Something I noticed today while out en femme

[GinaM]

I'm fairly new to going out en femme and I've been getting more and more confident. That said, when I'm out I typically only take short bursts from the car which typically consist of a quick trip in the mall (less than 10 minutes) etc. I've been working at presenting more naturally and when I was out today I noticed that some people def. look but it's more about curiosity than anything else. When you look back they quickly look away and when you smile they smile back. I was also walking towards some really sketchy looking dude and wasn't sure how he would respond. His response was at how lovely I looked and how I brightened up his day on such a dreary rainy day. Another gentleman in the mall commented that I had the prettiest shoes ever.

So, overall it was another great adventure. I can't wait until the fall when I'll be able to do this on a much more regular basis.

[Princess Grandpa]

Hug
Good times! I'm glad you get such positive interactions.
Rita

[Rogina B]

The more you do it and get used to what goes along with it,the more relaxed you will be. Look and act like you belong there,cause you do!

[NathalieX66]

What Rogina said......it's really true.

[CherylFlint]

Rogina B said it best.
Look like you belong (make an effort to pass) and stay safe.

[RenneB]

Way to go girl.... out and about is where it's at. Blending is one of the hardest things for me to accomplish for I too share a love of the high heel. I spent many a month going out and not making eye contact, now I make an effort to do so.... that is 'cept for those 20-somethin skinny GGs. They will rip you a new one if you don't pass "their standard". They'll inflict ridicule on anyone GG or CDr that doesn't make their grade.

But don't worry, it's pretty easy to steer clear of them. Oh and watch out for those 3 year olds. Their eyes will pierce right through you.... I just smile. In fact I do a little turn up of the grin whenever my eyes meet another person walking towards me. Most of the time, nothing as most people are just to darn busy with their lives that they don't have time to look at others... However, when I do smile, I usually get a smile back.

Every once in a while you'll get a GG conversation going.... like while looking through dresses, another will say, "hey this would look good on you hun".. love it when that happens...

Welcome to the day walkers club... it gets habit forming and pretty soon you'll just be out and about...having a blast and doing errands....

Thanks for sharing....

Renne.....

[TeresaCD]

Way to go, Gina! :)

[Beverley Sims]

The walks turn into hikes, the furtive glances turn into smiles and eye contact as for the CONFIDENCE. :)
Enjoy your journey.

[Claire Cook]

Gina, I'm sure that you will find it gets better and better.


The walks turn into hikes, the furtive glances turn into smiles and eye contact as for the CONFIDENCE. :)
Enjoy your journey.

What wonderful advice for all of us! I have certainly found this to be true.

[Chari]

Gina, Your confidence and comfort are expanding! Keep growing and enjoy.

[Kandy Barr]

Your story is encouraging Gina. I go shopping for women's clothes and makeup in drab with no problem, and am working on my look and confidence to start shopping enfem. Thanks for the encouragement.

[GinaM]

I've gone shopping a few times en femme but I was nervous as hell. haha I think as I've been toning down my look it is getting easier and easier. Now, I just need to make the time to get back out again.

[linda allen]

Gina, You didn't say anything about your "look". Were you wearing what appear to be platform heels as in your avatar photo or more moderate clothing and accessories?

I think the thing most of us need to do to "pass" is loose the heels and miniskirts.

[kimdl93]

Gina, it varies from day to day. Some days, it seems I just blend in, despite my height, and others, like this evening, I feel a bit more conspicuous and feel the eyes on me more often. In any case, I try to react as you've described. Most of the time people just smile back and since I don't believe in mind reading, I just let it go at that and enjoy my time out.

[5150 Girl]

I was also walking towards some really sketchy looking dude and wasn't sure how he would respond.
I've noticed that sometimes it is the scariest looking that are the quickest to compliment.

[Leah Lynn]

It won't be long and you'll be spending hours in the mall, window shopping downtown or whatever. Enjoy!

Leah

[GinaM]

You didn't say anything about your "look". Were you wearing what appear to be platform heels as in your avatar photo or more moderate clothing and accessories?

I think the thing most of us need to do to "pass" is loose the heels and miniskirts.

I was wearing heels but nothing with a platform. Just basic black pumps and a business skirt suit. It is a sexy/sophisticated look. :)

[AmyGaleRT]

Gina, that's about what I've noticed as well. I work on a look which doesn't look too "made up," and I go out with that look. Last time I went to Lane Bryant, I was enthusiastically greeted and told I look nice by one of the SAs, and I was accepted throughout as Amy. I try and maintain confidence in myself and my presentation, and it helps.

