"We can't choose what God gives to us"

[PaulaQ]

This was what a woman in town said to me today. I've decided not to go out presenting as male anymore, so I went to pickup my weekly batch of cookies from a local baker. I take them to my TG support group meeting.

So the baker had never seen me presenting as female before, so she asked, very sweetly, "why are we dressed up today?"

I explained that I was TS, and that this is why my wife and I are divorcing. She told me that she was sorry for my loss, that my wife was wonderful, but that she'd known other TS folks, and then made the statement above. She was really sweet.

Sometimes people surprise you.

[Angela Campbell]

But we can choose what we do with it.

[ArleneRaquel]

A lovely story. I just love this blessing of mine, of being a full time lady. Why should I deny myself something that I love being. Is it better to live a life of fear & depression ? As long as I do not harm others & treat others the way that I would wanted to be treated is is NOTHING wrong, evil, bad, or nasty about being a CD'er, in fact being true to myself as made me a better and more thoughtful person. Sorry for the rant ! Be Well & Best Wishes & Hugs !

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Paula, thank you for posting this. I had expected it to be a negative comment, but instead it was supportive in the context.

It's really lovely when we come across someone who just "gets it".

[vikki2020]

that is a lovely way to put it!

[arbon]

wow Paula, going out locally :) , what happened to the place you live being to intolerant and unsafe for people like us?

[MysticLady]

Sometimes people surprise you.

More than you can ever imagine Doll. :)

[Barbara Ella]

Paula, a wonderful positive post. I am so glad that you made the decision and are going out as yourself. I am sorry you are divorcing, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

It is wonderful how accepting many people can be, and even more wonderful when you encounter them.

Barbara

[I Am Paula]

It's nice isn't it. I went for blood work today. The receptionist was reading the requisition, got to estradiol, looked at me and said 'Good for you honey'. My smile for the day.

[PaulaQ]

wow Paula, going out locally :) , what happened to the place you live being to intolerant and unsafe for people like us?

Heh, after I realized that my wife had outed me to so many people, there is little doubt in my mind that my story is out all over the place now. So partly I stayed closeted here for her safety, not just mine. Well if she doesn't care who knows, why should I? And you are right, it is ironic that mostly I've met with positive reactions out here. I guess maybe part of it is that I'm just compulsively nice to people. Apparently, it's hard to dislike me.

Now I'm sure that there are some intolerant folks out here who would give me problems. (I know a couple of them.) But ultimately, what made me decide to go out en femme were two things:
1. Presenting as male is just hellishly uncomfortable for me at this point, even for a few hours. I can't do it anymore. Anything some redneck might do to me can't possibly be any worse than what I feel as a dude.
2. About everyone knows probably, so trying to hide something that people know about just looks stupid (I can't abide looking stupid), and worst, it looks like I'm ashamed. I'm not ashamed. I will NEVER be ashamed of who I am again. NEVER.

I think if I stayed out here, it might actually be sort of OK, although I'd likely have trouble with some, and be the token tranny mascot to others. (I'd be annoyed about the latter, but I'll take positivity in whatever form it shows up, and the people who'd treat me that way have their heart in the right place.)

Ultimately, my wife needs time and space to heal up emotionally. So really, that is the main reason not to stay. That, and where I'll live in Dallas will be 1/2 mile from TG resources, rather than 50-60 miles.

As much as I have feared intolerance, I sure haven't run into it very much!

[melissaK]

I loved her comment to you too. A sweet way to teach ourselves faith, and to accept ourselves, and to teach ourselves tolerance and to accept others.

One of my Aunts used to earnestly listen to my complaints of life and then smile and and pat my arm and say "This too shall pass honey, this too shall pass."

I think the two expressions make an nice set for coping with many of our TS issues. And while both sound very religious, a scientific rationalist can still follow them by realizing they embody the experiential wisdom of mankind over centuries. At least I think you can make a case for that. :-)

[Cheryl123]

Somebody does get, and one day everybody will get it. Good luck to you Paula. I'm sure your positive energy will draw many good people into your life.

[noeleena]

Hi,

One of the things with people sometimes as iv said we need to trust others with our life , now i know many wont take that very well & will depend on the person & those around them. yet you know what sometimes we need to pull down our walls we hide behind because sometimes the eyes of those around us are not as closed as we think.

Lovely to hear of some one else who see's beyound the wall after its been pulled down.

...noeleena...

[Ariamythe]

Hi Paula, thank you for posting this. I had expected it to be a negative comment, but instead it was supportive in the context.
LOL I clicked on the thread thinking the exact same thing. It really is a line that could go either way. "You were born a man, and you should stay a man. We can't choose what God gives to us!" Glad this one wasn't that story.

[I Am Paula]

Paula, I'm so glad your getting out, and getting over some apprehension. A closeted TS is like a caged rat.

[Angela Campbell]

I am happy to see Paula having some good feelings. She deserves it. It is hard to watch someone go through so much and it is so good to see a more positive person. One day Paula, you will be happy.

[Princess Grandpa]

Such a lovely story. Thank you for sharing.

Hug
Rita

[TeresaCD]

Sometimes people surprise you.
All the time, all the time
Great to hear, Paula.

[SilkenPrincess]

What I cherish most about her comment to you is the fact that she recognized that transsexualism is a GIFT, not a curse or a burden. I stumbled at that point for many years until I also recognized my internal makeup was a gift. I loathed my condition for many years. Now, it's a source of constant celebration, even if there are issues to be dealt with in transition. I consider myself extremely blessed to be who, and what, I am.
Steph

[dawnmarrie1961]

That's right. We have to work with what we've got. Change the things we can change. Accept the things that we can't.

[MysticLady]

So the baker had never seen me presenting as female before, so she asked, very sweetly, "why are we dressed up today?"


When People and we are not apprehensive, this is what we'll encounter.


But we can choose what we do with it.

Exactly. The only thing that we own, are our choices, not our bodies, minds or hearts. Just our choices.


Is it better to live a life of fear & depression ?

I will not accept that from you, young Lady. You're too sweet:o


The receptionist was reading the requisition, got to estradiol, looked at me and said 'Good for you honey'. My smile for the day.

You see. Folks just want happiness from all, no matter how they get it.



As much as I have feared intolerance, I sure haven't run into it very much!

That's because you have Faith in Yourself. When they see that, they want it also, So, you become a magnet for people. I'm so happy for you Paula.



One of my Aunts used to earnestly listen to my complaints of life and then smile and and pat my arm and say "This too shall pass honey, this too shall pass."


Melissa, I think your Aunt knew the purpose of Life. She had gained "wisdom" from her experiences in Life.


What I cherish most about her comment to you is the fact that she recognized that transsexualism is a GIFT, not a curse or a burden. I stumbled at that point for many years until I also recognized my internal makeup was a gift. I loathed my condition for many years. Now, it's a source of constant celebration, even if there are issues to be dealt with in transition. I consider myself extremely blessed to be who, and what, I am.
Steph

Hi Steph. I'm so happy for you in that this is not a burden for you anymore. If something gave me the opportunity to be happy, loving, nurturing, understanding, giving and have Peace of Mind, then, why would I call this a burden instead of a "gift". I choose to call it a gift.


Accept the things that we can't.

I agree. Completely:hugs:

[Courtneigh]

Glad the response of the Lady was so positive.

Choice....it's all about choice....no matter who or what you believe caused you to be the way you are...gender or sexuality or whatever !
It's all about what you choose to do wit and about it.

[TeresaL]

It is so nice to get a breath of fresh air when we are down in the dumps.