Well not exactly caught

[Barbra P]

My Wife isn’t what you might call real supportive, she won’t go out with me and she doesn’t like me going out – says it embarrasses her. While I’m not fully all right with that, out of respect for my Wife I pretty much stay in and around the house. That includes both the fenced back yard and the non-fenced front yard; many of my neighbors have seen me, I’ve talked with a good deal of them and a lot of them say Hi and/or wave when they walk or drive by.

We recently bought some cookie dough from Sue to support her daughter, one of those school projects. I was out in the driveway but close to the street when she drove by and waved, but then rather than turn into her driveway, she lives on the other side of the street, she stopped and backed up. She asked if I still had a particular ad from Sunday’s paper and then her Daughter mentioned cookie dough. She got out of the car and came around and opened the trunk and was sorting through several boxes filled with tubs of cookie dough when I looked up and saw a white pickup coming down the street. The truck pulled over and parked next to the curb about three or feet behind us and when I turned and looked I realized it was Bryan, the man who mows our lawn. I took our two tubs of cookie dough and headed for the house.

Once inside I told my Wife that Bryan was here and he saw me; she was not at all pleased. Me, I thought what the heck the cat is out of the bag and went in the bathroom to put on some fresh lipstick and check out the rest of my makeup since it was going on 4 pm and I had been dressed since about 9 am. I was headed out the side door, which opens on to the driveway when my wife motioned for me to go back inside. A little while later when she came in she said Bryan thought I was her sister. I asked if that was what she told him and she said no he said “I saw your sister . . .” or something to that affect – he is Vietnamese and his English isn’t the best.

Well maybe I look better than I thought, or maybe he was just being polite and didn’t want to just ask if it was me he had seen. Until proven different I’ll go with I look better than I thought.

[Debra Russell]

If you go out - no matter where you go - do it with confidence or this type of occurence will plague you ..... and always keep your wife in mind........................Debra

[Beverley Sims]

I have been caught a number of times in fleeting glimpses or by someone that did not know me well.
I have always been able to explain it away as people do not believe what they see.

[Barbra P]

I had enough confidence to be standing out in the street talking to the woman who lives a couple houses down the street and I had enough confidence to meet the Mailman at the front door and take the dog for a walk around the block a couple hours earlier. My problem wasn’t a lack of confidence per se but rather that my Wife would be upset that Bryan now knew.

If in fact he really did think I was a woman, maybe my Wife’s sister, that’s great for my Wife. I’m pleased to be mistaken for my Wife’s sister* but that means I still have to be on the lookout for Bryan and scurry into the house if I see his truck coming down the street. It’s difficult to be really confident when I’m on a leash that prevents me from meeting new people.

* I’m guessing there is absolutely no hope of getting my Wife to call me Sis, by Daughter does call me Aunt Barbra.

[linda allen]

Except for your wife and close family or very close friends, you can't be "out" to some people and not to others. If your neighbors see you dressed as a woman and that's OK with you, why would it matter if your lawn guy sees you?

[Barbra P]

Hi Linda

I don’t know that I can answer that question for you because I can’t answer it to my own satisfaction. The neighbors living close all know I dress and have all seen me dressed. The woman who lives across the street and one house up came to the house (oh, a year or so ago) with two other women (one of whom I hadn’t seen before) and asked if I wanted to go along and walk our dogs. When I returned home my Wife said she would prefer that I not do that again. I dress – fully dress; bra and panties, forms, full makeup, wig, jewelry, fragrance – about one day a week around the house. Sometimes I go to see my Therapist en femme and she doesn’t say anything about that even though she knows I have to enter a busy medical center and I’ll be seen by a good many people, plus I have to check in and who ever checks me in will know who I am, and then there are the people in the waiting area. But if I want to go to the store for something or go shopping en femme with our Daughter that is a no, no. What the big deal is with the lawn man I can’t say, but apparently she feels embarrassment when people see me dressed.

I know she would prefer that I don’t dress, but she understands it is important to me. She knows that our Doctor knows about my dressing and it was our Doctor who referred me to the Psychiatry Department for therapy. My Therapist (Kelly) wants me to dress more often and even suggested that my Doctor refer me to an Endocrinologist to start HRT (low dose) as a treatment for depression and anxiety. I generally feel bad and a bit guilty about dressing because I know my Wife isn’t fully on-board.

[CherylFlint]

If you "pass", then they've see someone else.

[CherylFlint]

Dear Barbra,
Look, I don't know what your wife's hang-ups are, but she's adding stress when there's no stress to start with.
Being a CD isn't some kind of sickness that can be "cured".
And when you do dress, do the best job you can.
You don't need theropy, your wife needs to get with it and realize that your male half plus your female half equals ALL of you.