can't bring myself to purge

[JuliaC]

I really want to purge and be done with crossdressing but I can't bring myself to throw away the little I have. I need to be done with this fetish!

[Farrah]

Don't do it!!...I did it 5 years ago and I'm still regretting!!...I repeat, don't do it!

[Kandy Barr]

Rule #1 Don't ever purge
Rule #2 Don't forget rule # 1

Proofs in the pudding Julia, many have tried including myself only to wind up having to buy it all over again. On the other hand you say you don't have very much, so you haven't much to replace. Try it, perhaps it will be different for you!lol

[2B Natasha]

First. It's not a fetish. I don't care what some in this group say.
Second. You'll never be done. Well unless you get a frontal loabotomy.
Third. Don't throw it away. Give it to charity. Like an organization that helps battered women.

So now that we have established what you should do with it all.
Go get a couple of bags. Preferably plastic clothing store bags. Pack all of your clothing in to one. Any makeup, underwear, cosmetics and the like in the other. Make sure you got it all. Now google charities in your area that help women. Find a drop spot for them. Take those two bags and put them in your car. Take one to a random dumpster and toss in. Take the other with clothing in it and donate. Now. Go home. Find all of your pictures on your phone, camera, memory stick and computer. Trash them all. Now permanently delete all of them so they are irretrievable. Sit back and relax and be done with it all.

That first item in the bag is the worst. But after each item it will get easier.

Hope that helps

Cheers!

[kimdl93]

Julia, you've been writing a series of posts that all focus on how much you wish you weren't a cross dresser..lamenting about problems it might create in your life, of how you might be rejected by some future girlfriend, and how it might be a substitute for a real relationship. Now your complaining that you want to purge but cant...for some inexplicable reason.

Perhaps you should spend your time doing something other than worrying about what might or might not be. So go ahead and purge...all of us have done it lots of times. And go ahead and quit dressing forevermore. Many of us have...and you might succeed, but for Heavens sake, quit complaining and do something.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I second Kim's post, but want to add something. Perhaps you should examine and reflect on what it is you really want to do. Maybe a counselor might help, but if you keep torturing yourself, you will not be doing yourself any good.

Make a choice, stick with it, and remember that you can always change your mind later on.

Best of luck.

Jodie-Lynn

[RenneB]

I'm with the others.... been doin this since age 5 almost half a century ago... I can't change the way I was born. Sure I wish I was totally one sex or the other as this half of one and six of another sure plays heck on the ol' brain. If you do purge, give it to a thrift store so someone else can have a shot at it.

Second, know that this doesn't go away.. oh you can suppress it for a while sometimes for long times (I once went 16 years) but it'll come back. Stick around, we sure will have some things to chat about....

Renne.....

[Stephanie47]

Kim noticed, as well as I, that you have made several comments concerning your dislike for cross dressing. At 19 that may be a common feeling. I felt that way back in the 1960's. I thought wearing my mother's clothing meant I was gay which was really considered to be deviant behavior back then. I got sexual gratification out of it when I did cross dress. It all lead to self loathing and self hatred. A very confusing time for me. I did all the normal guy things too. I couldn't figure it out. I still can't.

If you feel the need to purge what little you do have, then do it. But, if the urge returns, do buy something to make you feel secure. Kind of like Linus and his blanket. Maybe a pair of lacy sexy panties will give you some comfort. As a college student, immerse yourself in studies and activities.

In all probability the urge will return. Don't beat yourself to death over it. Moderation. And, if you feel negativity overtaking you, seek counseling.

[Robin777]

Just take everything you have and put it away in a storage container and put it someplace that isn't easy to get to. Tape it shut if you want to make it hard to get into. When you decide one way or another what you want to do with your life, Stopping dressing forever or learning to live with your feminine side you still have your things. If you decide to quit altogether you can just take your collection and give it to a Goodwill. I did that once and found out I could not get along with myself not dressing.

