifelong thing. After 40+ years of dressing, I am still drawn to it and unfortunately, probably always will be. Look around the forum. We have members in their 70's and 80's that are still doing it. To me, that says it's something that's here to stay.

That's why I posted this I was looking at photos with gals in their 70s+ and am curious if this will be a life-long hobby. Crazy!

[suzy1]

That's why I posted this I was looking at photos with gals in their 70s+ and am curious if this will be a life-long hobby. Crazy!

Crazy can still be nice you know Gina.

Life is for having fun. [Have I said that before?]:thinking:

[Jaylyn]

I have been enjoying dressing off and on as time and would allow since I was a very young boy in moms girdles and hose. I enjoy it more now at 63 than I ever had at 40. I had a family to support and that gets in the way of expressing who we are, or at least put on hold till time and finances permit. My wife has always knew I had this side even though she says married a rugged manly man. She says just the way I acted when she would dress for me and wear a deep red lipstick then she would kiss me on the lips. She says she noticed how I didn't want to wipe it off. Once after several years of marriage she fixed my face with makeup and she said she noticed a significant increase in the arousal and passion when we made love. She now knows 100% everything when I finally told her how I felt and she said just don't turn into a woman for real. I reassured her I was still the man she married but just enjoyed playing a tender woman from time to time. I have had this inclination my whole life in answer to your question.

[Heather Daniels]

Gina, it's not "just a hobby" to some. A lot of people here have feelings that run very deep concerning this. Otherwise, we wouldn't jeopardize our careers, family situations and mental health over it.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Gina, it's not "just a hobby" to some. A lot of people here have feelings that run very deep concerning this. Otherwise, we wouldn't jeopardize our careers, family situations and mental health over it. Gina, to be more serious. This is how I feel too. And another thing, I read in this site that most CDs agree, they kept weight down when they were dressing. I do. Can't afford a good corset...but can dream about it. Follow your heart the best you can.

[Karren H]

I've out grown the clothes before.... but never out grown wearing the clothes....

[Barbara Ella]

I am new to this at 66. It is not going away, only the clothes will change as the years pile up, and the heels go down...lol. It may be different for you, but not to worry. As long as you enjoy it, you will keep doing it. If it gets to that point where you don't, then you won't. Yes there is stress, but as you get older, some of those stresses are removed, and it can get even more enjoyable.

Barbara

[Wildaboutheels]

I think it highly unproductive to put any faith at all here in what people look like [regardless of their age] because of the pics they post. This IS the Internet.

That's not to say everyone uses "misleading" pics.

Some will SURELY WHINE about people w/o pics. THAT'S what happens when folks do not PAY ATTENTION.

PAY ATTENTION was also one of the segments on NGC's BRAIN GAMES. It clearly [beyond any shadow of a doubt] showed that most CDers biggest enemy can be found in their own mirror.

People who get NOTHING OUT OF IT will probably give it up. Trying to look/present/pass as a woman IS a lot more work than as a man.

[Heather Daniels]

I think it highly unproductive to put any faith at all here in what people look like [regardless of their age] because of the pics they post. This IS the Internet.

That's not to say everyone uses "misleading" pics.

Some will SURELY WHINE about people w/o pics. THAT'S what happens when folks do not PAY ATTENTION.

PAY ATTENTION was also one of the segments on NGC's BRAIN GAMES. It clearly [beyond any shadow of a doubt] showed that most CDers biggest enemy can be found in their own mirror.

People who get NOTHING OUT OF IT will probably give it up. Trying to look/present/pass as a woman IS a lot more work than as a man.

You've gotten me curious about a couple things here.

#1 What do peoples pictures have to do with this?
#2 If one gets nothing out of it, why even do it in the first place?
Wildaboutheels... you say that people don't listen or pay attention...were you perhaps guilty of this in this thread?

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Re: Being the Woman You Want to Be: I thought I could pass if I tried hard enough. Not even close. I made a post shortly after Christmas telling about the adventure. It was disaster going to the theater but the Christmas musical was great.

