Am I losing my masculinity?

[Sophia Rearen]

My wife and I are sharing the master bathroom. I'm looking for a place to warm the moisturizer. My wife looks and me and say's, "haven't you become cushy?" I replied, "what, what are you talking about?" She looks at me and says, "just look at yourself". I said, "what, I'm wearing jeans, a Tee shirt, and a tattered old sweatshirt, and nothing says masculine like a tattered old sweatshirt". Her reply, "oh yea, and what do you have on under those jeans?" She got me. She saw me dress. I had on VS pink nylon panties. I said, "Something that makes me feel nice".:) Then, in jest, she quotes the movie, So Fine, and says, "you are not a man". We share a laugh and move on. Later, we're on our way to a Christmas party. She wore her black velvet pants and a shiny metalic silver blouse. She looked beautiful. I had her try on this Jones New York dress, but she just won't do the dress thing. I tried and I tried. She would just rather not wear a dress. I, on the other hand would like to wear a dress. So, we're on the way to the party and I'm not really sure how the conversation got to this point, but, she says to me, "you are losing your masculinity". I argued that I'm not. Since, outing myself to her three years now, nothing has really changed in my personality to suggest that, when not enfemme. In fact, if anything has changed, it's been for her better. I try to help her out more around the house. I try to listen better. I am more sensitive to her needs, etc.
Physically, I'm smooth shaven through the winter months, I paint my toenails in those same months, and keep my eyebrows from going out of control (not too bushy, not too fem). One day prior to this conversation, I shaved off a four day beard. She dislikes the beard.

So, what is it?

And, how's your balance of masculinity to femininity?

Does this dress indicate a loss of masculinity?:D

[Lisa Marie]

I think the dress looks very nice on you. And you look pretty as well. Wish I could shave my arms and get by with it. Angie

[Jan W]

Not at all Sophia it is very butch!

(The pearls are a bit girly though)

[ChristineRenee]

I'd say that the dress is definitely an enhancement of your FEMININITY! You aren't losing your masculinity...rather...you just are embracing your femininity...and that's not a bad thing at all IMO!;)

[SherriePall]

Sophia --
When you're dressed like that, you look all fem. And a beautiful looking one too! My wife sometimes chides me for not wanting to do masculine things or for my eyebrows not being bushy enough.

[melissacd]

No not girly at all :eek:

[BrendaChristine]

That dress is beautiful. You look fabulous!

[Sharon]

Well..., to be perfectly honest -- you do look a little bit fem. It must be the pearls. :p

[Kimberly]

You look georgous, love!! xx

[gennee]

I absolutely love your

[Daphne Renee]

I am not sure exaclty what she wants you to do.. maybe you could sit on the couch in your underwear watching football and tell her to bring you a beer.. LOL

seriously though.. I am not sure I get it.

[gennee]

I absolutely love:love: your dress! It adds to your femininity and you don't lose your masculinity.

Gennee:) :rose2:

[Sarahgurl371]

Wonderful dress!! You look great! AS for losing my masculinity, Ya I guess I get that too. I guess that sometimes I sit like a girl. I think it might be a sign of some acceptance though, we seem to be able to joke about it now.

[lawnmanmo]

My wife and I are sharing the master bathroom. I'm looking for a place to warm the moisturizer. My wife looks and me and say's, "haven't you become cushy?" I replied, "what, what are you talking about?" She looks at me and says, "just look at yourself". I said, "what, I'm wearing jeans, a Tee shirt, and a tattered old sweatshirt, and nothing says masculine like a tattered old sweatshirt". Her reply, "oh yea, and what do you have on under those jeans?" She got me. She saw me dress. I had on VS pink nylon panties. I said, "Something that makes me feel nice".:) Then, in jest, she quotes the movie, So Fine, and says, "you are not a man". We share a laugh and move on. Later, we're on our way to a Christmas party. She wore her black velvet pants and a shiny metalic silver blouse. She looked beautiful. I had her try on this Jones New York dress, but she just won't do the dress thing. I tried and I tried. She would just rather not wear a dress. I, on the other hand would like to wear a dress. So, we're on the way to the party and I'm not really sure how the conversation got to this point, but, she says to me, "you are losing your masculinity". I argued that I'm not. Since, outing myself to her three years now, nothing has really changed in my personality to suggest that, when not enfemme. In fact, if anything has changed, it's been for her better. I try to help her out more around the house. I try to listen better. I am more sensitive to her needs, etc.
Physically, I'm smooth shaven through the winter months, I paint my toenails in those same months, and keep my eyebrows from going out of control (not too bushy, not too fem). One day prior to this conversation, I shaved off a four day beard. She dislikes the beard.