[Deedee Skyblue]

It seems like everyone knows that no matter what you do, Julia, you're doomed forever. It isn't a fetish, it's in your genes and there is no way to escape it, so you might as well just relax and enjoy it.

You do what you want, or what you need to do, and don't worry about what everyone else says.

Deedee

[Brooklyn]

What size are you, and do you have anything from Caché? Seriously, you're going to be happier if you just accept yourself for the way you are. Maybe your head is swimming in shame right now, but trying to deny this part of you can cause you far more unhappiness in the long run.

[AmyGaleRT]

Julia, I'm of the firm opinion that, once the CD bug gets into your veins, the only thing that will get it out again is embalming fluid. :) You can think of it as a "fetish" if you like; I'd prefer to think of it as a gift. You have been given the ability to appreciate that which most males would shy away from, and you identify closely enough with it that you have a femme name. Nurture that feeling, let it blossom, and it may lead you to a world of new experiences, seeing life through the eyes of a woman. There's no need to fight it, and embracing it is a lot more fun in the long run!

- Amy

[betty1253]

Second. You'll never be done. Well unless you get a frontal loabotomy.


That is so true and so funny.

[sarahcsc]

Perhaps purging would be a good idea if you keep thinking about it. Sometimes, we have to do something to find out how it feels. Just talking about it isn't enough...

[Jenniferathome]

Is it just a fetish for you? Quitting should be easy. IF you are a cross dresser, born with it, so to put it, quoting is possible but the urge will never go away. If cross dressing is adversely affecting your life, you need to examine why. What changes can you make and make your life whole. I wonder if you are using cross dressing as the excuse for any issues you may have as opposed to looking at your life holistically. We all have a millions facets that make up our lives. Cross dressing is only one.

[joanna4]

A fetish is permanent. It's the gift of life, every fetish is specific and brings you the pleasure you desire. Please keep it and embrace it. Enjoy.

[ninadiva]

I purged once and went a decade without. I so wish I could get all that pretty stuff back. Most of it is back in fashion. Purging is bad. Don't do it.

[linda allen]

I really want to purge and be done with crossdressing but I can't bring myself to throw away the little I have. I need to be done with this fetish!

If you want to stop crossdressing, a crossdressing forum is not a good place to het help doing it. OK, it's a very bad place to get help. People here are crossdressers so they are not really motivated to help you quit. Some will tell you it can't be done.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Crossdressing is something you have control over. You get up in the morning and make a choice - shirt and slacks or blouse and skirt. It is you, nobody else who makes that choice. If you want to quit, chose the shirt and slacks!

If you need help, get professional help and stay away from crossdressing forums just like a recovering alcoholic would stay away from bars.

[Lynn Marie]

You've started 18 threads in less than a month and they pretty much sound like one continuous extended rant! By all means quit, get it over with, get a new hobby. Model electric helicopters are real popular these days and are guaranteed to keep you busy and broke!

[Gerrijerry]

stop playing the complaining game. Purge if you want. stop if you want. Those that are here are not counselors we try to help those who want and need what little we know about ourselves.

[Kaz]

I have purged many times.... hehe!

Then I decided that was stupid because this always come back. A fetish? More way of life I think.... either accept it and have fun or purge and wait to have to rebuild your wardrobe!

My wardrobe is now somewhat overflowing!

Love Kaz xx

[Tina B.]

Go on, purge, throw it all away, if it's just a fetish, put your mind to it, and stop! But if you find stopping is beyond you, then it's not just a fetish, it's deeper in you than that.
Either way, purge, give it up, and see what happens, and get away from here if you really want to quit, you won't find much encouragement for that , not here.
If it doesn't work for you, you haven't lost much, you say you don't have that much yet, so go on and try, after all if it doesn't stick, shopping is a lot of fun!
But if you start up again, we will always be out here and you will always be welcomed back!

