I Got Caught :(

[meghana]

Accidentally, my sister saw one of my video. Normally, i lock down my stuff in my laptop but i donno how this thing has missed me. She asked me who it was? She asked me in-front of my mom who knows that i shave my hands and even saw some lipstick stains on my bed once. I didn't know what to say but feign my ignorance. A friend's call comes to my rescue at that very moment..and i left that discussion. She didn't brought it up again yet. I'm walkin' on thin ice right now.


I worry a little that this thing would give some clues to my mom about what's goin' on. I know it's inevitable considering the fact that you can't hide in there forever. But, This would shock my family for sure since i grew up in a traditional christian family. I'm scared that they won't understand me if i had to come out to them.

[~Joanne~]

I never understood why we let others use our PC's or laptops knowing we have things on there that other people may find that we would rather they didn't. The one thing your right about though is the fact that sooner or later, someone is bound to find out especially because of your living arrangements. Living with your family surely can't be easy as I know it was hard for me while my SO was in the dark about all of this but once I finally came clean, things have been great.

I know this won't and doesn't work for everyone, and it sounds like your safe for now (because your sister didn't even recognize you which means your passing a bit) but you might want to give it some long thought and maybe tell them about your dressing. Sooner or later they will find "something" that doesn't belong to neither of them or pictures and such and then you on the hot seat instead of controlling the situation.

I got thrown on the hot seat myself and believe me, I'd had rather have had control of the situation rather than being forced to tell someone while being riddled with fear. Just food for thought ;) Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Karen_the_Cutie]

Hey, if nothing else the fact she didn't recognize you should make you feel awesome :P I was seen by my neighbor outside once, and he later asked my Dad if I had a girlfriend! nothing ever came of that, so nothing may come of your situation either. Good luck <3

[Angie G]

I was hiding my dressing from my wife for years. She found a few thing I didn't hide good I told her it must be something your sister sent in that bag of thing (didn't work), She was thinking I may have had a woman in my life other then her. Now she knows they belonged to me and life in so much easier. We even go shopping for my girl side. Think about it girl. It's up to you I don't know if being out would work for you. Good luck hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Lexi_83]

I was caught by my parents a couple of times growing up. The first time they didn't take it seriously. The second time they did and it had some real repercussions on our relationship. They didn't understand then and only vaguely understand now. So I hope it works out for you.

[Lorileah]

I believe you get caught because you want to get caught

[Princess Grandpa]

I could never advise someone to come out to loved ones as I have no clue how that would end. Can you imagine advising someone to tell parents or SO and after they do their whole world falls apart. This is the risk each girl who comes out faces I fear. Unarguably we are much better off not having to hide. Even if we are alone and sad this is probably more emotionally healthy than the sneaking, hiding, lying and guilt. Honestly if my wife hadn't been there when I has that aha moment realizing what I was hiding from all this time I probably never would have muster the courage to come out to her.


I believe you get caught because you want to get caught

My wife said those identical words to me the other day

[jojo]

I feel for you. Getting caught out can be highly unpleasant.

My experience was almost exactly the same as Angie G's. I accidentally left some knickers laying about and my other half thought I was having an affair. I left it a while before I told her they were mine. I said at first one of her friends must of left them behind but this only made it worse when I finally did tell her. She was more upset about the lie than the crossdressing.

I understand that its different with family. I would be mortified if mine found out.

That said I would imagine your mum has probably guessed anyway. If she knows about the hand shaving and the lipstick and hasn't questioned it then she probably either would rather pretend it's not happening or is ok with it. Either way confrontation will be avoided.

My advice would be don't worry too much unless it gets brought up and be super careful in the future.

All the best.

[whowhatwhen]

I believe you get caught because you want to get caught

Not true.
I once left my computer unlocked and my brother set my browser to a rather old, but famous shock site.
:)

"Hello, old friend" I said before clearing my browser history and remembering never to leave my computer unlocked.

[RT_IsMe]

I am sorry that you got caught. But here is a site that will be your best friend... http://www.truecrypt.org/

All of the photos and images of me dressed up are encrypted by this application and I highly suggest it for anyone that wants to have private files on a computer.

RT

[Julie Gaum]

Megahana, two questions: How many years before you expect to be working and on your own? Or perhaps in your area of the world it's like many of the Italian sons who usually live with their mothers until married. An option is to follow the lead of many posts on this Forum of single boys who decide to "put a toe in the water" and privately come out to their mothers. Mothers seem to more readily
accept it --- after asking you many questions. Mom usually has a better idea how the rest of the family would react and you would then take her suggestions.
Julie

[Beverley Sims]

Meghana,
It can be a problem, but you have time to think of a reply, if necessary.

[MissTee]

Call me the Princess of Paranoia here, but i used to do network security. Engineering for classified networks, DMZs, Firewalls config and admin, etc. Learned to N-E-V-E-R take pictures or video. Certainly to never share or store them outside of a locked safe.

[renee elizabeth]

on my computer , i have different accounts set up, my account that has my girl stuff in it is not accesible to anyone else who may use my computer, always delete my history too

[giuseppina]

Hello Meghana,

Chances are good your mother knows something is going on.

