"Vaginas are overrated!"

[PaulaQ]

That was a comment to me today from a GG in town, who I didn't know knew about me. Made me laugh, though! :) This was by far the funniest comment I've heard about my being transgendered, lol.

She was really nice about it - she said "Stay in town - we don't want you to leave."

I'd be mad about my wife outing me to well, the whole world, but it was only a matter of time anyway, and I ain't long for here regardless.

Feel free to chime in whether you agree with her or not - I didn't say much because I don't really have any first hand experience of my own...

[kellycan27]

That's like rich people saying money isn't important.. They already have money.

[Andy66]

Yep, what Kelly said. Maybe its a grass is greener on the other side of the fence sort of thing.

[whowhatwhen]

Then again penises can be pretty annoying if you're not supposed to have one.
O_o

What if the other side is greener and you're currently living on a peat farm?
Hop the bloody fence!

:)

[Rogina B]

It is one of the more powerful things on this earth!

[ErinSassyPants]

I have a vagina I don't think they are over rated at all.

However they are highly over valued as a measure of a woman IMO.

I say if you want one they are definitely worth having;)

[Jorja]

Mine certainly changed my life. Worth everything to get it. And.... you don't have to sew it on a sash with fifty other badges. ;)

[MysticLady]

It is one of the more powerful things on this earth!

...........................:iagree::yt:

[ameliabee]

Pfft, I think they're pretty overrated too, but I'm a tad bitchy courtesy of being recently post-op and not really being permitted to do much of anything with a still healing one. Nasty things that drip blood, can't pee straight yet, have to dilate thrice a day for now... Never liked having a penis but this recovery sucks.

[PaulaQ]

Well, I don't know if I'll end up with one. I suspect I will - because GD has started to hit me below the belt. I've never had any sexual hangups. I'm not really a prude, there's nothing about it that has ever seemed anything to be ashamed of. It's just something we do, and that I enjoy. UNTIL RECENTLY. Now, having an erection, or having sex as a male feels gross and like an unnatural act. I've never actually had any concept of what would make something an "unnatural act." But yikes, it gives me the wiggens now!

That was too hard to explain in a restaurant though, especially in front of my son, who was trying to eat his lunch. Luckily he wasn't having bratwurst or anything like that - still, unappetizing to discuss I think! ;) :p

Thanks for all the supportive (and wry) comments and the reminder that while being a woman has a lot of downside, it does at least have one really good perk...

[Michelle.M]

"Vaginas are overrated!"

Not if it's being used properly. Having had experience with both types of plumbing I'll take my vajayjay any day.

[PaulaQ]

Not if it's being used properly.

Slightly off topic, but do you get an instruction manual when you get one? I'd definitely want to be sure I used mine properly!

There are apparently instruction manuals for girls. My wife went through a book with my niece as my niece hit puberty "You and Your Vagina". It had a page with instructions to get a mirror, so you could look at your vagina. My wife was really embarrassed by the book, and especially that page. Seems like something like that for us would be real useful. Especially if it had friendly somewhat pastel tinted illustrations.

[Jorja]

There you go Paula, there is your cash cow. A book for the new post-op. Make sure it isn't a popup book though. :)

[prene]

I would love to have a cash cow.

I do agree, rich people say money isn't everything.

Therefore gg's say that about their V's.

[PaulaQ]

Maybe I can get my son to illustrate "Aunt Paula's Big Happy How-to Book for Trans-Vagina's (a post-op pop-up book)," or would that be wrong? :p

[Angela Campbell]

Give me a couple of years and I will tell you if it is overrated. I'm still looking for the unabridged edition of "from outie to innie in 5 easy steps"

I can tell you that having a penis is very overrated.

[PaulaQ]

It is one of the more powerful things on this earth!

Kinda like the punchline to an old joke I know "Oh yeah?!? Well with ONE OF THESE, I can get ALL OF THOSE, I want!!!" <rimshot>

[groove67]

being only three months from having one I am very excited to have one. I know that there is pain and recovery and much more to it but I can not think of living any longer with male plumbing, as I have hated having it all my life. I am thinking that once I have female plumbing that I will feel normal first time in my life.

