Sometimes I just don't care what others think

[renaej7]

I have dressed outside of home before, but not a lot. Majority of the time, I am in another city when I do so. I do not get the opportunity to dress outside of home often, but I have these moments, where I just want to get fancy and hit the town...not caring who see me or who knows me. I'm sure I'm not the only one that goes through this, but I would like to know how everyone deals with it without being wreakless? Especially the ladies that don't go out often.

[Ellie52]

Renae
Like others on this forum I am too scared to go out in public. I dont think the world is ready for us yet. Society contains a large percentage of homophobic people who take great pleasure (especially in groups) in deriding non conforming members of that society. This derision can escalate into violence especially if you happen to be in an area where violence is commonplace (nights out in the city). Another worrying thing for me is the advent of social networking and the explosion of cameras everywhere. I am not comfortable to have my picture posted on facebook by someone I dont know calling me a freak, and it worries me that my family may see these pictures though I doubt they would recognise me (My wife would as she is comfortable with me dressing).
Unfortunately for me (I am 52 yrs old) I dont forsee a time in the near future when I can walk the streets and have fun without having to worry my son is going to find out. At least at home I have some control of the environment. Ellie

[Leah Lynn]

Renae, I live in a small town where everyone knows you or at least knows about you. I dress most days after work as I live alone. I will pop outside occasionally, just to "expose" the girl. I usually go out of town to go out enfemme, but have dressed up at home, then drove through town to go elsewhere, like last month's GNO.

Yes, I know that I'm setting myself up to be caught. Last halloween I was dressed, then drove to the ATM at my bank. I found out that the video was saved and explained the halloween party, and had a good laugh with the ladies in the bank. Everyone will think what they want and I've reached the point of not caring; I've gotta be me.

Leah

[ArleneRaquel]

I go out in piblic enfemme all the time, it has become so natural that I wouldn't think of doing anything else. Just last week I chatted with two male neighbors for 4 hours enfemme and no one blinked an eye. My next door neighbor, the very homophpobic one that I have mentioned in the past here returned home during my lengthly conversation which dealt with currents affairs, politucs, and The Three Stooges, and he is apparently back to his old ways as he gave us, especially me I guess, a frowning look. But at my age, 65, I don't care.

[kimdl93]

Like Houston, Atlanta is a big city. It should be fairly easy to find places to go, day or night, that are TG friendly and safe. I took a step out of my shell a couple years ago, and moved a sprinkler in the front yard. No major calamity ensued. At that point, I began expanding my world, and I haven't looked back.

[Princess Grandpa]

I freak out in the general public. Well I did the one time I went out. This is problematic as my amazingly supportive wife wants to go party with her new bestie. We started frequenting lgbt friendly place,Hamburger Mary's. It's a bit of a drive but it satisfies her desire to go play and allows me a safe environment to do it in. As my confidence level grows I hope I can do more for her.

Maybe there is a place like that near you. If there is, you should go. It's amazing being out of the house.

I fear Eloise is right. Maybe it's better in some areas than others, but danger lurks everywhere. You have to take all the precautions a GG would and then some.


Hug
Rita

[Jenny Gurl]

Although only once per year, the Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) in Atlanta Georgia would not be a long drive for you. CD friendly get together at the Crown Plaza hotel by perimeter mall. Coming in a couple months.

http://sccatl.org/content/

[Allison Chaynes]

I certainly have that urge but I have to temper it. I wear androgynous looking women's shorts or jeans out in public, but that's about as far as I've really gone other than one womanless beauty review. I do mow my backyard in a skirt sometimes though.

[Leona]

I've got weird issues about it. First, there's the safety factor. I theoretically live in a city that should be overall one of the safest places to do that, but this same "liberal" city is also the most racially segregated city I've ever seen, and I've been in a lot of cities.

Second, there's the attractive factor. I want random women to flirt with me (but as I'm still married, I just want it to be casual fun, not part of a dating dance or anything). I definitely don't want women I find really attractive to react badly. And I don't want any men to hit on me unless they're really hot and I'm single.

Third, I don't want to deal with the gigglers. They just annoy me to no end.

So I go out mixdressed almost every day. Which isn't quite the same as getting all prettied up and going for a night on the town.

At a certain point, I need to figure out that I can't control my environment if I leave my home, and that the only factor I need to consider is the safety factor, and I need to really assess what the risk actually is where I'm at.

[Contessa]

I couldn't go back and forth with my dressing so I started going out not caring. Then I couldn't go back. Finally about a year or so I went full time and am now a transsexual. I am 24/7 at work and everywhere. Going out should be your goal. The more we are seen the easier it will be to accept us. Actually we are very gentle people. Just work at it you will eventually get there.

Tess

[Lynn Marie]

You'll be a happy camper when you "never" care what others think rather than "sometimes". Family is important, neighbors are just acquaintances. Keep your lawn mowed and don't worry about them!

[jillleanne]

All the time I just don't care what others think. If they have an issue with it, they need to deal with it, not me.

[meganmartin]

That is the hardest part to get past...Not caring but cautious.
Where as i personally go with rules of probability.
Meaning try to go out to places were i know the fewest people and chances not running into someone I may know. But living in a big city helps.

For me that was the turning point of my journey really started enjoying my outings when i did not care what others thought.

