Mixed Feelings about an interaction.

[JackieInPA]

So was out shopping for Tomorrow's 4th festivities, en femme. Got to the beer store and an older gentleman was manning the counter. Selected my purchases and while looking to see if anything caught my eye the gentleman loaded my beer on a cart. Then i paid and he insisted on pushing the cart out to my car and loading it saying ," no ma'am i got this." Now I love the fact that i passed in a close personal interaction (since I am obviously old enough not to need ID check), but I felt kinda bad that a man20+ years my senior did my lifting for me...in a regular situation I would have been lifting for him.

Any other experiences like this? How did you handle it?

[Princess Grandpa]

Good stuff! If you feel bad, you can find solace in the fact he probably very much enjoyed helping the hottie to her car.

Hug
Rita

[Angela Campbell]

Such a nice gentleman, I hope you tipped him!

[Melissa Rose]

I have been offered help with lifting a heavy item such as a case of bottled water into a shopping cart or help finding something at Lowe's or Home Depot. You graciously accept the help if you would like it and give your thanks (obviously, unless there is something unsafe or unsavory about the situation). However, try not to read too much into an offer of help. It could be simple good customer service or common courtesy. Regardless, it is nice to receive.

On the other hand......I noticed I get more help at Home Depot then previously when I used to go in boy mode. I thought it was my imagination the first few times. Once I was trying to find a new drain stopper for my kitchen sink. I asked a sales associate in the plumbing area where they were located. He tried to help, but did not work in the plumbing department so he eventually called a plumbing specialist and they found what I needed and made sure it was the right one. As a guy, I rarely get that kind of help. All I have to do now is look a little puzzled and help is not too far away. I asked a friend who works at Home Depot and he stated women customers in the hardware departments tend to get more attention since it is more likely they need the help. Even more so if they are half way attractive. It is profiling, but it tends to be correct more times than wrong. The same thing often happens to me at Fry's Electronics.

[Stephanie Miller]

If you need to feel better about the interaction then maybe you should go back and ask him if he likes the job security a customer OF ANY AGE offers him - or if he would like unemployment better because you're able to handle it yourself? Hmmm.

[docrobbysherry]

I have no idea, Jackie. I'm older than everyone!

[Kate Simmons]

You don't handle it Hon, you just enjoy it.:)

[Claire Cook]

Any other experiences like this? How did you handle it?

Jackie, I think the first couple of times this happened to me I politely said "Thanks, I can manage" ... still not accepting that I was being treated as a woman. Now I'm happy to accept help. I think men like to help women, so if it makes them feel better to help me, why not? I turned 70 last week, so like Sherry it's not likely they will be older than me. Beside, it's nice to have a young man help you ... :battingeyelashes:


As a guy, I rarely get that kind of help. All I have to do now is look a little puzzled and help is not too far away.

Meiissa, I'm still learning to do this. It's like asking directions. I have to shed some of those male "I can do" traits and just enjoy behaving like -- and being treated like -- a woman.

Sherry, we just LOVE your avatar! Move over, RuPaul and Raquel Welsh!

[Raychel]

Certainly would not be a problem for me, As soon as they heard me talk, the secret would be out. :heehee:
But I guess if it happens to you, Then the best thing to do is let the gentleman help you. It make him feel good that
he was able to help you out. And nothing better then making someone feel good about themselves.

[Sabrina133]

Jackie, The gentleman was being polite, i think you should just enjoy b eing treated like a lady. Its no different than a man opening a door for you.

[mariehart]

I have no problem with being helped as a lady or a gentleman. In fact I seem to have acquired an air of helplessness over the years which people respond to. So I'm always being looked after. I don't worry about it for one simple reason. People like to help and they feel good about it. I like to help people too and if anything feel guilty I didn't do more!

[Beverley Sims]

It has happened to me,all you can do is go with the flow and dwell on the good times.

[linda allen]

Many stores require their employees to help or at least offer to help with loading purchases. It's part of their customer service effort to be better than the store down the street. There was noting unusual about this "incident".

[I Am Paula]

If you are out and about en femme, then act like a lady, and accept help where offered. The other day I was putting air in my tire, and a passerby offered to do it, so as not to dirty my hands. All I could do was stand back and let him soil his mitts. Then, there's ACTING helpless. All the farmers around me have blades on their pickups in winter. I put on my biggest boobs, and a cute pink wool hat, and stand on my driveway with a shovel until someone comes by and plows my driveway. It never takes more than about three passing pickups, with nice polite farm boys in them.

