It Happened Again

[happyallie]

I was wondering how many of you hear the derogatory comments concerning the Trans community? I just got off the phone and my friend said so and so "grew breasts". Inside I'm going so what? A while ago another friend who plays a lot of Internet games with people all over the world said "as far as I know they could be a cross dresser". Again, so what? They never say a thief or some of the really bad criminals or sickos.

I know I should get thicker skin. I shouldn't let it get to me. But it still hurts.

Allie

[Beverley Sims]

Allie,
What hurts in not what people say but the way they say it.
Keep your chin up babe and no, you should not let it affect you too much.
Remember, most do not understand.

[AllieSF]

Yes, a thicker skin will definitely help. It will only bother you if you let it. Don't let it and you will be much happier.

[Tracii G]

Yep thicker skin is needed.Don't let it get to you.
People make fun of what they don't understand.

[kathtx]

Why not reply "So what if they're crossdressers? It not like there's anything wrong with that!"

You're not out to these friends, which is your decision to make. But that shouldn't stop you from speaking up for transpeople. If your friends made a rude generalization about gays, or another ethnic group, or people of a different religion i hope you'd speak up and let them know they're out of line. You can do the same whenever they make an ignorant comment about the transgendered. It might open their eyes a little, and you can do it while staying in the closet.

[happyallie]

Thanks everyone. One of these days I'll say something back and I bet they have nothing to say after that. I guess the main thing is I'm just tired of hearing it. Get a life, get a clue, read a book.

[AngieStone]

I think Beverley is right when she said that most do not understand. It does hurt, but thicker skin would help.

[Lynn Marie]

If you weren't a CD, would you care? You might even agree. There was a time before I even considered getting dressed and I would have agreed with your phone friend.

[Lorileah]

Just remember things like "cast the first stone" or "Walk a mile in someone's shoes" or "why is what they do so important to you? Does it take air from your lungs, food from your mouth, or time off your life?". It works the other way too. Ignoring the ignorant saves you aggravation, but educating them saves others down the road.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, it's pretty common. A friend and business associate routinely makes snide (and demonstrably false) statements about gays in the military, and more recently insisted that transgendered people in the service. He's a retired officer and very conservative, and I know he would be appalled to learn that I'm one of the very people he is bashing. Ironic.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I don't think I would keep a friend with an attitude like that.

You can choose your friends, unfortunately you can't choose your family.

[kimdl93]

True, but you know, I have a lot of friends and business associates who have diametrically opposite political and social values..in some areas, and in other areas we get along like peas and carrots (thank you Forrest Gump ). If I excluded all those people who is agreed with me from the ranks of friends I'd be a lot lonelier and a good deal poorer.

[Tracii G]

I have said things in situations like that........... "so who cares?"or "why does it bother you?" or "so why are you are afraid of them?"
I had one older friend say I think gay or transgender people need their ass whipped.I looked at him and asked why? He said ( insert bubba voice here) cause they are different thats why.
Looked at him and started to laugh he asked what I was laughing at and I said you are fixing to get your ass whipped he said why? I said because you are different and that you are a dumb ass.
That ended the conversation.

[noeleena]

Hi,

There is of cause another side to this though i would say its only for a few of us to be able todo, not only to comment to these people though its more about how much influance you have , yea i know here we go again. its about what can or are we doing about it. can you run the gurntlet can you put your self out there & be known.

im not asking others to do that yet how much exposure can you take or another way can you take the heat when you are faced with The Media, yes i know im in the forfront all the time & i have lots of oppotunitys with in our large groups plus others around us. & travel .

I mean its not a closed subject its very open & to get others backs up is not the way to do it. or confronting people because of , they have not understood the reasons why men dress or others of us are different,

Okay why have i so many people around me , those i work with , friends & others iv know over 15 years here, some 2000 people okay not many yet when you think about it very few have rejected me

I went to many with the intension of inviteing them into my life the door was open i went in & we talked about why we are different the ins & outs & why have they accepted this nut case kid because they became a part of my life as i them.

It was about being open up front & giveing of myself opening up my fears my doughts my shortcomeings my weakness's . you know being very vunaruble . when you can do that you show what you are about .

So am i wrong , i know the timeing was totaly right, every thing yet i was the one going on the ride, i did very little so many things were done for me . had i tryed by myself i would have failed , i know that & i accepted it was others around me that were going to be there for me.

What im trying to get over is ill not ask you's to do this . this is only about muself . okay i put my self on the line or in the fireing line yes i could have been distroyed been rejected , so its a big ask so im not asking any one ....okay.... though youll get my point .

...noeleena...

[Michelle (Oz)]

If you weren't a CD, would you care? You might even agree. There was a time before I even considered getting dressed and I would have agreed with your phone friend.

Interesting perspective Lynn Marie and one I share. It took me quite a long time to accept my female image. I put the underlying cause down to what, as a male, I'd be thinking if I saw a male dressed as a woman. Even now I don't really look at myself while transforming until the wig goes on.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allie, You just can't fix stupid some things will never change.

[Sheren Kelly]

When I hear things like that, I am often amused that the people saying such have no clue as to who we are. Last month my boss said something to my face about CDs, yet he is absolutely unaware of my femme side.

People fear what they don't understand, and that is where the derogatory comments come from.

[Christine.Lolita]

People who put others down to elevate themselves are just insecure about themselves and most like have some secret of their own that they are hiding and feel guilty about. When people make those types of comments I really do not care because I know that I am the better person.

[Loni]

be glad you do not work where i do. very male. very anti anything not "pure" male.
some of the things said and the way they were said agenst trans persons.

sometimes i would like to start hormones...but then another day at work shows me why i can not.
i just hope the cheep chinese pants do not get caught on something and get ripped open.👙

know what i mean vern.

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