[mariehart]

I haven't been out much in recent years. My most recent venture was spur of the moment one wet and dull morning. On a whim I got one of my wife's dresses, boots and coat. Plus an umbrella to hide behind. Hardly any make up or a wig. I decided to drive to the nearby beach, knowing it would be quiet. I was a nervous wreck. I realised I hadn't brought any back male clothes. Then suddenly I thought: So what? What if someone sees me or I'm stopped at a police checkpoint or some other random sighting. Then I relaxed. At the beach I strolled up and down with my umbrella completely relaxed. Not to the point where I greeted everyone: 'Good Morning'. But I enjoyed it.

In the past I sneaked out at night and stayed away from people generally. But that's risky not just that you could be attacked by a mugger or something but that someone might see you, think it's suspicious and call the cops. Most embarrassing that.

I suppose our fears are overdone. It's hardly likely that a mob will form and chase you down the street. The biggest danger really is a bunch of teenagers or young men who may be more inclined to have a go. I live in a very liberal city and it's unlikely that anyone would say much if anything at all.

In fact right now the only reason I haven't been out recently is that I lack a wardrobe. Plus I'd prefer to be with someone.

[mikiSJ]

We should always care what others think - it is how we handle that information that is important.

I had an opportunity to go out with two girlfriends last Friday and afterwards needed to take a taxi back to my car. This was the first time I was out at night and not at a social. I was feeling right at home with girls in a wine bar with no odd looks or comments from the other patrons.

When I got into the taxi I was IMMEDIATELY read. I was taken back, but the cabbie was friendly, asked me if I wanted to be called Mr., Mrs. or Ms. I ended up with Ms. Miki and we had a friendly conversation for the 10 minute ride. While I was caught off guard, I think I handled it well; mostly because I felt comfortable being Miki and I did care that the cabbie did care enough to let me know I wasn't a "girl".

[linda allen]

Some of us are in the position to make these decisions based only on our own thoughts and/or fears. Many of us have family to consider.

My wife is really concerned about me being recognized as a crossdresser, it would be embarassing to her. I understand her concern and I respect it. I'm lucky enough that she accepts my dressing in the house. Quite frankly, I want to maintain my male image among family, friends, and neighbors and I would be embarassed having them find out about this part of me.

When it comes to strangers, I don't care what they think. I don't know them and they don't know me.

So - If I can figure a way out of the house and out of the neighborhood, I am relatively comfortable walking on the city streets, through the tourist area, or even in the malls. It's difficult this time of year because it's daylight until nearly 9:00 PM and it's also too hot to wear clothing that covers a lot of skin. I've done this a few times, but only when my wife is out of town. I can't see leaving my wife home to watch TV while I go out and walk the streets alone dressed as Linda.

What I would hope is, that some time in the near future, my wife will agree to go out with me dressed in the evening and we can go to the city where we won't be recognized. Or even just drive around for a start.

[Nikki A.]

While I personally don't really care what others think of my dressing, I do recognize that my family and work may not feel the same way. Therefore I usually only dress when I'm going outside of my little town although there are times when I will leave and return home dressed.

[Beverley Sims]

I like to get fancy and hit the town, but I do take pride in my appearance.
I do like to look the part.
Neat and smart or even dress down a bit.
Never totally slack though.

[Leona]

When I got into the taxi I was IMMEDIATELY read. I was taken back, but the cabbie was friendly, asked me if I wanted to be called Mr., Mrs. or Ms. I ended up with Ms. Miki and we had a friendly conversation for the 10 minute ride. While I was caught off guard, I think I handled it well; mostly because I felt comfortable being Miki and I did care that the cabbie did care enough to let me know I wasn't a "girl".

I should ask my cab-driving friend how many crossdressers he picks up. He's coincidentally the same friend I just told a story about pranking the LP guy in the LP thread. :)

It occurs to me that cabbies are probably the hardest group to pass for, because, you know, they see everything that comes along at night (when most of the money is to be made).

[Jenny CD]

For the most part I don't really care... The way I see it is... When I go out, most people are oblivious to me, until I'm standing in line at the grocery store or something. I've only had a few bad experiences, mainly from kids saying "daddy that man is wearing a dress!" Other than that, nothing significant. Occasionally, I'll get hit on by 'tranny chasers'. But, I shoot them down pretty quickly. It's really nobody's business but my own. So, I don't feel I should have to justify my dressing to anyone. If somebody doesn't like it, they can take their bigotry somewhere else.

[Sandieland]

I do go to some of my favorite CD/TG bars, but not out in public otherwise. For the moment I am not very happy with my weight and don't think my clothes look good or convincing on me. Thus, I'm working on that one little item very hard and look forward to the day I can go shopping and do other normal things. Whether I step out in public will be based on my confidence level...and that is increasing with every day. Stay tuned and everyone here will be the first to know.

[meganmartin]

Renaej,

One of the advantages about being a member of Sigma Epsilion we have a spare restroom to change. When I started attending my wife would not let me leave home dressed.

I would do all the preparing shaving etc prior and change clothes and put on the wig in the extra restroom. Had it down to about 45 min.

Anyway look forward to meeting you.

[Lynn Marie]

Every year Atlanta has a CD/TG event called Southern Comfort Conference. http://sccatl.org/content/
It just seems to me that you should take advantage of this wildly popular event in your own city! It won't be hard to meet people, make friends, and find safe places to enjoy while dressed. Some of my friends will be there. I might even go.

[Allison Chaynes]

On Wednesday I went to my therapist wearing women's shorts. She did not notice until she asked me about how the CDing was affecting the wife, and I pointed them out to her. One of the things we discussed was how I am getting to that "I don't care who knows anymore" stage. She gave me a lot of questions to ponder.