Keeping my stuff at a friends house

[sophia7]

Hi everyone, first post on here but have spent many hours reading other threads.

My wife doesn't know I crossdress, I think she would take it very badly. I have three GG friends who know, all have either bought me or lent me their clothes or shoes.

I'm starting to worry about my hidden stuff in the event I died before I got rid off it. How does everyone else cope with this?

I asked on GG friend if I could keep my stuff at her house, she said yes no problem, I'm just fearing not having my favourite shoes in the house all the time!

[Cheryl T]

Well, if I happened to die suddenly and at the same time as my wife who is knowing and supportive, and others found my things I think that the ones in my will will soon forget the former and remember only the latter and those that aren't ... well the heck with them.

Someone once asked me what I'd do with their things if they died...
My reply was, "what do you care, you'll be dead".

[sophia7]

If we died at the same time it wouldn't matter, but I'm worried if I went first. My brother in law and older cousin both died before they were 40 so it's got me a bit paranoid.

I wonder if my GG friend would lend me her house so I could CD round there in safety!? :-D

[Jodie_Lynn]

Welcome Sofia!

In answer to your post, I think that if your wife discovers your secret, she will be madder to find out that three other women know about it before she did!

[Leah Lynn]

I'm a widower, and when I go, the family will find a couple closets full of female clothing, two bureaus full of undergarments and bling, and a shelf of wigs. The bottoms of the closets are covered with shoes.

Perhaps I should put in my will that I want all this to go to a thrift shop that caters to us girls.

Leah

[giuseppina]

If we died at the same time it wouldn't matter, but I'm worried if I went first. My brother in law and older cousin both died before they were 40 so it's got me a bit paranoid.

I saw a specialist about some chest pains I was having. This is the second time in the last 5 or 6 years that this has happened. Both times a cardiac stress test found nothing worth worrying about. The cardiologist also said medical problems with genetic (not adopted) siblings and parents is more important than your cousin and grandparents. While sad, your BIL's early passing is not a predictor of future medical problems for you.



I wonder if my GG friend would lend me her house so I could CD round there in safety!? :-D

I agree with Jodie_Lynn. You're asking for trouble big-time with this one. One of the things you leave yourself open to is an accusation of cheating. I'd like to think you don't want to leave that impression.

It may be a good idea to see how your wife reacts to questions about alternative lifestyles. There are programs on TV from a variety of sources that discuss us. Some are better than others, so it would be a good idea to record a show for vetting purposes before you show it to your wife. Sometimes, our fears are magnified and not based on reality.

[xdressed]

Welcome Sofia!

In answer to your post, I think that if your wife discovers your secret, she will be madder to find out that three other women know about it before she did!

I think this is a much bigger problem than the unlikely event of sudden death.

On a similar note, dying isn't really a problem where crossdressing is concerned. Either you end up in paradise, where it's hardly going to be a problem, in hell, where you have bigger problems, or if you're atheist like me then you believe you don't go anywhere, in which case it's still not a problem as far as you're concerned.

[Ellie52]

My wife says when I die she is going to bury me in a ballgown,wig and full makeup so at least I can enjoy myself without having to worry anyone is going to come knocking on my door...

[kimdl93]

Welcome. now directly to the point. The problem is what will you do when your wife catches you, or worse, finds that you've confided in other women but not her?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sophia, It sounds like you are traveling on a slippery slope and it's probably not going to end very well.

[danielle swenson]

My wife doesn't know I crossdress, I think she would take it very badly. I have three GG friends who know, all have either bought me or lent me their clothes or shoes.

I'm starting to worry about my hidden stuff in the event I died before I got rid off it. How does everyone else cope with this?


Here's a dose of reality,
U will wish u were dead after your soon 2 be x wife's lawyer gets done with u! I feel really sad if u have kids 'cause their the ones who will suffer most! I guess you would call that leading by example or good role model?

Cope?? Really??? Start with not lying and being Deceitful to the one who is supposed to be your soulmate!
Apparently u were not present @ the wedding ceremony during the exchange of vows...Missed the part 'bout love,. cherish, honor???? Y not take sometime and learn the actual meaning of those words u threw out so effortlessly, then if your still not gonna tell your wife @ least have the decency to leave her. Or are you actually that narcissistic?

[Jodie_Lynn]

:eek: Wow. Harsh much?

[MysticLady]

My wife doesn't know I crossdress, I think she would take it very badly. I have three GG friends who know, all have either bought me or lent me their clothes or shoes.


Hi Sofia............:straightface:. To me, this is not good. 3 GG's know this about you and your wife doesn't. I hope she never finds out about this. You may as well hang it up if she ever does. Your crossdressing issues will be nothing compared to the trust issues w/ the wife. My suggestion is too disengage yourself from the other GG's ASAP. Once you confess to your wife about the CDing, then tell her about the GG's stashing your stuff. I guarantee you, it will save you a unbelievable emotional nightmare.

[heatherdress]

I agree with Xdressed. You should be more worried about your wife discovering your CDing while you are alive - unless you tell her.

[Lynn Marie]

I've had closet dressers ask for me to help them order online, store their stash, etc. To me that feels like I'm the other woman helping them to deceive their wives! What a nasty position to be in. I just won't do it.

[Kalista Jameson]

In addition to everything else the others have said...

If your wife found clothing belonging to three other women you and perhaps she knows, there could be a whole 'nother can of worms opened there. To quote Ricky Ricardo, "Lucy, you got some 'splainin to do."

But, if they are at a friends place you are probably safe on that one.

