the term sissy on ebay

[linda booth]

Could someone please tell me the motive of sellers on ebay who use the term sissy? I think I would purposely not buy from them.

[Jorja]

While it is a derogatory term and most of us are offended by it, there is a certain population under the LGBT umbrella that prefer the term sissy to describe themselves. To each their own. If you are not drawn in by the term sissy, do not go there. Simple, huh?

[Stephanie47]

I started a thread on this subject within the last week, and, the consensus of opinion was basically a marketing ploy or targeting an audience. I questioned why a seller would through into a listing words such as TRANSVESTITE, CROSSDRESSER, TV, CD, etc. I still don't buy into the idea it's marketing. My opinion is the seller's ignorance of who we are.

Sure, if you're into ADULT BABY fetish that makes sense. Cut to the chase and find that adult size baby outfit with king size baby bottle.

My objection to the analysis is using such terms for ordinary ladies undergarments. I just do not buy into the concept that a cross dresser does not know how to find women's full slips or a bra in the proper size.

So, ADULT BABY is fine for the quart size baby bottle, but, not for an ordinary Vanity Fair full slip in size 38. IMHO

[PaulaQ]

There are CD / TG folks who enjoy a little humiliation (or often the fantasy of it), who sometimes use the term sissy, precisely because it is humiliating and a bit derogatory. Some of them really crave humiliation. There are entire websites devoted to these types of fantasies. (The actual reality of such relationships is, as such things are, usually pretty different from the fantasy - for one thing, you'll often pay actual cash for it.)

Although for many I suspect this is an outright paraphilia, I suspect for some, the idea that some dominant person "forces" them to become a woman, is a way for someone who's TG, but in deep denial, to allow themselves access to the gender they crave to be. (It's not my fault! Mistress blackmailed me, drugged me, and when I awoke, I had breasts and a vagina! /cue scary violin music.)

Anyway, yeah, sissies.

[linda booth]

Thanks to the 3 of you for enlightening me. I guess it's a combination of baby fetish & domination. So far I haven't seen anyone on this web site referring to this stuff.

[Vickie_CDTV]

The reason they list all those terms in their auction is so that their items show up in the widest range of searches. Someone might search on "transvestite book", but might also search on "crossdresser book", or "cross dresser book", or "transsexual book" etc. eBay gives sellers a very small number of characters to use in their item's title, so it is imperative people put words in the title that will show up in a wide variety of searches (this can also be done to descriptions if case users opt to search in the descriptions as well as the title.)

It is just marketing, not a value judgment or such.

[vanitysumers]

being a "sissy" was a fantasy many years ago and still is a fantasy for some now.

there were books and magizines dedicated to the genre

[brandi.tgurl]

i too cringe at the word. while i know its a valid fetish for some, for me, personally it conjures a negative aura about CD/TS community. However, i know there is a sample population of CD who find the "sissy" appealing. I think the posts ahead of mine, discuss the whole deal quite eloquently. when shopping on ebay, i try to buy from auctions targeted for the non-fetishist in most shoppers: simply, i'm looking for a skirt, a dress, shoes, etc. i just search under clothing, women, regular... etc. however, i have to admit, i saw some cute panties, once, that had a "sissy/CD/TV/etc label. I would have bought them, too, had the price not exceeded my budget.

[Khaleesi81]

i too cringe at the word. while i know its a valid fetish for some, for me, personally it conjures a negative aura about CD/TS community. However, i know there is a sample population of CD who find the "sissy" appealing. I think the posts ahead of mine, discuss the whole deal quite eloquently. when shopping on ebay, i try to buy from auctions targeted for the non-fetishist in most shoppers: simply, i'm looking for a skirt, a dress, shoes, etc. i just search under clothing, women, regular... etc.

▲This. I find the whole thing a bit icky.

[Crissy Kay]

Could someone please tell me the motive of sellers on ebay who use the term sissy? I think I would purposely not buy from them.

Hey Linda, some of us cds do consider ourselves sissies. Just deal with it!!