[I Am Paula]

I certainly understand how to some girls, the need for a vagina could be the driving force in life. So far, it's still down on my list of priorities. If I had one, there's a good chance it would go unused. I think I am one of the few who doesn't HATE my penis. It's essentially just a pee tube, and forgotten the rest of the time. I would love it if HRT made mine even smaller, or if by magic it disappeared, but in the meantime the cost/benefit of owning a vagina does not add up. I may change my mind, but for now just ignoring what I've got is working. I do however, right out of the shower, need to put on underwear to continue with teeth, makeup etc. Weird huh?

[JackieInPA]

Well since in our society for the most part if you have a vagina you are a woman and if you have a penis you are a man NO MATTER WHAT! I'll keep wishing for the vagina.

[Michelle.M]

Slightly off topic, but do you get an instruction manual when you get one?

You ought to! After surgery we just talked about it during new member orientation.


. . . It had a page with instructions to get a mirror, so you could look at your vagina.

Yeah, a mirror is your best friend when learning how to navigate down there. I'm finally at the point where I can find all the ignition switches just by feel.


Seems like something like that for us would be real useful. Especially if it had friendly somewhat pastel tinted illustrations.

You might be on to something. Get started with your research and first draft now!

[linda allen]

"Vaginas are overrated!"

I've never had one so I can't speak from experience. I once had a boss who stated several times that if he had one (he used a different term, one that is also applied to a feline animal) he would be a millionaire. I don't think he ever really thought that through, most women who use theirs professionally end up in the gutter, not a mansion.

My understanding is that the ones women are born with require a lot of maintenance. I suspect the ones constructed from spare male parts require less.

One of my fantasies is to have one (and the body to go with it) for a couple weeks just to feel what it's like to be on the other end of the ............. :heehee:

[Angela Campbell]

Actually the ones made from surgery require a lot more maintenance. Nothing is easy for the MtoF transitioner. It requires dilating several times a day for the rest of your life for one thing.

[Frances]

Dilation is once a week for 20 minutes for the rest of your life, not several times a day.

[Angela Campbell]

I stand corrected, I am told Dilation is started several days after surgery, when the temporary packing inserted during surgery is removed. After several weeks of several dilations per day, the patients will eventually be able to cut down to one dilation per week.

[donnalee]

There you go Paula, there is your cash cow. A book for the new post-op. Make sure it isn't a popup book though. :) Recently I ran across one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen - a pop-up version of the "Kama Sutra"! Bought it immediately, of course (a present for someone (don't know who yet, but I'm sure I'll figure it out).

[Jorja]

How many times have you read that "present" already? :)

[Michelle.M]

I stand corrected, I am told Dilation is started several days after surgery, when the temporary packing inserted during surgery is removed. After several weeks of several dilations per day, the patients will eventually be able to cut down to one dilation per week.

Right. The maintenance curve starts out very high (it consumes your life for the first month) and then takes a sharp downward trajectory. Once a week is where you end up.

[Jorja]

A hose and a scrubrush and away you go. :)

[Michelle.M]

I just use my boyfriend who has a very active imagination and who pays strict attention to details.

[Jorja]

You will age too my dear. Lol....:)

[Michelle.M]

I expect so! I'm 55 now, so it'll hit me like a truck soon enough. But I have recent upgrades, so maybe I'll get a few more miles in before the next overhaul.

[KellyJameson]

You can look at the penis or vagina as very powerful symbols of everything that is implied by those who have one or the other.

From a practical stand point a penis is probably a structure that is easier to live with.

A woman must worry about urinary infections often caused by sex and a wise woman knows to urinate after intercourse.

Yeast infections can be a life time curse along with menses and all the baggage that comes with them, such as cramps and wide swings in hormones.

A woman is more likely to be stricken with certain forms of cancer such as breast or ovarian and now that she is swimming in an environment filled with xenoestrogens, she is suffering from estrogen dominance leaving practically every woman on the planet now needing progesterone crème to offset these effects.

Also a woman must live with and bear the effect of being sexually objectified as a consequence of male sexuality and this objectification is designed into nature as an aspect of male sexuality so it will always be there and it is getting far worse as an expression and consequence of societies distorted and corrupt value system.

She must be the one that places herself in danger from child birth or being abandoned with her children by the men that helped create them.

Her smaller stature places her at risk of being a victim of violence or at the very least her life being more difficult from not having the same physical strength as her male counterparts.

Regardless of what advances the female makes she will be viewed as a second class citizen because she is "sexually objectified", "physically weaker" and "mother" which has come to symbolize failure for many in comparison to her career oriented sisters.