So, what is it?

And, how's your balance of masculinity to femininity?

Does this dress indicate a loss of masculinity?:D
Dear Sophia
Are you kidding me .....Sophia YOU HAVE LOST IT and its far far away.
Jerry

[Jesse69]

Sophia - you're so lucky to have a tolerant wife. Your still a bit masculine with slightly big arms, but you do look femme in drag.

[crossing_over]

too femmy? no way.... you look like ya ready to go out n hunt n hike hun :) everybody knows that's what heels and a dress are for :whistle:

[Abby Lauren]

I can't imagine why dressing prettily as a woman and wearing makeup and nail polish and jewelry in any way diminishes your masculinity. Where could she have gotten that idea from?

[Rachel Morley]

And, how's your balance of masculinity to femininity?

Once upon a time not that long ago Marla was talking with one of her GG friends at work and told her that I wear women's boot cut jeans. Her friend's response was "gosh, he must be really secure in his masculinity." Marla answered back "masculinity? what masculinity? hee hee!" and they both laughed :D

I have to admit my balance of masculine to feminine definitely falls towards the more feminine side when I'm in "guy mode." I'm sure people think I'm gay or whatever because of all the small fem things that add up to a non manly overall image. Long(ish) clear polished fingernails, no hair on my body (I shave and fake tan my legs in the summer), thin arched eyebrows (that incidentally have become even thinner since Marla worked on them), both ears pierced, and I've been told that the way I sit and act is sometimes somewhat camp. Add to this women's boot cut jeans, women's tennis shoes and women's tshirts and sweaters all in guy mode and I haven't even mentioned my underwear yet! Anyway, you get the picture :D

As for you and that dress....you look fantastic. Definitely feminine and very passable in my view.

[Sophia Rearen]

Thanks all for the lovely compliments. Jesse, yea, I know big arms.They're hard to lose. Although, have you seen some GG's lately? I'm having fun, but there is some seriousness to this thread. Can a CD have the right balance of masculinity to femininity?
Ok, some have commented on my pearls adding to the fem look.
If they are bigger is that more masculine?
Hold the phone, It's the pearls!:D

[Sophia Rearen]

Thanks, Angel
When endrab I possess very few fem qualities.

Ponder this: In an emergency, what would your default be?
Masculine or Feminine?

[Helana]

Sophia

You look great in that dress!

I am glad that you can laugh about these things but do keep in mind that women generally like dropping hints as a way to communicate their wants....so I think she may be telling you she wants more man than woman at this moment. Just as our desire to crossdress can go up and down so can your partners view on crossdressing. Sometimes she can let you be as fem as you like and is fine with it, other times she just wants a man.;)

For sure by coming out to your wife your feminine traits are rising to the surface. You probably are not aware of all of them yourself but others around you are. Most partners do get nervous about this since they tend to be in the closet with you and have to excuse your feminine traits to others who observe it. Other people generally do not approach us directly when they observe somthing but will instead will pass their comments to your partner. You may want to ask her if this has happened.

[Sophia Rearen]

Helana,
Thanks. And, as always very insightful. I'll remember that.

Jesse, I swear I'm working on them.