[NicoleScott]

As Crissy Kay said, there ARE sissy CDers. The word describes a style.
Why people who don't use the word, and other people don't use the word to describe them, would get offended when the word is used to properly describe others (and their clothing) baffles me. People get offended because they choose to. There's a lot of that going on here.

[Sara Jessica]

As I mentioned in Stephanie's previous eBay thread, there must be validity in that type of "marketing" or else they wouldn't do it.

Think about it. Take the entire spectrum of TG, every manifestation you can think of. What percentage of that community participates in message board sites such as this? Rather low, I'd guess. Even lower is the percentage of those who go out into the real world is low, whether mainstream or places that are perceived as being inherently "TG friendly". My point is that there is a huge piece of the TG pie who lives in the shadows, whether out of happiness there, out of necessity, or simply fear. There may be a larger fetish element in those shadows but that's beside the point other than the fact that you have a built-in target market for feminine wares who do in fact search places like eBay using keywords like CD, TV, fetish, sissy, or whatever. It must work. And on top of that, think about how overpriced stores are which cater to the TG market. They prey on fear and secrecy and often sell a substandard product for the price they charge. I would guess that those who use the aforementioned keywords also get an incremental bump in their sales, both in volume and price.

[Princess Grandpa]

My son works in the field of search engine optimization. S.E.O. marketing. I like to tease him that he and his peers are ruining the information highway. I still maintain these terms are being used to promote their rankings on a google search, or bing or yahoo etc.

Several weeks ago when I realized "OMG I'm a crossdresser" and I started searching the web to find more than just porn relating to CD I discovered there is an entire subset of us that like these overly frilly things and proudly (even if only their own mind) identify as a sissy. I assure you many of them are searching for "sissy dresses" etc.

Additionally, having no knowledge of this community meant I didn't know that referring to a woman en femme as "in drag" would be offensive. Guess what was included in my search! Yup clothing of drag queens, or some variation. People are using these ridiculous (to some) terms to find their way around the many links. Only after joining these forums did I learn terms like "En Femme, En Homme, Presenting, and a host of others. Add to that the countless things I don't know, or understand yet.

Even here on these forums I see a great deal of discussion about titles and their actual meaning. If we within our community don't really understand how could those who aren't blessed (or afflicted depending on your view) with gender fluidity possibly know what's appropriate or insensitive.

Things like "sissy" are offensive because many of us were called things like that as we grew up by our peers or maybe even family members. It only makes sense that many of us would be bothered by it. I do believe its done out of ignorance not malice and with the sole objective of moving their product.

Hug
Rita

[Janet77]

What about the style "Lolita" or "Gothic Lolita"? Pretty similar style to sissy, at least the dresses, and probably doesn't have the negative connotation of the word sissy....

[Princess Grandpa]

Connotations and similarities don't get hits on a search engine. In all likelihood those terms are used as well. One wants to use any possible keyword that might net their link "getting rank".

[Beverley Sims]

The term used on E Bay is all encompassing and maybe not for you any way.
A sissy dress there would cost more than a frilly feminine dress at K Mart.

[Ressie]

The reason they list all those terms in their auction is so that their items show up in the widest range of searches. Someone might search on "transvestite book", but might also search on "crossdresser book", or "cross dresser book", or "transsexual book" etc. eBay gives sellers a very small number of characters to use in their item's title, so it is imperative people put words in the title that will show up in a wide variety of searches (this can also be done to descriptions if case users opt to search in the descriptions as well as the title.)

It is just marketing, not a value judgment or such.

Yep, it's a key word for those searching specifically for sissy clothes. Sissy clothes are frilly and satiny that range from maids outfits to petticoats and frilly panties! It's more of a sexual fetish, and let's face it... sex sells! I don't own any, but I wouldn't mind it lol.

[Tracii G]

I have no problem with CD's that prefer that side of CDing.To each their own.
Some of the dresses are really cute but not something I could pull off.

[DebbieL]

Could someone please tell me the motive of sellers on ebay who use the term sissy? I think I would purposely not buy from them.