Anyone who spends time with women must realize the struggles they have with feeling good about themselves.

I totally get why she said vaginas are overrated from her point of view.

[whowhatwhen]

Dilation?
It shrinks?!

[Kathryn Martin]

There are some strange myths out there, dilation stops when you have intercourse on a regular basis. Genetic females suffer from vaginitis (a shrinking of the vagina) for instance after surgical menopause (hysterectomy) or menopause and need to dilate as well to prevent atrophy of the vagina.

Having a vagina is both utterly normal and fabulous. Women do not have UTI because they have a vagina that is complete BS.

[Angela Campbell]

Overrated or not....I want one. (vagina that is)

[PaulaQ]

She also mentioned that she thought women had "way more fabulous choices in clothes, so she totally got why someone would want to wear 'em."

Poor breasts - they always seem to get short shrift when I have these discussions with folks. I didn't have the presence of mind to tell her "boobs bring the party!"

I've decided I'm going back to that restaurant tonight presenting as female. If I don't continue this thread, it's because someone in redneckville murdered me over prime-rib... :O

[Debglam]

That's like rich people saying money isn't important.. They already have money.

Amen sista! Amen!

[melissakozak]

that's like rich people saying money isn't important.. They already have money.

brilliant quote...

[Ellanore G.G.]

On a lighter note, we can get Vajazzling:
its little diamonds , you can have them anywhere.
Most women prefer them on the bikini line.:o
I love them, they are cute.

[Kali]

My wife had her annual ob/gyn vist this week. Her doctor said she had a "perfectly normal, post-menopausal vagina"

I'm guessing she would agree with the over-rated statement about now ;)

[Ellanore G.G.]

lol Kali , had the same done this week, and I agree with your wife.
But hey thats just me

[Debglam]

Actually the ones made from surgery require a lot more maintenance. Nothing is easy for the MtoF transitioner. It requires dilating several times a day for the rest of your life for one thing.


Dilation is once a week for 20 minutes for the rest of your life, not several times a day.

From a non-transitioner, let me ask this: I always thought that dilation was something like keggling, i.e. a "workout" for the vay-jay muscles??? I just saw "Transamerica" and there is a scene where they discuss dilation and show what looks like forceps. Would one of you post-ops mind giving a brief explanation???

Deb

[Kathryn Martin]

Think different sized dildos....

http://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set

[ameliabee]

Dilation is once a week for 20 minutes for the rest of your life, not several times a day.
Depends on your surgeon. I'll be stuck at 2x/day for an hour each for the first year, with no clear instructions after that other than to keep up with it.

[Launa]

"Vaginas are overrated?"

I say bullshit, I would give my right and left nut for one.

[Frances]

Depends on your surgeon. I'll be stuck at 2x/day for an hour each for the first year, with no clear instructions after that other than to keep up with it.

I'm 2.5 years post-op. Protocols are different for the first three months, but after a year, it's once a week for everyone.

[whowhatwhen]

I have no idea how vaginas work so humor me...

Do you... do you just pop it in and go about your day?
Like "fwooooop!" okay, time to make dinner?

[I Am Paula]

Problem with vaginas these days is, the new ones come out as early as May. There's a good chance yours will be obsolete before you've gotten it off the lot. Never get a vagina first model year, too many recalls, wait till they get the bugs out. They are showing some nice ones this year. I think the imports are better value, even if maintenance is a little costlier.

[Frances]

Corinne, you put it in and stay still while holding it in for 20 minutes. You can read, watch TV or look at stuff on the net during that time.

[DebbieL]

I suspect that your friend was trying to tell you that she could accept you as a woman whether you had one or not. For those of us who have wanted one all our lives, it's nearly impossible for us to even consider going through all the steps of transition then not completing the process. However, to a woman who has had one all her life, and may even be a bit of a tom-boy, it's just how things are. She might even wish she had your equipment.

As for difficulty achieving orgasm, that starts long before SRS. The testosterone blocker tends to make it nearly impossible to have erections, and certainly nothing useful for intercourse. It's still possible, with the right kinds of stimulation mentally, physically, and emotionally, to have orgasms, but it takes a while to get used to not ejaculating. Eventually you dry up and can only have dry orgasms.

