Are people really staring or is it in my head???

[GinaM]

I've been getting out en femme and enjoying it. Not as much as I would like but this will change when fall arrives. I've been working on my look for the past year and looking less like a tramp (although I will NEVER lose the 5"+ heels) and trying to look more like a regular gal. Obviously, when I'm out I feel like everyone is staring at me and laughing but the reality is I haven't noticed it at all. I know most of it is in our heads and we feel that everyone is staring at us laughing and maybe they are but I think it's mostly to themselves.

What are your thoughts?

[Karen_the_Cutie]

well if that picture is any indication, I'd say anyone staring is doing it cause you look damn sexy! :heehee:

keep doing what makes you happy, i don't really worry about other people when I'm out, as long as I'm having fun that's what matters :]

[Miriam-J]

They're staring, but it's probably not because you're a CD - at least not first, quick impression. Any woman wearing 5" heels will get stares, let alone with sexy clothes (I'd be one of those staring). Either adapt or get used to it.

Miriam

[Karen_the_Cutie]

yup if you want to blend in dress down a little. you can still be very feminine without heels and stockings and all. (although they are fun to wear!) some skinny jeans and a cute top can feel just as good, and you won't stand out somewhere casual like a mall.

[TeresaCD]

I'm sure some do, does it really matter.
There's one barmaid at the pub I've been at a few times.
Young, always calls us beautiful, sweetie.
She makes up for a hundred a**holes any day
We are all self conscious naturally, I think. Takes time and a choice to not be perhaps..

[RenneB]

I've come to the conclusion that I can either dress to blend with the crowd or dress to say "look at me". Actually, I'm about halfway in between most of the time. I tend to dress a step up from the crowd that I think is going to be where I think I'm going to be. If it's wallyworld, I'm always five steps up and that's with flats and jeans on....

Heels are going to get you noticed almost where ever you go unless you're heading to the ball or a prom. However, I've found that there is a big difference between heels that go click clack and the silent ones. The click clack ones will get me noticed in the mall from some distance. While the silent ones tend to let me go un-noticed.. Just a thought.

I think you look great and hope you're having a blast...

Thanks for sharing....

Renne.....

[jenny88]

I've been getting out en femme and enjoying it. Not as much as I would like but this will change when fall arrives. I've been working on my look for the past year and looking less like a tramp (although I will NEVER lose the 5"+ heels) and trying to look more like a regular gal. Obviously, when I'm out I feel like everyone is staring at me and laughing but the reality is I haven't noticed it at all. I know most of it is in our heads and we feel that everyone is staring at us laughing and maybe they are but I think it's mostly to themselves.

What are your thoughts?

yup yup I agree :battingeyelashes:

[Jenniferathome]

People, in general, rarely stare. They "notice." And yes, they notice a guy in stripper heels. I am surprised you write that you are working on your look and trying to look like a regular gal when you also write you, "will NEVER lose the 5"+ heels." Regular gals don't wear heels like that. If you want to be "noticed" keep doing what you are doing.

[Beverley Sims]

I do not know how well you present but I would lower the heels a little.
As you say the rest is probably in your head.
If you are butt ugly, you are unlikely to get looks anyway.
The five inch heels would attract attention, especialy if you have a long beard and mustache.

[Chickhe]

I found that people stare more at females. If they are staring at you because you are CDing their is usually a look of surprise, or a big grin....like they saw something that nobody else saw... If its staring and nothing else, they are looking at you as a woman...maybe an unusual looking one... and if they stare and then smile or start following you around...they are thinking something else.

[Cheryl T]

Some will stare, some will laugh, most will not care.
Just hold your head up, be proud, confident and show that you belong where ever you are and others will notice that more.

[DanaGirl]

Here is my take on what ive noticed with us girls on the forum. Some of us want to pass as a girl and some want to wear sexy things. I love wearing sexy things , but if your walking around wallmart with your makeup perfect wearing something way too formal and 5 inch heels then your not really gonna pass or at the very least your going to draw attention. real girls seldom wear really high heels and short skirts and thigh highs.

my problem is that in order to look somewhat passable i have to have on alot of makeup, which like i said most girls dont always have their makup perfect so im guessing i would stand out a bit but i dont know what to do about that, i have to cover up the man face somehow.

