Arrested!

[Leona]

Ok, so, I got arrested while dressed up. I wrote it up on my blog. :)

http://www.davefancella.com/blog/arrested_as_transvestite.html

Since this happened a few weeks ago, I've been going out dressed however I want, but still without the fake boobs. Why not? What's the worst that could happen?

[LoAna]

Wow kool story! I'm happy everything worked out. I couldn't imagine going through that while dressed I would die!

[AmyGaleRT]

OMG Leona! I'm glad it all worked out for you.

From the event I was at about transgender safety and civil rights, I know that if I were arrested as Amy, I would be treated reasonably fairly by Denver PD. Still, I think I'd be mortified!

- Amy

[Leona]

Well, I'm still mad about getting thrown in the suicide tank "for protection". If the charges hadn't dropped and I had been moved to the general population, it *may* have become an issue, but it may not either.

[Princess Grandpa]

I just finished reading your blog. Quite the experience really.

I tend to mistrust the police. I'm so glad this went well for you. I would offer kudos to the police but it seems odd to commend someone merely for treating another being with dignity. I'm glad you reported it. Credit where credit is due. We hear such horror stories.

Hug
Rita

[Kandy Barr]

wow Leona, that's one for the books. So glad everything worked out, it easily could have had a different ending. You write very well btw, kept me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen next.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Leona, Where else could you go and have that much fun??

[Tracii G]

Wow that was a 20 hours to remember!!!

[meganmartin]

I read this and your blog
What were you arrested for.

[Leona]

Hi Leona, Where else could you go and have that much fun??

Heh, I like your attitude.

Kandy: Thanks! I feel so out of practice right now, though. :/

Megan: The charges are a private matter, that's why they're not mentioned in the article.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Yeah the pokie sux for sure, better jail than prison though, the d*** doctor woulda removed your polish if you got to that point though. Out here in Chicago (26th and Cal) you have to be gang affiliated or repeat violent offender to get thrown in div C, (general pop) I visited there a couple times, once on assaulting an officer and they still threw me in div B (drunk tank)

I used to have all kind of anger management issues, that coupled with being proficient in a couple forms of martial arts, i thought I was an invincible bad ass, but there's always someone badder. 30 days in jail awaiting trial, a couple minor fights here and there, then getting a huge ass kicking by a gang of LK's, 90 days of SWAP, and having to sell most of my possesions to pay restitution, really taught me a lesson. I hope this does the same to you. It's too easy to let your emotions get the best of you and cause you to react poorly. Don't know if you have yet, but long term jail and prison of any sort suck.

[mikiSJ]

Have you thought about working on NOT getting arrested! It makes life so much more convenient.

I was arrested at 20 while in the Navy for Drunk and Disorderly and Drinking as a Minor. I stopped drinking after that and I haven't had to worry about being arrested for being drunk anymore.

Try it, and you may not have to relate your arrest history to us again!

Oh, I am glad you were treated with some amount of respect - given your situation.

[Leona]

Have you thought about working on NOT getting arrested! It makes life so much more convenient.

When you combine the phrase "domestic squabble" and "charges dropped", both of which appear in that article, it means that until I tell you what actually happened, you should probably avoid getting judgmental about it.

[Stephanie47]

On the rare occasion when I do venture out en femme, I make sure I have not a sip of alcohol in me. I check my headlights, taillights and brake lights. I carry a change of male clothing in the car. Why? It isn't so much worrying about the police stopping me. It's because I may not want to be taken 'downtown' to meet some unenlightened members of society.

[Beverley Sims]

If you remember no other event in your life that one is engraved on your brain.
Lucky for you.
No fighting now. :)

[Eryn]

Leona,

In your article you said that you were sitting in a courtroom handcuffed to two other prisoners and the magistrate is telling you how to proceed, yet you are so blasé about the process that you "dozed off several times listening to the judge go through his spiel." Later you state "Having done this before, I knew what scene would greet me when I left the jail. "

My thought about this is that you need to learn not to do whatever "domestic squabbling" you did that you don't want to talk about. Getting put in jail repeatedly is not a normal life activity and does not help the image of the TG community at all. The next "squabble" you engage in may end with more severe consequences and none of us wants to see CDing connected with that.

