What's the difference?

[Kate Simmons]

Many here will say and I have said in the past that when en femme I am the same person I always am but I'm re-thinking that idea. If we are the same person en femme as we are en homme, why bother dressing at all? Why no just dress as a guy? There has to be some kind of "pay off", otherwise why would we bother going through all that we go through (difficulty and sometimes pain) to present as a woman? For myself, I believe the "pay off" is the ability to move around more freely and be able to express my "softer" feelings without getting looked at cross eyed by others, in effect giving me the "license" to express myself in a feminine way and the dressing is a vehicle to accomplish that.

Of course we can go on and on discussing our motivations when the main idea should be to simply enjoy doing it and being ourselves. In my own case I have learned to be in touch with my feelings in either mode, so expressing myself by dressing is a nice to have. In fact, I can "get away" with more on the dance floor en femme.

So, what seems to be the difference with everyone else as to why you continue to do it?:)

[kimdl93]

Interesting observation. I have also often said I'm the same person, regardless of how I'm dressed. For me, the payoff is in feeling that my appearance is in closer conformance with the way I feel about myself. I can say I am less inhibited about expressing my feminine side, but I still can't dance!

[linda allen]

I used to think I felt differently when dressed, but after a while it became normal to be dressed, have boobs, hips, long hair, etc. so I don't feel any differently dressed as a woman than I do dressed as a man.

[Emi]

For me it is a nearly uncontrolable persona, I seem to express a softer side already anyway. Emi is here and will not leave.

[Khaleesi81]

Interesting thread!
I'm the same personality, but like playing with female aesthetics! I'm just starting out in this really though so it's hard to say.
My gf says that I'm more gentle and tactile in girl mode though.

[Jana]

I feel life played this prank on me by giving me a body that doesn't quite match the mind. So, although I'm the same person, being en femme gives me the opportunity of feeling whole, even if only for an ephemeral moment.

[Nikki A.]

I think I've reached a point in that I act the same dressed or not. However I think I go through the effort of dressing in order to acknowledge to myself and the world that this is a part of who I am.
Also its just feels good and it offers so much more variety.

[Princess Grandpa]

I love thought provoking questions. As I'm just getting to know Rita its hard to say if I will have a different personality or different tastes when in femme compared to en homme. I know I have seen definite changes in general in myself since freeing her.

Truth be told I am rarely completely male anymore. My toes are always pretty. I wear panties exclusively. Only twice have I been completely made up.

Hug
Rita

[Kate Simmons]

So, what I'm seeing is that the female affectations such as hair, clothes, makeup, etc. do make a difference and that is part of the "pay off" from dressing en femme.:battingeyelashes::)

[suchacutie]

Well, I'm definitely NOT the same person. My wife proved that to me one day after we had just been discussing a whole range of topics as she deliberately garnered my opinions when I was my masculine self. A couple of hours later Tina had arrived and my wife started in on the same conversations. After a few minutes Tina mentioned that this was the same conversation that had been accomplished a few hours ago. My wife responded that she wanted to see how I/we would see these issues from the feminine perspective. Amazingly enough, some issues did not generate the same response. Both of us were surprised, but that started a whole series of thoughts about the differences between my gendered selves.

The result was fascinating: It turns out that the "male" I had been for decades was really a composite of masculine and feminine characteristics, or stated more specifically, characteristics that predominate in either my masculine or feminine presentation. When I'm presenting as my masculine self, we will comment upon how Tina would handle a certain situation, or we might say, "where is Tina when we need her" when something that Tina does especially well (or just naturally) would be nice to have available.

So, it would be safe to say that before we knew about Tina, I was a composite, where now we know who is whom! :)

P.S. I think that the 'trappings' of presenting my feminine self are just a part of the self-consistency of being Tina, just like the masculine 'trappings' are self-consistant with the "him" part of me. "Presenting" with the physical and mental characteristics help to keep everything separated. We've developed a "ritual" around that transition from one gender to the other so there is a limited time of gender confusion :)

[Kate Simmons]

As my GF has observed previously, things change dramatically for me once I put the wig on, sometimes almost like throwing a switch. I can have male and female characteristics as Rich but this seems to make the feminine side "official".:)

[Debra Russell]

The pay off is that dressing just puts me closer to who I am ------ and peace of mind................Debra

[Lorileah]

As my GF has observed previously, things change dramatically for me once I put the wig on, sometimes almost like throwing a switch. I can have male and female characteristics as Rich but this seems to make the feminine side "official".:)

It may not be that dramatic but the wig does finish the transformation. I don't intend to be different but people who know me say I am and that is good enough for me. I am more gregarious, friendly, smile a lot, more affectionate and in general more happy and relaxed. But I know I am the same person.

[Alice Torn]

Kate, I cannot imagine much, how it must feel like to be on a dance floor all dolled up! That must be very different from the drab dancing i have done, where i almost have to grab women to dance with me. To be the lady being asked must be quite an experience!