It would be a good idea to put a secure (UPPER and lower case with numbers and symbols if your OS will allow them) password on your computer. You are no longer a child according to the rules of this site, so you are entitled to privacy.

[vanitysumers]

THERE IS SO MANY HOMELESS YOUTH IN HOLLYWOOD CALIFORNIA BECAUSE THERE FAMILY FOUND OUT THEY WERE CROSSDRESSING.

they have a few special homeless shelters just for them


http://laglc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=YW_YS_Homeless_Services

[Darling Micki]

I started dressing as a teenager, mostly "borrowing" stuff from my Mother.

She found my collection and asked me about it.
I told her the truth that the the clothes and their fabrics excited me.

Shortly after she took me to see a psychiatrist. My third since the age of 6.
Nice gentleman, but I only went for a few sessions.
I had learned by this point how to upset a shrink while in session; you finish their sentences for them.
The guy was nice enough to actually tell my mother to save her money.
There was nothing he was going to be able to do to "cure" me, since he wasn't going to get me to talk about it.

I've kept dressing since then, I seriously enjoy it.
But I do not include Mom in that part of my life anymore.
At best she gets to see photos after one of my outings.

Sitting down at dinner with them many years later, while in my mid 30's.
There was an article on the news about males who felt they should have been born female.
Mother looked at me and asked if that's how I felt, if I should have been born female.
I told her, "No I don't feel I should have been born female, I just look good sometimes dressed as one." then left it at that.

She has also stated later that she wants to ignore the idea of me dressing up.

I just turned 40, in April of this year.
I have been living the past few years with my fiance, a wonderful woman who accepts me, in all my guises.
I have gone to local parties and events where some of my local friends have seen me.
My friends have asked me questions as to the why's, how's, and wherefores; all of which I have answered to the best of my ability.

My dressing is a part of me, and my life... and my parents want nothing to do with that part of me.

It hurts that they don't want to understand me, or why I do this.

For that reason, and a few others, they have been placed on a shelf in my life.
They are my parents, and I love them.
I just am not as comfortable around them as I was, and so I minimize my contact with them.

Whatever you decide for yourself, make the decision then stick to it.
Take it slow, don't rush them for acceptance.
They need to realized that regardless of how you are dressed, male or female, you are still you, and always have been.

[Leona]

I got caught when I was living with my sister, mostly because I nicked one of her bras. I made some comment that it must have walked in my room with other laundry and they (her and her husband) weren't having any of it. Instead I got all these lectures about how some women have penises and some men have vaginas, and there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with being a part-time girl, etc.

I was still too scared to admit it to myself, much less them, even with them offering their support just in case that were to be true.

[linda allen]

Call me the Princess of Paranoia here, but i used to do network security. Engineering for classified networks, DMZs, Firewalls config and admin, etc. Learned to N-E-V-E-R take pictures or video. Certainly to never share or store them outside of a locked safe.

Never take pictures or video? That takes half the fun out of crossdressing. :sad:

Also, pictures and video are how we perfect our look, walk, voice, etc.

Having said that, of course we need to secure any trails of our crossdressing if we really want to avoid being caught. I store my pictues on a password protected USB thumb drive that I keep in a drawer, not in the computer. Since my wife is not "computer litterate", there's little chance of her finding it and putting it in the computer, much less figuring out the password.

To the person who wondered why anyone would ever let someone else use his computer, many of us live in situations where computers and such are shared. A husband and wife is a good example. It can also be difficult at times when a friend or relative suddenly says, "Can I use your computer for a minute?" to refuse. I wouldn't let them use a password protected account, but it's hard to say they can't use the computer.

[Lexi_83]

I believe you get caught because you want to get caughtIn my early 20's - sure. As an insecure 15yo - not so much!

[Farrah]

I almost got caught as a kid. I wish I would've my mom then. I think life would've been much easier, and who knows where I would be now. I say for the gusto and tell your mom in confidence.

[Princess Grandpa]

I would love to hear an update how things are now that some time has passed
Hug
Rita

[MissTee]

Never take pictures or video? That takes half the fun out of crossdressing. :sad:

Sorry Linda, but that's how I sashay :)

[Jana]

I believe you get caught because you want to get caught

So do I. Enough said.

[gailprice]

I think they already know they just want you to say. Its not my family so i dont know how they would react if you told them what they already possibly know, but from my 45 year experience of being a cd to tg these things may have some surprisingly pleasant endings.
Perhaps try and speak to your sister alone.
Family love bites deep, so deep breath and see. It's your call.
Gail xx

[Paula_56]

Only people who do wrong things get caught you did nothing wrong shed your guilt and shame

[Angela Campbell]

I kind of wish I had been caught years ago. I hid it so well that now no one will believe that I am really a woman and have always been one. I have to come out to all soon and this is going to be so difficult because I was so good at hiding it.

[meghana]

Hey all, thank you all for replying. Sorry for the late update. Things are okay for now. She didn't brought up the matter again, much to my comfort. At the moment, i don't wanna complicate things by coming out to family. I know leading a double life would be unhealthy.