Realization

[andrea lace]

Evening all
For many years I have struggled with my identity, who am I? why do I like to dress in woman's clothes?

Today after a lot of soul searching I have realized that this is just who I am and no matter how hard I try it is not going to go away. :thinking:

I am a middle aged man and for many years I thought that I was somehow defective and there was something seriously wrong with me. I mean why do I like to dress as a woman? For along time I thought it was because I was gay, but no matter how hard I try I cannot find myself attracted to guys.

This I have found confusing, at the least I always expected to have a switch in my head to flip and that would be it, I would suddenly start fancying men and hey presto life is sorted and that's that.

Transgender people as far as I am concerned have it much harder than gay or straight. As for me I am somewhere in the middle, undesirable by the gay community and misunderstood by the straight.

Forgive the rant but I have not had the opportunity to dress for some time and I am feeling isolated.
I thought that I could project my frustrations on to those that would listen and maybe understand.
Thanks girls
Andrea x :strugglin

[Lorileah]

I have realized that this is just who I am and no matter how hard I try it is not going to go away. :thinking: welcome to our club :) You have just taken the first step.


I cannot find myself attracted to guys.

This I have found confusing, at the least I always expected to have a switch in my head to flip and that would be it, I would suddenly start fancying men and hey presto life is sorted and that's that. common misconception. You like who you like nothing more nothing less. Many believe that if you dress you MUST want a sexual relation with a man...not true.


Transgender people as far as I am concerned have it much harder than gay or straight. As for me I am somewhere in the middle, undesirable by the gay community and misunderstood by the straight. :idontknow: funny how that works.isn't it? But we just keep plugging away. Have faith

[suzy1]

You can’t be too isolated when you have us lot here to listen to you.
I personally think this one of the reasons for a forum like this Andrea.


I am always ranting on about enjoying this side of our lives but that’s not always realistic for some.
So I hope you can stop struggling with this side to your life and just enjoy Andrea.

All the best,

Suzy :)

[NathalieX66]

Andrea, thanks for sharing your experience.

Being transgender is not *one size fits all*

I like my female side of me, I like my male side of me.....where do I go? Answer: I'm just simply me.

I have a number of friends who prefer to have a female identity. I'm not quite there. To me, life is a palate of several colors of paint, and I paint in which color I feel like. Girl/guy? Red/Blue? ....OK, I like purple, so what.

[Kate Simmons]

We are pretty much who we are Hon, whether we realize it at the time or not. Sometimes I do things based on gut feeling and trust my instincts. Later, after the dust settles, I realize I do indeed do everything for a reason. We accomplish more than we may think we do sometimes.:battingeyelashes::)

[abbyleigh001]

Welcome to our club... Through the fog of confusion eventually the light becomes brighter and we finally realize and accept our true selves... An awful lot of tears are shed until we find and accept ourselves...

[Princess Grandpa]

Hi Andrea. *hug*

Our stories our very similar. Probably the same as a lot of the girls here. As I read these threads I am constantly nodding my head going "uh huh. Uh huh".

You are not alone! I hope you find time to dress soon!

[renee elizabeth]

This sounds quite familiar. For years ive tried to suppress my urge to dress
and finally one day i decided this is who i am. Now im letting joanne enjoy herself. just wish i could dress up a lot more than im currently able to.

[Tracii G]

The old misconception if a guy likes to dress as a female he must be gay and looking for a man for sex.
Not true in the least, 90% of cross dressing men are heterosexual.
I don't know too many gay men that are into cross dressing guys.They want a man not a woman.Of course there are exceptions to the rule.
I have a gay friend that would look totally hot as a girl and have tried to get him to let me dress him up as a girl and the thought disgusts him.
I have a straight friend that thinks if he were to wear girls socks he will turn gay.He is a major Bubba so not surprising.

[Kandy Barr]

Hi Andrea, the great thing about this forum is that it gives us a place to vent our frustrations to a community that is totally understanding. I may not have the same issues but I think I can identify with your feelings. The social stigma associated with cding, ts, tg, by a clueless and unfeeling public caused a lot of my confusion in my early years, and I didn't have the internet and a forum such as this. I thought I was alone in my need (yes need! ) to dress in women's clothing. I never really struggled with the gay issue, but I have wondered what if? Its just not an issue with me. There are ggs out there who are very understanding and supportive, so if you desire a gg for a gf, don't give up and feel less about yourself. You know, we are some pretty special people with a lot to give in a relationship, and the less wasted time we spend putting ourselves down, the more we can enjoy the wonderful expression of our softer more sensitive selves. Hope this has helped you some.

[Emogene]

Welcome to the forum Andrea. Hang out here and "they" are the minority, neat huh? No more isolation! Personally, I like me just the way I am and so should you. We are all unique and worthy of being accepted. So love yourself, you are special and there is no one else just like you!

If others don't like us, their loss!

[CherylFlint]

You’re not alone.
Me? When I’m dressed I like men.
When I’m in drab I like girls.
Usually there’s a Gay bar that CD’s go, maybe they have a Drag Show.
But if there’s no good, or safe, Gay bars, find a lesbian bar if you want one heck of a night out to remember. Just don’t be making any play, let them call the shots.
Some women like men who dress, and there’s a lot more out there than you would think.

[Beverley Sims]

Andrea,
We are all listening and some of us are giving you consideration.
Don't overthink the position, do something about it.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I have had the exact same identity issues over my lifetime, Andrea, the good news, You will discover that you are a good person regardless of it all and become ok with yourself. I hope you reach that point sooner then later because after that day arrives, you will feel as though it has become your new "Birthday!"

[Lynn Marie]

We're not all that "undesirable" in the gay community. Doesn't the "T" in LGBT refer to us? Gays for the most part are good people. Just like us. A bunch of us have been sharing an LGBT club for years. We sort of own the place on Friday nights. We've made lots of friends. Heck, we class the place up!