[Joanne f]

Good question, If you are the same person why bother. it is all to do with expression, everyone likes to or needs to express certain feelings , anger, joy, love, hate happiness, sadness and dressing is just a way of expressing your feminine feelings , I am sure that although GGs are feminine all of the time dressing up helps to make them feel feminine after they have been doing the house work, job, DIY or looking after the children or anything that is more comfortable being dressed down , although you are the same person a good dress up will make you feel good so that is a good enough reason to bother. ( Apart from that you are just driven to it because you have to ):heehee:

[Beverley Sims]

I think you answered your own question for the rest of us Kate.

[Karren H]

Why bother dressing at all?..... When you really have no choice in the matter..... not dressing isn't a viable option..... no matter what the difference is....

[iGenny]

When I first started, I thought that I should be a different person. That went away pretty quickly as I realized I'm just me.

[Angela Campbell]

When I am dressed as a girl I am me. When I'm not....I'm not.

[stephNE]

I am not the same when dressed. I am not a totally different person either, but there are differences. As a woman, I am much more relaxed, comfortable, and almost worry free. I have different worries, like getting caught, car trouble, etc. But a lot of the concerns from dudemode are gone.

[MonctonGirl]

Well - I am the same person when I wear Jeans & T-Shirt but my behavior ( the way I stand, sit, even speak - where I'd eat, etc ) are different when I wear a suit or...a tuxedo.

When I wear panties ... way different!

[Dana L]

I'm not a different person when dressed, I'm me. When I'm in male mode, I'm like me only handcuffed gagged and shoved in a box just acting how society expects me to be and building up stress.

[Carrie R]

I feel like the same person no matter how I'm dressed. However, everyone else treats me very differently.

[Jenniferathome]

my brain doesn't change when I put on a dress. the "payoff" is a very different looking person, a very different feeling in the very different clothes, the transformation itself is fun/interesting/different.

The only difference in my personality is when I drive. When in girl mode, I don't care if I get somewhere fast. The reason is that I am dressed and being dressed is a good feeling.

[Tina B.]

Why bother dressing at all?..... When you really have no choice in the matter..... not dressing isn't a viable option..... no matter what the difference is....

As always when it comes to this subject, Karren sums it up for best! As for difference, I like, the old Penny's ad, I have found my softer side! Other than that, I don't see that much difference.
But I don't come off that macho, or that feminine most of the time.

[Jamiegirl1]

Great thread,I think I dress,wear makeup and wig to look more of how I feel.....I feel prettier and act more fem when dressed fem....I also love the feeling of the clothes,much softer,love the feel of a dress with my bare legs....just alot of reasons.......

[Kaz]

Sounds like the same old, but yes I used to kid myself that I was the same and that I had internalised myself. I have had an amazing opportunity the last couple of weeks to be dressed as Kaz 80% of the time.... and it is different. As Lori has said the wig makes a massive difference...

[Farrah]

In the past, Farrah her own persona/personality. She almost took over and became my primary personality. I am somewhat the same person. My actions are different when dressed. I think I have the same views. You know that really gives me something to think about.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I'm not a psychologist, and I don't want to sound like I am schizophrenic, but I do feel that there are some differences between 'me' and the guy who lives here. But I have noticed that some of 'me' is rubbing off on the big guy :) "He" doesn't seem as judgemental about others, and has also become a bit more empathic and compassionate about people. Not that he was an ogre to begin with, but he tried very hard to fit the image that society says he must. And it was, and is, very frustrating for him that he doesn't quite fit the mold.

[daviolin]

Well Kate, its like this. I LOVE THE WAY THE CLOTHES FEEL ON ME. Always have and always will. Daviolin

[sometimes_miss]

If we are the same person en femme as we are en homme, why bother dressing at all? Why no just dress as a guy? There has to be some kind of "pay off", otherwise why would we bother going through all that we go through (difficulty and sometimes pain) to present as a woman?)
Dressing as something we are not can be either one of two things; 1. We are declaring to others that we are not what they initially knew us to be, or 2. perhaps we are using the clothes, wig, make up, jewelry, shoes, etc., to reinforce to ourselves that we are female and not male. In my case, I used all the feminine things, clothes, hairstyle (and when the hair went away, a wig), nail polish, some stereotypical female behaviors, to 'feel' like the girl that I thought I was, in order to solve the incongruence of feeling like I was a girl, while seeing and experiencing everything male, which caused stress in and of itself.
My own opinion of those who talk of their 'female side' is that they feel they must distance anything female from their 'but I'm still really a man' declaration, because of all the shame and disapproval from society drummed into us when we are growing up about being feminine in any way; think about it, as a little boy, we grew up being constantly reminded that being a sissy is the absolutely worst thing a little boy can ever be. Is there any wonder at all that we see such a huge number of crossdressers insisiting that it's not really a part of who they really are?