[CherylFlint]

5” heels in the daytime may be a little too extreme, but whatever floats your boat.
Just stay safe.
“Passing” is indeed an art form. I equate us as thespian actors and the world is our stage and we’re to fool the audience that we are truly female.
I also look at me walking out the front door dressed as “making my entrance”, and take the time and make the effort to “pass”, and to stay safe.
I dress to fool the real females, because if I can fool them, I can certainly fool the guys, too.
I wish you well.

[Deedee Skyblue]

However, I've found that there is a big difference between heels that go click clack and the silent ones. The click clack ones will get me noticed in the mall from some distance. While the silent ones tend to let me go un-noticed... Renne.....

Part of the point of wearing heels is the click clack!

Deedee : |\_ |\_ click clack click clack:

[Kate Simmons]

I'm too busy minding what I do to worry about what other people say and do. If I made someone's day by giving them a cheap thrill, so be it. Not enough laughter in the world these days anyway.:)

[Majella St Gerard]

I think it's a little of both. Most of it is in our heads, but they do look. Unless you can really pass you will not go un-noticed. I think we would be up-set if no one paid us any attention, what's the sense of getting all dressed up and pretty if no one appreciates it. I go out wearing "women's clothes" but I don't dress to pass, I don't wear a wig and don't present as a woman, I'm just a man in a dress. So I expect to get some looks and stares. As long as they are not pointing and laughing and if they were, then that's their problem.

[Jana]

It's hard to say whether or not they are staring without really knowing what you wear when you step out of the house. If you dress to blend in, and move graciously, most people will not give you a second look. Conversely, 5" heels will most likely draw attention no matter who's wearing them.

Also, I don't know if you've noticed but many GGs examine each other's hair, clothes, shoes, handbags, nails, skin, makeup ALL THE TIME. So, perhaps that's where the "stares" are coming from: mall fashionistas! ;)

[linda allen]

They're staring, but it's probably not because you're a CD - at least not first, quick impression. Any woman wearing 5" heels will get stares, let alone with sexy clothes (I'd be one of those staring). Either adapt or get used to it.

Miriam

That's pretty much what I was going to post. Any woman wearing 5" heels anywhere except in the nightclub district at night is going to be stared at and viewed as a hooker. That's how it is.

My choice is to dress like a "normal" woman for the time and place as best I can.

[ReineD]

I know most of it is in our heads and we feel that everyone is staring at us laughing and maybe they are but I think it's mostly to themselves.

What are your thoughts?

If you feel stared at, it's because you are.

What might be in your head is whether they are laughing or not. Truth told, we don't know what people are thinking. But, based on conversations that I've had with people who are not aware that my SO dresses, I'd say the majority disapprove, at least until they actually talk to you, even if they don't say anything nor do they laugh out loud. A few will be OK with it, but for the most part, people do not understand men who wish to wear women's clothing, especially the type of clothing that a tramp would wear. This screams "fetish" and people are generally uncomfortable with that in public.

If you're at a night club though, then everything goes especially if there are drag shows there. My paragraph above refers to going out in the day-to-day mainstream.

[PretzelGirl]

I think we sometimes try and relate too much to us being crossdressers. Are people looking at you? A definitive yes! Some may be making you. Some may have just caught you out of the corner of their eye and it is a natural glance over to assess things. Others may notice a piece of your outfit and want to take a closer look. Heck, I scan every area I walk into, so I am looking at everyone.

So while we may get made on different levels and more so on some days then others, I think the possibility of us inflating the negative is always there.

[sherri]

Unless you're one of the fortunate few blessed with feminine features, people do notice, and way more than some like to admit. But like Jennifer noted, most people notice or do a double take and go on about their business, end of story. Only a few will stare, and in my experience, they are either intrigued and would like to engage out of sheer curiosity and/or a desire to be supportive, or are thinking about hitting on you, or are hostile. Unfortunately, most starers are in the third group and discretion is advised. There is rarely anything to be gained from engaging the haters. Fortunately, it doesn't happen very often if you exercise a little common sense.

[Vicky_Scot]

Paranoia is a close friend of crossdressers, but of course this is my opinion.

Love and light to you all.