What I remember most from trying that was how rote it was for me to get ready in the hotel when all the travel want haywire. I felt like a very tired woman going through the motions, just to say I did it. The topper was when I walked two blocks in frigid downtown Chicago weather with ice on the sidewalk wearing heels two sizes too large.

[Kati F]

I'll have to agree with what Suzy had to say.

Me personally... I have had the need to dress come and go throughout my life but the desire has never gone away...

[Princess Grandpa]

I have needed to dress my entire life. Only now have I allowed myself. I sure hope its not going anywhere.

[sarahcrossed]

I've found that it depends on the situation in your life. As for me, if i had roommates and couldn't dress or i don't have any thing to wear then i do not dress as much if at all. Like recently i haven't really dressed up much because i don't have a wig and I'm to the point where i enjoy it more if i can feel as beautiful as possible. So when i start working and can afford to purchase a new wig and maybe a new dress then i think ill dress up a little more. hopefully My so wont mind. Though she has said i could have some of her old dresses that don't fit any more. She is supportive i just don't want to overwhelm her.

[Stephanie47]

Gina, the answer to your question will be evident when you're in a pine box. If you ever figure out why you feel the need to put on women's clothing, maybe you will be able to stop cross dressing. I am not talking about transsexuals. I'm just talking about the need. Ever try to figure out when you feel the need? What are the forces being exerted on you? Or the absence of something in your life? When one feels the need to escape stress, why not use alcohol or drugs? Or buy a fishing boat? Or build plastic military models?

If you go back and read some of my comments, I've always indicated I am free to wear women's clothing five days a week for seven plus hours a day. Lately, even though as today, I have absolutely no desire to dress. Why not? I have no clue. Next week? Will it be the same? I don't know. I think right now my life is totally stress free.

If you're spending too much time and money on recreational cross dressing, then you need to broaden your horizons. You may need more balance in your life. Now, before someone jumps my @ss I have the same advice for my friends and relatives who spend entirely too much time playing handheld games on their gizmos.

[Trish]

I've been dressing about 45 years. I don't think I'll ever out grow it.

[Lynn Marie]

Do we ever outgrow Crossdressing or is it who we are?
I'll let you know when I give away my wardrobe and leave here.

[danielletorresani]

I find that I go through 1 to 2 year long phases of not caring to do it, but for the last 20 years, I've always come back to it.

[Daryl]

For me it increased after I retired. I dress everyday but am still able pass as a male. I'm still buying things when I can save some pennys to buy more clothes. I don't
think it will ever go away.

[mikiSJ]

I think it is possible for CDing to become insignificant in your life. It is necessary to understand that there is a wide spectrum of gender that each of us lives on and where we find ourselves on that spectrum will determine how important it is to CD.

When I was young, CDing was mostly fetishistic. Now, in my sixties, being the feminine Miki is more important than the clothes and when I am dressed, there is no sexual excitement - only the excitement of knowing the Miki is happy at that moment - and I will never outgrow that feeling.

[ShelbyDawn]

I have been dressing off and on since I was about 7.
What I have learned very recently is that this is part of who I am and more than anything else, it is growing WITH me.

Shelby

[ReineD]

It's not one answer fits all, Gina, because there are different motives for wanting to present in a gender that is different than birth sex. It is fetish for some people, and gender incongruence for others. And the nature of a compulsion or fetish can cause chemical reactions in the brain for some people that will change them permanently.

Some people for whom it is fetish will make the decision to stop, if the fetish causes negative consequences in their lives. These people don't tend to hang out here so it may seem, if you only take into account the membership here, as if the cross-sex expression is there for life. Certainly, if it is a matter of gender incongruence then it is there for life.

Another aspect is the degree of gender incongruence. Some people are born transsexual and they are solidly at the end of the gender spectrum that is opposite their birth sex. It isn't as clear for other individuals who may want to change part of their bodies but not their entire body. And it isn't always clear whether the wanting to alter bodies (such as developing breasts and nothing else), is motivated by sexual fetish, non-sexual fetish, or gender non-conformity.