[robinLynn]

you look very fine dear looks just awesome

[TGMarla]

Oh, yeah, Sophia. Nothing quite says "lumberjack" like a sexy Jones New York evening dress. What, no Klondike boots? Your wife probably needs you to strike a better balance, or she wouldn't bother with the comments. However, while getting ready for a CD Christmas party in which she has chosen to participate might not be the most effective time for her to bring it up. Idea? Perhaps when the night is over, you go guy mode on her ans let her enjoy the other side of the coin for a while. She deserves it. After all, that's the part she married. Remember: balance.

[LisaRaye]

you look great honey. I dont want you to give it up. :gorgeous: :)

[paulaN]

I think it's the shoes that makes you look so fem. A good pair of high top work boots would look much better. ya maybe the pearls adds a little fem too. to me you look stunning. do you realy want or need to be more butch. na you look great.

[Deborah]

Looks like your getting a little bigger up top and flatter down below. Better quit now!!!
:eek: :D

[sterling12]

Sophia:

To paraphrase and take licence with the words of Lincoln just a bit. "You can please all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you seldom can please your wife!" Don't get caught in the male trap, she may have just been "ventilating".

Read that awful "Men are from Mars Book", pretty well explains it. When I read some of the Political Pages, they always use an "out". "This situation requires further examination and study". At this time, I'd opt for that. Otherwise, Happy holidays anyway!

Love, Joanie

[susandrea]

Start farting a lot and scratching your balls in front of her friends and she'll soon prefer the more femme you! :D

Seriously, maybe she just needs some "animal lovin'" if you catch my drift....

[jennifer marie]

Very pretty dress! It looks great on you. Enjoy your holidays!

[Sophia Rearen]

Start farting a lot and scratching your balls in front of her friends and she'll soon prefer the more femme you! :D

Seriously, maybe she just needs some "animal lovin'" if you catch my drift....

susandrea,
I'm a little disappointed. Your responses are usually more enlightening and thought provoking. No, wait, you might be right, maybe that's what attracted her to me in the first place? :D
I can certainly provide all of the above suggestions.

[Jamie M]

So, what is it?

And, how's your balance of masculinity to femininity?



well i've recently had a bit of a personal crisis over how much i may have lost my masculinity over the last year or so . it started a month or so ago when kelly suggested that i've been starting to include many julia traits in my day to day life . at first i thought she was just having an off day but when i sat down and thought about it i could see how true she was .

so my response to this ? well i'm a bit ashamed to say that i went down the lets get rid of julia road , cut my nails , grew a beard , packed everything in the loft and generally let my testosterone go wild for a month . did it make me happy ? i think we all now the answer to that one :D

well after a long talk with kelly the other night which basically came down to her sayong what a right <insert expletive here> i'd become , i realised i just had to try and find the right balance .

so here i am again trying from scartch to find the elusive balance , if i ever do manage to find this holy grail i will of course give you all the answer to life the universe and everything post haste , if any of you find it first , please don't keep it to yourselve's ;)

[Darlena]

A wife would notice these things as a natural course. Myself, I'd like to lose all traces of masculinity. Of course I'm no longer married. Love & kisses,

[Dayna]

If that dress (and shoes and pearls) define femininity, I say count me in! You look fabulous, Sophia! :thumbsup:

[Phoebe Reece]

Sophia,

Your wife says "you are losing your masculinity" because she sees your desire to wear a dress. Is she losing her femininity because she refuses to wear a dress? You are stunningly feminine in your photo. Does that really make you less of a man? Did the actors Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, or John Leguizamo lose their masculinity permanently as a result of portraying drag queens in the movie "Too Wong Foo...."? I think the answer to all these questions is a resounding no. Unless you begin living full time as a woman you will likely continue to exhibit whatever inherent masculinity you have when not crossdressed.

It's not that you are losing masculinity, you are simply gaining femininity. That ability to function in both worlds is what makes me see crossdressing as a gift, rather than a curse.