When referring to adult male cross-dressing, "Sissy" culture refers to "forced cross-dressing", usually involving female domination in which a wife or female lover forces the reluctant male to wear women's clothing. This theme is popular to many men and women. For some transgenders living is stealth mode, they often feel like they are forced to wear men's clothing and often have fantasies of being given comparable levels of pressure to dress and look like beautiful and sexy women.

Given the female domination aspect, often the feminized male is also given a submissive or subordinate role, such as a little girl, maid, or "****".

The sissy fantasy is one that is not uncommon for women, especially women who have been intimidated, abused, or sexually assaulted by males at some point in their lives. For them, the idea of having the ability to humiliate and intimidate a man, making him do exactly what she wants, whether that is cleaning the house in the maid's dress, or giving her sexual pleasure or even just foot rubs, can be exiting and cathartic.

There are numerous books with "Sissy" themes, many with variations such as caging, bondage, or cuckholding.

Though it's a popular fantasy, even for transsexuals, it's not a reality that most people want to live on a full-time basis. A full-time lifestyle of that sort could easily become emotionally abusive, and would eventually wear on the self esteem of both the dominant and the submissive. It's similar to the exercise where one group of students were made guards, and the other group was made prisoners. With very little coaching they became so abusive that the experiment had to be stopped early because both the guards and the prisoners were becoming a danger to each other.

Like any power exchange fantasy, there should be safe-words, limits, signals, and a focus on mutual pleasure. If those words are foreign to you, you probably aren't a "sissy".

The word itself is loaded. For those of us who were transsexual or transgendered in elementary school, it was a word associated with violence that was just brutality. When a woman would ask me if I was a "sissy", that was the association I had with the word, and I would react with such fear and anger that it was obviously not a "fun game" for me. We might have had fun under different circumstances, but there were too many red flags for both of us at the time.

[NicoleScott]

When referring to adult male cross-dressing, "Sissy" culture refers to "forced cross-dressing", usually involving female domination in which a wife or female lover forces the reluctant male to wear women's clothing.

That may be true, but there are many CDers who just like to wear sissy dresses for their own pleasure and have nothing to do with role-playing, domination, forced feminization, or partners.

It seems that the national pasttime nowadays is getting offended over everything and remedies always require the majority to cave to the minority. Those of us who engage in crossing norms ought to know that we'd do better if we grew a thicker skin. Not to justify other people's stereotypes and discrimination, but for our own benefit.

[robindee36]

If you dress as a woman, enjoy the company of others who dress this way, and your not GG's, what are you? Happy!!!! Or at least I am :)

The only term I am offended by is "gurl". Much prefer T-girl, CD or LL. But that's just MHO.

Hugs

[Sandieland]

As some of you have suggested...and I agree, the word carries a sense of submissiveness. It enters the realm of S&M in some respects and infers humiliation of those who embrace acting (or being) or dressing a certain way. But, those who do so receive a type of pleasure from this that is hard to understand by those not attune to this level of submissive behavior. An example of another similar type of behavior is someone who enjoys pain as sexual pleasure...something I do not enjoy, but do understand intellectually.

[NathalieX66]

I'm guilty of liking some of the clothes, if they're done right. I have my fetishes too! Some of the stuff on ebay is just trash.

But sissy is a subculture that's not really my cup of tea. So much of the roleplay revolves around the word itself. I find the concept of forced feminization laughable. But hey, if you like it, by all means, knock yourself out and have a good time.

[Jamie001]

I have no problem being called a Sissy because a Sissy is what I am.

[Leona]

Congratulations! I only had to scroll down about halffway through the thread to read "SEO" and soon after that "keywords" and I was only skimming.

Nice to see a group that's reasonably well-informed. So, congrats to all!

[Vickie_CDTV]

It is funny how as a society, people tend to get really upset about the really, really small stuff and completely ignore the huge things that matter. People will get all upset over a paper cut, but refuse to even look at the boot on their neck crushing their throat. I'd rather we all get the boot off our throat, and if we have time later we can worry about the paper cuts.