There are some who remain she-males, often for financial reasons. Back in the 1980s, they could do the vaginoplasty, but the clitoris was purely cosmetic and non-functional. I remember seeing "Sulka's Wedding" and realizing that she did not have a clitoris. I saw an interview with Shannon where she discussed her transition. In those early days, they would not knock you out completely, because they needed to figure out how to connect the nerves correctly. Apparently, it was extremely painful, and the recovery took much longer than it does now. As surgical techniques have improved, so have the options and the quality of the finished product. There is still a painful recovery period, and after-care can be painful at first, but it seems to be worth it.

[PaulaQ]

"Only thing I ever prayed for that I got."

My friend is just a gem. Aside from a restaurant, she owns a clothing store. She wants me to come shopping in there next weekend. She and my waitress (who also works in the clothing store), were already thinking about stuff to put me in.

And I think Debbie L's observation about her is spot on. She said very much the same thing tonight.

[Jorja]

Paula, I think you had better watch out for your credit card balance. ;)

[PaulaQ]

Jorja - tell me about it. Sephora killed me today. That look of "we love you!" is so close to the look of "we want your money", idn't it? :p

[Debglam]

Think different sized dildos....

http://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set


Oh my! :o

Too short reply yada yada yada. . .

[Michelle.M]

Think different sized dildos....

http://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set

Oh my! :o

You have no idea. That big one is like having a baseball bat stuck in your hoo-hah.

[PaulaQ]

I just use my boyfriend who has a very active imagination and who pays strict attention to details.
...
You have no idea. That big one is like having a baseball bat stuck in your hoo-hah.

One could draw inferences about certain features of your boyfriend? Ultimately though, as long as "tab A" fits into "slot B", it's all good...

Just sayin'... ;) :p

[whowhatwhen]

Why use a dilator set when you have everything you need at your local farmer's market?
;)

*runs*

[Beth-Lock]

Yes. The grass just seems greener. Dilations, (always remember to call them 'exercises' or something, in public, as Frances posted once), are just one part of the high maintenance, more complex female body thing.


I suspect that your friend was trying to tell you that she could accept you as a woman whether you had one or not. For those of us who have wanted one all our lives, it's nearly impossible for us to even consider going through all the steps of transition then not completing the process. ...

You can opt to get the vulva without vagina.



There are some who remain she-males.... This is usually because they feel that sex with male equipment is better.



In those early days, they would not knock you out completely, because they needed to figure out how to connect the nerves correctly. Apparently, it was extremely painful, and the recovery took much longer than it does now. As surgical techniques have improved, so have the options and the quality of the finished product. There is still a painful recovery period ...

Pain never bothered me much ... I was lucky. Medical techniques have greatly improved. But for one moment, the evening after the op, I screamed in pain, the only time I have screamed as a adult. No big deal though. Sort of makes a funny story in retrospect. Women do scream in childbirth too. But I do not feel so good down there, just naggingly uncomfortable, a year after op. I hear from my (private) coach, that there are many cases of probs after SRS, some involving complete failures of sex change. It is definitely not without risks. As a result, the opinions expressed will vary, some have had a good experience with SRS, others not so good, and for others, it solved nothing, and they are still dysphoric/suicidal/depressed/financially wiped out, and so on. What you say, depends on what your personal experience has been.


Why use a dilator set when you have everything you need at your local farmer's market?
;)

They could have designed the dilators better too, but as with the veggies, it would create a likelihood of infection. For about six months after SRS you are very, very vulnerable to infection down there. Even when you use a public rest room, take out your sterilizing wipes and go to work, before you sit down. That was what I was taught.

[donnalee]

How many times have you read that "present" already? :)
I did read the original (English translation - Illustrated) some years ago, but age and an inherently inflexible body have limited any practical application in most cases.

[Serana]

Maybe I can get my son to illustrate "Aunt Paula's Big Happy How-to Book for Trans-Vagina's (a post-op pop-up book)," or would that be wrong? :p


If you can get another hyphen in there you're onto a winner. ;)

[Marleena]

This calls for the "vagina is 8 miles wide song".

Mods I hope it's okay to post or I'll take my spanking.:D

*Mod note* Search you tube - link not allowed by our rules

[TeresaCD]

I like that someone where you live, values the person that you are.
And that's special :)

[linda allen]

Dilation is once a week for 20 minutes for the rest of your life, not several times a day.

If I knew what "dialation" actually meant (to a MTF), this would be a lot more clear. I have an idea, but nothing more.