Cheers,

Kalista

[stefan37]

While much of the advice seems harsh. It is true. I am an advocate of compete disclosure. The trust issues that evolve are usually more difficult to overcome than the xdressing would cause.

[Chickhe]

Don't weave a tangled web and you will be fine. If there are other woman that know, who you still interact with, you better fill your wife in on it.

[Beverley Sims]

It is nice having a few confidantes in your life, but it is a way of creating trouble and mistrust.
The prime confidante in your life should be your wife.
That is a good slogan to go by, and you should try to practice it.
Confide in your wife. :)
Think about it.

[ErinP]

I agree with this. This is bigger than the CDing!

[Lacyfem]

Just keep your things at your friends house and don't worry about it. Then enjoy when you can and if you choose to share it with your wife at some time in the future do so but that's your decision so do what you wish and don't feel guilty as some are telling you to be for not telling her.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Judging from the number of folk who have stated that their wives were more upset by the deception on these forums, I have to disagree with your suggestion Lacyfem. If Sophia keeps up the charade, with the help of GG friends, she is going to be opening two very messy cans of worms. Just my opinion, of course, but I really do not see this ending well.

Even without the CD-ing aspect, keeping secrets from your mate with outsiders...? No Bueno.

[Jorja]

Sophia sweetie, you are writing checks that your a$$ can't cover. Then again...... maybe your wife will pimp you out after she finds out. You really need to tell her and soon!

[MysticLady]

Then again...... maybe your wife will pimp you out after she finds out. You really need to tell her and soon!

:heehee:....That's Funny.

[sophia7]

Here's a dose of reality,
U will wish u were dead after your soon 2 be x wife's lawyer gets done with u! I feel really sad if u have kids 'cause their the ones who will suffer most! I guess you would call that leading by example or good role model?

Cope?? Really??? Start with not lying and being Deceitful to the one who is supposed to be your soulmate!
Apparently u were not present @ the wedding ceremony during the exchange of vows...Missed the part 'bout love,. cherish, honor???? Y not take sometime and learn the actual meaning of those words u threw out so effortlessly, then if your still not gonna tell your wife @ least have the decency to leave her. Or are you actually that narcissistic?

Wow, you must get altitude sickness from being so high up on that horse!

I don't have children.
I have known my GG friends from before I met my wife.
I haven't told my wife because she's already made it clear she is intolerant of CDs/TVs.
I love my wife, I will never cheat on her, I provide everything I can for her.
I want to occasionally, a few times a year, satisfy my CD desire when she is away for a week and want to store my things outside my home so there is no risk of her ever finding out.

I'm sorry if you think that means I should ruin her life by either telling her or leaving her.

[sophia7]

It is nice having a few confidantes in your life, but it is a way of creating trouble and mistrust.
The prime confidante in your life should be your wife.
That is a good slogan to go by, and you should try to practice it.
Confide in your wife. :)
Think about it.

I wish I could and my GG friends have always said the same to me, but I know she won't be able to deal with it & can't put her through it.

[sophia7]

Just keep your things at your friends house and don't worry about it. Then enjoy when you can and if you choose to share it with your wife at some time in the future do so but that's your decision so do what you wish and don't feel guilty as some are telling you to be for not telling her.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[xdressed]

Wow, you must get altitude sickness from being so high up on that horse!

I don't have children.
I have known my GG friends from before I met my wife.
I haven't told my wife because she's already made it clear she is intolerant of CDs/TVs.
I love my wife, I will never cheat on her, I provide everything I can for her.
I want to occasionally, a few times a year, satisfy my CD desire when she is away for a week and want to store my things outside my home so there is no risk of her ever finding out.

I'm sorry if you think that means I should ruin her life by either telling her or leaving her.

Perfect reply ^_^

[Tracii G]

Saying no way she will ever find out is going out on a limb IMO.
Do what you want but be prepared in the event she does.

[danielle swenson]

TYVM for your reply Sophia as I was trying to strike a nerve, and apparently I did,


I'm sorry if you think that means I should ruin her life by either telling her or leaving her.

I'm not the one who is going to need the apology. But you really need to consider how this line of thinking will ruin HER life when she discovers your little secret!
I do not doubt your love for her, But there is an element of trust that is going to be destroyed between you and her that quite frankly, the longer it goes on the harder it probably is going to be for her to ever trust ANYTHING you say again.
albeit you may have had these friends b4, they are not the ones you vowed to love...TRUST.....and to death till u part with........

This is not done to be cruel but it is what I'm taking away from your OP and some responses. Your actions are those of a narcissist. lets break it down
these are the components that make upa narrassist
the components-
Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways. EX- justifing lying to your wife

Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. EX- your a "cd" so u consider yourself special so it again is justification for your actions, I have a pretty good idea of what ya think of me.

Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. EX= your wife's feelings?

Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. EX -your wife doesn't tolerate cd's so you won't tolerate her boundaries

Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them


Just keep your things at your friends house and don't worry about it. Then enjoy when you can and if you choose to share it with your wife at some time in the future do so but that's your decision so do what you wish and don't feel guilty as some are telling you to be for not telling her.
[/QUOTE]Thank you, I appreciate that. [/QUOTE]

Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people

Well Ill try not to fall off my pretty pony and shout things from my Ivory tower but long ago in another marriage I to was a narcissist I learned the hard way, Those many years ago after it all came crashing down I decided to live my life both personal and professional with Honor/Integrity/Respect , how did that work out well.. I'm extremely successful and have found and married someone who accepts me for who I am, no lies , no games, my wife is my best friend and my confidante Do what you will, but you asked the opinion of others and that's what u got and I Cannot and will not ever tolerate Lying