[Leona]

Leona,

In your article you said that you were sitting in a courtroom handcuffed to two other prisoners and the magistrate is telling you how to proceed, yet you are so blasé about the process that you "dozed off several times listening to the judge go through his spiel." Later you state "Having done this before, I knew what scene would greet me when I left the jail. "

My thought about this is that you need to learn not to do whatever "domestic squabbling" you did that you don't want to talk about. Getting put in jail repeatedly is not a normal life activity and does not help the image of the TG community at all. The next "squabble" you engage in may end with more severe consequences and none of us wants to see CDing connected with that.

Perhaps I should reread it, because the first two times I was arrested weren't domestic things. One was when I was 21 over drugs, and the other was a DWI a few years ago. I've made the appropriate changes to my life to avoid those two issues coming up again.

To be honest, I spoke with a friend of mine about this particular incident that happens to work with domestic violence victims. Upon hearing my story, she told me I was a victim of domestic violence. So, take that for what it's worth, I'm obviously not interested in lectures over getting arrested in the first place. Like I said, it's a private matter, but if I have to state some facts so that the more judgmental will back off and not do the things that re-victimize me, then there it is.

Tread lightly when domestic violence is involved and you know very little about what happened. Try to stick to the story that IS told. You know, manners and all. And consider that I may very well have posted here with the expectation that my privacy in the matter would be respected, considering what community is here.

[mikiSJ]

I'm obviously not interested in lectures over getting arrested in the first place.

Then I suggest you not post about your 'heroic' adventures with your local police department.

[joanna4]

Thank you for sharing. That's great to know if I ever get arrested while dressed. You have a great attitude and perspective.

[Debra Russell]

Oh wow what a read -- glad your all right..............................Debr

[Leona]

Then I suggest you not post about your 'heroic' adventures with your local police department.

Perhaps you should quote the entire paragraph to at least show you read it.



To be honest, I spoke with a friend of mine about this particular incident that happens to work with domestic violence victims. Upon hearing my story, she told me I was a victim of domestic violence. So, take that for what it's worth, I'm obviously not interested in lectures over getting arrested in the first place. Like I said, it's a private matter, but if I have to state some facts so that the more judgmental will back off and not do the things that re-victimize me, then there it is.
Thinking this is the wrong place for me now.

[Karen_K]

Thinking this is the wrong place for me now.

For what its worth, I was surprised by the somewhat judgmental responses too. I found them off the mark, somewhat rude, and I'm glad you posted your story. Glad everything worked out too.

[famousunknown]

Thinking this is the wrong place for me now.

You may be onto something there.


For what its worth, I was surprised by the somewhat judgmental responses too. I found them off the mark, somewhat rude, and I'm glad you posted your story.

Really ? I don't see it that way at all. Do you or your friends get arrested repeatedly for various offences ? Mine don't, nor do I.

[Keri L]

Leona, thanks for sharing.

As a lawyer, I always try to remember that we are all innocent, unless and until proven guilty. And, here it sounds like the charges were dropped, so no judgment here.

Best,
Cate

[Tina955]

Lady's lady's lady's. Didn't yo mama's tell you if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.
After all she did charges were dropped( innocent people especially males in domestic violence do wind up in jail).
I do understand getting arrested isnt a proper subject to discuss on this forum. We just don't need to attack someone who I am sure wasn't trying to ruffle any feathers. We need each others support. Come on, can't we all just be lady's.

Tina

[Ceri Anne]

I was pulled over for speeding on night after having been out at the club. I had had a drink earlier and had not eaten anything since, just one drink about two hours before. Needless to say, I was terrified. I was wearing a short school girl skirt, thigh highs, white blouse tied about my waist. This was the first (and only) time I had been pulled over dressed.

