Consider this next time you hear a rude comment.

[Nicole Erin]

For those of us out and full time, unless we pass real damn well, we sometimes hear rude comments or people laugh. Most of us go through our daily lives without much incident.
Take note though that when it is some rude-ass, is it ever they type of person you would want ANYthing to do with regardless of your gender?
It isn't often someone in a suit or someone clean cut and well-spoken. No, in my experience, it is usually some trashy looking person with poorly done tattoos and a wife beater shirt who sounds like "mahhh yeee yar glahhh barrr rahhh" with a "Larry the cable guy" accent.
OK in fairness, sometimes it is the original wanksters.
Is it worth it to worry what the dregs of society think?

Maybe you don't enjoy the sting of being reminded you don't pass. Well now think of this - What about young, pretty women who have to be around such trash? Imagine how nerve racking it is for them.

[ArleneRaquel]

Nicole Erin,
You are so right. All and I don't mean all most all of the the rude remarks have come from trashy people who use language in regular conversion that is so obnoxious it is sickening. My next door neighbor when he met me for the first time, I was in drab at the time, used racial & ethic slurs in describing the buildings janitor, he did these several time until he realized that I might be on of the groups that he was slurring. Great Post Nicole.

[ErinSassyPants]

Maybe you don't enjoy the sting of being reminded you don't pass. Well now think of this - What about young, pretty women who have to be around such trash? Imagine how nerve racking it is for them.

I think this is an excellent point. I started getting attention from those men when I was 12 and it was awful even as supposedly positive attention. Given the choice I would choose to have them tell me anything other than what they think passes as compliments. Of course, a fear for safety can be at the base of both the creepy compliments and the insults anyone not presenting in a traditional gender stereotype way.

In the end though the things that hurt us are the things that bring up our fears so even if the person spouting insults is clearly not worthy of believing if they are saying things we fear are true they will hurt badly.

[linda allen]

People with low self esteem often feel the need to put others below them. For example, some white people put black people below them and some back people will put hispanic people below them. Straight people often put down gay people. And you are correct, it is usually the people on the bottom rungs of society's ladder who feel that need to (in their minds) create rungs beneath their's.

I don't like to be around these people of have to listen to their comments, but often there is no easy way out. I had a work partner for several years who was Irish and short and he had a derogatory slang name for every ethnic group there was. If you remember the TV show with Archie Bunker, that was him. He even looked like Archie Bunker.

At least, it seems to be getting better.

[Amanda22]

Nicole, I agree with you 100%. Although I go out frequently I'm still sensitive to others' staring, pointing, whispering, etc. I want to progress to the point of not caring. When I have one of those sensitive moments, I do the healthy self-talk to get myself through it, but I'd really like to not have to even do that. I'm hoping it's just a growth process. I think ultimately if I feel like I have every right to dress as a woman, then others' negativity wouldn't affect me. If that's true, then it's on me to fix it.

[arbon]

I usually could care less about people i don't know,
its the ones that have been closest to me that make the comments that sting

[MysticLady]

What about young, pretty women who have to be around such trash? Imagine how nerve racking it is for them.

Nicole, IMHO, to these women, a man like this is very attractive to them for some reason or another. :idontknow: