I need to vent.....

[Emi]

It is so frustrating trying to repress who you are. Things got busy and I could push the urge away for the last few months because I would not have time to dress at all anyway. I don't have much for myself due to the purges that we all go through so most times I grab something of my wifes quick. Well sometime in the last week the fog hit me like a wall. My nails have grown pretty long and I had the chance to paint my nails for about a half hour yesterday but had to take it off out of fear that someone would stop by. I am closeted, I am 50/50 on how accepting my wife would be. I have worn her panties out on one occasion with her knowing and she is aware that I prefer feminine clothing over the baggy stiff stuff we are normally wearing. I started to try and tell her one night that I preferred panties and was going to spill it all but backed out because the vibe was unstable. I think I could be on a more even keel if I had her support, it is just hard. I do it for the kids because they are the biggest responsibility. Thanks for listening.

Emi

[meganmartin]

Emi,

Although my wife found out about 6 years ago it has been great to share it with the one I love. It still is a struggle because her knowing ads other fears such as am i doing it too much or making her uncomfortable is she not being honest etc.

My biggest regret is not telling her sooner think it would have made a difference in our relationship.

At somepoint you will need to tell her.

[TeresaCD]

Always tough.
You keep it from them to protect them, I suspect myself it creates another issue, as I'm sure in their heart of hearts something is up.
Careful using her stuff to - that will add insult to injury should you be caught out.
And telling her is better than her finding out, believe me

[VAWyman]

Hi Emi. All I can say is to be careful how you tell your wife. Once you have opened yourself up to sharing that secret, you can never get it back. Im not saying DON'T do it, just be careful how you do. Your wife may be reluctantly accepting, but full blown CD may push her over the edge.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Emi

Read the link in my signature it might help when you get around to telling her

[Emi]

I know, there are days I think it would be o.k. and days I just don't know. I cannot see going full cd but you just cannot predict. Srangely for the last year or so all I want is a pair of heels. I just don't have a good way to get them.

[kimdl93]

Emi, the repressed feelings can boil out in other ways, and over time your secret may come out by accident...which is usually worse than being honest. So start preparing to make a thoughtful, well planned coming out to your wife. Of course you are in the best position to gauge her attitudes and the strength of your relationship. And she may surprise you...in either a good or bad way. But I think the outcome will depend largely on your ability to reassure her that you are totally committed to her above all else.

[Stevie]

Trust your instincts. I thought I can make it though the summer without dressing. I was wrong. I do not know your situation but I had a bad vibe about telling my wife and was correct about my assumption. It is very difficult not to be able to share my feelings with anyone. Telling her is a very big step and should be researched before letting her know.

[Emi]

I agree, with everyone. It is very hard because I am the textbook CD'r. In my 30's now but started somewhere around 7-8, not really sure why. Hit puberty and discovered girls and the urge subsided but never really went away. Met my wife and finally thought I have found freedom, you can not believe the feeling of knowing you were meant to meet. We have been together over 12 years now and have two children. I feel it is my duty and commitment to selflessly suffer to not risk potentially relasionship altering events for the sake of my children, they dont have a dog in this fight between myself and I.

[Gerrijerry]

You are correct to vent. It can make a person crazy with what they can do and can't do. everyone has what they think is the correct answer but know one else can change and solve this only you can. If you don't it can eat you up inside and cause effects to your life much worse then being a cross dresser. You should consider seeing counselor.

[Emi]

Hi Emi

Read the link in my signature it might help when you get around to telling her

Thanks Shelly, I have read that and a lot of the other stories on here. I appreciate the support.....too bad it can't come from a bra right now though......LOL

[Jenniferathome]

You wife suspects that you are a cross dresser. No wife will think that her husband likes to wear panties and NOT suspect more. Come clean, end the hiding. By the way, she probably also suspects/fears that you might be gay or want to transition and doesn't want to ask for fear of the wrong answer. You can ally her fears as well by explaining about you.

[Emi]

One question she asked when I started to try and tell her was if I was gay, I assured her I was not and I am sure she is happy with that reassurance.

[Stephanie47]

If you started the conversation and got to the point of saying you are not gay, then I suspect she knows of your desires. There are always clues. She may know you wear her clothing on occasion. The fact that she has not already 'confronted' you would suggest she may not be hostile to your wearing feminine underwear. Wearing panties is a long way from strutting around in a dress, heels and a wig. You may want to finish that conversation.

[Emi]

Thats the conundrum. Sometimes I think this would fly and others I feel very insecure. My wife is a very matter of fact type of person and does not dwell or let her mind wander. She is a hard worker who sets her mind and does. Sometimes I feel more attentive to feelings and almost as feminine as her and I think she recognizes it too. We are really almost equal which is fine with both of us. I get depressed when I am stressed and that is hard for her to work through but she does.

[Beverley Sims]

Emi,
It is okay to vent and illicit opinions about your problems, but you do have to consider making a move sometime.

[Emi]

I know Beverly but I at least feel a little better coming back and talking