[Wendy me]

dose there need to be a balance at all??? ok for most of us we have this two sided person or so i am hearing .we stick lables on us so we "fit in" somewere .
could it just be ok that true we have a "him" side and a fem side . just maybe we are just who we are a more blanced more better person becuse we are just us??? is there a need to be eather male or fem?? could our masculinity be definied by our femininity??????

[ginafaye]

you look very very nice indeed.......our house is very similar to yours its not that i gave up any of my old guy jobs here i just share or do so much more of the things she used to do alone. i have noticed im not as competive as before my dressing days much more happy just letting things happen

[Sophia Rearen]

Roxxy, thanks and I'll never give it up!
Paula, Na I don't want to be more butch. I like me just fine. Nothing is better than kicking of my work boots and getting into heels. Thanks for your kind words.
Deborah, I guess I am topsy turvy.
Joanie, seems like it's always further examination and study.
jennifer marie, thanks and merry christmas.
Julia, so you feel my pain. I try living exactly half the year to her liking.
Darlena, lose all traces of masculinity? My wife has masculine traits. I don't want her to lose them!
Dayna, that is very nice, thank you.
Phoebe, boy do I like that comment. Stunningly feminine. Good point about her losing her femininity because she won't wear a dress. I could just hear her say, " I don't have to wear a dress " I totally agree, it is a gift not a curse. Guess I will just have to wait for her to realize that.
Wendy, I'm lovin Phoebe's reply, and than you have to muck up the waters. I think there has to be a balance. She did not know the extent of my cding or the fact that I would even label myself as a cd before we were married. So, I still have to be the man she married. Life is all about compromises. Could our masculinity be defined by femininity. Wow! I sure would like to think so. *Note to self, use that line sometime.* If that is true, imagine all the SO's that don't know about there cding partners. Look at all their missing!
ginafaye, thanks, and there are definite perks for the SO's. So what is all the hub bub?

[Jesse69]

Helana,
Thanks. And, as always very insightful. I'll remember that.

Jesse, I swear I'm working on them.

Sophia - are those natural breasts that you have in this pic? Wouldn't that be a problem to your masculinity?

I just took a pic of myself in a size 3 junior's Limited Dress and I think I'm too masculine. Big legs and big arms, even though I'm slim enough to fit in a size 3!

Show us more of your legs! They seem feminine! Mine are too muscular from too much biking.

[Billijo49504]

Too femmy? NO, just enough! You sure look all girl in those pictures. Especially the one with all the skin showing. Mascu-what? Femm-yes. And very cute looking. Of course the dress helps. But girl you're hot!!!!!

[sarahjan]

When you look at good at that who cares

[Cathy J]

Why the worry about losing your masculinity? I thought the reason we dress was to feel and look as feminine as possible with what we have to work with.
That sure is my goal.

If I want to be masculine I stay in DRAB. I just love being a girl.

Merry Christmas everybody. :wave:

Cathy

[cindybarnes]

Sophia,
I think more than a few of us with accepting wifes have had similar discussions.
I inserted my own foot into big mouth the other day when I made a remark to my wife about how sneaky GG's can be about certian things,,, she replied very quickly with "well you should know ! You study us enough "
And again last night I was struggling to open a new jar of something, and she said,, "you used to be able to do that ! "
Again foot into big mouth,,, I said well all 3 of us are getting old you me and Cindy
Was a quiet dinner :)

Cindy

[Sophia Rearen]

Wow, thanks for the ego rush girls.
Billiejo, I'm hot? wowie!
Sarahjan, thats funny. Short and sweet.
Cathy, femininty is the goal here. Doesn't mean my wife has to share that goal. While endrab are we less masculine?
Cindy, Ooops. Are we married to the same woman? Good comeback though.
Jesse, here you go. I hope there not too racey.

[Katie Gray]

I dont know. When dressed as a guy, I have a uprising shape, and stronger arms...

Yet as a lady it looks entirely different. So I would say 50/50. I enjoy both sides, not just one side hardcore.