A New State of Mind

[LeaP]

I've moved to a new state. From a very liberal area of the country to the Bible Belt (new job). While I was very comfortable in my old state shopping and trying things on, I'm feeling self-conscious and hesitant in my new state.

It's sort of like going back to square one. I don't know how I will be received down here, so I furtively go around, pluck something off the rack and head for the men's dressing room. There is no state level provision here for gender identity, so I feel at risk all of a sudden.

I'm sure I'm overreacting. But I can't shake the hesitation. Who else is in the Bible belt or a conservative state? How are you received and how do you deal with things where you live?

[Dawn cd]

Good luck, Lea. Tread lightly down there.

[MysticLady]

I'm sure I'm overreacting. But I can't shake the hesitation. Who else is in the Bible belt or a conservative state? How are you received and how do you deal with things where you live?

Sweetie, I wouldn't worry about it. Now, with all the lawsuits and libels and abuse of a system and now allowing yourself to be who you are. Most are scared to do anything. It's our destiny...............fortunately.:D

[I Am Paula]

While I can't comment on bible belt mentality, I moved to a small town to go fulltime where no one knows the old me. It was much easier than I tthought it would be. The only piece of advice I can give is don't frequent the same places as boy and girl. I think if people see you both ways, they are less accepting. You're posting in TS, so I'm assuming you're in transition. As a TS musician all I can say is- You're playin to a tough crowd. Good luck.

[Wildaboutheels]

It looks like you already realize that your biggest enemy [as with most here] can be found by looking in the closest mirror.

You are in a new place, new job, new house... It's perfectly natural for you to be a bit apprehensive.

[DeeArel]

I live in the Bible belt and also travel extensively through out the many states in the southeast. I have found most places to be accepting especially when shopping.

What city do you live near? I might be able to guide you to shopping venues and night spots.

[Stephanie-L]

I have been transitioning in the Bible Belt, and have been amazed at how few problems I have had. I do live in a large city, so the attitudes will be a little more liberal than those in the small towns, but I have also had occasion to travel to the small towns around here, and have never had an issue. It was a little difficult finding a therapist and an endocrinologist, as there are few who have experience in the areas I need, and I did go through a couple of electorologists, mainly because they tend to be older women, the younger ones generally don't have a problem. Check with your local LGBT groups, they often have some resources available. And if you happen to be in Fort Worth or near by, I would be glad to share any info I have...............Stephanie

[melissaK]

I think you are up against preconceived notions LeaP. They may prove right, but you do yourself injury to form a notion without actual evidence. So . . .

[arbon]

Its not the bible belt, I don't know what that is like, but a lot of people think idaho would be one of the worst places
I used to think so to, I remember my therapist asking why I did not transition and the first excuse I had was "THIS IS IDAHO, EVERYONE WILL HATE ME!"

it was not really true, only a few people hate me :)

The little valley I live in is pretty tolerant but I go out of town a lot to other parts of idaho and its been okay
the mormons a lot of them may judge, but I found that they will generally be respectful and not give you any grief
hold your head up, show confidence, be brave

I even survived going into the public women restroom at the twin falls county fair - scary places, thats one place I was pretty freaking nervous lol


You look really nice Lea

[PaulaQ]

I live in a conservative state, and in a rural area. So far I haven't run into much intolerance, but I'm sure it's out there. In stores and stuff, as long as you are in the larger stores, it doesn't really matter where you are, they want your money, and there are more of us out there than you'd think. You'll generally have better luck with younger people, who seemingly today know someone, or know a friend of a friend, who is transgendered.

I've even started to go out as myself in the tiny rural (pop 3000 or so) towns nearby, and well, am not dead yet. Would I go into a redneck bar on karaoke night? Er, not alone. (My son - who looks like a biker - and I went to one last Friday night...) Will I go other places alone? Sure. I'll report back if anything awful happens.

[Angela Campbell]

I am not sure if Florida counts as Bible belt or not. Is it a conservative state or liberal? I only know it is crazy. Stick to larger towns and cities and it is safer. I have never had any problems going out, never a comment and if I get looks I haven't noticed.

[kimdl93]

I'm in Texas, but urban Texas. The reception I get, even in the lily white subrban neighborhood is generally indifference,with an occasional freindly smile or conversation. I don't go to rodeos or biker bars, and generally avoid late nights and small towns.

[SilkenPrincess]

I'm in SE VA and haven't had any problems whatsoever. On rare occasions I might get a questioning stare, but they are getting rarer. I'm usually just ignored just like people ignore most people around them. (read that as blending in!) The people that I do happen to interact with have all been pleasant, even when it has become obvious that I was read. But, being read isn't an issue to me anyway. I am happy about who and what I am and have no fear of discovery. In fact, I welcome any opportunity that presents itself to educate an unknowing populace.
Steph

[Rogina B]

It strikes me that being afraid of woman's dressing room in a retail store is being pretty extreme..Not sure as to your actual "presentability"[for lack of a discriptive term],but I am quite sure that you are at least "questionable" to the quick glance of others,so why worry so much? If you are going to be living there[like it sounds like you are] ...How is there going to be a "happily forever after" for you? What can you change most easily to be more comfortable there? Wondering..

[LeaP]

The OP was written in a moment of fatigue and mild depression, having just started my job and living out of a hotel. I'm sure I will be fine once I settle in. Too much change going on ...

[groove67]

I live in chicago and am fulltime 24 7. I pass pretty well and really have not had any problems shopping. Really i pretty much blend in as just another woman shopping. I have been living full time for so long now i probably would not notice stares or comments as i just feel normal being me.