I'm 7 years out. What is your experience? What have you learned about yourself?

[Sejd]

I came out 7 years ago. Through therapy did I realize that I was a person who all my life had lived with what is called gender disorder. I don't see myself as a person with a disorder however. I think I am totally whole and beautifull as I am. I cannot live completely as free as I would like to because I am married but I do have a lot of freedom and do dress every evening at home. I am all in all pretty happy with my life and situation. I sometimes feel the lack of "time out" because my partner cannot accept me as a woman in public together with her. I do however understand that problem. I believe I would have a hard time with that myself if the table was turned. How long have you been "out" and are you OK about the situation you have to deal with every day?

[Beverley Sims]

My situation is similar although there is probably a greater degree of freedom of expression for me.
I do go out when on holidays regularly.
At home I am a little more discreet.

[Kimberly Kael]

I spent most of my adult life finding ways to express my feminine side to the women I dated. It wasn't usually a deal-breaker and most found it endearing in one way or another, but then I didn't understand myself fully enough to get across that it wasn't a simple quirk or fetish. The woman I eventually married had known for some time that I had a second wardrobe, and she was kind and patient with my awkward process of self-discovery. Things got more complicated as I started questioning just how deep it ran for me. Even so, she was the one who encouraged me to integrate this part of myself rather than maintaining two distinct identities.

She was clearly quite scared in the year or two leading up to my transition. Me too, for that matter, but we managed to make it work together. It has been an amazing three and a half years since I started living my life openly as a woman. Much to my relief it wasn't the end if my career, my marriage, or a single friendship I can think of. Even the majority of my family were accepting, with the sole exception of my father and his new wife. They'll come around, or they won't, but I'm living an amazing life I never would have believed was possible.

[sandra-leigh]

There are different levels of coming out. My start was with sales associates at women's clothing stores: I didn't know them "personally" but they were amongst the first to see me in both modes. I also became part of a social club early on. The first set of people who knew me before were at some of the clubs I went to.

About 5 years ago I had reason to tell human resources at my workplace. That talk with HR went well, but I was never to find a "good time" to officially come out at work. I wasn't ready at the beginning of those 5 years, and later my workplace got into stressful situations where it seemed clear that I would Suffer Consequences if I came out -- not for being trans, but for the sin of disrupting the workplace even if only for a 15 minute all-staff meeting. Last spring (2012) I was in bad shape, getting ready to quit or go on leave, but I was layed off instead.

No-one that I used to work with has "met" Sandra. I did talk about it a bit with a couple of people. A small number saw me Dressed, entering or leaving the workplace late or on holidays. An unknown number might have seen me around town in that time.

About 3 years ago I talked to my mother, and my sister about me being trans.

After being laid off, I started going even more places more blatantly and more frequently. It could be that people I knew from work have seen me. But by now I have gone dressed to everywhere (that I would normally go; e.g., I seldom have reason to go to my wife's workplace.) I am "out" to the neighborhood, even if I haven't talked to some of them about it. Interestingly, there are some neighbors that I know well enough to stop and talk whenever we both are out at the same time (and I'm not in a hurry), and they have taken completely in stride that I sometimes show up in a skirt or dress, that it is just part of who I am.

All my medical and semi-medical people have seen me dressed by now. I haven't talked to my dentist about it, but he's seen me multiple times, and my HRT meds are on the chart. My doctors, my massage, my physio, all know. My electronic medical record for the province carries a note asking that I be referred to as female and called Sandra-Leigh.

Sometimes it feels that the person who I am least out to is my wife. She is... "voluntarily not understanding" shall we say? Just a few minutes ago, when asking about the clothes shopping I did today, she asked me if I'd bought any mens clothes and expressed disappointment when I said I had not. (What would I do with mens clothes??) She doesn't want to think about it too much because if she did she would have to make decisions.

Am I okay about the situation I have to deal with every day? More or less. I'm still holding back some in the relationship; and my wife still expects me to not wear a skirt or dress when I go out somewhere with her (even just to the market.) I would like to change my name and get breast augmentation; the name change I might be able to do within the relationship, but my wife has a hard time adjusting to my breasts as it is. In public, the Bathroom Issue bugs me: I usually use the mens because I am "read" so easily and until I get some kind of official change of gender I worry about being given a hard time by security or police. It's almost a catch-22: can't get an official gender change until I've lived "full time" female for sufficiently long, but I can't really do the "use public facilities" part of living full time until I get an official gender change.

[kimdl93]

I've been honest with my wife since before we married over a decade ago, but I only started feeling comfortable and capable of being out in the broader sense over the past couple of years. I would guess that I spend 70 percent of my life en femme, both at home and out in the community where I live. I would go 100percent if circumstances allowed, but I'm very content with what I have.

[Sejd]

WOW, that's a dream story :0)

[Sejd]

Sounds a lot like my situation Sandra, except I'm free to dress at home, but sometimes I get quite depressed because of this "two world" living. I guess that's why the label "Dysphoria".