As We Get Older Does Our Need To Be Feminine Grow?

[Christine.Lolita]

I am certain this topic must have been dealt with before on this forum, but I will bring it up again.
Is there a correlation between getting older and the desire to be enfemme? I think I already know the answer to that from my own experience. For me the answer is without a doubt yes. What I want to know is why I want to be dressed more often as I get older? I remember back 10 or more years ago when I started exploring my feelings and I had the idea that it would pass in a few years that I was just going through a phase.
Well anyone who is my age and is a trans gendered person know that it is not a phase, it is a life time trait. The past 2 years my desire to look female, or even be female (I am still not clear on where I am in this regard) has been growing. As of now I have been very private with my dressing, only my wife has ever seen me dressed. Along with my urge to be dressed I have a growing urge to appear enfemme in public. Not that I want create a spectacle, in fact I feel very strongly that I would like to be Christine and go unnoticed. I do realize that this will require a new look, one that I have not yet decided on.
I would like to hear from you girls about how you felt and dealt with being TG/CD/TS as you had more life experience and matured. Did you find yourself wanting to or actually dressing more?

[NathalieX66]

It's typical for the transgender community to let loose after 40.

[jessicapaige]

Testosterone does diminish over the years.... along with caring about what stiffs think!

[Karen_the_Cutie]

Christine, I've been going through this myself. started just wearing clothes, eventually started trying to look as female as possible, and now I am kind of struggling with getting ready to come out, and hope go through with the transition fully at some point. I don't think it goes away, it's just who we are, and although we can repress it as much as we want, sooner or later somethings gotta give and a persons just gotta be themselves, and do what will make them happy. from what i see of your picture, you could probably have an easy time going un-noticed if you just dress down a little. nothing too flashy, or too sexy if you don't want to draw attention to yourself. If you haven't gone out yet, I suggest a department store early in the morning, and just do some clothes shopping. That was what I did my first time out, and it was wonderful. I had such a good experience I stopped into a grocery store for some bread i needed too, and my cashier was a young girl, that I got the impression thought I was adorable ^-^ When you go out I hope your experience is similar! People are more accepting than you'd expect for the most part :]

[Christine.Lolita]

Testosterone does diminish over the years.... along with caring about what stiffs think!

These two things when combined would certainly explain alot of it.

[ronny0]

Another thought.
Many people as they age (think they) learn about life.

As in: You only live once, life is short, be true to who you are etc etc etc.....
ALSO: Many people give up on the rat race and strive more to do what makes them happy, not overly concerned about how the rest of the world will respond.

[Christine.Lolita]

from what i see of your picture, you could probably have an easy time going un-noticed if you just dress down a little. nothing too flashy, or too sexy if you don't want to draw attention to yourself. :]

I just wanted to explain that I am not naïve enough to go out dressed in a Lolita oufit and think I would be unnoticed or accepted. I like wearing Lolita outfits in the safety of my house and they totally make my feel like a girl. This is one of the main attractions for me.
What I really wonder is that will the urge for me to be dressed out of my house (in an outfit that is appropriate) grow to the point where I will be compelled to do it. Right now I am curious about how it would be, but I am able to resist the urge to do it.


Another thought.
Many people as they age (think they) learn about life.

As in: You only live once, life is short, be true to who you are etc etc etc.....
ALSO: Many people give up on the rat race and strive more to do what makes them happy, not overly concerned about how the rest of the world will respond.

This a another very good point and I agree.

[MysticLady]

I would like to hear from you girls about how you felt and dealt with being TG/CD/TS as you had more life experience and matured. Did you find yourself wanting to or actually dressing more?

Hello Christine

I feel....As we mature, the way we view life changes. Things in the past that we thought were important are not so much so now. Before I was terrified of even telling my wife because of my fear of her rejection. Now, that I've told her, that does not seem to an issue anymore. I think and still feel that I want to do what I want and respect me and my wishes. I have more confidence in myself and in my thoughts. I enjoy dressing and that the bottom line. I don't feel like it's got such a stronghold on me that I'm obvious to my surroundings. I had no problem telling the woman I love even if I already knew that she was going to reject it 150%. Now, that I've experienced rejection from a woman that I made a promise too, things are much different to my eyes today. And that may change even more so, tomorrow.

[docrobbysherry]

There's 3 good reasons we dress more as we age listed above. However, I can only think of ONE good reason to go OUT dressed, Christine! That is, to meet and hang with other dressers! More fun and accepting "girls" you'll never meet.

Otherwise? I'm with u. Wearin' lolitas and other hot, silly, or fantastic outfits in private!


I just wanted to explain that I am not naïve enough to go out dressed in a Lolita oufit and think I would be unnoticed or accepted. I like wearing Lolita outfits in the safety of my house and they totally make my feel like a girl. This is one of the main attractions for me.
What I really wonder is that will the urge for me to be dressed out of my house (in an outfit that is appropriate) grow to the point where I will be compelled to do it. Right now I am curious about how it would be, but I am able to resist the urge to do it.