[Tracii G]

Lowes is a great store I've been there enfemme quite a bit.
Bought a few lighting fixtures and some small electrical items to go with the installation.It was a young lady working the dept that day and she was very knowledgeable and quite helpful.
She treated me respectfully called me ma'am a few times.She loaded up the flat cart and helped me load up my SUV.
I did give her a tip and she declined by saying no thank you ma'am no need.I insisted she take it and she said well thank you very much.
One trip there enfemme I had to return a product, so at the service counter I placed the product on the counter with my purse she was checking the item in and said I love your purse its really cute how many compartments in it? I showed her the insides and she said I soo need that that purse.
We got done with the transaction ans she said thank you ma'am have a great day and thank you for shopping at Lowes.

[Sheren Kelly]

Don't forget acting the part of the Gentleman (or Lady) is its own reward. He probably felt better about assisting a lady, than if you refused his gentlemanly help.

I believe we create the world we exist in. Being polite and respectful breeds the same in return. There are some who will never like or accept us, but that is their loss as they choose to live in a world of petty hate.

[Lorileah]

tempest -teapot

So many time we hear about how customer service has gone away. we hear how people get incensed when you hold the door open (or they don't which is usually my case). But when someone does something incredibly nice, you wonder? :facepalm: Really. He was doing a part of his job. It is called courtesy.

[Rogina B]

If you want confirmation,just go to the auto parts store! Windshield washer fluid,wipers,antifreeze and oil..they are "trained" to put it in for a woman as #1 They may not know where to put it! and #2,They may get dirty doing it! Go try it out if you can keep a straight face as you pop the hood on your "boyfriend's" 1 ton diesel truck!!

[Annaliese2010]

Not quite the same experience but in a way, related. I was shopping with a GG friend and we were confused as to where an item was in the store. I wasn't much of a help so she took control. Instead of having me follow her around like a lost puppy, she told me to just stand there and look pretty and would come back to get me. Which she did 5 minutes later.

A girl is a girl, you have to accept that about yourself IMHO. Experiences like the one you describe come with the territory. Don't let that small part in you that is boy get in the way or interfere with who you Really are. A girl. Amen

[JackieInPA]

Thanks for all the great replies!!! I think what kinda made me feel bad was mostly the age difference...he was at least 20 years older if not more. Had he been a younger man i dont think i would have had a problem with it.

[Tracii G]

Maybe he enjoyed getting out of the store for a while and is happy to actually have a job.

[Leona]

If you want confirmation,just go to the auto parts store! Windshield washer fluid,wipers,antifreeze and oil..they are "trained" to put it in for a woman as #1 They may not know where to put it! and #2,They may get dirty doing it! Go try it out if you can keep a straight face as you pop the hood on your "boyfriend's" 1 ton diesel truck!!

You think I should try that? I'm an automotive tech, after all.... ;)

[AmyGaleRT]

Jackie, if he wasn't OK with helping you out, he wouldn't have done it. This is one of those examples of "Gender Hath Its Privileges." Don't fight it, don't feel bad about it, just enjoy it! :)

- Amy

[Ressie]

If you want confirmation,just go to the auto parts store! Windshield washer fluid,wipers,antifreeze and oil..they are "trained" to put it in for a woman as #1 They may not know where to put it! and #2,They may get dirty doing it! Go try it out if you can keep a straight face as you pop the hood on your "boyfriend's" 1 ton diesel truck!!

That's nothin'. I went into AutoZone (male mode) because I couldn't figure out how to install the windshield wiper I bought. The lady working there came out and installed it for me. She just snapped it on and I felt like an idiot. On top of that, I didn't even by the wiper there.

[Leona]

Wipers are insanely easy....once you've done a couple of them. I couldn't figure them out either when I was at the lube shop (circa 1998) and one of the older techs showed me, the whole time telling me I was an idiot.

I find Autozone has excellent customer service. They have to, they somehow have to make up for the crap they try to pass off as auto parts. :heehee:

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I have had similar experiences and I just continued to play my role of a woman and thanked the people involved for their kindness.