- Amy

[Eva Skarlatova]

The walks turn into hikes, the furtive glances turn into smiles and eye contact as for the CONFIDENCE. :)
Enjoy your journey.

It couldn't be said better! It make me smile and feel more confident waiting my "active" winter days! :)

[Maria S]

I know I could not wait until the autumn (fall) get ou there now whilst the sun shines.

Maria

[linda allen]

It's very hot around my area in the summer and it's very difficult to blend because if you wears long sleeved blouses and pantyhose or tights you are dressed inappropriately (and hot to boot) and if you wear what the GGs wear in hot weather, it's pretty obvious that you are a guy.

[DebbieL]

Here are a few tips I found are helpful when going out, especially during hot summer days.
Wear clothing that is age, season, and situation appropriate. This is a great time for summer dresses and shorts, with sandals or flip-flops. This is NOT a great time for pantyhose and full skirt suit unless you know you will be in a fully air conditioned environment for the entire time. Most companies now raise the temperature to help save money, this is especially true in public buildings like airports and malls. A woman's lightweight jacket might pass as well.

If you wear breast forms, go with a smaller size. A B-cup or C-Cup will not get the stares and scrutiny of D-cups, making it much easier to go unnoticed. The secret to passing is to blend. If you are too sexy or too beautiful, women will look harder for flaws and read you quickly, men will tend to stare and fantasize, but become much more vocal in their reactions when the realize you are male.

As much as possible, don't look directly at men or women. Women usually keep their heads pointed forward, in the direction they are walking, and look off to the sides to see who might be looking at them and how they are reacting.

If someone does look directly at you and smiles, tilt your head to one side (I usually tilt right) and smile. Men usually nod their heads which is essentially a bow. The tip to the side is a courtsey. Both genders usually have this ingrained at such a young age that it's completely involuntary, but when a girl "bows", it triggers an alert, especially in the person you are bowing to.

A quick smile and then looking forward is a nice way to react when others smile at you. Smiling and looking directly at them for more than a few seconds is interpreted by many men, especially alpha males, to be an invitation for more interaction.

The ultimate test is young children. I know I have succeeded when a young child tries to help me by directing me to the ladies room when I'm hesitating in front of the rest rooms. When a child refers to you as a lady or pretty lady, you know you've made it.

I have been amazed how the reactions of others have changed over time as well. There was once a time, 40 years ago, when even wearing male clothing that fit too well, or having hair that was too long could get you hoots and hollers of derision, especially with blue caller types, cowboys, and bikers.

30 years ago, you would get lots of rude giggles and howls from younger girls, and often young men would shout out "faggot" or "fairy", sometimes in a threatening way, but take little action.

In the past 5 years, even when I know I'm not passing, I get almost no reaction at all. If I'm fully decked out in my short skirt, hose, heels, and satin blouse, with full wig and D-cup forms, I will get noticed, read, and acknowledged, but I almost never get threatened or harassed. I think this may be a change in society's tolerance and acceptance of the entire LGBT community. I have also noticed that there are more MtF cross-dressers and transgenders in airports and shopping centers, especially in "Blue States" and larger cities.

Until 1984, I didn't know if there were ANY other people like me out there. I knew I was transsexual, that I wanted to be a girl, and felt that my body had been too messed up with male hormones to ever be able to pass. It was only when I started sharing about my own experiences in "Usenet Groups" that others like us started contacting me, and letting me know that I wasn't alone.

I'm so grateful that we have sites like this now, so that we can share our experience, strength, and hope, and help others avoid some of the mistakes we made in those early days.

[linda allen]

Here are a few tips I found are helpful when going out, especially during hot summer days.
Wear clothing that is age, season, and situation appropriate. This is a great time for summer dresses and shorts, with sandals or flip-flops. ....... .

I'll expand on what I posted above as a response. Summer dresses and shorts, with sandals or flip flops do not work well for many of us. If you don't shave your body, leg, and arm hair, they are a dead giveaway. Many of us have tougher or roughfer looking skin than females and showing it is another giveaway. Then there's the difference in the shape of the arms and legs with males usually having more muscle, females usually having more fat.

Women often pull their hair back in hot weather. This is difficult or impossible for those of us who must wear wigs.

If you don't paint your toenails, sandals or flip flops add another nail to the coffin, so to speak.

It's much easier to dress and pass when it's cool enough to cover most of the body with clothing.

[Briana90802]

I think that when a man compliments you on your shoes it's because he's a CDer too. I've thought many time about complimenting another CDer that she has nice shoes. I think it's like the universal greeting when two CDers meet. Kinda like Mason's secret hand handshake.