I told my daughter

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I've been wanting to tell my older daughter for a while now and this weekend finally provided me the opportunity.

I've been working out of town and finding time alone with my daughter has been hard. She's 20 and working out of town for the summer. She's away at college for the school year so getting time is difficult. In addition, I only wanted to tell her and not her sister. I don't think her sister would take it well.

the opportunity presented itself yesterday. My wife & I had discussed this. As we sat at the kitchen table, I told her. It went something like this.

Serious tone

Me "We need to talk about something"



Me "...Sweety, do you remember a few weeks ago I was telling you there were things you need to know in case mom & dad die unexpectedly like the combination to the safe?"

She gives a worried look
Her "Yea"

"There's one more thing I need to tell you"

wife: "No we are not getting divorced. I love your dad and I will never leave him"

Me "and I love your mom & I will never leave her..You may already have figured this out or at least suspect. I'm a crossdresser".

Pause

Her "I kind of knew. there's no male underwear in the whole house."

We talked for about 10 minutes about it. We told her that I do go out dressed and that her mother has gone out with me. My wife also stated her views (she's not fond of it but accepts it as part of me and there are always things you may not like about your spouse. She was OK with it. I thought she would be. She is currently in a lesbian relationship so It makes sense that she would be more open to this. She doesn't want to see pictures or anything like that, but now at least she knows and is not surprised.

All in All I think it went well.

[Kelley]

Kim I am glad it went well for you. I have found that when you come out to those close to you, you feel a little less trapped

Kelley

[daviolin]

You go Kim. I did the same 4 years ago, with all three of my grown children. They all were very excepting of Daviolin. Its made the whole world a better place to live for me. Daviolin

[visitor138]

Glad it went well for you Kim.

[Raychel]

That is awesome Kim. Another step towards freedom.
I am glad your daughter took it well, I hope her sister
does too , when the time comes. :hugs:

[PretzelGirl]

These conversations are always interesting and the varying accepting reactions along with them. I am glad it went well and I hope it grows. I assume she knows you don't want her sister to know and is okay with it. I told my daughters not to tell my son as I want to tell him in person and it is a non-issue. But if you say that you don't think that child is ready, does the other agree? I always thought that an early recommendation to many of us should be to buy 7 pairs of underwear just to throw in the hamper. :heehee:

[Tara D. Rose]

This is such a good story Kim. I'm glad it all turned out well for you in telling your oldest daughter and that she took it well. Each person is different, each cd is different and sometimes some of us need or want to tell our children, I applaud your decision to disclose this part of you to your daughter. I will never tell my two children, but I don't knock anyone else that does though. I guess I will never tell my children ever. That is just me, but there's nothing wrong with another cd that wishes to tell the children. I do believe that if I told my daughter and son, I think they would be okay with it, but I see them so rarely that just a one times sitting would not be enough time to fully disclose everything to them. I live in a need to basis of life. My children love me as they know me, I like it that way. But still, I applaud you and your wife for telling your daughter. Let us know though if like after a few weeks that she wants to ask some questions about it in the future. It takes several talking sessions to get it all out in the open. There may be questions from your daughter asking why? When did this start? How long? etc.
So anyway, congratulations on disclosing and on your sweet daughter's acceptance.
Tara D. Rose

[Beverley Sims]

Kim,
that is good and probably enough for now, it is time to let her ask questions if she desires.

[SherriePall]

Kim -- Glad it went well for you. It really helps if your wife is on board. Unfortunately, my wife and I are basically in a DADT situation (basically, as there are some odd turns -- one being that she washes my lingerie) and she doesn't want anyone else to know.

[Jenn A116]

It sounds like it went pretty well Kim. As you note, your daughter being in a lesbian relationship may be a contributor to her having an open mind. I hope you support and accept her just as much.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

That has a nice happy ending Kim! For me it was different. My two early 30's daughters once asked their Mom why we divorced and they got the real answer. I found out a year ago and guess what?----They still love and cherish me and we have an awesome relationship. Both are married, have children, and still love their Dad no matter what. I think today's youth are more open to diversity and acceptance, and that's a great thing!

Cheryl

[Sandra]

Her "I kind of knew. there's no male underwear in the whole house."



This is price less :D

and along similar lines to what our daughter said " I had an idea what was going on" Kids hey they know a lot more than they let on.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

This is price less :D

and along similar lines to what our daughter said " I had an idea what was going on" Kids hey they know a lot more than they let on.

Yep. But what is more interesting is there still is some male underwear in the house but I've only worn it a few times in the last 5 years.

[docrobbysherry]

Kim, I just told my daughter a week ago. She's 18 and lives with me full time. Which is why I told her. I'm curious about your daughter.

It's been a week since I told mine. Other than some CD jokes on my part, she hasn't asked anything and we haven't discussed anything about my dressing. Even when I told her not to come home early on Wed. because I'd be dressing. A first! Did your daughter discuss anything about your dressing with u? Ask any questions, etc?

I thot telling my daughter would sort of open things up. But,
that hasn't happened so far.

[kimdl93]

That's great, Kim. Your daughter responded much as my step daughter did when I came out to her. And I'm impressed by your wife as well.

[Emjay]

That's really awesome Kim! I'm glad it went well for you and your daughter is ok with everything. I'm kind of in the same boat as you were though my daughter is a few years younger than yours so your story is encouraging to hear. (Lesbian relationships, open mindedness and all) :)

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Kim, I just told my daughter a week ago. She's 18 and lives with me full time. Which is why I told her. I'm curious about your daughter.

It's been a week since I told mine. Other than some CD jokes on my part, she hasn't asked anything and we haven't discussed anything about my dressing. Even when I told her not to come home early on Wed. because I'd be dressing. A first! Did your daughter discuss anything about your dressing with u? Ask any questions, etc?

I thot telling my daughter would sort of open things up. But,
that hasn't happened so far.

Sherry,

We didn't discuss much. She did not want to see pictures or anything. I think she just doesn't want to ruin her image of me as a dad & discussing it or seeing pictures would change that. We haven't discussed it since then. We still talk about the same amount so that hasn't changed.

I'm going to let it go & if she brings it up, fine.