I can tell you about my SO though. She told me a few years ago than when she was in her 20s, she always assumed that the desire to present as a woman would disappear in middle age (I assume once the ability to appear as an attractive young woman became an impossibility). But, in her 50s she realized that she would wish to engage in cross-sex expression until the rest of her life. My SO identifies as dual-gender which is a form of gender non-conformity: somewhere in the middle between fully male and fully female, even though even this gender idendity feels vastly different than just being male, in fact, when my SO is dressed she feels very feminine.

So you rather asked a question to which there is no simple answer. :p

[kimdl93]

I doubt that any of us are attracted to CDing entirely by environmental or experiential forces. There almost certainly is some condition of genetic or developmental origins that predisposes one to CD. However, I subscribe to the idea that each of us can also exercise free will. The choice to dress or not is ours, even if the desire is ingrained.

[Lucy_Bella]

I don't think it ever stops just my opinion.. I believe it can be contained and controlled that is just a matter of how you embrace it..If you want to feed it ,it will grow and your dressing will progress, soon you reach a higher level or you will require more out of dressing just to be satisfied with it..

Like anything on this earth l there is always a opposite, our phases can sometimes prevent or add to the end result..What I mean is we can wear the same thing every night, soon it will bore you to do this and after awhile it will stop or slow down your process .. Most of us seem to have the ability to advance in these processes by keeping the drive to dress alive but even that has limits..Your drive is what mechanizes the process, do you dress because you want to feel feminine? Or do you dress to satisfy a fetish? So it depends on how strong that drive is at what goal it is( you are) seeking .. Do you want to be a woman full time? Yes?

When driven to that goal the process ( being a woman full time) is reached and the goal is finally met.. If No ? Then the drive will continue searching for the goal in what seems like phases or something new that has happen in order to satisfy the drive to a goal that needs to be met .. But the true goal is never met and that's why it continues to grow and it also repeats the previous growth to the new..In other words you are in a spiral..

Until you reach what drives you it will continue to grow in searching for the answers...Many may never find those answers while few do..

[Christine.Lolita]

From everything I know about cross dressing and my own personal experience it is something that is with us for our entire lives.

[ME2.0]

I think it depends on your motives. Everyone dresses for a reason. If your reason is fetish, probably not a lifetime thing. If your reason is you think it's an artform, probably not a lifetime. If you reason is rebellion, usually short lived. If your reason is you have a feminine side that you think is every bit as important as your masculine side, and you're comfortable sharing your body with both sides, then it could be for life.

Everyone does this hobby for a reason, maybe it's one that they don't even know themselves. But everyone also has differing amounts of dedication to the lifestyle. If you asked the 17 year old me what was cool, I would have told you Camaro's and Motley Crue! I didn't think that would ever change, why would it? Now at 39, my life is much different. A lot of people on this board will have that same mentality. The ones that have moved on, really don't have a reason to come to this board and give their opinion, so your responses will be very skewed to "Yeah, I'll be doing this till I die, and I'll be buried in a dress and heels!"

I'm one of the "in touch with my feminine side" and a bit of the "think it's art". I'm not sure if I'll be doing this in 20 years. Maybe something else will catch my fancy, maybe it won't. I don't think 99% of the people would be right if they told you what their life will be like in 20 years, much less a lifetime. I don't mean to be so negative, but when we all started crossdressing, the overwhelming urge at first is to jump into a world of pink and black lace wonderment. It does fade a little. How much depends on the person.

Hugs (for now, and maybe a lifetime)
Staci

[Kandy Barr]

I can't speak for anyone else but at 61 I'm in a situation where it is up to me and me only how I dress. It hasn't always been that way and when it wasn't conformable to do so I wouldn't wear anything fem at all. I've been cding moat all my life and as far back as my memory serves me I've always desired to wear women's attire. My point is, for me there were lulls where I didn't dress at all, but as soon as I was in a situation that was comfortable Kandy would be front and center. I can say through out my life I've never lost my desire to dress but I have been able to curtail it when necessary, now with my time my own I am enjoying a degree of cding that is most satisfying. Going stronger than ever and no end in sight.

