Life As You Know It

[Paula DAngelo]

The one thing I've come to realize about life, is that we never know what's going to happen next, and that the only way to get through it is to try and look for the positive side of things.

About 6 months ago the girl that I'm living with and I discussed my dressing and while she was shocked about it she was willing to keep an open mind. Since that time we've continued to talk and she's even gone so far as to go out and help me try and improve my look. About the only restriction she had for me was she didn't want to see me made up as she wasn't ready for that, and I've made sure to honor that request.

I guess somewhere along the way she changed her mind as the other day we were talking and she said that she couldn't take it any longer and she thought that it was wrong, and that the people that she knew that knew about me where all freaked out about it (she's the one that told them about me and it never was an issue to me that she told them). She said she was sorry that she wasn't able to accept me for the way I was and that it was time to end the relationship, but she still wanted to be friends.

I'm not looking for sympathy or a shoulder to cry on, since I knew from the start that this could happen. In fact I posted a few days ago that it was starting to feel like this was progressing to be more than just dressing and I didn't know where I was headed and that only time would tell.

Any way to make a long story short, I'm now looking for a new place to live, and I'm going to look at this as a positive thing, regardless of how much it hurts at the present time, since it will give me the time and freedom to determine where my life is going.

I guess that where I'm going with this is no matter what life throws at you, you need to try an look for the positive side as it will make things at least a little better.

That's enough rambling for now, time to get on with life.

[Chari]

We all hit those "speed bumps" on the road of life, but if you don't loose complete control (of your life) you can IMO learn from those moments/mistakes. Take everyday, squeeze the h*** out of it, and kick start life again! You have to enjoy life as there are no "do overs". Thanx for sharing your positive attitude.

[Diana Bain]

Paula, I admire your honesty. Sometimes things don't workout... better to find out now. Hopefully you'll meet someone soon who will enjoy all who you are.

[Tracii G]

Well she couldn't accept it so time to move on as simple as that.
You were honest about who you were from the beginning.She has the problem not you remember that.

[Beverley Sims]

Paula,
It seems it was an amicable split, there are others out there that would welcome you with open arms....
The job is to find them, happy searching.

[Lynn Marie]

This is another common theme repeated over and over on this forum. The SO accepts our CDing but doesn't want to see us dressed or made up, etc. All this is just another form of DADT, or don't ask don't tell. DADT simply doesn't work. Unless your SO embraces your CDing and can not only accept you as both boy and girl, and actually see the advantages that can offer, the relationship is doomed. Oh sure it may continue for years, or even a lifetime, but the DADT has built a wall of separation that rarely, if ever, comes down. It becomes a marriage of convenience rather than a marriage of intimacy. CDing surely isn't the only cause of miserable marriages, just one of many.

[marlenesexton]

Since you want to put a positive spin on this, don't be her friend. The difference between a true friend and a wife/husband/partner is the sex (OK, probably intimacy too). Both should accept you for who you are and she doesn't.

Next, this is your chance. Meet a woman who knows and accepts you from the get go. Maybe even meet her as Paula. If this is important to you, don't go looking for a woman you hope might someday come to accept you. Meet one that already knows and does accept you. I'm not saying go find some "trannie chaser", so to speak. Just be open and honest from day one with every woman you meet. If they run or balk, they aren't the one. You're looking for the one that says, "Cool! How interesting. I'd love to see and take you shopping." Don't accept anything less. They are out there and now that you're free and a confident crossdresser, go find her.

By the way, sorry to hear about the break up. Positive attitude or not, it's tough. Good luck!

[suzy1]

Your wanting to be positive is the key to life in a way Paula.
I admire you for being positive girl. You will go far in life.

All the best and a hug from Suzy :)

[Paula DAngelo]

Thanks to everyone for the support. I know I'll get through this, believe me I've been through a lot worse. Like I said in the original post I'm starting to wonder where this is all heading so I need to figure that out before I even worry about finding someone else, and this should give me the chance to do that. I've also come to realize that the only one that really needs to accept me, is me. Anyone else is as they say "Just icing on the cake.

Thanks again

[Kandy Barr]

Now you will really be able to let Paula out of the closet so to speak, I truly hope you enjoy the experience. Its my thinking you'll be a better more complete person in the long run. Enjoy the journey.

[docrobbysherry]

First, Paula, I wish u all the best in your adventure called, "Life". Whether we like it or not, change is inevitable!

I've read so many posts about finding someone who, "--will accept the complete u for who u r". Which is nice. But, we have as much chance of that happening as winning the Super Lottery!

And, since most of us r opinionated and selective to some degree or other ourselves, realistically, we shouldn't even be looking for a GG like that.

More likely, one that will put up with us and our, "habits", good and bad. And, one whose habits WE can put up with. Wanting more than that may be simply dreaming!