If only...

[Andrea Rain]

there was a special female out there that desired me completely as I am... So hurt from never being wanted as my own kind of woman. I put on a happy face but I am so terribly lonely and feel as though I am being punished for being me.. I feel the pressure to be "a man", my own blood family except my sister have closed their doors to me. My own brother hacked my facebook account 4 times and had it deleted. Nasty words have been said about me. Well you know what??, I don't wanna be what you want me to be!!, I have a heart and lotsa love to give, am I that bad?? :sad: . And to top it off, apparently I'm a pervert and going to hell in a speedboat too. FML. I live alone in a 1 room studio, I am bipolar and suffer severe depression. I count myself a survivor, as each day I have to choose to live.

[Beverley Sims]

Andrea,
I am sorry, some people close to you can be so cruel.
Maybe you need to speak to someone about being so depressed.
That is not good for you.
Remember you are not a pervert or even bad.
You are just you and probably need advice from an outside source.
I would speak to your medical practitioner, he would have good advice for you.

[Andrea Rain]

Thankyou Beverley..

[suzy1]

My heart goes out to you Andrea.
You have a nasty family. No one deserves that!
There nothing wrong with you. Going to hell? What’s that all about? [I can guess]

Thinking of you and all the best,

Suzy

[Andrea Rain]

Thankyou for thinking of me Suzy

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Andrea, It sounds like it's time to write the family off and start a new life without them good luck.

[kimdl93]

Well, Andrea, I'm sorry you're feeling isolated from family and understand your desire for a supportive partner. I'm sure you're in therapy, and hopefully being treated for bi-polar disorder. So, talk with your therapist about how to make positive changes in your life. When you get to a better emotion place, it will be much easier to begin building relationships with women in your community. And there's a good chance that they'll come to appreciate you in your entirety.

PS. Avoid the toxic family members. They can only hold you back right now. But leave the door open for reconciliation...should they ever reach an acceptable level of maturity!

[Brenda79135]

Family can be a pain that is for sure. It can get yu down in the dumps or it can ignite the person you are inside. When my family starts causing pain, I use the angry I feel to prove them wrong. You are a whole person and should be treated as such. If you are not, forget the people that are causing the pain because they are not worth your effort. Even if you find the magic stuff to fix what they see as wrong with you, they will find something else to put you down.

[Kate Simmons]

I disagree with your family Andrea. You are a beautiful person.:)

[Jorja]

So the Merriam-Webster dictionary includes as a definition of family as :
1. a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : HOUSEHOLD
3 a : a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : FELLOWSHIP
Then there are the definitions that include a blood ancestry.

So what you might need to do is go out and find a family you can live with. Do not ever give up hope on your blood relatives. They have been known to change. Stranger things have happened.

Sometimes we have to be creative;)

[Ellie52]

Andrea
In Australia we have lifeline and they are brilliant. You have similar thing in New Zealand please give them a call 0800 543 354. I know everything looks bleak at the moment but in a month or a year everything will be better. You are young and life is long, you have plenty of time. Please try not to be despondent we are all here 24hrs a day to help.
Families can be a real pain but what is a family? Do we need blood family or friend family, I know the true family you are in here will be support you but you need to call Lifeline ASAP. Pleeeeasse xxx ..Ellie

[Emily83]

Hi Andrea. I'm sorry you're so sad. Everyone here is so loving & supportive. Keep lines of communication open & know you're loved here. If you ever pop over to Australia give me a yell. You have support on this side of the world :)
Big hug!

[Andrea Rain]

Just wanted to say, thankyou everyone....so so much...haven't had that warm feeling inside for a while, it's nice