transitioning is way overrated!

[Inna]

Yep, Transitioning is way overrated. I mean, really, after countless thousands of hours of tears and anguish you get to drive, walk from the car to the groceries store passing couple of guys who later, once you have passed them, whistle and then say to each other, Yawza! Then you walk into the store, stroll between vegetable displays and smiling males, turning around to see your ever so vibrant tush. The Overstressed Moms telling their relentlessly rambunctious kids "please let this lady through KEVIN!"
Then making your way to the check out line to be let in front of this older, and yes, smiling gentlemen, saying "go ahead, you only have couple items" Yeah, I know, he wants to check out that tush...ahaaaa.

And how about those evenings when you get in free and sip on a free margarita, courtesy of "Ladies Night" Really?

Or getting to use the bathroom which actually smells like flowers, and the seats are.....O My God! Like all down?!

Well, I don't know about you, but all that transitioning and "This Is What You Get?!?!"
OVERRATED!!!!

[Dawn cd]

Inna if I ever transitioned—which ain't gonna happen—they would snicker at my tush.

[Serana]

Don't forget that you also get the fantastic privilege of paying someone to make new bits for you downstairs after you've been transitioning for a while!

And you get to pay people to make your boobs look like a normal girl's if they're small. :D

You get to pay out the ass for so many things, it's such an awesome privilege to have! You get to save up all your cash and not get that car and driving lessons, or place that down payment on that dream home, you get to have the opposite genitalia to what you were born with instead!


I dunno though, I'd say that transitioning is over-rated if you're expecting something from it besides that feeling of inner peace.

If all you want is some inner peace, and not wanting to slam your head on a while and spend thousands of hours crying at yourself in the mirror wishing you were someone else; then... I'd say it's worth it, every penny/nickel, and every moment of thought that it gets. Ever minute of dilating if you get SRS, and every minute of guys acting like dogs just to see "dat ass".

Every cloud has a silver lining, and you have to be optimistic and joyful about these things! :D

[SuzanneBender]

Inna that is a very interesting take on transition. Lets face it this isn't about the societal perks of being one gender or the other. This is about something much much deeper.

I have to snicker when I am asked "why are you choosing to be a woman." In my case there is no choice. To quote the wise and sage Popeye, "I am what I am and thats all what I am." Why anyone in their right mind would give up the significant male privilege in our society is far beyond me, but I am in the process of doing it and it feels great. I guess that is what happens when when you give up living a lie for an honest life.

Lets go get a cocktail down at the local pub. Its ladies night.

[groove67]

well I say I love the attention as is that not what a girl wants to have the guys really like the body and you are getting the attention as a woman witch in many cases we wanted all our lives and now here it is. well worth it.

[Jorja]

Yes, transition is overrated until a male tries to become a female with out transitioning. That just doesn't work very well.

[sandra-leigh]

The "let this lady through" is the only part I need - that is, the recognition of my gender. Not saying I would object to the occasional huzzah, but I am not expecting them, considering I am past the age of "second bloom" already.

[Sejd]

Transitioning and presenting female are two different things. What Inna is describing is really just the thing about "passing" and that is of course all good and well. I like it when I pass also. But I do think that transitioning is something a bit other than what is described in this post. So I understand your joy Inna, because I like that feeling myself, but I don't think it has to do with transtitioning. I have not changed my sex, but I still go out as often as I can as female because it makes me feel right. But I am also aware of all the downsides, like I am not safe when I leave a public building at night when I am a woman. Dark parking lots are unsafe. My job might be over if I came out! my voice don't count in public argument because I am a woman. I am in danger if I get stopped by a police officer and they find out i am really a genetic male. It just seem like you make it a bit too glamerous to be "transitioned" . And by the way,I have been to numerous womens bathrooms which were anything but clean unfortunately. All in all, I think that if you feel more real, then bless your heart.