Since he could smell alcohol on my breath, I had to go thru the whole routine. I was able to pass all the tests, speak coherently, but was shaking somewhat due to nerves and having no idea how I would be treated. I needn't have feared, I was treated respectfully, nothing was mentioned about how I was dressed, and I was ticketed for speeding and sent on my way. Did I say this was in a very redneck town?

All that said, I have worked around law enforcement indirectly for years as an equipment vendor. I've seen the (usually young) power hungry ones, a few corrupt, but most have been very professional. I had one sergeant who became friends with me who was killed on a domestic violence call. Those are the most unstable calls. In this case, the woman who called, who he was protecting from having the crap beat out of her, stabbed him in the back with a butcher knife because he was arresting her boyfriend.

So while there are bad officers, just like there are bad in every field, they do have a very dangerous and difficult job, and the majority really do have your best interest in mind.

[RADER]

Glad all worked out well; I would not want to go through what you did, You are a brave one.
Rader

[Ceri Anne]

Then I suggest you not post about your 'heroic' adventures with your local police department.

While I think we all agree, its best not to be in a situation where one could get arrested, I believe the intent of this post was to let us know that as transgender people, we most likely will receive decent treatment if we ever get into that situation, whether an argument with our spouse that gets out of hand (or similar) a traffic stop, or maybe even an accident situation. Law enforcement for the most part is honorable. Thank you for sharing.

[AmyGaleRT]

I'm willing to grant that Leona was likely a victim of circumstance. Without knowing her precise situation, I can say that domestic violence laws can be a very touchy subject. Here in Colorado, for instance, if the police get called to a domestic violence scene, by law, they have to take someone into custody. Often, of course, it's the man, regardless of who is perceived to be the "victim" vs. the "aggressor." They don't care who the man happens to be; there was a well-known case where they responded to a call at the home of Patrick Roy (then-goalie for the Colorado Avalanche and probably one of the top goalies of all time), and yes, they took Saint Patrick, the man with four Stanley Cup rings, into custody overnight. No one is "immune" from this sort of treatment. If the laws where Leona lives are similar, you can see why they were compelled to haul her in, and why that law exists (to separate the participants in the dispute, to prevent someone from getting seriously injured or even killed). As the saying goes, "Dura lex, sed lex." ("The law is hard, but it's the law.")

- Amy (IANAL)

[Jenni Yumiko]

Off topic, I like your Ralph story. Very cool.

[Leona]

Wow, Ceri, that's a wild story, the domestic violence call. We definitely don't give cops enough credit, especially when the news usually has at least one or two stories about cops abusing their power.

I'm also glad your ticket thing worked out. My wife was in a similar situation where she had had *A* beer, and the cop walked her through the steps and then arrested her. Here they do the breathalyzer while you're being processed downtown, not in the field. Once she blew in that, they stopped processing and let her go. Of course, in the process, the car got impounded.

Amy: the law is basically if someone got hurt, and only one person got hurt, the one not hurt is arrested. The cops make no attempt to determine who's the aggressor, their mission is to stop any potential violence and let the courts sort it all out. Hence the charges being reviewed by two magistrates and dropped is quite significant.

[Catherine Hopkins]

Seems VERY judgemental to me.

Leona - not all of us are so quick to judge.

[famousunknown]

Seems VERY judgemental to me.


I don't think so when you consider this wasn't the first arrest.

[Catherine Hopkins]

I don't think so when you consider this wasn't the first arrest.

Depends really. Did you bother to read that the arrests were totally unconnected? They hardly represent the life of a hardened criminal, more a few mistakes along the road of life.

Did you read that there were NO charges from this last arrest? That it was for a domestic incident that may require an arrest simply to separate the parties?

I'm not saying Leona is a little saint but I sure don't think she deserves such judgement on what is, after all, a support forum?