[Cheryl T]

For me it's who I am.
I tried for so many years to purge and move on, to "outgrow" or whatever this need, but I have come to realize it really is who I am. It's always been with me and always will.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have know some folks who eventually stopped dressing, but it is not common. It is possible for some to lose the desire to dress over time, but for most it is a lifetime thing, even if they start dressing later in life.

[Beverley Sims]

I think dressing plays a big part in our lives and I would assume you would not be an exception.

[Samantha_Smile]

Well Ive been dressing now (at varying levels of 'completeness' and frequency) for 18 years. I'm 31 in Sept. so that's more than half my life.
I've invested time and money on wardrobe, makeup, techniques, wider reading on the subject, discussions with others online, and I honestly don't see myself stopping in the NEXT 18 years.
The compulsion always arises at around a week in drab, and I go with it.
CDing makes my life better. Im a calmer person with a wider world view. So if I DO grow out of it, it sure better be something special that takes its place.

[NicoleScott]

For those who dress for sexual pleasure, the drive to dress might subside/disappear with age. Until then, dressing might allow someone to remain sexually excitable longer.

[Erica2Sweet]

...and I'm curious if CDing has been with them for the entire lives or if it is something that will just go away and possibly not come back?...

It's been a part of who I am since very early childhood, and the more I have embraced and explored it, the more intertwined it and I have become on a multitude of levels. I don't realistically see how someday it would just go away.

If at this point you have your own makeup, wardrobe and shoes, and as I see you seem to have chosen a feminine name to attach to the reflection you see in the mirror, then I suspect you're already in possession of, and are nurturing, a second-gender identity on some levels. Congratulations in achieving your duality! ;)

Sometimes it will be a blessing, other times, more like a curse... :)

[Traceyjo]

Gina, I didn't discover the joy of CDing until I was well into my 30's. I've loved it ever since and there's no sign of it going away. I definitely don't want the pleasure of it to fade , Why would I wish away something I love so much and fortunately feel entirely comfortable with.

[renee elizabeth]

don't think i will ever outgrow it, ive been crossdressing ever since i was a kid and now i'm in my 40's, i've tried to purge and deny it for so long, now i realize the urges will always be there

[Ally 2112]

I have been at it for about 30 yrs and it is stronger than ever .Maybe it is because of acceptance or something else who knows ? .I have also in my younger years tried everthing to stop it but to no avail so i figure it will always be with me

[happyallie]

When ever I am away from dressing an extended period of time. It comes back stronger. And if I must say so, better.

[Chickhe]

A lot of people say you won't, but I'm not so sure. In a way its like asking will you get tired of your right arm....maybe you get really used to it and almost don't notice it, but its there to stay. ...but in a way, if you are so comfortable with it that you don't notice it, then in a way it is gone.

[k lynn]

don't think i will ever outgrow it, ive been crossdressing ever since i was a kid and now i'm in my 40's, i've tried to purge and deny it for so long, now i realize the urges will always be there

I have enjoyed and hated this side of me since age 7 now almost 49 I have come to relize it will always be partof me although I am mainly aunderdresser if Igo more than 3 days with out wearing a bra I become a totally different person then I know its time to put the bra back on

[Rebecca W.]

For me, it started many,many decades ago. Will it ever stop, the need and the urge to dress, never. I can say that I have tried to erase it out of my life and it cannot be done. I deal with it, and I let her out when she needs to be present. Why destroy your life denying this side of your life? It is something that is very special, a gift that not everyone has and it is given to us for a reason.

Rebecca is a calming presence in my life and without her, my life would be so much more difficult to deal with. Have you ever had a bad day and then slipped on a nice dress with all of the lingerie and had all of the issues just melt away?