[Stephanie47]

As we get older does our need to be feminine grow? The critical word appears to be: NEED. I can only reflect upon myself. I do not NEED to be more feminine. When I dress I would like to be able to appear as feminine as possible. I really do not want to see a man in a dress. I've progressed to the point I do not reflect at all about my sexuality when dressed en femme, or, at least no more or less than when dressed as my male self.

I do feel more comfortable because the negative feelings of my youth and early adult years are long gone. No more self loathing. No more inner conflict. I feel perfectly at peace with myself in either male or female mode.

Do I want and actually dress more? You bet. As a retiree with a working wife and a secluded backyard, I get a fair amount of en femme time. No more crumbs of time falling off the table. No more looking out the window. I'm content where I am. If you have the urge to go unnoticed in the crowd, unless you have that bulking manly figure, give it a whirl in the evening. Everyone has a different comfort zone. Everyone has a different point at which he or she feels validated.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Age for me has no bearing, it has just not in the way you are seeing it, clothes dont really interest me, never did before, or now infact im going to my friends place tonight at 6 pm. i have been doing her kitchen up a redo, i just had my skirt on a jumper & winter hat, & boots, when i came home i thought whatll i wear i was quite happy with what i had on therell be about 5 or more comeing in fact 3 came down from Christchurch, & stoped me while walking home.

so iv picked out what ill wear just simple a skirt camel colour long, with my top you see in my avata & my scarve in my turbin style wrap around head wear, ill wear my 3 / 4 black coat, & black low heeled shoes, lippy & eyebrow liner, that pretty much covers it,

Okay im outer here, ill be back in later when i get home. till then see ya,

Hi again iv just got home just a short walk . we had a lovely evening just 5 of us & some light banter, plus a lovely talk after for three of us about people in geneal so was rather nice,

...noeleena...

[Cynthia Anne]

I may not know for sure but, for me I say that it's because I just don't give a rats --- what others think anymore!!

[Lucy_Bella]

It really depends on many factors..

There is a tendency in some transvestites for the sexuality to drop away, although cross-dressing continues as an antidote to anxiety...But dressing does tend to drop..

Another Factor could be "Gender Identity Disorder" and in this case your dressing will progress..Or continue to grow..

[Beverley Sims]

I think those that are older do look for their previous youthful looks.
I sure do miss mine.

[Kate Simmons]

To answer your question with regard to myself and my feelings, as I get older I feel the need to be myself and that includes a lot of dynamics. It's not so much a cut and dried he/she thing as it is an all encompassing person thing. I am in touch with all of my feelings and qualities and when that happens the finished product is much greater than the sum of it's parts. There is no way that being a woman goes unnoticed, however, in any sense.:)

[Melisamy]

I believe the answer to the question has as many answers as there are individuals. We certainly tend to fall into different groups, but the reasons and realities are likely as unique as we are.

Melisa Amy Ellis

[Shari]

I've found that the rougher edges of being a man have been smoothing out in recent years. I also find that I have an overall increased sensitivity to many things I gave little thought to before.
Ditto on the level of other's acceptance or judgments. It doesn't seem as important anymore.
The clothing helps to complete the picture of the newer and happier me. I find a great deal of peace and contentment when the fineries hug me and make their presence known.
I believe this part of me has always been there but suppressed. It's liberating to let go of some of the macho tendencies and allow myself to be what I've become and still evolving.
With older age comes wisdom? I'd like to think so.

[Lynn Marie]

My age, retirement, financial independence and lack of attachments allows me complete freedom to do as I like whenever I like. So I actually dress less, but oh so much better. I'm able to get out at least twice a week for some real quality time with CD girlfriends. I rarely dress at home any more, instead, concentrating on my outings. There's just nothing like making an entrance to your local club knowing every eye in the place is on you!

[Nikki A.]

I think that many of us have a need to express our feminine side at all ages. However as we age the barriers that have stopped us from being who we are either become less important or we figure out that they were only barriers in our mind.
When I hit my mid-fifties I realized that i needed to be able to be who I am.

[abbyleigh001]

Ditto Mysticlady... As we grow older we begin to realize and shed many of our perceived really non-important issues of whom we really are... As our life changes with the passage of time so do our our ill gotten fears... We've grown up...

[Ressie]

Hi Christine. You've seen the factors above ^ of aging that contribute to this desire, but we are all different. You feel a need to do what you desire, dressing in public. At 15 years older than you I don't have that desire let alone a need. I'll admit I dress more often at home than I did a few years ago, but another reason for that is I live alone now.

So for me - testosterone levels, caring less what people think, freedom of living alone - I'm fulfilling my desire of dressing more, but I don't consider it a need. And at age 45 I didn't dress at all because I was married to someone that didn't approve. So I actually dressed more when I was in my late 30s to early 40s. And the desire was just as strong then as it is now! I think I've always had the desire, but lacked the freedom and courage to dress. The internet has had an affect on a lot of us too despite one's age group.

If you feel a need to be feminine in public, I'm sure many CDs are with you, but not all.

[Eryn]

Looking at the demographics of this forum and the stories of girls who are becoming active dressers in their 40s and beyond, your hypothesis seems to have some substance. I think that self-confidence, affluence, and a sense that time is no longer infinite also has a bearing on the issue. I greatly regret waiting until I was in my 50s to acknowledge my own TG status, even to myself.