I presume everyone else is whiter than white? Wasn't there something about casting the first stone?

[famousunknown]

Depends really. Did you bother to read that the arrests were totally unconnected? They hardly represent the life of a hardened criminal, more a few mistakes along the road of life.

Did you read that there were NO charges from this last arrest? That it was for a domestic incident that may require an arrest simply to separate the parties?

I'm not saying Leona is a little saint but I sure don't think she deserves such judgement on what is, after all, a support forum?

I presume everyone else is whiter than white? Wasn't there something about casting the first stone?

Unconditional support with no explanation or exception ? Sorry, No, I don't think so. Life simply doesn't work that way.

[Eryn]

Tread lightly when domestic violence is involved and you know very little about what happened. Try to stick to the story that IS told. You know, manners and all. And consider that I may very well have posted here with the expectation that my privacy in the matter would be respected, considering what community is here.

Leona, if you post a story and omit relevant information you have to expect that readers will fill in the gaps with what is the most plausable. You admitted that you had been arrested multiple times and are familiar enough with the process that you became bored with the legal proceedings. This is not within the range of normal citizenship.

As far as privacy is concerned, you're posting on a public forum. If you wish a situation be kept private then don't post about it. If you do post it isn't unexpected that some of the responses might not be all positive, particularly if the situation described creates a negative public image for CDing.

[Leona]

Leona, if you post a story and omit relevant information you have to expect that readers will fill in the gaps with what is the most plausable. You admitted that you had been arrested multiple times and are familiar enough with the process that you became bored with the legal proceedings. This is not within the range of normal citizenship.

That information was not relevant to the story because the story was about being arrested while dressed up. It doesn't matter why. Could have been a DWI, could have been PI, could have been an unregistered *******, could have been anything. The charges themselves were not relevant to the story I told.

Now, you can argue the story I told is a part of a larger story that you may want to know. I'll certainly agree with that. That story is private.

As for range of normal citizenship, I guess I live in a different culture than you do. Here in Austin, it is quite normal to be arrested for some petty offenses along the way, get cited for various things. The police here happen to crack down on public intoxication (a class C misdemeanor) during special events, and we have those all the time. With particularly aggressive laws regarding domestic conflicts, I've known quite a few people over the years who were not in abusive relationships and managed to spend a night in jail just as I did just because neighbors called the cops over a "domestic squabble".


As far as privacy is concerned, you're posting on a public forum. If you wish a situation be kept private then don't post about it. If you do post it isn't unexpected that some of the responses might not be all positive, particularly if the situation described creates a negative public image for CDing.
Several things I see wrong with this paragraph. First, I didn't post about the fight, I posted about the arrest. Is it so hard to see that? Second, there's a difference between negative responses and downright judgmental responses. I think an argument could be made that since I have male anatomy, those responses that judged me as an abuser of some sort were based on prejudice and stereotypes. Do you agree or disagree with that?

Catherine: I'm hardly a saint. :) Sometimes, I'm a downright troublemaker. Perhaps you've noticed...

famousunknown: I wasn't here seeking support for the charges. Like I said, that part is private. Nor was I seeking support for the, shall we say, emotional impact of being arrested while dressed. I guess you could say I didn't come here seeking support. I had a story that I had already told, and when I came here seeing threads about people's going out stories, I thought this might throw some interesting questions into it and at the very least be an entertaining read. Especially when you consider that in some parts of the country, just being dressed is enough reason for a cop to trump up charges and arrest you anyway. Perhaps if you should find yourself in such an unfortunate situation, after having read my story, you'll be able to see more clearly if it's happening (although not perfectly clearly, it's just one story, really). Or maybe my story is male bovine excrement. Hard to say, really.