It is better to grow with the feelings of cross dressing and to just learn how much of it needs to be in your life.

[Joanne f]

Most will know that there are many different reasons for starting to dress but I would have a guess that if you started in your teens or earlier and you have not stopped by your mid twenties then you are not going to stop , many years ago I assumed that I would grow out of it , well guess what , I have not , the desire is just the same although the motive behind it might have changed a bit or should I say the knowledge of the motive has changed , but anything is possible or so they tell me :D

[Laura28]

For me i would have to say no. I started when i was very young trying on my mothers things over the years the need has come and gone but even when i didnt feel the need to dress i loved looking at bras and female cloths when shopping for my wife or just in a store. Now the urge is stronger then ever i am 55 yrs old and i (thanks to this forum) have come to except it is a part of me and have embraced it. i am lucky my SO is fine with me dressing, we have been together for 32 years and she has known i enjoyed dressing over the years but in the past few years it has really taken over more and more, she is still ok with it. In my case i would have to say if i havent out grown yet i guess i never will and to be honest i dont want to out grow it anymore.

[Sonya]

I can tell you about my SO though. She told me a few years ago than when she was in her 20s, she always assumed that the desire to present as a woman would disappear in middle age (I assume once the ability to appear as an attractive young woman became an impossibility).

This was exactly how i was thinking, I will be 40 soon and i still think it is possible to look attractive but i still have trouble seeing my self dressed after 50. I almost feel like i have to do as much as i can in the next few years so that i don't have much regret at my older age.

[Annaliese2010]

Depends on the individual. And it ISN'T about the exterior thing of 'crossdressing'. If you are truly more feminine than masculine wrt that inner naturally occuring inborn personality to whom you IDENTIFY? So called 'crossdressing' is simply a natural expression of YOU as the girl you ARE.

Why such a focus on the act of crossdressing? I never got that.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gina, At 70.5 years old I've been dressing for over 65Yrs. it just keeps on getting better I love dressing to the nines sometimes
and every time that I dress I try to look as feminine as possible I love wearing my 4"& 5" heels.
Once a lady Always a lady.

[irishsissy]

I don,t know,, I,m pushin 50 and I get this undescribed feeling when I,m dressed. When the day comes when that feeling is,nt there anymore then I know my time has come to give up. I,m hoping that feeling will last for ever.

[NathalieX66]

Gender means nothing to me.
I am a staunch believer that the soul has no gender.
I play it both ways, and my female side is a very deep side of me....and it will never go away.
I enjoy life, and make the best of it. .....I just go.

[Traceyjo]

Although I discovered the joy of crossdressing later in life, I know it's definitley not going away. The pleasure from it and compulsion to take every opportunity to dress are both as intense as ever and I just dread the time that may come when I'm no longer able to experience this wonderful gift I discovered.

[Frances nj]

Sorry don't think we ever out grow the joy we get dressing . I tried to stop but always came back to it .

[Leslie Langford]

I just turned 65 years old and am still going strong. If anything, "Leslie" has emerged with a vengeance ever since my children grew up, moved out of the house, and retirement offered me plenty of free time to experiment with my feminine side despite some DADT restrictions still required by my wife.

As Popeye would have put it, "I yam what I yam!" ;)

[shawnsheila]

Hi Gina,
for me I had a similar story to you. It started out with huge gaps in between but now that I am 36, I do it almost everyday when no one is home. I want to go full time for a while to see he it is but I have to work that out with my wife. Bottom line is that, for me, it has grown stronger to dress over the years and yes there are days I feel it is too much work to do it up fully but I still live dolling myself up :)

[Sarahwithanh11]

Stop? It's going the other way. As I get older I want to dress more and go out more.

Until I was about 30 I just wanted to wear single items once in a while. A few years later I was up to full outfits. A few years after that I discovered makeup. Then I started going out. Then going out more often. I'm not sure where it's going or where it will stop.

I like my current life too much to go full-time right now. That would bring major changes, obviously. Who knows what the future will bring.