[Lynnmorgan451]

to the OP...
....thats the stuff that dreams are made of ;-)

[ameliabee]

I know, right? Now I'm a disempowered sex object! Flushing male privilege down the toilet makes life so much harder.

[noeleena]

Hi,

& of cause there is another way one does not need to transition just being a female to start with,... that.... i think is far better, so there you are,

...noeleena...

[Angela Campbell]

I know, right? Now I'm a dis empowered sex object! Flushing male privilege down the toilet makes life so much harder.

Male Privilege? I don't think I ever had that. Is that kind of like getting beat up because you are different? Or being expected to behave a certain way, having to hide who you are from the world? Never having an identity?
Or are you referring to the privilege of being competitive, strong, and aggressive?

For me transition is two things. There is the changing of appearance which is what I would have worked on when much younger if I had been born female in body, but it is also changing the way I am allowed to think about myself. Casting off this horrible disguise that I had grown so attached to for safety. The only privilege I ever experienced was avoiding the abuse that always came if my real self ever slipped out.

[Michelle.M]

Male Privilege? I don't think I ever had that.

Of course you did. If you were born male then you were born with it. It's kind of like the ability to breathe. It's so natural that it's unnoticed until you lose it.


Is that kind of like getting beat up because you are different?

No, that's bullying, discrimination, transphobic violence or something along those lines.


Or being expected to behave a certain way, having to hide who you are from the world? Never having an identity?

No, if it's because you're trans then you may be referring to transmisogyny or transsexism.


Or are you referring to the privilege of being competitive, strong, and aggressive?

That's not male privilege; that just a male tendency or social characteristic.

Male privilege is the social privilege males enjoy just by being male. Being deferred to, having their thoughts and opinions count more than those of women, being regarded as naturally in charge or as naturally the leaders of nearly every social construct.

[Angela Campbell]

OK...."Being deferred to, having their thoughts and opinions count more than those of women"
Never happened to me. My Mother tells me she never experienced this either. My thoughts and opinions as a male? I was always told to sit down and shut up. I do not expect this to change.

"being regarded as naturally in charge or as naturally the leaders of nearly every social construct."
Never experienced this either in fact usually the opposite. I wouldn't want it either. May be because I have never been competitive, nor aggressive. Or because I have always shied away from the male world.

Could be you are right, I don't know, but whatever it is I don't want it. Sounds like more of a burden than privilege.

[Michelle.M]

Never happened to me. My Mother tells me she never experienced this either. My thoughts and opinions as a male? I was always told to sit down and shut up. I do not expect this to change.

It's a societal dynamic, not a family dynamic. Dysfunctional or problematic family dynamics don't override society's tendency as a whole to do this.

Any time you ever went in to a hardware store and the guys there just assumed you knew what you were talking about instead of giving you 20 questions over the purchase of a hammer, you experienced male privilege.

Any time anyone (male or female) spoke to you directly and listened to your answers instead of tuning you out and paying closer attention to the man standing next to you, you experienced male privilege.

Any time any other man privately shared a sexist joke or referred to a woman using sexual comments with you, out of earshot of a woman, you experienced male privilege.

And of course your mother never experienced it. She's a woman.


Could be you are right, I don't know, but whatever it is I don't want it.

Not to worry. As long as you present female you'll never have it.

[arbon]

Bathrooms can smell like flowers? I have not found that yet, but more than a few where a baby with a poopy was being changed, or was just changed

[kellycan27]

What makes transition " overrated " are fantasy posts such as this one. When one discovers that for the majority.. These things don't happen ( or happen for a very few) they figure out that transition may not be all that some claim... hence it's overrated. IMO... This thread is exactly the fuel that contributes to the feeling that some may have that transitioning is overrated. Kind of ironic......

Arbon

It just makes it smell like someone popped in the garden. :heehee:

[MysticLady]

Well, I don't know about you, but all that transitioning and "This Is What You Get?!?!"
OVERRATED!!!!