As for the idea of seeking support in general, I realize these forums exist to provide support, so again, perhaps I came to the wrong place. I didn't come for support at all because I already have a very strong support structure in my friends and wife as a crossdresser. When I "came out" to all of them (which I didn't really do, I just started living like I was already out and nobody cared nor were they surprised), I finally started to heal from certain parts of my previous marriage where I *had* picked good friends that really care about me. For me, coming out (such as I did it) was a very positive experience. If I lost anybody over it, I certainly didn't notice.

So I didn't come here for support. I came here to find like-minded people, looking for friends, fellow miscreants, and just to generally have a good time, and while reading as a guest, I saw that that possibility was here. Realizing these are support forums, and reading other people's coming out stories, I had confirmation (not that I needed it) that my own story is quite unique. Maybe I have something to add here.

I don't know. But I didn't come here to be judged unfairly based on a lack of information, and I expected a trans* support forum to not do that, because that is precisely the issue we all face out in public every single day. People see me in a skirt and read between the lines and give their judgmental looks, and that's nothing compared to some of the stories I'm sure you all have here.

So, are we clear what my expectations were? Can we move on to why and how they weren't met (by what appears to be a handful of people) and whether or not they were even realistic, or do any of you feel like you'd just be restating what you've already said?

[Jenniferathome]

Chris Rock had a great response to a person who said they had never been arrested, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO NOT GET ARRESTED!"

5 year olds know that.

[Leona]

Chris Rock had a great response to a person who said they had never been arrested, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO NOT GET ARRESTED!"

5 year olds know that.

Then why do they end up in time out so much?

I should point out that 5 year olds also "know" that boys don't wear girls clothes. Pick a different authority to appeal to. :)

[Courtney . J]

wow what a crazy thread lol ,.

Leona- i was just in the EXACT situation you was in and i also went to TC jail and was outed to the world there , :eek:.lol .. i was in Drab but my toe nails were painted HOT Pink :heehee:.. and of course you know the kind of shoes you get in there ,. just perfect for showing off your awesome nails :doh:.lol ..i spent a day at TC and learned i was being transferred to DV ,. Holy Crap ive never removed my nail polish so fast in my life , and with nothing to use but my finger nails:doh: ,. so by time i got to DV i looked like a mess lol .. but the funny thing is , NOBODY said a word about my nails ,. of course i got alot of looks but nothing was ever said,..


you never know how small the world is untill you find a forum like this and read about somebody that just went through the exact same thing you have been through :D


i wish i would have got some nice comments like you did though ,lol :heehee:

CJ

[Nicole Erin]

The people working at a jail have seen it all, including TG folks.
To them, what they do is just a job. To the one getting arrested, it seems chaotic.

I am not judging someone who gets arrested, I have known plenty of folks who have.

Since I have not been to jail, I don't know what it is like. I am guessing that for the most part, people treat you as you treat them.

[Leona]

Courtney: It's likely that the reason I got the nice comments was because they threw me in the suicide tank. :/

Curious when you were in DV. There was a guy there when I was there for my DWI that may have had painted toenails (he had long hair, and otherwise matched particular gay stereotypes, so out of respect I made sure I didn't treat him any differently)... I ended up giving him Twilight right before they let me out. (I told my wife I had to be in jail to read it, then I was, and there it was, but I only got half way through it)

[Sandieland]

In the mid-eighties I drove a cab for a while in Austin. Back then the only word I had ever heard for a crossdresser was "transvestite" - and they were a large part of my late night clientele - especially on the weekends. I loved them. And most of them were young. male UT students. At that time Austin was the most liberal city in the nation...it was legal for women to go topless (there was a topless jogging club at UT - women could go topless at Barton Springs and Hippie Hollow at Lake Travis was only one of the many places to go for co-ed nude sunbathing. I remember people barely gave notice to crossdressers - and my favorite bar allowed people to put their stash on the tables and smoke freely. Ludes were the preferred pills for night-clubbing and no one gave a damn what your sexuality was. And the cops usually only arrested people when violence or disorderly drunken conduct was involved. Peace and out.