[daviolin]

Don't do it. Unless its a matter of life or death. In a marriage that is. But if you do. Theres more pretty things right around the corner. Daviolin

[Princess Grandpa]

Go on, purge, throw it all away, if it's just a fetish, put your mind to it, and stop! But if you find stopping is beyond you, then it's not just a fetish, it's deeper in you than that.
Either way, purge, give it up, and see what happens, and get away from here if you really want to quit, you won't find much encouragement for that , not here.
If it doesn't work for you, you haven't lost much, you say you don't have that much yet, so go on and try, after all if it doesn't stick, shopping is a lot of fun!
But if you start up again, we will always be out here and you will always be welcomed back!

She's a smart lady! Listen to her!
Hug
Rita

[Cheryl T]

This is no fetish, as others have said.
I began when I was about 6 or so and purged many times over the decades that it took me to realize that this is who I am. This is not "something I do", it is part of what makes me who I am. Every purge was followed by a few days of relief and convincing myself that it was over, that I had no need for this, that I'll be better off now. Maybe a few weeks, sometimes a few months, once even a year or so...then WHAM! ... well, maybe just a pair of pantyhose...gosh they feel so good maybe I'll just buy a pair of panties. Then I needed a bra, a skirt, a blouse, some shoes and there it was...I was back where I started...and I was happy again!!
Then it would start again, the self-doubt, the guilt, the hiding and sneaking and another purge. Of course this was followed by another buying spurt and so on till the day I accepted myself for who I am. Since then I have had no pangs of doubt, no desire to purge. Yes, I've donated some clothing I didn't wear any longer, but not because I resented who I was.
Now I'm at peace and truly believe that this is genetic. It's not something we learn, it's not a "hobby", this is part of us and that's why we all feel so comfortable when we dress.

Purge if you feel the need, but if you are like the multitudes (and you probably are) you will be back. You can only deny the Self for so long.

[Marcia Blue]

I say, if you must purge, send everything to me. I would hate to see it all, end in the trash.

[Jamiegirl1]

like others said,this is not a fetish....it will not go away....if you purge,you will be sorry and have to go buy new stuff all over again and be sorry for throwing out things you really liked and cannot replace..I have purged a couple of times and was sorry each time..Ihave not purged in over ten years and will not again.....the feeling gets stronger and stronger the older you get,please just learn to accept the need to crossdress and you will find some peace with yourself...it is very confusing,no one knows why we want to dress..it is just who we are..................

[pedalpusher]

like others said,this is not a fetish....it will not go away....if you purge,you will be sorry and have to go buy new stuff all over again and be sorry for throwing out things you really liked and cannot replace..I have purged a couple of times and was sorry each time..Ihave not purged in over ten years and will not again.....the feeling gets stronger and stronger the older you get,please just learn to accept the need to crossdress and you will find some peace with yourself...it is very confusing,no one knows why we want to dress..it is just who we are..................

Could not have said it better! Well put, agree 100% Luv ya ladies

[Beverley Sims]

It appears there is an over riding majority encouraging you not to purge.
They seem like sympathizers.
There are some stick in the muds here that say "PURGE, PURGE".
They are also less sympathetic towards you.
Read all the answers carefully and make your own decision.
If you make the wrong decision after reading "ALL" the answers, I won't have any sympathy for you either.
My advice is put it all in a plastic bag with some moth balls and hide it in the loft.
When you have decided on a course of action you can always revise your decision.

[Angelofsomekind]

I didn't read through all the posts, don't have the time right now. But If you really want to stop, don't purge! If you get rid of all the clothes you have then you haven't stopped because you want to. You stopped because you don't have access to clothes. In the future if you do have access to them again then there is a good chance you will go back. If you can get rid of the urge to dress and still have all the clothes around, that's when you know your done with it.
I've never purged because I thought about it this way. In the long run though, it's part of who I am, I can't get rid of it anymore than I can change my hair color. Sure I can dye it and it will be different at first, but it always grows back the same color. Ok there are some more grays in it now than there used to be but it's mostly the same!

Also, if you do purge, please don't throw it away, donate it. Just put it in a bag and drop it off at a good will or something like that.