Pretty toes, and an apology.

[jaye_cd]

I was running some errands in drab yesterday with the family after work and we ended up at a Red Robin for a bite to eat. My wife and I were on one side of the table, and the kids were opposite of us. We had been served our food and were well into our meal when a mother and her son about the same age as ours were seated in the booth behind the kids. I noticed the child kept turning and staring at me while the mom was talking to him very pointedly about my lovely plum purple nails. (It's one of the few things my wife will tolerate these days.)

I looked up at the mom with a puzzled look on my face but smiling to, and she told me she was showing her son that it's OK for guys to paint their nails and he needs to stop worrying about what his friends say. She then explained that her son had autism, and one of the things that helps him is to go to the salon with her and get "pretty toes" painted at the same time she does. She said that his school mates often pick on him about it and today was a particularly bad day so they had come for his favorite food to cheer him up.

My wife then piped up, and told the little boy that you should be able to be yourself, and do what makes you happy, and not worry about what others think. I sat there quite stunned after she said that due to how she has been treating me as of late.

On the way home, she held my hand, and told me she was sorry how she's been acting about my dressing, and that I should get out more with my friends and be happy. She said she wished she could really accept it but that she probably never will after all the times she has tried, and she was deeply sorry for that, but wants us to be happy together.

[~Joanne~]

Thank you for a very positive and up lifting story :) Sorry your wife thinks she may never fully on board with your dressing but at least she is becoming a bit more tolerable of it. She is trying after all but for some women , just will never be able to accept this fully.

[Aly Cat]

Do you and i have the same wife? I hope not, cause that would be weird! My wife is exactly the same way. She knows i need this part of me and that it is in fact a part of me, but cant stand it and wont be able to accept it, but wants us to be happy together. Its crazy. If there was just a little flip in their brains i think they would be the perfect women for us! All other apsects, my wife is amazing, she just doesnt really accept and actually despises the thought of me in womens clothes.

[Stevie]

Glad to hear good things. At least she is being honest and is willing to try. My wife knows and if I was more truthful up front maybe she would be as understanding. Sounds like my wife has similar feelings about acceptance.

[docrobbysherry]

Women r changeable creatures aren't they? One day they seem to love u completely. Next, it's all critical comments! Sigh!

[Karren H]

Damn! I so envy you.... my wife never let's me go to Red Robin!

[Beverley Sims]

Jaye,
I appreciate your wife's outlook, nurture her and go softly, one day she may become more accepting.

[Tracii G]

Such a great story and I'm glad the little boy sees it OK to be who he is.
He has a great Mom and your wife did a great thing.Kudos to your wife.


I love Red Robin too.

[Alice B]

That is a great story and your wife shows that she is open to adjustment and that she really loves you.

[Princess Grandpa]

I love how your wife was able to encourage the boy. I like even more how she could see how it applied to your lives. So often it's easier to be accepting of strangers than our loved ones. I predict good times in your future.

Hug
Rita

[nethiker55]

maybe she will come around, be patient

[jaye_cd]

She wasn't always against it, that just seems to be where we're mostly at now. I came out to her 7 years ago, and it's been up and down since.

She hated it.
She tolerated it.
She'd buy me things.
She wished it would go away.

[kimdl93]

That last part of your wife's comments was interesting. She seems to be accepting a great deal, but can get over her personal hang ups with your dressing. I don't have a solution for that. However, I chafe at the word never. Attitudes, beliefs and values are not immutable.

[shawnsheila]

Wow, first I think it is amazing how you touched that kids life... who knows, you probably gave him the strength to resist the other kids bully him because he saw your nails.
Second, that one moment whene you helped that child may have also help soften your wife's heart on your dressing :) I hope things change for the better for you after this experience dear :)

[Miriam-J]

That's a wonderful story, Jaye. I read it aloud to my wife (very open and helpful), who appreciated it as well. As a parent of an autistic child, I can really see the lesson for all of you. Thank you for sharing it.

Miriam

[Dianne S]

Great story.

Your wife's reaction sounds like my wife's too. She does not like it when I crossdress... she even avoids looking at me. But then she buys me clothes, accessories and makeup and tried to find ways for me to have CDing time so I can feel happier and more relaxed. It's a very strange situation.