[MysticLady]

I would love it if HRT made mine even smaller, or if by magic it disappeared, but in the meantime the cost/benefit of owning a vagina does not add up.

The Words of a...............Savy Business Woman:D

[linda allen]

I wish you were here and I could show you my set of four dilators, (progressively wider), in basically a show and tell, though after show most people do not need to be told much. They are solid plastic and look like very simple dildos. They are inserted into the vagina to a depth of about 5 1/2 inches, (the full depth of the surgically created vagina), and held there for about 5-20 minutes each, according to the specific, printed instructions you have been given. You lie on your back in bed, knees bent and pointed skyward, a hand mirror in your other hand, to see what you are doing down there. You are given a specific schedule for how many to use and which sizes, and how long for each, plus how many times a day, by the hospital. The purpose is to keep the vaginal vault, (cavity) from closing.

Thank you. It's kind of what I thought but thanks for the details. I can see where that could be pretty inconvenient, especially if you're working or travelling.

[kellycan27]

Slightly off topic, but do you get an instruction manual when you get one? I'd definitely want to be sure I used mine properly!

There are apparently instruction manuals for girls. My wife went through a book with my niece as my niece hit puberty "You and Your Vagina". It had a page with instructions to get a mirror, so you could look at your vagina. My wife was really embarrassed by the book, and especially that page. Seems like something like that for us would be real useful. Especially if it had friendly somewhat pastel tinted illustrations.

There are some things that they don't tell you like... Water can get up there whilst swimming and it comes back out at the most inopportune times.... a cough or sneeze can cause you to wet your pants slightly. LOL

No naked sky- diving cause you're liable to whistle on the way down. ( ok... I made that one up) :heehee:

[MysticLady]

No naked sky- diving cause you're liable to whistle on the way down. ( ok... I made that one up) :heehee:

:whistling:...................:heehee:

[whowhatwhen]

Is the depth of the vagina related to the size of the existing penis?
Neat stuff those things seem, but then again I've not seen one in the wild either.

[Frances]

^Regarding Depth. Yes and no. Donnor material (penis and scrotum skin) has something to do with it, but also pelvis size and width. The skin used is stretched out.

Even if an apendage looks small, there may be enough donnor material anyway. In extreme cases, skin from the thigh can be used. Some surgeons use a portion of the colon.

[linda allen]

................. No naked sky- diving cause you're liable to whistle on the way down. ( ok... I made that one up) :heehee:

You didn't make that up, I heard that one in junior high school. ;)

[Sejd]

Seems to me like an impossible question. I have two trans girlfriends. They both had the sex change operation. One told me that if she had known how it would feel to get old, she would never had gone through it. The other one just had her operation last year and although she had high hopes it would change everything, it did not change her situation at all and now she has to deal with the medical cost. Personally, I never think about my penis as a male thing and I always have sex imagining I am a woman. That leads me to think that we are all different. For me it just seem to work out fine in my head, for others it doesn't. So there you go. Is it the solution or is it not? I guess it is a very personal decision which cannot be decided as an either or.

[kellycan27]

I don't think anyone can judge whether or not having a vagina is overrated unless they have lived with both sides of the issue. Anything else IMHO is speculation. Personally my intention for SRS was two fold. I wanted congruence, and I wanted to someday marry and have a family. Both have come to fruition and I couldn't be happier!
"I've got a band new pair of roller skates.. You got a brand new key, I think we should get together and try them out you see"! :heehee:

Linda

Every party needs a pooper... That's why we invited you! :heehee:

[PaulaQ]

Personally my intention for SRS was two fold. I wanted congruence, and I wanted to someday marry and have a family. Both have come to fruition and I couldn't be happier!


I guess I'm only wanting a vagina for congruence. Who knows if I'll ever even use it for anything? Right now, my libido == 0. Hoping to have one again, of some sort, one day.

[whowhatwhen]

I'm just speculating but the best thing about a vagina would be that it's not a penis.

[Angela Campbell]

It will be nice when I do get one, but to me it is just part of the picture. There is so much more I want. All of it is just as important. The voice, the hair, the curves in the right places, the breasts, the smooth face, and l living as a woman. None of that is less important.

As for it not being a penis.....well it wouldn't do for me to have a groin like a Ken doll either. It all has to be there so the outside matches the inside.