First clothing purchase...for me...excited but bittersweet

[StacyPump]

Last night I did something I've never done before: I bought women's clothing...for myself. I bought 2 skirts from Amazon (see pic below), and a corset (thanks for the advice, Ana)! I am really excited about this, but I have mixed emotions.

I am in a DADT with my wife, but I have been hoping recently to share more with her, and I was hoping she would participate in these purchases with me. Well, I guess I set myself up for disappointment. I guess I built it up in my own mind, and when it was not to be, I was a bit crushed. I told her yesterday morning, that I would like to talk with her. She has been overwhelmed recently, between work and our toddler, she has not been able to enter the discussions with me. She just came out and said that she can't do it right now. I did end up telling her that I would like to buy some clothes for myself, for dressing up. She gave me her blessing, but did not have any interest in sharing the process with me. It was pretty much a "do what you need to do" kind of thing.

So, I am excited and looking forward to trying on my new skirts, but I also feel a little sad and lonely.

:sad:

--Stacy

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31IROHDx0YL._SY445_.jpg

[Karen_the_Cutie]

if you think she is already overwhelmed with work and your child, it's probably best to let it go until she is feeling better. maybe try and do extra stuff for her around the house if possible, like pick up some of her chores as a thanks for even letting you buy your own clothes, and maybe in turn she will open up to conversation eventually :]

p.s. that skirt is adorable!

also! is that you in your avatar/profile pic?? if so you are reallllllly cute :0 i'm jealous! ^-^

[Beverley Sims]

It is bittersweet sometimes, you do have to take it slowly and read all the signs put out by your wife.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Stacy. It's like that for me as well, so I feel for you. We had a great night a few months back where I showed her a bunch of my items, and modeled them for her. She participated to a degree, agreeing to model for some pics with me wearing the same heels and similar outfits, but I hoped for much more (like she would be OK with making it a more routine thing). I suppose I had hoped she would help me complete my look, but I could sense she was beginning to worry, so I cut back. Now it's summer and because I want to take my kids to the pool, ride bikes, etc., I've let the leg hair grow and have stopped dressing. This Fall I'll start again...and I'm hoping after this period of "normalcy", she'll see that I intend to remain her husband and will be OK with me dressing more frequently and trying things like makeup, a wig, etc. Something to look forward to, I suppose.

Beautiful skirt, by the way. I have the same one in brown that looks awesome with nude heels.

[MissTee]

If she's a bit overwhelmed, perhaps you could treat her to a mani/pedi/massage. Make it a couples massage with a joint mani/pedi. She might soften to the idea if you do things she would enjoy.

[ossian]

That is a totally awesome skirt! Maybe it will get better with your wife? Couples therapy?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm hoping to win the Super Lotto, Stacy!

And, that my daughter and Sherry will become girlfriends and go shopping together!

Not really. I know neither is going to happen.

What I REALLY hope for, is for u to stop hoping! And, come up with a plan both u and your SO can live with!

[StacyPump]

Thank you all, for your advice. You are wise ones, and I'm grateful to be able to share with you and hear your feedback.

Karen, thanks for the compliments. Yes, that is me. You're very sweet.

--Stacy

[LynnR]

Hi Stacy, that skirt is SO sexy. I want one now! I was just wondering if you tell me what corset advice you were given. I'm thinking of getting one, but not sure what to go for. Thanks!

[CarlaWestin]

Wow, Stacey! That's you in the picture? Whoa! I'm in a DADT myself and one thing I know is true. She simply will never think it's OK or normal. I'm way past hoping that will change. I know my desire to do is just as strong as her desire that I don't. But, I'm not going to spend my life staring at the wall, hoping things were different.

[BillieAnneJean]

If your wife is working and caring for an infant, she may be carrying all the load she can right now. You may find that you can improve her life and yours by being more enthusiastic about the baby and helping her than you are about crossdressing. She may be unconsciously keeping a menal accounting of the time spent by you on either and she might decide which you care about based on that.
So your new hobby comes at a time when she may not have any reserve to deal with it.

If It was me, I would put CDing off until you both get through the early baby times.

Been there.

Would you please post the item number for the skirt?
IMHO

[StacyPump]

Billie, thanks for your input and advice. I think you are onto something. To be clear, I am very enthusiastic about my kids. I love spending time with them more than anything in the world. I am very involved with them, and I help with them every day. Having said all that, I think you are correct when you say that my wife may be carrying all the load she can handle right now, and I would be wise to respect that. Having said THAT, I am still very nervous that she will never accept this on any level, as Carla has expressed. And so, I'm not sure how to handle that.

Thanks again, everyone, for sharing your thoughts. And thanks, Carla, for the lovely compliment.


If anyone is interested, here is a link to view the skirt:
http://amzn.com/B00ARKRAUQ

[CherylFlint]

Take her to thrift and consignment stores.
She’ll love you for it.
Believe me, it's the ONLY way to shop.

[NicoleScott]

[QUOTE=StacyPump;3217969] I did end up telling her that I would like to buy some clothes for myself, for dressing up. She gave me her blessing, but did not have any interest in sharing the process with me. It was pretty much a "do what you need to do" kind of thing. QUOTE]

OK. She knows, she acknowledges your need to do it, but she doesn't want to particiate. If you can live with that, I would suggest that you keep things right there until either of you need to change the agreement.

[StacyPump]

My skirts arrived today. I tried them on really quickly, and they fit great! I was so worried about that, this being my first clothing purchase, and having ordered on line, and having taken my best guess! But they fit perfectly, and I am really excited about them!

Unfortunately, I am not going to have time to properly dress for a few weeks...maybe longer.

I might go crazy while waiting...!