Hi Inna, it's very interesting to me that you feel this way. How were you when this(fog?) hit you? Were you all happy happy joy joy? Do you regret transitioning? I would appreciate your thoughts.

[PaulaQ]

I'm sort of simple-minded, so all I hope to get from it is relief from crushing gender dysphoria that makes me want to slice off my own face some days. If that's *all* I get out of it, it's totally worth it.

[Inna]

OK, I suppose I am not a best comedian, or simply this section of the forum does not support Pun Intended LOL comedy. I wrote above OP to simply add some laughter to this section.

As in reality, every twinkle in their eye, every grimace of a smile, every connotation unequivocally underlying my womanhood, feels heavenly, and reinforces of whom I ever was but denied such privilege for near entire life.

So I shall not attempt further Comedy here......still LOL :)

[arbon]

It was worth the try Inna :)

[Emmalee]

I thought about transitioning before......but i'm not sure i would wanna be full on man or full on woman. I like to think of myself as a sea lion cool on land cool at sea and cool everywhere in between.

I guess according to the coagti I am a Transgenderist which is pretty damn accurate

[PaulaQ]

So I shall not attempt further Comedy here......still LOL :)

No, keep trying. Sometimes a gag falls flat, that's all. Happens to everyone. :)

[Michelle.M]

I guess according to the coagti I am a Transgenderist which is pretty damn accurate

You are if you say you are, and that's what matters 'cuz COGIATI = hokum.

[Angela Campbell]

If I need some comedy I just look in the mirror.

But I guess we all need to have a light moment every now and then.

[MysticLady]

So I shall not attempt further Comedy here......still LOL :)

Sorry Inna, Since I didn't see the "LOL" I thought otherwise. I'm glad you feel good about yourself. Plus, I don't want to see your fans disappointed. :hugs: Please don't stop being funny. Too much seriousness is just so boring:heehee:

[I Am Paula]

At least once a day I look in the mirror and have a good laugh. Marriage uncertain, bad face days, I'm in that period where Hallmark cards, and puppies can make me cry, and I haven't grown any boobs yet. What's not to laugh at?

[Barbara Ella]

It was well written, Inna, and did get a chuckle, but at times even a chuckle does not overcome the mental gymnastics we are going through.

Still, for many of us, wouldn't it be nice to be overrated?

Barbara

[Kimberly Kael]

OK, I suppose I am not a best comedian, or simply this section of the forum does not support Pun Intended LOL comedy. I wrote above OP to simply add some laughter to this section.

Good try! There is a lot of truth to what you had to say, which makes it difficult to pull off to much comedic effect. The benefits of transition from an outside perspective are subtle at best and come with a lot of other baggage. It's the feeling of congruency that makes it worthwhile for some, and all those silly little things become pleasant reminders of that real gain.


It's a societal dynamic, not a family dynamic. Dysfunctional or problematic family dynamics don't override society's tendency as a whole to do this.

Any time you ever went in to a hardware store and the guys there just assumed you knew what you were talking about instead of giving you 20 questions over the purchase of a hammer, you experienced male privilege.

Any time anyone (male or female) spoke to you directly and listened to your answers instead of tuning you out and paying closer attention to the man standing next to you, you experienced male privilege.

Any time any other man privately shared a sexist joke or referred to a woman using sexual comments with you, out of earshot of a woman, you experienced male privilege.

Bingo! All that and more. I've seen it described as playing the game on a lower difficulty level. You're not guaranteed to win, but you have advantages that may well have been invisible to you. It also combines unpredictably with other forms of privilege or lack thereof stemming from race, class, nationality, wealth, health, etc.

I have to say it was a real wake-up call when I bought my first car post-transition. Suddenly it's assumed that the only things I care about are color and vanity mirrors, that I don't have any negotiating skills, etc. Those hidden assumptions play into every part of our lives and cease to be invisible when they're not to our advantage.

[Ashley D.]

Oh and lets not forget the aggravation of waking up everyday.
Happy and a sense of self worth.
Yea way overrated!!